My younger sister is a thief! - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Saleswman · 02-14-2007, 07:53 PM

We just went thru the same thing in Dec due to my MIL passing so quickly....one sister in law in particular.......complained when my DH took a few family pics after her passing....when she)his sister, came in and got all the financially beneficial things......like jewelry, tv's etc......and complained when my MIL wanted to live with her after the car accident......

I am so sorry you are dealing with this Connie.....and I thought we were the only ones to deal with family members doing this.......well, just be careful with the estate...and make sure you remain informed on ALL decisions.....

Unfortunately.....people do show their true colors at times like this......and to beat it all they tend to "justify" their actions......

YorkieMom55 · 02-14-2007, 09:21 PM

Connie, my prayers are with you still. I'm so sorry for what's happening with your family. There are alot of people here that support you and care for you. When things get tough, try and remember that, please.

dakotama95 · 02-14-2007, 09:45 PM

Connie,

I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Trust me , there is one in every family. My SIL is accusing us of stealing from her parents and they haven't even passed yet. She has dis-owned my husband, and we even purchased a house in 1998 so that his parents could live with us since their Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers. After 3 years of living here, and several attempts at running away, becoming extremely aggresive and abusive to everyone and almost destroying our house,my Father in law- fell and broke his hip and was wheeelchair bound. Then her twin Sis had a car accident 3 days later and crushed her pelvis and had to be flown to St Louis for surgery. She went with her sis and we stayed here and took care of the parents. Well, according to her, we planned all of this and was just waiting for a chance to place him in a nursing home and get rid of him. (She is an RN, by the way and says that her dad doesn't have alzheimers). This was 6 years ago and I am still taking care of her parents, he is in a nursing home and I take care of her mother who has severe dementia. She never comes to see her mother, who lives in the lower level of our house that we have converted into a 2-bedroom apartment. When they do pass, I am sure there will be big problems. And this is not even half of the saga. Their will states that if anyone contests it that they receive nothing. Time will tell. Please do check the will. I am doing what her parents had told me they wanted. And I know there will come a day when she takes us to court, but I am ready for her because I know I am doing what they requested.

Just know that you were there for your mother and did your best for her and that is what matters most. I pray this works out because I know what a toll this can have on a family.

LuvMySissy · 02-15-2007, 05:12 AM

Connie - I'm so sorry you are going through this with your sister. There is one in every family, I think! My grandmother spent two weeks in the hospital before she passed away. One of my aunts lived with her "to take care of her", which was such a joke. Another aunt who was well-to-do paid this aunt over $40K a year to live with grandma. In reality, all she did was live there. Grandma paid someone else to clean the house, an uncle came over to take out the trash and do laundry, and yet someone else grocery shopped. All this aunt did was plant her fat a$$ in the back bedroom. Grandma still cooked and did everything else, including dishes.

While Grandma was in the hospital, this aunt boxed up everything in the house - all the photos from her lifetime, her wedding rings, several pieces of jewelry and all the clothes she wanted (but would NEVER be able to fit into), so that when Grandma passed and the other siblings (7 in total) came to the house to go through things, there was very little there. The well-to-do aunt had told her she wanted to go through the jewelry and allocate who it went to since she bought it all for her. When that was occurring, the lousy aunt was yelling orders from the living room as to what her kids should get.

The absolute worst part of all this is that the many boxes of things she took just went into her garage, were never opened, and when she moved a few years later and my mom helped her, the boxes were wet and rotted and almost nothing was salvageable. The only reason that any of the siblings have any photos was that my well-to-do aunt asked the witch to let her see the photos and have copies made. Most of this stuff was just stuff, but things that had sentimental value to certain people.

I guess what my book here is trying to say is I think we all know when someone will act like this, but we want to give them the benefit of the doubt and we end up getting screwed!! And we usually end up losing two family members as these feelings don't go away. Remember that these things don't represent your mom and no one can ever take away what you feel for her in your heart.

BlondieGirl87 · 02-15-2007, 09:41 AM

Oh Connie! I am so sorry to hear this! A similar thing happened when my Grandfather died, people just started taking things and going back home...they didn't even attend the funeral, it was awful!

If your mother had a will of any kind, even a "verbal" will, it can be binding and I don't know if you'd want to have to go through the court process but you could get the things back that belonged to you or your other sister.
I could reccomend a good laywer in your area if you are interested. My firm has some people that work out there....let me know if you need anything.

Hugs to you,
Joy

MissLola · 02-15-2007, 10:48 AM

How awful!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so sad that when someone passes away, certain family members are more worried about their possessions than anything.

Rudys Mom · 02-15-2007, 11:49 AM

Connie, I'm just now reading your thread. Almost the same thing happened when my mom passed away. It's so sad that peoples true colors come out in the worst of times.

To make a long story short, my brother and sister-in-law were over at my mom's house several times by themselves and took things out on their own. When we were all there together, my sister-in-law would pack up boxes of mom's stuff and put a towel over the box, so no-one would see what she was taking.

My other sisters and I didn't want to confront my SIL cause of the type of person she is, so we just let it go. At least you and I and our other sisters can feel that our mom's would have been proud of the way we conducted ourselves.
Take Care....

Rudys Mom (Dawn)

Connie · 02-15-2007, 10:57 PM

It is so amazing to me that so many families have gone thru similar type situations. How can people be like that...let greed take over and act like lunatics! Ricka was never there to help when mom had trials and tribulations. She put stress on mom by always being on the outs with someone in the family...she thrives on trouble. I hope and prayed she'd had a change of heart, but she's still the same selfish, greedy person she's always been. We keep thinking of things mom had that are now missing, but the latest will make you all sick. My dad's only brother was killed in WWII and my brother is named after him. Judy called me today to tell me that my brother had called and asked for only one thing from Mom's house and that was the purple heart in honor of our uncle's sacrifice. I told her I hadn't seen it, but would go down and look. Melissa and I looked and looked, though we knew we would have seen it when looking for documents, but we hoped we had just missed it. Ricka has the purple heart plus all of dad's army medals and things are gone. When I called my brother to tell him, he cried. Shame on you, Ricka...you are heartless!

One thing she didn't get was a beautiful table cloth I crocheted for Mom and Dad many years ago. I don't know what made me think of that tablecloth, but something told me to get it the day after Mom died. Judy says it was God telling me to take it before it disappears. I'll take a pic of it some day and show you all.

As for those of you who said it's material things...that is right. I didn't want all of her things. Judy and I planned on giving much of it away to friends and relatives. I have peace in my heart knowing that Judy and I were there for Mom whenever she needed us and with her the last few weeks of her life. One day when I was getting Mom back into her chair after helping her to the bathroom, she said, "Dad would be so proud of you and Judy for what you're doing for me." I told Judy what Mom had said and Judy said, "That's the highest compliment we could get from Mom." I miss Mom so terribly bad...my heart just aches.

Monday · 02-16-2007, 12:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Connie

It is so amazing to me that so many families have gone thru similar type situations.

One day when I was getting Mom back into her chair after helping her to the bathroom, she said, "Dad would be so proud of you and Judy for what you're doing for me." I told Judy what Mom had said and Judy said, "That's the highest compliment we could get from Mom." I miss Mom so terribly bad...my heart just aches.

Only you and Judy shall have that memory (of what your Mom said) to cherish ... that alone is worth a million dollars!
Ricka will never have that memory but you shall.
As others have said, material things do not constitute love --- you are the sweetest!! And your Mom knew it!

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal,
love leaves a memory no one can steal.

baby03 · 02-16-2007, 08:07 PM

Connie I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else you are going through. My mother died 3 years ago and we have the house the way she left it. My 2 older sisters (unmarried) lived with her and cared for her and continue to live in the house. Nothing has been moved! I never even go back there. She is what mattered most in that house and she's gone!

02-14-2007, 07:53 PM	#16
Saleswman Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 1,643	OMG.....we are dealing with the same this, my MIL and SIL We just went thru the same thing in Dec due to my MIL passing so quickly....one sister in law in particular.......complained when my DH took a few family pics after her passing....when she)his sister, came in and got all the financially beneficial things......like jewelry, tv's etc......and complained when my MIL wanted to live with her after the car accident...... I am so sorry you are dealing with this Connie.....and I thought we were the only ones to deal with family members doing this.......well, just be careful with the estate...and make sure you remain informed on ALL decisions..... Unfortunately.....people do show their true colors at times like this......and to beat it all they tend to "justify" their actions......

02-14-2007, 09:21 PM	#17
YorkieMom55 All Dogs Go To Heaven Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: By The Lake Posts: 2,727	Connie, my prayers are with you still. I'm so sorry for what's happening with your family. There are alot of people here that support you and care for you. When things get tough, try and remember that, please. __________________ Jeanie I am @ the Lake Jackson, Maggie, Sunshine, Bailey, Rocky, Emmie & Jack

02-14-2007, 09:45 PM	#18
dakotama95 Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Illinois Posts: 378	Connie, I am so sorry that this is happening to you. Trust me , there is one in every family. My SIL is accusing us of stealing from her parents and they haven't even passed yet. She has dis-owned my husband, and we even purchased a house in 1998 so that his parents could live with us since their Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers. After 3 years of living here, and several attempts at running away, becoming extremely aggresive and abusive to everyone and almost destroying our house,my Father in law- fell and broke his hip and was wheeelchair bound. Then her twin Sis had a car accident 3 days later and crushed her pelvis and had to be flown to St Louis for surgery. She went with her sis and we stayed here and took care of the parents. Well, according to her, we planned all of this and was just waiting for a chance to place him in a nursing home and get rid of him. (She is an RN, by the way and says that her dad doesn't have alzheimers). This was 6 years ago and I am still taking care of her parents, he is in a nursing home and I take care of her mother who has severe dementia. She never comes to see her mother, who lives in the lower level of our house that we have converted into a 2-bedroom apartment. When they do pass, I am sure there will be big problems. And this is not even half of the saga. Their will states that if anyone contests it that they receive nothing. Time will tell. Please do check the will. I am doing what her parents had told me they wanted. And I know there will come a day when she takes us to court, but I am ready for her because I know I am doing what they requested. Just know that you were there for your mother and did your best for her and that is what matters most. I pray this works out because I know what a toll this can have on a family. __________________ Dakota, Gizmo and Rudy's MA:

02-15-2007, 05:12 AM	#19
LuvMySissy Luv my Angel, too! Donating Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: USA Posts: 9,333	Connie - I'm so sorry you are going through this with your sister. There is one in every family, I think! My grandmother spent two weeks in the hospital before she passed away. One of my aunts lived with her "to take care of her", which was such a joke. Another aunt who was well-to-do paid this aunt over $40K a year to live with grandma. In reality, all she did was live there. Grandma paid someone else to clean the house, an uncle came over to take out the trash and do laundry, and yet someone else grocery shopped. All this aunt did was plant her fat a$$ in the back bedroom. Grandma still cooked and did everything else, including dishes. While Grandma was in the hospital, this aunt boxed up everything in the house - all the photos from her lifetime, her wedding rings, several pieces of jewelry and all the clothes she wanted (but would NEVER be able to fit into), so that when Grandma passed and the other siblings (7 in total) came to the house to go through things, there was very little there. The well-to-do aunt had told her she wanted to go through the jewelry and allocate who it went to since she bought it all for her. When that was occurring, the lousy aunt was yelling orders from the living room as to what her kids should get. The absolute worst part of all this is that the many boxes of things she took just went into her garage, were never opened, and when she moved a few years later and my mom helped her, the boxes were wet and rotted and almost nothing was salvageable. The only reason that any of the siblings have any photos was that my well-to-do aunt asked the witch to let her see the photos and have copies made. Most of this stuff was just stuff, but things that had sentimental value to certain people. I guess what my book here is trying to say is I think we all know when someone will act like this, but we want to give them the benefit of the doubt and we end up getting screwed!! And we usually end up losing two family members as these feelings don't go away. Remember that these things don't represent your mom and no one can ever take away what you feel for her in your heart. __________________ Sissy & Angel

02-15-2007, 10:57 PM	#23
Connie Loved by Maddie & Libby Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Dakota Posts: 10,732	It is so amazing to me that so many families have gone thru similar type situations. How can people be like that...let greed take over and act like lunatics! Ricka was never there to help when mom had trials and tribulations. She put stress on mom by always being on the outs with someone in the family...she thrives on trouble. I hope and prayed she'd had a change of heart, but she's still the same selfish, greedy person she's always been. We keep thinking of things mom had that are now missing, but the latest will make you all sick. My dad's only brother was killed in WWII and my brother is named after him. Judy called me today to tell me that my brother had called and asked for only one thing from Mom's house and that was the purple heart in honor of our uncle's sacrifice. I told her I hadn't seen it, but would go down and look. Melissa and I looked and looked, though we knew we would have seen it when looking for documents, but we hoped we had just missed it. Ricka has the purple heart plus all of dad's army medals and things are gone. When I called my brother to tell him, he cried. Shame on you, Ricka...you are heartless! One thing she didn't get was a beautiful table cloth I crocheted for Mom and Dad many years ago. I don't know what made me think of that tablecloth, but something told me to get it the day after Mom died. Judy says it was God telling me to take it before it disappears. I'll take a pic of it some day and show you all. As for those of you who said it's material things...that is right. I didn't want all of her things. Judy and I planned on giving much of it away to friends and relatives. I have peace in my heart knowing that Judy and I were there for Mom whenever she needed us and with her the last few weeks of her life. One day when I was getting Mom back into her chair after helping her to the bathroom, she said, "Dad would be so proud of you and Judy for what you're doing for me." I told Judy what Mom had said and Judy said, "That's the highest compliment we could get from Mom." I miss Mom so terribly bad...my heart just aches. __________________ Custom doggie dresses and vests Memory is a country where I can go to see your face - but where do I go when I miss your embrace?

02-15-2007, 09:41 AM	#20
BlondieGirl87 No Longer A Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: The Big Friendly City :) Posts: 4,236	Oh Connie! I am so sorry to hear this! A similar thing happened when my Grandfather died, people just started taking things and going back home...they didn't even attend the funeral, it was awful! If your mother had a will of any kind, even a "verbal" will, it can be binding and I don't know if you'd want to have to go through the court process but you could get the things back that belonged to you or your other sister. I could reccomend a good laywer in your area if you are interested. My firm has some people that work out there....let me know if you need anything. Hugs to you, Joy

02-15-2007, 10:48 AM	#21
MissLola Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: South Dakota Posts: 340	How awful! I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so sad that when someone passes away, certain family members are more worried about their possessions than anything.

02-15-2007, 11:49 AM	#22
Rudys Mom Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Lancaster, PA Posts: 4,327	Connie, I'm just now reading your thread. Almost the same thing happened when my mom passed away. It's so sad that peoples true colors come out in the worst of times. To make a long story short, my brother and sister-in-law were over at my mom's house several times by themselves and took things out on their own. When we were all there together, my sister-in-law would pack up boxes of mom's stuff and put a towel over the box, so no-one would see what she was taking. My other sisters and I didn't want to confront my SIL cause of the type of person she is, so we just let it go. At least you and I and our other sisters can feel that our mom's would have been proud of the way we conducted ourselves. Take Care.... Rudys Mom (Dawn)

02-16-2007, 08:07 PM	#25
baby03 Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: us Posts: 2,255	Connie I am so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else you are going through. My mother died 3 years ago and we have the house the way she left it. My 2 older sisters (unmarried) lived with her and cared for her and continue to live in the house. Nothing has been moved! I never even go back there. She is what mattered most in that house and she's gone! __________________ Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken.