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11-20-2006, 07:29 PM | #16 |
Little Bit & Buttons Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: US
Posts: 2,160
| I think you should not hesitate at all to have the father pay child support. In my mind, you owe it to your child to do all within your power to provide the best life you can for him. I know a young lady who found herself in your situation but felt like she did not want to force him to participate. She has an independent spirit that says, we don't need him, we can make it on our own Her attorney persuaded her to be sure that she collected the child support and if she did not want or need to use it to put it in a custodial savings account for her child. This money can be used whenever she decides. She can use it for normal day to day expenses or she can save it for needs that may arise such as health issues or items like braces. If she still doesn't need it when the child becomes college age, those expenses will be taken care of. If her child decides he wants to go to medical school, that money will be there. Few of us married or not, actually have the funds to provide that type of financial security. He told her that her child was legally entitled to that support and he didn't feel like she had the right to deprive him of it. Just another thought. |
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11-21-2006, 01:46 AM | #17 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: North eastern Illinois Suburbs
Posts: 1,669
| doortego- That makes sense, and my thoughts have gone there...it just doens't "feel" appropriate, but naturally I would do what I thought was right. And what you've said makes sense and is most likely what I'd do. Also, do you think that since I want what's best for this child, that that might be to give it to a home *more* prepared than myself? Or just because I'm not more prepared doesn't mean that a home that is would be better and that I shouldn't try to raise the child myself?? Thanks for everyone's input! It's really helping me to not stress out as much as I would otherwise. |
11-21-2006, 03:50 PM | #18 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Fredonia, KS
Posts: 755
| Through the Assembly of God church, there is a program for girls in situations like yours. Once you get to their facilities everything is paid for, the delivery and etc. They work with girls who want to let their babies be adopted or who want to keep their babies. They also get to chose who adopts their baby. I went and toured their facilities when it was located in Kansas City. They have recently moved. It's a very good program and you may want to check into it. I'll be praying. http://agfamilyservices.org/componen...page/Itemid,1/ I, too, was pregnant at an early age. I had just turned 17, but I was very fortunate that the baby's father married me. We've been married for 32 years and have 4 children in all.
__________________ Diana and Reuger Take time to laugh. It is the music of the soul. |
11-21-2006, 03:51 PM | #19 |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Fredonia, KS
Posts: 755
| OOPS!! I double posted. Sorry!!!!
__________________ Diana and Reuger Take time to laugh. It is the music of the soul. |
11-21-2006, 05:28 PM | #20 | |
Little Bit & Buttons Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: US
Posts: 2,160
| Quote:
Have you ever considered how you would feel 5 yrs from now, 20 yrs from now if you let the baby go? I suspect that you would be distraught, totally heartbroken. Also, what about this extended family of yours, how will your mother be, wondering what ever happened to her first grandchild? I was never in your situation or your mom's, but I have to think that if my daughter were going to give up one of my grandchildren, I would do all in my power to adopt it myself. Of course, that may be selfish, and talk is cheap -since I've not been in that situation. No one can make this decision for you because no one else really has all the facts but for some reason, God has entrusted this life to you. I believe that other than your salvation, a child is the greatest gift God can give us. It may feel like an accident and I know it wasn't planned but at any time God could have stopped this process had He so desired. At the risk of being pushy, I do feel like you need to find (if you don't already have) a supportive church family. There are so many resources available to the Christian parent, single or otherwise, and a church family can be so much help in raising your children if they do not have a strong father figure in their lives. I'm sure that right now you would like to know what the future holds but God doesn't see fit to share that with us. The fact that you are single now certainly doesn't mean you always will be. There are so many factors that we are not in control of but God is and He will make a way for His children. You really haven't said how you feel about this baby's father. If you love him, I wouldn't give up on him. He may be scared, insecure and/or immature but he will mature at some point. I just don't know the answers and don't want to be in the position of mouthing platitudes at you. Only God knows what is best and He will tell you in His time if you are earnestly seeking Him. God bless you and your family. | |
11-21-2006, 10:38 PM | #21 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: North eastern Illinois Suburbs
Posts: 1,669
| DianaB, Thank You, but just to clarify, I'm not a teenager having a child. I'm 25, certainly no longer a child. However, thank you for the link and advice. |
11-28-2006, 08:44 PM | #22 | |
Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Fredonia, KS
Posts: 755
| Quote:
I was pregnant when I was in high school and married my baby's father. We've now been married for 32 years. At first when everyone found out it was really hard for me. As time goes on people forget. Just remember that what you're going through now will be a memory tomorrow.
__________________ Diana and Reuger Take time to laugh. It is the music of the soul. | |
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