YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community


Welcome to the YorkieTalk.com Forums Community - the community for Yorkshire Terriers.

You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. You will be able to chat with over 35,000 YorkieTalk members, read over 2,000,000 posted discussions, and view more than 15,000 Yorkie photos in the YorkieTalk Photo Gallery after you register. We would love to have you as a member!

Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today!

If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please click here to contact us.

Go Back   YorkieTalk.com Forums - Yorkshire Terrier Community > All Else > Off Topic Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Calendar JavaChat Mark Forums Read

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 01-19-2006, 10:50 AM   #1
and Ty too!
Donating Member
 
DaisyMaesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Denver, Nope, not Colorado
Posts: 1,235
Default I feel like I'm beating a dead horse.

Sorry to do this to you all again, but my ex is giving me a hard time about moving with my son and I have come up with a lot of solutions, all that he has turned down. I want you to read this letter that I am going to send him and let me know what you think.. Thanks!!



As per our conversation last night, January 18, 2006, wherein I called you concerning my upcoming move to Concord, North Carolina; please understand that I am trying to work amicably with you toward a solution to keep Danny out of court and to continue your relationship with him. My first suggestion was that I would agree to Danny spending four weeks with you during the summer, a week at Christmas Break, and alternating Thanksgivings and Spring Breaks, and I would agree to pay half of the airfare. However, you disagreed with this arrangement, and stated that you could not go “months” without seeing your son. I completely understood your point, so after giving the matter further consideration, I thought that since you were now willing to pay for private school to keep him here (which you did NOT agree to for his middle school education 2 years ago), perhaps rather than pay for private school, you could purchase a plane ticket each month to have him come down and stay with you for any weekend of your choosing. This would enable you to see him every month and still on the extended holiday visits. However, once again, you said no to this arrangement, citing that you don’t want him in North Carolina, because you “couldn’t see him if he got sick or something”. You also said that he was too young to get on a plane by himself at 13, and that if and when I move you will pick him up on your visitations, and not put him on a plane. However, I have researched this issue, and, for an additional small fee, children from the age of 5 and up can fly unattended, and the flight attendant will personally care for him throughout his travel, from one parent to the other.

Henry, I do not want to go to court, primarily because Danny is opposed to being put in front of the judge and having to talk. I am also trying to save both of us the cost of attorney's fees and possible court fees, but you are leaving me no options. As you can see, I have bent over backwards trying to come up with a solution that we can both agree to, that is in the best interest of Danny, but you seem to keep adding road blocks each time I talk to you regarding issues that were never mentioned before (as if you are making up excuses, rather than dealing with the facts). At this point, it truly feels as if you have turned this matter into a personal attack on me.






Page 2 of 2
1/19/06



I need you to take into consideration that my family can no longer afford to live here. My husband has gotten an offer for employment, which would raise our annual income by approximately $5,000.00, and due to the cost of living and public v. private school issue, our living expenses would be drastically reduced. I would no longer need to put all 3 of my children in private schools. Additionally, I have done extensive research into the crime rate and each area’s schools, and the schooling far exceeds the education that he would receive here. The crime index and registered sexual offenders statistics are much higher in Homestead than in Concord, North Carolina, and where Homestead’s crime index is 3 times higher than the national average, Concord’s crime index is below the national average.

Please understand that I am willing to listen to any suggestions that you might have to help us resolve this matter without having to go to court. Please let me know if you want to talk.

Regards,

Lynn


cc: Roberta Fox, Esq. (via facsimile)
DaisyMaesMom is offline   Reply With Quote
Welcome Guest!
Not Registered?

Join today and remove this ad!

Old 01-19-2006, 10:55 AM   #2
Mommy To 3 Poochies
Donating Member
 
JCarlson2004's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: New York
Posts: 8,287
Default

Very good letter. It's well thought out and well written. I would mail the letter via certified mail w/ a return receipt.
__________________
Mommy Loves Codie, Tia & Baby Cali
RIP My Precious Katie - I Love You
JCarlson2004 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 10:56 AM   #3
Donating YT 500 Club Member
 
Rockster's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 1,279
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by JCarlson2004
Very good letter. It's well thought out and well written. I would mail the letter via certified mail w/ a return receipt.
I agree!!! Good Luck!!!
Rockster's Mom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 11:15 AM   #4
Donating YT 500 Club Member
 
cchu's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 1,485
Default

It is very well written!! Good luck with everything! Custody battles are the worst!! I hope you can work something out.
__________________
Christine and Zoe
www.dogster.com/?269135
Yes guys...Zoe is a BOY!! He finally forgave me.
cchu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 11:51 AM   #5
Yorkie Yakker
 
lisakurth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: indiana
Posts: 72
Default Sorry to reply when I don't really know the situation...

But is he a bad dad? It's so sad. My son is 5 and if I moved him away from his dad I think it would just devistate him. Like I said I don't know the situation. Sorry your son is going through this.

Lisa
lisakurth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 12:14 PM   #6
Donating YT 3000 Club Member
 
teri88's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: NJ
Posts: 4,021
Default

Wow, this is so hard for you. When my best friend got divorced she ended up moving back home from NJ to Utah. Her ex was not happy, but he got over it and learned to adjust. He even eventually moved to Utah! I hope you can work this out. You have to do what is best for your whole family. Best of luck.
__________________
Teri Owned by and completely devoted to Tucker... Maddie, we will always love you
Bandit, you are always in my heart
Proud Member SSLS
teri88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 12:32 PM   #7
Donating YT 3000 Club Member
 
Yorkieluv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,178
Default

Lynn, I know how hard this must be...Trust me, I have been through this myself, but not from your point-of-view. My parents got divorced when I was 10, and at the age of 12 my mom decided that it was time for us to move closer to the rest of our family. I was really sad because I didn't want to leave my dad or all of my friends that I had grown up with, but I supported my mom because I knew it would be best and that we would be surrounded with family. I visited my dad 3 times a yr (he paid for the plane tickets)...1 week for Christmas, 1 week for spring break, and 1 month in the summer. It worked out great for us, and I'm actually very glad that we moved because I got to go to better schools and I got to accomplish a lot of goals in middle school and high school that I couldn't have done in the small town that we lived. Flying was not that big of a deal at all! I was completely used to it, and there was always a flight attendant there with me...Also, most of the time, I got to fly first class if there were seats available up there. A 13 yr old kid flying by himself is not a big deal, esp. if the flight attendant is with you. Besides missing my dad, moving was actually one of the best things that could've happened to me.
__________________
Miko 's his Mommy
Yorkieluv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 12:37 PM   #8
Donating YT 10K Club Member
 
bchgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: at da beach
Posts: 15,444
Blog Entries: 2
Default

It's a well written letter, but if I were you, I'd be contacting an attorney.

As a mother, I'd fight tooth and nail to prevent my child from moving several states away, so I understand his position. That does not mean I'm against your decision to move....I just understand his.
__________________
Deb, Reese, Reggie, Frazier, Libby, Sidney, & Bodie
Trace & Ramsey who watch over us
www.biewersbythebay.com
bchgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 01:13 PM   #9
Donating YT 3000 Club Member
 
Yorkieluv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,178
Default

All states are different I think, but in many places if the child is over the age of 12, he/she can decide which parent to live with. It's really sad that he won't be with his dad anymore, and he's going to miss him a lot. I know you're just trying to better your son's quality of life. This is a really hard thing to go through.
__________________
Miko 's his Mommy
Yorkieluv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 01:18 PM   #10
Yorkie Yakker
 
lisakurth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: indiana
Posts: 72
Default

I wonder if she'd move if he wanted to live with his dad? Just a thought.
lisakurth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 01:35 PM   #11
YT 500 Club Member
 
i_love_my_yorki's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 705
Unlove

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yorkieluv
All states are different I think, but in many places if the child is over the age of 12, he/she can decide which parent to live with. It's really sad that he won't be with his dad anymore, and he's going to miss him a lot. I know you're just trying to better your son's quality of life. This is a really hard thing to go through.
Thats true every state is different here in Canada you cannot move too far...

I hope it works out for all concerned here...
i_love_my_yorki is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 01:40 PM   #12
Donating YT 10K Club Member
 
bchgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: at da beach
Posts: 15,444
Blog Entries: 2
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by i_love_my_yorki
Thats true every state is different here in Canada you cannot move too far...

I hope it works out for all concerned here...
Works that way in the states too sometimes. I personally know someone in the military who had orders to re-locate. The father fought her to prevent her from taking the child with her. The child was 5 at the time. The court sided with the father....she moved, the kid stayed. That's why I said...talk to an attorney pronto.
__________________
Deb, Reese, Reggie, Frazier, Libby, Sidney, & Bodie
Trace & Ramsey who watch over us
www.biewersbythebay.com
bchgirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 01:48 PM   #13
Donating YT 3000 Club Member
 
Yorkieluv's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: USA
Posts: 7,178
Default

Remember to consider the father's feelings about this also...It's going to be really hard for him too, not just your son....I guess I can just see both sides...Good luck and I hope everything works out for everyone.
__________________
Miko 's his Mommy
Yorkieluv is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 01:49 PM   #14
Yorkie Talker
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NV
Posts: 10
Default

I wish you all the luck. I was in a similar situation 16 yrs ago. It is hard on the kids to be separated from their father, especially a boy. But you have your life with your present husband to think about. I hope your can convince your ex to agree to fly your son to visit him monthly, but can he afford it? Sorry I don't know the whole story either.
Most of the time divorce is all about 'power struggles' until the children are 18 yrs. old. That is how I see your situation and your son is going to pay the price until he is older.
At this point in my life, after divorce 16 yrs. ago, my son is now 29 yrs. old and lives near his dad and I live 1700 miles away. It is VERY hard, but he made his own choice as soon as he was old enough to do so. Have you considered that? What if he moved back to Dad's area after high school? He has that right.
Deja Blue is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-19-2006, 01:55 PM   #15
Just me 'n my boys
Donating Member
 
Tiggerwit's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Murphy, TX
Posts: 4,596
Default

I would definately contact an attorney, but only because I work for one and I've seen these things blow up so many times. I'm not sure how things work where you are but in Snohomish County here in WA you have to file a notice of intent to relocate with the court and give the other party so many days notice in case they protest it. A lot of people don't know that and move then have to fight it out in court because they violated the paperwork and are in contempt. Please note that I am not an attorney and by all means am not handing out legal advice, just advice as a mother. Here children don't appear before the judge, normally there is a GAL (Guardian ad Litem) appointed on behalf of the child to make the recommendations that are in the best interest of the child.

It would definately be worth the money to contact your attorney for advice on how to proceed with this, especially if he's going to give you a bad time.

Best of luck.
Tiggerwit is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




Google
 

SHOP NOW: Amazon :: eBay :: Buy.com :: Newegg :: PetStore :: Petco :: PetSmart


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:02 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Copyright ©2003 - 2018 YorkieTalk.com
Privacy Policy - Terms of Use

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360 361 362 363 364 365 366 367 368 369 370 371 372 373 374 375 376 377 378 379 380 381 382 383 384 385 386 387 388 389 390 391 392 393 394 395 396 397 398 399 400 401 402 403 404 405 406 407 408 409 410 411 412 413 414 415 416 417 418 419 420 421 422 423 424 425 426 427 428 429 430 431 432 433 434 435 436 437 438 439 440 441 442 443 444 445 446 447 448 449 450 451 452 453 454 455 456 457 458 459 460 461 462 463 464 465 466 467 468 469 470 471 472 473 474 475 476 477 478 479 480 481 482 483 484 485 486 487 488 489 490 491 492 493 494 495 496 497 498 499 500 501 502 503 504 505 506 507 508 509 510 511 512 513 514 515 516 517 518 519 520 521 522 523 524 525 526 527 528 529 530 531 532 533 534 535 536 537 538 539 540 541 542 543 544 545 546 547 548 549 550 551 552 553 554 555 556 557 558 559 560 561 562 563 564 565 566 567 568 569 570 571 572 573 574 575 576 577 578 579 580 581 582 583 584 585 586 587 588 589 590 591 592 593 594 595 596 597 598 599 600 601 602 603 604 605 606 607 608 609 610 611 612 613 614 615 616 617 618 619 620 621 622 623 624 625 626 627 628 629 630 631 632 633 634 635 636 637 638 639 640 641 642 643 644 645 646 647 648 649 650 651 652 653 654 655 656 657 658 659 660 661 662 663 664 665 666 667 668 669 670 671 672 673 674 675 676 677 678 679 680 681 682 683 684 685 686 687 688 689 690 691 692 693 694 695 696 697 698 699 700 701 702 703 704 705 706 707 708 709 710 711 712 713 714 715 716 717 718 719 720 721 722 723 724 725 726 727 728 729 730 731 732 733 734 735 736 737 738 739 740 741 742 743 744 745 746 747 748 749 750 751 752 753 754 755 756 757 758 759 760 761 762 763 764 765 766 767 768 769 770 771 772 773 774 775 776 777 778 779 780 781 782 783 784 785 786 787 788 789 790 791 792 793 794 795 796 797 798 799 800 801 802 803 804 805 806 807 808 809 810 811 812 813 814 815 816 817 818 819 820 821 822 823 824 825 826 827 828 829 830 831 832 833 834 835 836 837 838 839 840 841 842 843 844 845 846 847 848 849 850 851 852 853 854 855 856 857 858 859 860 861 862 863 864 865 866 867 868 869 870 871 872 873 874 875 876 877 878 879 880 881 882 883 884 885 886 887 888 889 890 891 892 893 894 895 896 897 898 899 900 901 902 903 904 905 906 907 908 909 910 911 912 913 914 915 916 917 918 919 920 921 922 923 924 925 926 927 928 929 930 931 932 933 934 935 936 937 938 939 940 941 942 943 944 945 946 947 948 949 950 951 952 953 954 955 956 957 958 959 960 961 962 963 964 965 966 967 968 969 970 971 972 973 974 975 976 977 978 979 980 981 982 983 984 985 986 987 988 989 990 991 992 993 994 995 996 997 998 999 1000 1001 1002 1003 1004 1005 1006 1007 1008 1009 1010 1011 1012 1013 1014 1015 1016 1017 1018 1019 1020 1021 1022 1023 1024 1025 1026 1027 1028 1029 1030 1031 1032 1033 1034 1035 1036 1037 1038 1039 1040 1041 1042 1043 1044 1045 1046 1047 1048 1049 1050 1051 1052 1053 1054 1055 1056 1057 1058 1059 1060 1061 1062 1063 1064 1065 1066 1067 1068 1069 1070 1071 1072 1073 1074 1075 1076 1077 1078 1079 1080 1081 1082 1083 1084 1085 1086 1087 1088 1089 1090 1091 1092 1093 1094 1095 1096 1097 1098 1099 1100 1101 1102 1103 1104 1105 1106 1107 1108 1109 1110 1111 1112 1113 1114 1115 1116 1117 1118 1119 1120 1121 1122 1123 1124 1125 1126 1127 1128 1129 1130 1131 1132 1133 1134 1135 1136 1137 1138 1139 1140 1141 1142 1143 1144 1145 1146 1147 1148 1149 1150 1151 1152 1153 1154 1155 1156 1157 1158 1159 1160 1161 1162 1163 1164 1165 1166 1167