Well, no doubt that your husband is controlling; I think I remember reading on one of your posts that your pretty laid back. It is not unusual for one partner to be more controlling. Older men and men in certain cultures think this is what being a "man" is all about." I'll bet, as you have gotten older, you have become more outspoken, this may or may not sit well with your husband, but people grow and change through the years.
I'm not one of those people who believe in breaking up a marriage over something like this, but I do believe in negotiating. Your husband has let you have your way by saying that you don't have to breed your Yorkies. This is a concession on his part. After all, looking it from his point of view, he was hoping to make some money off of all this. To most men, dogs have been breeding for years just fine, and in nature males may often be the bigger stronger dogs. So your husband gave into you and now is asking the same thing 90% of our husbands would ask, if ours were so sensitive or scared! So now it's up to you to decide if you want to accept his request of losing weight. Maybe this is the incentive you need. Even people with eating disorders can lose weight sensibly. You might decide, for example, that the whole family gets a healthy lifestyle plan and that you will need everyone's support in order to lose weight. This involves not buying or making any junk food, healthy eating and exercise. In other words you can accept or reject his counter offer and after hearing he'll be dieting too, he may accept or reject your offer. There may be other things that he really wants rather than you losing weight.
I think most experts agree that each party in a marriage should have an allowance, a certain amount of money that is theirs to spend any way they see fit. Even if you don't work outside the home, you contribute immeasurably. The amount of money you two decide on should be equal. You could then pay him back a little each week.
I noticed on another thread that you complained (in jest) that your husband never helped you with the Christmas tree. I'm sure he does some things you like. Find these things and praise him every time he does something good, just like you do your dogs! Could your husband being feeling a little unloved too?
Now, I'm going to read all those other threads.
Nancy |