How do you/did you know you were ready for children? - Page 2 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

DvlshAngel985 · 11-14-2010, 10:39 AM

What an interesting thread. I'm 25, not married, and as depressing as this may sound, I think I'm never going to get there. I would love nothing more than to start planning a life with my current bf. My biggest secret is that I'd love to have kids. I want 3, and I already have the perfect name for a boy. Everyone at home thinks I am anti-children, so much so that my mom says if I keep saying I don't want kids, I'll end up with a dozen of them!

But shh... it's a secret.

kdhawks · 11-14-2010, 04:32 PM

This is so interesting to me as well. I am also 22, have been dating the same guy for almost 3 years, but personally am not ready for any kind of big commitments. My best friend is getting married over the summer to someone she has been seeing significantly less time than I have been with my boyfriend. Yet she feels ready and she probably is. I, on the other hand, am still entirely selfish. I have a ton of things I want to accomplish independently, and don't want to get married or have kids until I am done with the selfish phase.

I really do think you just *know* when you are ready for these kinds of big decisions. There is nothing like a gut feeling. Only you and your DH will know when you are ready.

TwoforFun · 11-14-2010, 04:38 PM

My first child was born when I was 17 and even if I was very young I don't regret it. When you have your child in your arms everything else doesn't matter.

You still have a few years to think about it but don't think to much because the years will fly.

motomomma317 · 11-14-2010, 04:53 PM

Im about to turn 34 this month and I have a 13 year old son. We didn't plan on having kids so early but we were happy none the less. Why we are by no means rich we have voted that I be a stay at home mom. My son is very active and has a lot on his plate a lot of the time. Even from his young age till now he was always active and our main focus was on him. We did opt to have only one child due to the fact that early on my husband was active duty military and it was tuff to handle a job and a child alone while he was gone for several months at a time. It has gotten to be a bit easier now that he's out of the military and at a normal job m-f 9-5. But I will be totally honest with you, you will give up things in life you never expected to. I gladly give up things I don't need in order to give my son the things he loves. There is no greater love then the love you have for a child. I will admit its not always smooth but on those days that they reach out and hug you and tell you that your the best mommy in the world it wipes out all the dirty diapers you changed. Even better is when your teenage child hugs you in front of his friends and tells you how awesome you are and his friends laugh at him. (its a big deal trust me)
As for your husband allow him to be fully ready too. Pressuring him to have kids to early could hamper your marriage in the long run. He may not give you as much support if he's not ready. Trust me having a husband to pick up one Sat. morning breakfast per month is a god send.
Make a list of the top 10 things you want to do before you have kids and have him do the same. Then spend the next year trying to cross as many of those things of the list as you can. It will not only grow the bond between you but tackling the things that may arise in order to do those things may prepare you to work as a team in unfamilure situations.
As a side note, I think its very imp for you to prepare your body for having a baby. Eating well taking vitamins and having a full medical work up as well as a chat with your OBGYN. Allowing yourself a head start is a huge plus.

joann1166 · 11-16-2010, 07:19 AM

I was 30 when I had my son (No I was not expecting to be pregnant). I can't say I was ready but it happened and i am glad it did. I know now I would not have been ready to have a child younger than that. I had already sowed my oats and got partying out of my life when I had him. This I am thankful for because it is a huge financial responsibility and personal sacrifice. I would definitely do it again if I could....I can't now so he is an only child. He is 14 now (oops..just told you my age) and I have watched him grow into a young man. It breaks my heart to know he will graduate high school in 3 years and I'll be all alone again but then I can look forward to grand kids in the future.

What I'm trying to say is make sure your ready. Don't second guess yourself... children are like our furbabies...they need alot of attention prolly even more than our furbabies.

Rachael x · 11-16-2010, 09:19 AM

Im 19 and have been with my BF for over 5 years.
A lot of my friends have children even though I think we are too young.
Im quite old fashioned and would like to get married before having children, but it still dosnt stop the feelings.
I used to dream about how our baby would look, I had names picked out in my head and would look at baby clothes and cribs online.
Its not that I wanted a baby NOW it was just that I was really looking forward to the time when we would have a child.
The one thing that stopped me in my tracks? getting Poppy.
Even the short time when I had sleepless nights with her and the huge responsiblity that having a puppy brings has shown me Im not ready for kids.
You are still really young, you have plenty of time for babies.
You should write a list of all the things you want to do before you are too old to do them, try and complete this list before you think of having children.
Good luck.

Cha Cha · 11-16-2010, 01:57 PM

I am 44 and my youngest is 18. I knew I wanted to be DONE having kids by the time I was 25. I know that's young, but growing up and being a mom was one of my childhood dreams. I love parenthood. Still do even though my kids are grown. I was very mature for my age, didn't get into the party scene much...just wanted to be a mom. So, now that my kids are grown and off to college, hubby and I are finding each other again, and we're still young enough to go anywhere we want, do what we want, and don't have to worry about the kids! LOL. Just let happen what is meant to be. Sometimes, you just don't have any control over it whatsoever, and it's ultimately up to a higher power.

RachelandSadie · 11-17-2010, 11:08 AM

that's a very good way to look at it. man 44 and all done empty nest sign me up!! that sounds way too awesome. i'll keep talking to Mike about it. he thinks in the next two years we'll be pregnant. it's just waiting the time out for him to get promoted (fingers crossed next summer) and then to get me stable in my job and hopefully figure out a better schedule. i don't want to be working 2-10 pm and not find a good babysitter. but when it happens we'll go from there. until then save money and i'm working on the fit and healthy eating right now shhh...don't tell DH it's all for the baby and not all about me or him

linz06 · 11-22-2010, 07:24 AM

I am 26, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, and are homeowners together, and I am feeling my biological clock ticking! I've always wanted kids but always wanted to wait, and I'm at the point where I don't want to wait anymore. We are both done college, have great careers and steady income, and we've moved to a small family-geared town (even though we now have to commute to the city for work!) but I just feel I'm ready now. I want to get married first, and we're planning a trip to Europe next year, but after that I would really love to have children.

My brother is living with his longtime girlfriend and her two children who now call him dad. We take them in for weekends when my brother and his girlfriend have plans and it is such a joy having them in our house. It seems too empty with just the two of us! And I just yearn for some of my own. My boyfriend loves children and will be such a good father, one of these days!

Yorkiekids · 11-22-2010, 12:14 PM

I always wanted a large family, because it was only my sister and I and it was lonely. Well my first husband was all for a big family, but the marriage disolved and we ending up with one little girl. The second time I married I had two children, and then had my tubes tied, cause the marriage was rocky. I never got my own 8 kids, but through my kids I had a lot of kids around all the tie and I loved it. I'm 58 now and to old to have anymore, but now I get to enjoy my grandbabies.

shodanusmc · 11-22-2010, 01:03 PM

Marge said when I got back from a day in the field...."I think I am pregnant". We were ready!

11-14-2010, 10:39 AM	#16
DvlshAngel985 Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California, USA Posts: 12,693	What an interesting thread. I'm 25, not married, and as depressing as this may sound, I think I'm never going to get there. I would love nothing more than to start planning a life with my current bf. My biggest secret is that I'd love to have kids. I want 3, and I already have the perfect name for a boy. Everyone at home thinks I am anti-children, so much so that my mom says if I keep saying I don't want kids, I'll end up with a dozen of them! But shh... it's a secret. __________________ Littlest JakJak We miss you Kaji

11-14-2010, 04:32 PM	#17
kdhawks Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Charlotte, NC Posts: 2,359	This is so interesting to me as well. I am also 22, have been dating the same guy for almost 3 years, but personally am not ready for any kind of big commitments. My best friend is getting married over the summer to someone she has been seeing significantly less time than I have been with my boyfriend. Yet she feels ready and she probably is. I, on the other hand, am still entirely selfish. I have a ton of things I want to accomplish independently, and don't want to get married or have kids until I am done with the selfish phase. I really do think you just know when you are ready for these kinds of big decisions. There is nothing like a gut feeling. Only you and your DH will know when you are ready. __________________ katy&levi

11-14-2010, 04:38 PM	#18
TwoforFun YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: TX Posts: 646	My first child was born when I was 17 and even if I was very young I don't regret it. When you have your child in your arms everything else doesn't matter. You still have a few years to think about it but don't think to much because the years will fly. __________________ XOXO JiJi , JiJa Lil' Man and Mommy

11-16-2010, 07:19 AM	#20
joann1166 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Arab, AL, USA Posts: 1,117 Blog Entries: 1	I was 30 when I had my son (No I was not expecting to be pregnant). I can't say I was ready but it happened and i am glad it did. I know now I would not have been ready to have a child younger than that. I had already sowed my oats and got partying out of my life when I had him. This I am thankful for because it is a huge financial responsibility and personal sacrifice. I would definitely do it again if I could....I can't now so he is an only child. He is 14 now (oops..just told you my age) and I have watched him grow into a young man. It breaks my heart to know he will graduate high school in 3 years and I'll be all alone again but then I can look forward to grand kids in the future. What I'm trying to say is make sure your ready. Don't second guess yourself... children are like our furbabies...they need alot of attention prolly even more than our furbabies. __________________ Charlie & Natalie & Ollie

11-16-2010, 09:19 AM	#21
Rachael x Poppy's Mamma ♥ Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: England Posts: 3,751 Blog Entries: 3	Im 19 and have been with my BF for over 5 years. A lot of my friends have children even though I think we are too young. Im quite old fashioned and would like to get married before having children, but it still dosnt stop the feelings. I used to dream about how our baby would look, I had names picked out in my head and would look at baby clothes and cribs online. Its not that I wanted a baby NOW it was just that I was really looking forward to the time when we would have a child. The one thing that stopped me in my tracks? getting Poppy. Even the short time when I had sleepless nights with her and the huge responsiblity that having a puppy brings has shown me Im not ready for kids. You are still really young, you have plenty of time for babies. You should write a list of all the things you want to do before you are too old to do them, try and complete this list before you think of having children. Good luck. __________________ Rachael & Poppy

11-14-2010, 04:53 PM	#19
motomomma317 YT Addict Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: ohio Posts: 319	Im about to turn 34 this month and I have a 13 year old son. We didn't plan on having kids so early but we were happy none the less. Why we are by no means rich we have voted that I be a stay at home mom. My son is very active and has a lot on his plate a lot of the time. Even from his young age till now he was always active and our main focus was on him. We did opt to have only one child due to the fact that early on my husband was active duty military and it was tuff to handle a job and a child alone while he was gone for several months at a time. It has gotten to be a bit easier now that he's out of the military and at a normal job m-f 9-5. But I will be totally honest with you, you will give up things in life you never expected to. I gladly give up things I don't need in order to give my son the things he loves. There is no greater love then the love you have for a child. I will admit its not always smooth but on those days that they reach out and hug you and tell you that your the best mommy in the world it wipes out all the dirty diapers you changed. Even better is when your teenage child hugs you in front of his friends and tells you how awesome you are and his friends laugh at him. (its a big deal trust me) As for your husband allow him to be fully ready too. Pressuring him to have kids to early could hamper your marriage in the long run. He may not give you as much support if he's not ready. Trust me having a husband to pick up one Sat. morning breakfast per month is a god send. Make a list of the top 10 things you want to do before you have kids and have him do the same. Then spend the next year trying to cross as many of those things of the list as you can. It will not only grow the bond between you but tackling the things that may arise in order to do those things may prepare you to work as a team in unfamilure situations. As a side note, I think its very imp for you to prepare your body for having a baby. Eating well taking vitamins and having a full medical work up as well as a chat with your OBGYN. Allowing yourself a head start is a huge plus.

11-16-2010, 01:57 PM	#22
Cha Cha Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Where the deer and the antelope play Posts: 7,069	I am 44 and my youngest is 18. I knew I wanted to be DONE having kids by the time I was 25. I know that's young, but growing up and being a mom was one of my childhood dreams. I love parenthood. Still do even though my kids are grown. I was very mature for my age, didn't get into the party scene much...just wanted to be a mom. So, now that my kids are grown and off to college, hubby and I are finding each other again, and we're still young enough to go anywhere we want, do what we want, and don't have to worry about the kids! LOL. Just let happen what is meant to be. Sometimes, you just don't have any control over it whatsoever, and it's ultimately up to a higher power. __________________ Shelly and the girls Moka Mylee

11-17-2010, 11:08 AM	#23
RachelandSadie No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Kansas City, MO Posts: 5,748	that's a very good way to look at it. man 44 and all done empty nest sign me up!! that sounds way too awesome. i'll keep talking to Mike about it. he thinks in the next two years we'll be pregnant. it's just waiting the time out for him to get promoted (fingers crossed next summer) and then to get me stable in my job and hopefully figure out a better schedule. i don't want to be working 2-10 pm and not find a good babysitter. but when it happens we'll go from there. until then save money and i'm working on the fit and healthy eating right now shhh...don't tell DH it's all for the baby and not all about me or him

11-22-2010, 07:24 AM	#24
linz06 Donating YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Saskatchewan Posts: 3,154	I am 26, my boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, and are homeowners together, and I am feeling my biological clock ticking! I've always wanted kids but always wanted to wait, and I'm at the point where I don't want to wait anymore. We are both done college, have great careers and steady income, and we've moved to a small family-geared town (even though we now have to commute to the city for work!) but I just feel I'm ready now. I want to get married first, and we're planning a trip to Europe next year, but after that I would really love to have children. My brother is living with his longtime girlfriend and her two children who now call him dad. We take them in for weekends when my brother and his girlfriend have plans and it is such a joy having them in our house. It seems too empty with just the two of us! And I just yearn for some of my own. My boyfriend loves children and will be such a good father, one of these days! __________________ Lindsey and Layla, Lucy, and Kash

11-22-2010, 12:14 PM	#25
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	I always wanted a large family, because it was only my sister and I and it was lonely. Well my first husband was all for a big family, but the marriage disolved and we ending up with one little girl. The second time I married I had two children, and then had my tubes tied, cause the marriage was rocky. I never got my own 8 kids, but through my kids I had a lot of kids around all the tie and I loved it. I'm 58 now and to old to have anymore, but now I get to enjoy my grandbabies. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

11-22-2010, 01:03 PM	#26
shodanusmc BANNED! Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Illinois Posts: 4,603	Marge said when I got back from a day in the field...."I think I am pregnant". We were ready!