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10-15-2007, 03:04 PM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| The world is about to end I just thought I would give ya'll a heads up so you can prepare. My oldest daughter is supposed to go to a school dance this Friday. Well, today I informed her that she can NOT go. (this is half the reason the world is going to end). She has not been doing any of the basic little chores she is supposed to do. I have either let it slide, given a gentle reminder to do it (which was ignored), or I have flat out warned her that if it didn't get done then she would not be attending the dance. She has done nothing. Last night I asked her to put the towels in the dryer. She didn't do it. This morning I asked her again. Before she left for school I asked her if she remembered to put them in the dryer. She said, "Yes." So I just went to put a load of clothes in the washer and what did I find? The towels! So not only did she NOT do what I asked her to do, she flat out LIED to me. So no school dance. Now, because she won't be going to the dance, her boyfriend (which I think she is too young to have anyway) is going to hate her forever and be mad at her and probably break up with her. (this is the other half of the reason the world is going to end) So now she is in there doing laundry. She has stripped her bed, AND her sister's bed AND her brother's bed. She has remade them with clean sheets, etc. She is busy in the kitchen making dinner. She is washing the dishes as she goes. She dried, folded and put away the towels. She cleaned the front bathroom. All of this she has done in a matter of 4 hours. So in 4 hours she has accomplished more than she has in the past 2 months combined. I said no to the dance but now I feel guilty. I don't want to be the mean mom. Would it be bad to make her sweat until maybe Wednesday and then let her go to the dance anyway? I don't know what to do. I don't want to let her go after telling her she couldn't, but I do think I was angry and didn't think before I told her she couldn't go. I wish kids came with handbooks.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
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10-15-2007, 03:06 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ATX
Posts: 4,513
| you sound like a good mom.' Is this a really imp. school dance, like homecoming or something? If so maybe I would let her sweat it out awhile then let her go, but make sure she knows that next time she might not be so lucky.
__________________ GIGANTIC DOG CLOTHES SALE!!! <--- CLlCK! |
10-15-2007, 03:14 PM | #3 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| No, its just the little fall dance. Not a HUGE deal as far as dances go, but a huge deal to her because its her first dance that a boy actually asked her to. I don't want to ruin that for her. I don't want her to think that from now on it doesn't matter if I tell her no either. I guess I am going to make her sweat it and then explain to her that I realize how important this dance is because its her first one with a boy and I don't want her to miss that (hopefully winning myself a few brownie points as an understanding mom), but she had better shape up around here because next time I tell her she isn't going then she really isn't going.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
10-15-2007, 03:16 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas
Posts: 5,272
| Well you sound just like I used to be with my kids and am now with my grandkids. I'm not saying this is what you SHOULD do but what I would do, is let her sweat it out and then let her go. My daughter and I just had this conversation today about her daughter. |
10-15-2007, 03:19 PM | #5 | |
Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: ATX
Posts: 4,513
| Quote:
__________________ GIGANTIC DOG CLOTHES SALE!!! <--- CLlCK! | |
10-15-2007, 03:20 PM | #6 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| It just makes me so mad that she can't do anything she is supposed to do until I get mad and start yelling. Then she manages to accomplish everything she is supposed to do and more.
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
10-15-2007, 03:44 PM | #7 |
& LuvtheCarley too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wa State/Texas
Posts: 1,625
| the one good thing about this whole thing is.... when the world does end, at least your house will be clean, and the laundry will be done Sounds like you have a good handle on it, I would let her go too, but I would also let her know these 2nd chances won't always be there, either. also, just so you know, eventually they do manage to grow up and make us proud and we miss them and wish we had the Pain-in-the-Butts back again and we get our yorkies cause we miss them so much!!
__________________ Delaina Cooper & Carley Last edited by LuvtheCooper; 10-15-2007 at 03:45 PM. |
10-15-2007, 03:44 PM | #8 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,292
| I'd make her sweat it out and get as much work out of her as possible
__________________ |
10-15-2007, 03:46 PM | #9 |
& LuvtheCarley too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wa State/Texas
Posts: 1,625
| yeah, that too!!!!
__________________ Delaina Cooper & Carley |
10-15-2007, 03:50 PM | #10 |
Misssing Baby Chloe Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California
Posts: 4,186
| This sounds EXACTLY like my house. (14yr old girl) I know what you mean about feeling guilty. She ignores me until I yell, then looks at me like Im insane. I always cave in and let her go too. You really made me laugh because it sounds so familiar! You are not alone!
__________________ We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made. -M. Acklam |
10-15-2007, 04:18 PM | #11 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NYC
Posts: 1,859
| I will be honest in what I think you SHOULD do...being that you told her that her punishment was no dance, she shouldn't be able to go. Letting her go after you laid down the law (no dance) is just going to make her think that you aren't serious about the punishments and she will just repeat her actions again because "mom isn't going to do anything but get angry and get over it...she seriously isn't going to punish me" I know it hurts to punish them and not let her go to that dance but you have to stick through with the punishment that is the only way she will learn. NOW what I would do is make her sweat it out because I don't think I would make her miss the dance, I would feel awful if i did. I know im contradicting myself but I did say what "should" be done not what I would do lol. I think next time around take something away from her that you isnt a one time deal like the fall dance. Maybe take my route and use the internet. My daughter has been punished and cant go online till Nov 4th...its been about 2 weeks and shes suffering but I will not give in! see with the internet I don't feel as bad as her missing a dance lol children don't come with instructions but you are doing a great job! as parents the mistakes we make are endless but we learn from them
__________________ Its SummerTime! |
10-15-2007, 04:24 PM | #12 | |
Kyle Plus 3 Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 6,929
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10-15-2007, 04:28 PM | #13 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member | i think yes she does need to learn to listen but i think it would be terrible to make her miss her first big dance i really dont think she will even get over that mabee take away everything else |
10-15-2007, 04:32 PM | #14 |
Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,227
| When I was in middle school my parents grounded me from a dance. I had a date and everything. They didn't cave in and I did learn a lesson. Usually I didn't complain with my punishments, (my junior year of high school they took my car away and I rode the bus) I didn't complain so I got some of my punishment taken off. My brother always argued and complained and they usually got sick of hearing it and gave in to him. If you ask my mom that is one of her biggest regrets because now he is so hard to control. I think you were being a great mom!
__________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail. |
10-15-2007, 04:34 PM | #15 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia
Posts: 2,563
| I didn't MEAN to tell her no dance. I was mad and that is what came flying out of my mouth. I am definitely going to make her sweat. She in there reading a bedtime story to her 4 year old sister and everything out of her mouth the last few hours has been "yes ma'am". I am going to milk this for all its worth. I feel a little guilty about making her do all of this knowing I am going to let her go anyway, but not guilty enough not to at least get the house good and clean out of the deal. lol
__________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut |
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