i need advice from all you ladies out there - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

gypsyqueen · 10-20-2006, 08:12 PM

Ask him when is the wedding if he chokes up kick him to the curb if you cant talk you dont have anything in the long run

Shadow · 10-20-2006, 09:29 PM

Give him more space then he wants

Start taking care of yourself and let him do the same. He will come around.

Miss_Sara · 10-20-2006, 11:35 PM

I haven't read what anyone else said
but be careful
you NEVER know what he has planned
so don't jump to conclusions

if it REALLY starts to upset you, then just ask him simply, "are you planning on marrying me"
if he freaks out, he'll get over it, just don't get in a fight with him about it, your relationship is fine.

and yes, you're making it too comfortable for him, if you ask me

but you are REALLY lucky to find someone with the same beliefs as you and such, that is very difficult to find!

tumblnstar · 10-23-2006, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by irishawk

Don't worry about posting your personal problems here - many of us have done it at one point!

Now, onto your problem.. if you don't mind my asking, how old are the two of you? I wouldn't come right out and say that you're ready to get married. Start talking to him about the IDEA of marriage and what his thoughts on it are. Ask him how he's always pictured it playing out in his life and how long he thinks is an appropriate time to be dating first. In these situations I think communication is key. Best of luck to you!

im 21 and he's 28. although i feel as if im 41. ive been on my own since i was 16.. so im not afraid to be alone and im not afraid to not have a man (heaven know's that i wouldnt be where i am with having one for all those younger years

but the funny thing is... is he talks about marriage all the time... its just never including me in it. he's not a good decision maker in any situation in life.. he likes to go to every store and compare every aspect.. so he usually depends on me to give him advice on everything... i just dont want to scare him by saying... hunny im ready to think about getting married... not tomorrow!...just ready to work towards a goal.... i just dont know why guys have to be so difficult to talk to about this!

tumblnstar · 10-23-2006, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BLowry

Hi there! First I would like to let you know that YT has a sister forum 4WomanTalk... it is just getting off the ground so there aren't as many members as YT...I'm not sure but, I think most of the members on WT are on YT as well...you may want to post this there...you may get more responses.

Well...MO...you just finally got him to say those 3 words...I wouldn't push for more at this time...Maybe you could talk to him about moving in together...Honestly, I wouldn't want to open a joint account with anyone...this could be a bad move on both your parts..

I hope everything works out for you..Hang in there!! Good things come to those who wait!

i like the sound of the 4womentalk... its always good to talk to people about your problems and unfortunately its easier to talk to people that you dont see face to face sometimes... does anyone know the website?

chachi · 10-23-2006, 01:22 PM

Here is a post about the site http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51691

IluvLucy · 10-23-2006, 04:11 PM

My husband and I dated 7 years before we married. He had never been married and I had just come out of 8 years of hell in a really bad marriage. We enjoyed the same things, maintained separate households, got engaged at 5 years and were married at 7 years. We were married 13 WONDERFUL years before he died. The 7 years just cemented everything we had together.

We both knew we would get married eventually, but we also communicated that fact to each other. It was just a matter of when BOTH of us were ready. I think you need to bring it up and test the waters. You're too young to tie yourself down to someone who may NEVER want to be married at all.

Monday · 10-23-2006, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tumblnstar

he talks about marriage all the time... its just never including me in it. he's not a good decision maker in any situation in life.. he likes to go to every store and compare every aspect.. so he usually depends on me to give him advice on everything... i just dont want to scare him by saying... hunny im ready to think about getting married...

I hate to be the 'bubble buster' here, but didn't your Mom ever tell you the expression "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? Not only are you 'giving him the milk' ... you are being drained of your time ... you are only 21....
You are doing everything for him .... You are supposed to be going out, having fun, raising the roof and being very careful about whom you marry.
IMHO, you see him as "security" since you mentioned you have been on your own since you were 16 <????> so you have been with him since you were 19? Could you pick out your wedding gown in 19 minutes? No, you would need more time and that is what I suggest here.
Don't be so available to him, make g'friends your own age, go out with them, show him hez not your "where all and end all" ...
He may see you as someone "needy" and figures you will be there when and if he makes up his mind. (and it seems you may have to make THAT decision for him also, if he can't pick an item from a store.)

I don't mean to be harsh, but does the expression "stringing you along" mean anything to you?

Of course, only you can make this life altering decision .... I know what a good marriage is, I have had 2 ... both men passed away younger than it should have been ..and I waited more than 12 years to find my 2nd Prince Charming! .. Now that I have had filet mignon, I can't settle for hamburger!

10-20-2006, 08:12 PM	#16
gypsyqueen Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Las Vegas. Posts: 955	Be Honest Ask him when is the wedding if he chokes up kick him to the curb if you cant talk you dont have anything in the long run

10-23-2006, 01:22 PM	#21
chachi I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana Posts: 37,147	Here is a post about the site http://www.yorkietalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=51691 __________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431 Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427

10-23-2006, 04:11 PM	#22
IluvLucy Lovin' Lucy & Rebel Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Georgia Posts: 4,438	My husband and I dated 7 years before we married. He had never been married and I had just come out of 8 years of hell in a really bad marriage. We enjoyed the same things, maintained separate households, got engaged at 5 years and were married at 7 years. We were married 13 WONDERFUL years before he died. The 7 years just cemented everything we had together. We both knew we would get married eventually, but we also communicated that fact to each other. It was just a matter of when BOTH of us were ready. I think you need to bring it up and test the waters. You're too young to tie yourself down to someone who may NEVER want to be married at all. __________________ Kim , Rebel ,and baby Dixie RIP my sweet Lucy

10-20-2006, 09:29 PM	#17
Shadow No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: California Posts: 5,368	Give him more space then he wants Start taking care of yourself and let him do the same. He will come around.

10-20-2006, 11:35 PM	#18
Miss_Sara And Tila, too! Donating Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Cali Posts: 620	I haven't read what anyone else said but be careful you NEVER know what he has planned so don't jump to conclusions if it REALLY starts to upset you, then just ask him simply, "are you planning on marrying me" if he freaks out, he'll get over it, just don't get in a fight with him about it, your relationship is fine. and yes, you're making it too comfortable for him, if you ask me but you are REALLY lucky to find someone with the same beliefs as you and such, that is very difficult to find!