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01-01-2007, 03:41 PM | #31 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Ca
Posts: 65
| thank you ...My husband is not a mean guy . he does give me whatever i want , but sometime he goes threw a faze or something thinks he wants to be boss..
__________________ kim and gracie: |
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01-01-2007, 03:46 PM | #32 | |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,808
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__________________ Tami | |
01-01-2007, 03:47 PM | #33 | |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
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__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" | |
01-01-2007, 03:50 PM | #34 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Kearny, NJ
Posts: 1,183
| I'm sorry to say this but I don't think those issues should be discussed on the forum (at least this one). It's very easy to start jumping into conclusions and give opinions not knowing the situation (eg saying the Ayorkielover should get a divorce). It's my opinion but it's very easy to type something hotheaded and click Submit before rethinking it, and it can easily hurt feelings and create a bad atmosphere... IMO.
__________________ Izabela ... and Pepper Rest in peace, Kora, you're always in my |
01-01-2007, 03:52 PM | #35 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: kent england
Posts: 1,646
| omg he wants you to lose weight or pay him back for your yorkie? you can sort this out with one word tell him no to both whats he gonna do if you dont lose weight? if you dont pay him back? if you dont breed the dog? NOTHING maybe sulk?
__________________ Facebook group yorkies & small terriers worlwide needing fur-ever homes & deathrow Zac Brandi Suki |
01-01-2007, 03:54 PM | #36 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
| I think your husband is a JERK. I'm sorry honey but I don't see much future in a relationship with this man. He is obviously controlling and psychologically abusive. I'm not sure what you see in him, but I can tell you that he does not see much in you. I'd take my dogs and leave. |
01-01-2007, 03:57 PM | #37 | |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
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01-01-2007, 04:09 PM | #38 | |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
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The reason some people are doubting the reality of this is because, in some peoples lives, it is totally unbelievable that, in todays world, a man would treat his wife like this and the wife would not have already ripped his head off and handed it back to him. I hope the advice and support you get from people on here make you a strong enough person to stand up to this man. I lived 17 years with a psychologically abusive man. He contolled me by putting me down. I finally got up courage to get rid of him and I instantly gained control of my life and self confidence. You would not believe all of the things that I have done since divorcing him, that I never thought I could do. Graduating from college is just one of them. Next time he comes up with one of his asbsurd requests look him straight in the eye, and tell him. "YA In your dreams" | |
01-01-2007, 04:19 PM | #39 | |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
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http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43886 http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=43985 http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=44108 http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=45480
__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" | |
01-01-2007, 04:35 PM | #40 |
I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member | Well, no doubt that your husband is controlling; I think I remember reading on one of your posts that your pretty laid back. It is not unusual for one partner to be more controlling. Older men and men in certain cultures think this is what being a "man" is all about." I'll bet, as you have gotten older, you have become more outspoken, this may or may not sit well with your husband, but people grow and change through the years. I'm not one of those people who believe in breaking up a marriage over something like this, but I do believe in negotiating. Your husband has let you have your way by saying that you don't have to breed your Yorkies. This is a concession on his part. After all, looking it from his point of view, he was hoping to make some money off of all this. To most men, dogs have been breeding for years just fine, and in nature males may often be the bigger stronger dogs. So your husband gave into you and now is asking the same thing 90% of our husbands would ask, if ours were so sensitive or scared! So now it's up to you to decide if you want to accept his request of losing weight. Maybe this is the incentive you need. Even people with eating disorders can lose weight sensibly. You might decide, for example, that the whole family gets a healthy lifestyle plan and that you will need everyone's support in order to lose weight. This involves not buying or making any junk food, healthy eating and exercise. In other words you can accept or reject his counter offer and after hearing he'll be dieting too, he may accept or reject your offer. There may be other things that he really wants rather than you losing weight. I think most experts agree that each party in a marriage should have an allowance, a certain amount of money that is theirs to spend any way they see fit. Even if you don't work outside the home, you contribute immeasurably. The amount of money you two decide on should be equal. You could then pay him back a little each week. I noticed on another thread that you complained (in jest) that your husband never helped you with the Christmas tree. I'm sure he does some things you like. Find these things and praise him every time he does something good, just like you do your dogs! Could your husband being feeling a little unloved too? Now, I'm going to read all those other threads. Nancy |
01-01-2007, 07:55 PM | #41 |
My furkids Donating Member | I can't believe this!! I can not believe some of the responses going out to this person. She has come on hear to vent her issues! I agree...this probably isn't the right place to do it but, what if she only has YT to vent to! She has come here to vent her problems....We don't live in her house and have no idea what she goes through every day...Maybe she is a "troll" as someone here said but, you don't know that! Give this poor girl the benefit of the doubt and give her good advice as in...seeking professional help...It sounds to me like she loves her husband or she wouldn't be staying with him....I believe they BOTH need to seek help..it's very easy for some to sit back and say "kick him to the curb" or "get rid of him"...I was married to a verbally/emotionally abusive alcoholic for 19 yrs before I finally "decided" I'd had enough...only mine was the opposite....people wanted me to stay not leave...they only saw the good side of him but, NOBODY knew what I was living with! Please lets try to convince her to get help... My for what it's worth And to the girl going through this...my heart goes out to you...I really hope you go for professional help..maybe hubby will go and open his eyes.
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01-01-2007, 08:18 PM | #42 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Florida
Posts: 78
| PLEASE READ: I cant beleive what your husband is doing to you. I can only imagine what is going on in your head. You probably feeling like sh!t right about now. This is not right, and i am sorry that you have to put up with his sh!t. It seems ever since he bought you a yorkie, you owe him your life. It is very easy for someone to tell you to "get a divorce" or to "kick him to the curb" , but actually doing it is harder. Some people are not strong enough to do it. I dont know if you are one of the strong ones. I think you should save up some money on the side and slowly try to pay him back. And while you are doing this, maybe you need to suggest a break. Perhaps you can spend a week at your moms house. Or even at a good friends house. The time apart will hurt, but if this is the type of husband he has turned out to be, then you might decide that the time apart may need to be MORE PERMANENT. ( <-- if you knwo what i mean...)This is not healthy, and this is NOT what love is suppose to be about. You probably feel self concious when you are near him, i cant imagine how this is afecting your love life. YOU CAN PRIVATE MESSAGE ME IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. |
01-01-2007, 08:27 PM | #43 |
and Hopeys Mom Too Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 4,109
| I have no comment except to say that I hope things turn out well for you! Hold your head up and be PROUD of yourself!
__________________ Donna's little herd.... Tooties Dogster http://www.dogster.com/?271687 Hopeys Dogster http://www.dogster.com/?448723 and Tinker, TBone(RIP) Laci .. OH, and Me-Kitty(RIP) |
01-02-2007, 06:56 PM | #44 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,643
| Ok...how about this.... oh heck...forget it.....it was a nasty thing to say........and it is not my place.... But, he is a real a-- if you ask me.... |
01-02-2007, 07:12 PM | #45 |
Owned by 3 furbabies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Reading, Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,546
| I wish you luck with this, I hear this kinda thing alot lately...it is unreal... this is what i would do.....while paying him back a little at a time, everything you do for him, give with a bill of what he owes....like laundry, dinner, breakfast, lunch, baking, cleaning, washing windows..ironing etc..... or give him a paper with the cost of your puppy and as you do things for him deduct what you think it is worth....and each time give him the copy of it .. and ummm if it was me..i would be sleeping on the sofa unless he wanted to pay for lovin, lol oh i can be a bi#$^ if need be. again, I wish you luck with him......
__________________ Elaine, mom to 2 Yorkies Peanut & Dixie |
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