Not sure what to do... - YorkieTalk.com Forums

pepe mint · 09-20-2007, 12:39 PM

My daughter is in 1st grade this year. It seems like at least once a week she gets a mark on her folder that she has been talking in class. I really don't know what to do. I have been trying to think of things I could ground her from but I just can't think of anything. I almost grounded her from gymnastics but we pay a lot of money for that each week and I don't think it would do any good anyway. It would be different if she was in trouble for talking on a day she has gymnastics...then I could see incorporating it into that...but she hasn't.

so...today, I made her write "I will not talk in class" 20 times. she was ok with it for the first 9 times but after that she REALLY did not want to do it anymore. But I made her sit an do it...through her tears.

do you think this is a good idea? and then if she continues to do it...I can take it a step further?? This is my only child so this is a learning experience for me...I just don't know how to keep her from talking in class. Her getting marks on her folder doesn't seem to be helping. Oh..and when they get in trouble in class, they have to move their star (on the magnetic board) from green to yellow, if they have to move it to red, the parents get called. so she has to do this in front of the classroom. so far she has only ever gotten to yellow. but you would think that getting reprimanded in front of her friends would make her want to stop. apparently not! she is really a good kid. never gets in trouble for much of anything...but she is a talker!!! I should have named her Gabby LOL

any advice???

Graleyne · 09-20-2007, 12:43 PM

We had the same problem! I made them write sentences too. It WORKED. The key is to be consistent with it and make her do it - with or without tears.

My oldest daughter would cry and drag it out until it would take her 5 or more HOURS to write 25 - 50 sentences. So then we gave her a set time to have them completely in and for every minute she went over that time that was one more sentence she had to write.

I am not kidding you we sat up until 3am one night until she finished every single sentence. She didn't think I'd make her do it. I think after that she only had to write them one more time and she got them done in the time she was supposed to.

I also take neatness into account. If I can't read it, they have to write it over.

hartygirl · 09-20-2007, 12:51 PM

My suggestion would be to go talk to her teacher and if your daughter gets into trouble have her take away her recess for the day. Recess is the social event of the day for young students, she will still get to talk to her friends during the lunch hour, but missing out on recess will really get her attention. If she is acting up at school she should be punished at school not at home.
just a thought!

pepe mint · 09-20-2007, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hartygirl

My suggestion would be to go talk to her teacher and if your daughter gets into trouble have her take away her recess for the day. Recess is the social event of the day for young students, she will still get to talk to her friends during the lunch hour, but missing out on recess will really get her attention. If she is acting up at school she should be punished at school not at home.
just a thought!

I am planning on talking to the teacher to see what she thinks about this.

I do think she needs to have some discipline at home as well. she needs to know that i will not tolerate bad behavior at school. she knows as soon as she gets in the car that she has to tell me she did something wrong and that she will be told that she is in trouble. so it's not like she forgot what she did and suddenly she is being punished. she understands what is going on.

SevenGirl · 09-20-2007, 01:03 PM

I think the key is finding something that lets the child know you mean business and ultimately stops the bad behavior. You will be able to tell if the punishment works if they stop doing whatever it is you are punishing them for (if she continues to come home week after week and is still talking and still having to write sentences----it's not working). You know what I mean? You have to figure out what works for your child.

I'm was an English teacher before having my girls, so I personally wouldn't do the sentence writing, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't work for someone else. I want my kids to like writing and not view it as a punishment. JMO.

My girls LOVE Hannah Montana (the tv show on Disney Channel). Since they don't get to watch a ton of tv, it is a big deal to them to see the show. I took it away once for bad behavior and it was a big enough disappointment that the problem stopped. Now I can say, if this happens again---you won't watch the new episode........blah, blah, blah. Hopefully you will be able to figure out what works for your daughter.

MIZBROWN · 09-20-2007, 01:04 PM

Dont know exactly what you should do... but whatever it is, you must be consistant. If kids see that you dont enforce the rules/discipline - it will never work... Hope this helps....

Angela · 09-20-2007, 01:05 PM

Mandee I had this problem allllll the way through elementary school w/Christian. He is a talker, still is at 16 ( not in class though ) Anyway, he was a great honor student, teachers loved him he just could not shut up....not everyday, but you know. Anyway, what REALLY helped him was in middle school he took Drama 6-8 grades and I didn't have anymore problems. In Drama they got to get out and use all their " clowness " Maybe you can look into drama for kids until its offered in school for her. Good Luck!

Angie

SevenGirl · 09-20-2007, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pepe mint

I am planning on talking to the teacher to see what she thinks about this.

I do think she needs to have some discipline at home as well. she needs to know that i will not tolerate bad behavior at school. she knows as soon as she gets in the car that she has to tell me she did something wrong and that she will be told that she is in trouble. so it's not like she forgot what she did and suddenly she is being punished. she understands what is going on.

Bingo. I'm with you, Mandee. I think it needs to be dealt with in both places. Then they know that you work together with the teacher. I'll be curious what the teacher says......she sounds like a social butterfly! Gotta love that!

pepe mint · 09-20-2007, 03:16 PM

man...her attitude is killing me today. she is just pissy.

she was fine for a while. but now she is just NOT listening. she is not allowed to play with maggie. she just isn't. she plays too rough and that is just a rule in this house. well...the only exception is that she can play fetch. well, she was playing fetch with the dogs and she decided to act like a dog and start running around on all 4's. well, she ran right over maggie!! now...maggie is recovering from a broken leg where my daughter dropped her (maggie was trying to get out of her arms and the accident just happened). so we are on edge with maggie anyway. well, i heard maggie yelp and told trinity to stop playing with her. the response i get from her is "i'm not playing with her"

A flat out lie.

so i told her that i know she is lying. she THREW the toy across the room and made this snotty little "umph" and so i sent her to her room to sit on her bed.

now, she has just started going to girl scouts and her meeting is supposed to be tonight. i am debating on wether or not she should be going. she is super whiny and just all in all "pissy" (for lack of better word right now)

patty58 · 09-20-2007, 03:18 PM

I had the problem with my daughter and now with one of my granddaughters. I don't believe in taking away recess though and I know that is what a lot of teachers do. These little ones have to release their pent up energy and recess is the only time. My granddaughter is in kindergarten and has gotten her mark moved over to red several times. When asked why she talks she says she has funny stories to tell. Mandee I think your idea of writing sentences is great. Maybe at school she could eat lunch at a table by her self instead of missing recess. good luck

pepe mint · 09-20-2007, 03:20 PM

man...kids are heart breakers.

she wrote a note...and on the back of it it says "i don't like my mommy"

then when i asked her if i could read it, she crossed out "don't" and wrote "do"

what am i going to do with her???

Graleyne · 09-20-2007, 03:27 PM

Well, as far as the note I think she was just expressing her anger. That's OK. That is actually a HEALTHY way to express it.

I understand what you are going through though. I have 3 of those little heartbreakers.

chloeandj · 09-20-2007, 03:38 PM

I had a huge problem with my son when he started 1st grade this year also. I give him a quarter everyday that he doesn't get his name on the board for talking. (A little positive reinforcement) If he does talk, he gets a favorite toy taken away for the night.

The last week of school he had an awful week and I took his playstation away for 3 days in a row and he had a FIT and I hated having to deal with him about it. But you know what? This week, he has been AWESOME!! LOL His teacher said he has been so well behaved this week.

momof4CA · 09-20-2007, 03:40 PM

Someday our children can be a challenge.

How long has she been back to school? She might just be "adjusting" to all the new things that come with a new year? Where is she sitting? Does she need to be moved away from a person or a distration? Did you ask her what see was talking about?

My oldest DD has ADD so I completely understand a gabbby child. Mine talks non-stop from the time she get up in the morning until she goes to bed...literally!

daisy mae06 · 09-20-2007, 03:47 PM

I just Bought the book How to talk to kids so they will listin and listin so they will talk. I have not gotten to far but I am loving it

Sabrina is adhd and we have struggled with her talking in class and other things for a while now. she is in 4th grade. But I have been trying some of the things they tell you in the book and they work

http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-.../dp/0380811960
here it is an amazon.

09-20-2007, 12:39 PM	#1
pepe mint YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Franklin, TN Posts: 11,145	Not sure what to do... My daughter is in 1st grade this year. It seems like at least once a week she gets a mark on her folder that she has been talking in class. I really don't know what to do. I have been trying to think of things I could ground her from but I just can't think of anything. I almost grounded her from gymnastics but we pay a lot of money for that each week and I don't think it would do any good anyway. It would be different if she was in trouble for talking on a day she has gymnastics...then I could see incorporating it into that...but she hasn't. so...today, I made her write "I will not talk in class" 20 times. she was ok with it for the first 9 times but after that she REALLY did not want to do it anymore. But I made her sit an do it...through her tears. do you think this is a good idea? and then if she continues to do it...I can take it a step further?? This is my only child so this is a learning experience for me...I just don't know how to keep her from talking in class. Her getting marks on her folder doesn't seem to be helping. Oh..and when they get in trouble in class, they have to move their star (on the magnetic board) from green to yellow, if they have to move it to red, the parents get called. so she has to do this in front of the classroom. so far she has only ever gotten to yellow. but you would think that getting reprimanded in front of her friends would make her want to stop. apparently not! she is really a good kid. never gets in trouble for much of anything...but she is a talker!!! I should have named her Gabby LOL any advice??? __________________ Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog

09-20-2007, 12:43 PM	#2
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	We had the same problem! I made them write sentences too. It WORKED. The key is to be consistent with it and make her do it - with or without tears. My oldest daughter would cry and drag it out until it would take her 5 or more HOURS to write 25 - 50 sentences. So then we gave her a set time to have them completely in and for every minute she went over that time that was one more sentence she had to write. I am not kidding you we sat up until 3am one night until she finished every single sentence. She didn't think I'd make her do it. I think after that she only had to write them one more time and she got them done in the time she was supposed to. I also take neatness into account. If I can't read it, they have to write it over. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

09-20-2007, 01:03 PM	#5
SevenGirl Bella-My Georgia Girl Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Duluth, Georgia Posts: 2,419	I think the key is finding something that lets the child know you mean business and ultimately stops the bad behavior. You will be able to tell if the punishment works if they stop doing whatever it is you are punishing them for (if she continues to come home week after week and is still talking and still having to write sentences----it's not working). You know what I mean? You have to figure out what works for your child. I'm was an English teacher before having my girls, so I personally wouldn't do the sentence writing, but that doesn't mean it wouldn't work for someone else. I want my kids to like writing and not view it as a punishment. JMO. My girls LOVE Hannah Montana (the tv show on Disney Channel). Since they don't get to watch a ton of tv, it is a big deal to them to see the show. I took it away once for bad behavior and it was a big enough disappointment that the problem stopped. Now I can say, if this happens again---you won't watch the new episode........blah, blah, blah. Hopefully you will be able to figure out what works for your daughter. __________________ Elizabeth and Bella Official Members of the CRAZY Club and the PINK Club! Bella 's dressing up!

09-20-2007, 01:04 PM	#6
MIZBROWN Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: California Posts: 2,293	Dont know exactly what you should do... but whatever it is, you must be consistant. If kids see that you dont enforce the rules/discipline - it will never work... Hope this helps.... __________________ Mommy to Meka "MeMe" Brown aka Meka the Diva Member of the Spoiled Rotten Club & CA Yorkies www.dogster.com/dogs/567943

09-20-2007, 03:16 PM	#9
pepe mint YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Franklin, TN Posts: 11,145	man...her attitude is killing me today. she is just pissy. she was fine for a while. but now she is just NOT listening. she is not allowed to play with maggie. she just isn't. she plays too rough and that is just a rule in this house. well...the only exception is that she can play fetch. well, she was playing fetch with the dogs and she decided to act like a dog and start running around on all 4's. well, she ran right over maggie!! now...maggie is recovering from a broken leg where my daughter dropped her (maggie was trying to get out of her arms and the accident just happened). so we are on edge with maggie anyway. well, i heard maggie yelp and told trinity to stop playing with her. the response i get from her is "i'm not playing with her" A flat out lie. so i told her that i know she is lying. she THREW the toy across the room and made this snotty little "umph" and so i sent her to her room to sit on her bed. now, she has just started going to girl scouts and her meeting is supposed to be tonight. i am debating on wether or not she should be going. she is super whiny and just all in all "pissy" (for lack of better word right now) __________________ Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog

09-20-2007, 12:51 PM	#3
hartygirl megan - g Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: South Texas Posts: 2,324	My suggestion would be to go talk to her teacher and if your daughter gets into trouble have her take away her recess for the day. Recess is the social event of the day for young students, she will still get to talk to her friends during the lunch hour, but missing out on recess will really get her attention. If she is acting up at school she should be punished at school not at home. just a thought!

09-20-2007, 01:05 PM	#7
Angela YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Baton Rouge, LA Posts: 849	Mandee I had this problem allllll the way through elementary school w/Christian. He is a talker, still is at 16 ( not in class though ) Anyway, he was a great honor student, teachers loved him he just could not shut up....not everyday, but you know. Anyway, what REALLY helped him was in middle school he took Drama 6-8 grades and I didn't have anymore problems. In Drama they got to get out and use all their " clowness " Maybe you can look into drama for kids until its offered in school for her. Good Luck! Angie

09-20-2007, 03:18 PM	#10
patty58 Donating YT 5000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: texas Posts: 5,272	I had the problem with my daughter and now with one of my granddaughters. I don't believe in taking away recess though and I know that is what a lot of teachers do. These little ones have to release their pent up energy and recess is the only time. My granddaughter is in kindergarten and has gotten her mark moved over to red several times. When asked why she talks she says she has funny stories to tell. Mandee I think your idea of writing sentences is great. Maybe at school she could eat lunch at a table by her self instead of missing recess. good luck

09-20-2007, 03:20 PM	#11
pepe mint YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Franklin, TN Posts: 11,145	man...kids are heart breakers. she wrote a note...and on the back of it it says "i don't like my mommy" then when i asked her if i could read it, she crossed out "don't" and wrote "do" what am i going to do with her??? __________________ Anyone who does not know what soap tastes like has never washed a dog

09-20-2007, 03:27 PM	#12
Graleyne Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 2,563	Well, as far as the note I think she was just expressing her anger. That's OK. That is actually a HEALTHY way to express it. I understand what you are going through though. I have 3 of those little heartbreakers. __________________ Aerrica, and Norman RIP my sweet Poopanut

09-20-2007, 03:38 PM	#13
chloeandj Tinkerbell, My Little Flutterpup Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Beautiful California! Posts: 6,112	I had a huge problem with my son when he started 1st grade this year also. I give him a quarter everyday that he doesn't get his name on the board for talking. (A little positive reinforcement) If he does talk, he gets a favorite toy taken away for the night. The last week of school he had an awful week and I took his playstation away for 3 days in a row and he had a FIT and I hated having to deal with him about it. But you know what? This week, he has been AWESOME!! LOL His teacher said he has been so well behaved this week.

09-20-2007, 03:40 PM	#14
momof4CA YT Addict Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Bay area, CA Posts: 345	Someday our children can be a challenge. How long has she been back to school? She might just be "adjusting" to all the new things that come with a new year? Where is she sitting? Does she need to be moved away from a person or a distration? Did you ask her what see was talking about? My oldest DD has ADD so I completely understand a gabbby child. Mine talks non-stop from the time she get up in the morning until she goes to bed...literally!

09-20-2007, 03:47 PM	#15
daisy mae06 Kodi & Pixie 2 Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: NEBRASKA Posts: 14,766	I just Bought the book How to talk to kids so they will listin and listin so they will talk. I have not gotten to far but I am loving it Sabrina is adhd and we have struggled with her talking in class and other things for a while now. she is in 4th grade. But I have been trying some of the things they tell you in the book and they work http://www.amazon.com/How-Talk-Kids-.../dp/0380811960 here it is an amazon. __________________ OK Yorkie Rescue - http://okyorkierescue.org LorisCritterSitter.com