Not sure what to do...

[tjdmom]

sometimes when they are really bright, they get bored going at the slower pace and that's when they start talking or acting out in some way so you'll have to watch for that as well. I know what you are saying about being strict. I think my husband and I are pretty strict to but in a loving way if that makes sense. I'm always surprised at the people who just give their kids so much freedom at such young ages. When anthony was 11 we saw a couple of his friends at the mall by themselves. I still wouldn't drop him off at the mall by himself and he's 13 now. Maybe I just hear too many stories of what goes on in the mens rooms at malls but gosh, don't others hear those stories too? Anyways, it sounds like your doing a really good job but isn't parenting tough sometimes?

[SevenGirl]

This is so great! I love hearing everybody's ideas and how so many people have had to deal with these situations! What a great site!

Anyway, I think it is awesome that you are working hard to find the best way to work through issues that come up with your daughter now. Just think---as they get older, the situations get tougher (we would probaby be thrilled if our problem with our 16 year old was a little talking in class!!) Anyway, sounds like you are setting the groundwork for a great and healthy relationship with your daughter!!!

[pepe mint]

Here is what the teacher wrote to me in response to my email to her asking what was going on...

Mandee,
I agree that Trinity is smart and has a lot of potential! She is a good student. I really think that if I move her away from the table that she’s at right now, there will be an improvement in the talking area. She isn’t interrupting me when I’m teaching or wondering the room, etc. It’s mostly during independent work times. She gets more social and not focused on the assignment. Both of the students at her table seem to not be a good mix. I think I’m going to change all of their groups for Monday and see what changes with some of the other talking issues that I have. I appreciate your questions and follow through at home. It makes a big difference in how they respond to me here.

Trinity is such a sweet girl and so fun to have in class! She really wants to please me and tries hard a lot of the time.

Thanks again,
Mrs. Baker

so...sounds like we are on the same page

[chachi]

My daughter is in 1st grade too and when she does something shes not supposed to do we ground her from playing with friends and that does it for us. That s what she most likes to do

[SevenGirl]

Mandee,
It sounds like Trinity is doing great and Mrs. Baker has everything under control. She obviously thinks your daughter is doing great in class(sweet girl, fun to have in class, tries to please, lots of potential---wow!!! )Believe me, I am sure she would tell you if she thought there was a big problem with the talking! I'm sure her teacher really appreciates your concern and help at home. Glad to hear everyone is on the same page.

[Rockster's Mom]

Originally Posted by pepe mint

My daughter is in 1st grade this year. It seems like at least once a week she gets a mark on her folder that she has been talking in class. I really don't know what to do. I have been trying to think of things I could ground her from but I just can't think of anything. I almost grounded her from gymnastics but we pay a lot of money for that each week and I don't think it would do any good anyway. It would be different if she was in trouble for talking on a day she has gymnastics...then I could see incorporating it into that...but she hasn't.

so...today, I made her write "I will not talk in class" 20 times. she was ok with it for the first 9 times but after that she REALLY did not want to do it anymore. But I made her sit an do it...through her tears.

do you think this is a good idea? and then if she continues to do it...I can take it a step further?? This is my only child so this is a learning experience for me...I just don't know how to keep her from talking in class. Her getting marks on her folder doesn't seem to be helping. Oh..and when they get in trouble in class, they have to move their star (on the magnetic board) from green to yellow, if they have to move it to red, the parents get called. so she has to do this in front of the classroom. so far she has only ever gotten to yellow. but you would think that getting reprimanded in front of her friends would make her want to stop. apparently not! she is really a good kid. never gets in trouble for much of anything...but she is a talker!!! I should have named her Gabby LOL

any advice???

My DH is a 1st grader with the same problem. I thought at first when school started she was just adjusting to being back in school, well she has back for 4 weeks now and the problem has been happening more frequently. I tried wrighting sentences and took TV away as punishment, but that did not work. So I decided to ground her from playing with dogs along with the other things. Well that still did not work, so I decided to make a surprise visit to class and observed her behavior which I sure did see alot and learned alot. Anyways that has seemed to solve a problem for now. She really did not like that mommy was setting in the back of the classroom watching her. I hope you are able to resolve the issue. I have to get very creative with punishment sometimes.

[nvnvgirl]

Originally Posted by Angela

Mandee I had this problem allllll the way through elementary school w/Christian. He is a talker, still is at 16 ( not in class though ) Anyway, he was a great honor student, teachers loved him he just could not shut up....not everyday, but you know. Anyway, what REALLY helped him was in middle school he took Drama 6-8 grades and I didn't have anymore problems. In Drama they got to get out and use all their " clowness " Maybe you can look into drama for kids until its offered in school for her. Good Luck!

Angie

I had the same problem with ME all the way thru school . I remember getting in trouble (with my teachers) from the time I was in first grade for talking when I wasn't supposed to be and it didnt' matter WHAT they did to me to get me to stop it. But I dont' remember either of my parents really getting on me for it. I think I figured if I got good grades, that I could talk all I felt like. Which isn't all there is to life unfortunately. I got kicked out of class (and I was a straight A student ) for talking too much when I was a junior in high school. I think after that, the teachers just gave up on me . I think if someone had disciplined me more and more consistently, I would have eventually gotten the "message"!

[yorkiesmiles]

Mandee, I just saw this thread. You've received some good advice. Great advice from Suzy. And an informative note from Trinity's teacher.

I've dealt with the very bright child. My daughter struggled to be intrigued in class in elementary school if she wasn't challenged. Is Trinity challenged by the work she is given? And friends & surroundings do make a difference. Perhaps, a change in seating groups will help her. Also, knowing that she talks during her independent work times, might be easier for her to explain why she's talking.

Learning to control talking can still be difficult at 6.

With an educational background in family studies & therapy & a great deal of work in the field and much reading in raising my darling daughter, I just wanted to share the title of the best parenting book I ever read. It's called "How To Really Love Your Child" by Ross Campbell. The only thing I struggled with in this book is that he supports spanking (in one chapter) and I don't. But there were days at about 17 I was rethinking that one - lol.

[pepe mint]

Originally Posted by yorkiesmiles

Mandee, I just saw this thread. You've received some good advice. Great advice from Suzy. And an informative note from Trinity's teacher.

I've dealt with the very bright child. My daughter struggled to be intrigued in class in elementary school if she wasn't challenged. Is Trinity challenged by the work she is given? And friends & surroundings do make a difference. Perhaps, a change in seating groups will help her. Also, knowing that she talks during her independent work times, might be easier for her to explain why she's talking.

Learning to control talking can still be difficult at 6.

With an educational background in family studies & therapy & a great deal of work in the field and much reading in raising my darling daughter, I just wanted to share the title of the best parenting book I ever read. It's called "How To Really Love Your Child" by Ross Campbell. The only thing I struggled with in this book is that he supports spanking (in one chapter) and I don't. But there were days at about 17 I was rethinking that one - lol.

thanks for the info I will look into that.

I have never had strong feelings for or against spanking...but I have never really had to spank Trinity. She responds so well to other forms of discipline, I just have never seen it necessary.

Trinity really is a great kid...she is a bit mouthy and as far as school goes, this is really all she ever gets in trouble for. so I guess I am pretty blessed

I am not sure if she is challenged. I know the homework she brings home, she usually breezes through. there was only one time I remember her having trouble with her homework, and it was math-word problems. once I figured out how to explain it to her LOL, she got i just fine and there were no problems after that. so, I really have to wonder if she is getting enough of a challenge right now. maybe she is just bored in class?? well, I am not sure...but in my email to her teacher, I did ask if she thought she might be bored. she didn't respond to that

thanks again for that advice everyone....you are all very helpful

[Suzy]

A lot of you are saying that writing sentences helped your children remember why they shouldn't misbehave...that just made me remember another consequence one of my teachers had, and I thought I'd share: when my fourth grade teacher had it with people talking in class, she would make them copy a dictionary page for each "offense"!!! That would be a LOT of writing, and special attention to word definitions abbreviations, and punctuation! Then she would grade them on them, and if there were more than a couple mistakes, she would make them do it again!!! (I thankfully never experienced the joy of this work but I remember a few that were well acquanited with Webster!

I think that first graders are far to young for this, but maybe store this one in the back of your mind for later on!

[StewiesMom]

OH please do not make your daughter write sentences. I used to have to do that, and it just frustrated me - it never stopped me from talking.

I'm very outgoing and used to get into trouble for talking in class ALL THE TIME.

I would just sit down w/ your daughter one on one and let her know that you know she likes to talk to her friends a lot in school, but explain to her that it is disrespectful to the teacher (ie only one person talks at a time), and to the other children who are trying to learn. I think its most important that she knows WHY she shouldn't do it - not that its just 'not allowed.'

[StewiesMom]

I just thought of something -

In fourth and fifth grade, my mom used to make me write essays explaining why what I did was wrong. It would have to be a certain word length. One time I swore when we were arguing with one another, and I had to write a 1000 word essay about why that was so wrong. Not only did I have to write that many words, but I had to count them, too...