Bummed out

[yorkiepuppie]

i am not really taking sides or anything. i don't know either of these ladies personally. i spoke up in the first place because i just felt like a very nice person had been taken advantage of. unfortunately, i don't know all the details about the situation. i just hope that things can get resolved in a fair and satisfactory way. it's not impossible, does take communication and people admitting to their mistakes and clearing misunderstanding between the 2 people.

[maryeverett1]

Spiritwings, This was written so well!! I just wanted to add that people need to stop saying they "hope that two people can put their differences aside and work through this" like both people were in the wrong here! There weren't 2 people in the wrong! There was one! And that person needs to own up to her mistake, stop using every excuse in the book to validate her poor choices and straight up apologize for taking advantage of a friend! And I am sorry, to use the excuse that "all dog dresses look the same" is lame! There are many vendors on YT that have found a unique and beautiful style ALL THEIR OWN to sell! Its called being a designer!! You're right these dog dresses do look the same because you stole someone else's designs! Like spiritwings said let's stop taking the focus off of the real issue which is that Connie was trying to be a good friend and someone took her kindness and generosity and fleeced her with it! There is no "working this out" IMO unless a sincere apology is made, the website (with connie's designs) taken down until there are some real, legit and unique designs on it! Last question: is stealing a couple of dog dress designs worth losing a friendship and a friend the caliber of Connie?

Originally Posted by spiritwings1202

This is really sad!!
Connie comes on here to express her hurt and there are people that are trying to turn it around as if this Friend was the victim

All I can say is PLEASE........it makes me sick when someone betrays a person by lying and using a persons compassion and friendship and generosity.
I think people are forgetting the facts.......
Connie..trusted a friends word that she was only going to make clothes for her dogs
So Connie being the generous person........helped a friend with sewing techniques and even her own pattern that she has perfected over the years
Her Friend.......took that and decided to use it for her benefit even if it meant betraying a friends kindness
Connie's website shows many different prints.......her friend even uses some of those prints on her page!!
If you are a friend to someone first you would want to be honest!!
NOT DECIEVE.............You would say.............

I want to sell dresses for dogs can you help me or but now the friend started making dresses and realized that she wanted to start her own site...............
Maybe being a true friend you would go to Connie and say I know that you have helped me and shared your secrets and patterns would you mind if I started my own website........and would you mind if I used the same prints!~!!
That is how it should of happened!!
Her so called friend...........in my opinion is just trying to take the focus off of what she did and point the finger at Connie........Connie is not to Blame for her kindness..She was just expressing in her thread how hurt she was.

Maturity......is when we stop taking our finger and pointing it at everyone else and turn it around on ourself!!~ my Dad says that......... and you know what it is so true...Maybe this so called FRIEND needs to ask herself what could she of done to avoid this and accept the fact that she hurt Connie by her betrayal....

lies+hurt+betrayal+deceit=a broken relationship
To me a relationship is far more important than material things

[tjdmom]

I guess some people are better than me as far as being able to pick out who made each dress. But really, there's an easy way to prove it. Maybe someone could post several different designers dresses and those that think they all look so different can tell us who each of the designers are? It should be easy, right?

And I really do hope that Connie and Cory can work things out.... If you believe they are such good friends (which I do) then I can't imagine not wanting that...

[maryeverett1]

Originally Posted by tjdmom

I guess some people are better than me as far as being able to pick out who made each dress. But really, there's an easy way to prove it. Maybe someone could post several different designers dresses and those that think they all look so different can tell us who each of the designers are? It should be easy, right?

And I really do hope that Connie and Cory can work things out.... If you believe they are such good friends (which I do) then I can't imagine not wanting that...

I do hope it can be worked out somehow too. But I am living proof that even some of the best friendships can go by the wayside for very weird and heartbreaking reasons. I personally am sitting here tonight heartbroken over a friend who despite my very best efforts to salvage the friendship decided to quit it all together last fall. We had been close friends (talk on the phone multiple times a day close friends, I was her matron of honor in her wedding, there at the birth of her first child etc.) for 10 years. Last fall she just up and decided she no longer wanted to be friends with me anymore. And despite my best efforts to find out why she never really gave a reason. I tried everything I knew to do without knowing a real reason for the "break up." left messages, apologized for anything I could think of, left her s birthday gift on her front porch which she opened and then returned on my front porch in an old shopping bag. At times when I think about it and I'm missing her it feels like a punch in the stomach all over again! I heard through the grapevine that she delivered her second child yesterday...a girl who she named Mary. I tell this story because friendship, like a marriage, takes 2 people commited to working things out and to making it successful. When someone decides they no longer want to be part of the equation or they do something that can't just be looked over and moved on from without some serious discussion first it leaves the other person with their hands tied. As I sit here heartbroken over the fact that my friend who I've tried numerous times and ways to contact is celebrating a new baby with my name that I will never probably see, I can imagine that more than anything else Connie is heartbroken over what happened and over losing a friend she loved and trusted. I hope they can work things out but it is going to take some real effort I think on cory's part and both people wanting to move forward.

[LuvmyYorkies2]

We can go back & forth saying yes they should work it out, no they shouldn't. So now we know what "we' would do in this situation but the fact is that it is up to the 2 people involved to decide if this can be worked out and if so, great. If not, everyone will eventualy move on. It may be one rather than the other who needs to make the first move, I don't know but I just hope it happens in due time.

[ladyjane]

This is a very sad thread imo. Two people who were supposedly friends, but I wonder what kind of friendship it really was that it ends up here in public.

I totally don't get everyone elses' involvement in it.

Some of this stuff reminds me of the politicians who profess a love of God and strong family values and then are found to be cheating on their wives. Kills me when people start mentioning values and yet are pointing fingers at another person and acting like that person is the only sinner.

[LuvmyYorkies2]

Originally Posted by maryeverett1

I personally am sitting here tonight heartbroken over a friend who despite my very best efforts to salvage the friendship decided to quit it all together last fall. We had been close friends (talk on the phone multiple times a day close friends, I was her matron of honor in her wedding, there at the birth of her first child etc.) for 10 years. Last fall she just up and decided she no longer wanted to be friends with me anymore. And despite my best efforts to find out why she never really gave a reason. I tried everything I knew to do without knowing a real reason for the "break up." left messages, apologized for anything I could think of, left her s birthday gift on her front porch which she opened and then returned on my front porch in an old shopping bag. At times when I think about it and I'm missing her it feels like a punch in the stomach all over again! I heard through the grapevine that she delivered her second child yesterday...a girl who she named Mary. I tell this story because friendship, like a marriage, takes 2 people commited to working things out and to making it successful. When someone decides they no longer want to be part of the equation or they do something that can't just be looked over and moved on from without some serious discussion first it leaves the other person with their hands tied. As I sit here heartbroken over the fact that my friend who I've tried numerous times and ways to contact is celebrating a new baby with my name that I will never probably see,

That's the worst...she didn't even tell you why she's treating you like crap? Could it be hearsay somewhere, someone told her something about you, starting a rumor? There are devious people out there that will try to break up a good friendship...but I guess she'll never know... At least you can say you tried. And I'm sure everytime she says her baby's name(Mary), she thinks of you.

[maryeverett1]

Originally Posted by LuvmyYorkies2

That's the worst...she didn't even tell you why she's treating you like crap? Could it be hearsay somewhere, someone told her something about you, starting a rumor? There are devious people out there that will try to break up a good friendship...but I guess she'll never know... At least you can say you tried. And I'm sure everytime she says her baby's name(Mary), she thinks of you.

No and trust me if someone had something she is so the type of person to have said that that was the reason. We have a mutual friend (just one) that has also looked into it and not been able to turn up any valid reason for her drastic behavior. I have a few theories but won't take up this thread talking about them. The thing that baffles me the most is that I have done everything known to man to work this out and it's like I never existed in her life (evident by naming her baby girl Mary...I would have a hard time naming my child after someone I despised.) it has seriously been one of the most painful relationship experiences I have ever gone through. I think most of us love our GF's deeply and when you have gone through all that this friend and I have together unless someone slept with the other's husband or did something horribly evil or vile to the other why wouldn't you want to work it out? Our mutual friend thinks that she has taken this so far that maybe she feels like she can't go back or her pride won't let her go back. I have texted her periodically and left messages just telling her that I love her and miss her hoping that she will see that there is nothing we can't work through. She hasn't responded. I sent her a congrats text last night about the baby. Just devastating to go through. Really hope that Connie and Cory can work through this. There is nothing worse than losing a close friend...

[QuickSilver]

Well, I don't know either of these two people, and I'm not saying that both are in the wrong... from what I can see, maybe *neither* is. When money is involved, people are much less willing to cut each other slack. If I shared what I considered proprietary work with someone and they went and made money off of it, I would be very angry, and might publicly say they stole my idea. On the other hand, if I developed what I considered to be my own ideas, marketed them, and a friend publicly said I'd betrayed and stolen from them, I'd be angry and hurt about that as well.

There's the old saying, you can be right, or you can be happy. For me personally, if I am able to recognize someone else's perspective, or forgive them for wrongdoing, I do. Not that I'm an angel or anything. I can't say I'm in either of the two C's shoes, so who knows.

[miabellaamoure]

After reading both sides, here's a few of my thoughts on the subject:

1. There are always three sides to every story...Person A's version, Person B's version & then, the "truth"...plain & simple.

2. If you think it's "your" idea, PATENT IT & whatever you do...never, never, never share your company secrets especially down to the precise "how to's" with anyone!

3. Lastly, I hope all parties concerned can resolve their issues off YT...in private.

[peachbongi]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

Connie, I am so very sorry that you were betrayed by someone you called a friend. I truly know the feeling, and it is devestating.

In the recent past, it seems to be a re-occurring problem. I would venture to say that most of the long time YT vendors have faced this issue at least once. Not too long ago, I received a pm from a YT vendor who was upset because she had been "called out" in a pm. It seems like this YTer had copied a technique that was unique to another member. I was really amused because she was outraged that someone would be upset and wanted to know if I had ever received similar ugly pms. I don't think she liked my reply 'cause I haven't heard back from her.

There was a time when YT vendors took pride in their work, the work of others and there was mutual respect. Although dresses looked similar you could always tell who made the dress because each vendor has special little techniques that earmarked their work. It might be something as simple as how the velcro was sewn in, or something more significant such as the shape of the skirt and/or the amount of gathering. Now it seems like the "vultures" come out of the woodwork when they see something popular and either buy one and remanufacture it (take it apart to make a duplicate) or just copy it from pictures. I long for the "good ole days" when each YTer took pride in the fact that the work they produced was original, well made and was sought after by YT members for it's individual merit.

Cindy as you once told me..."This too shall pass". In time we will see things settle down and return to the YT you have know to love.

[bran]

So sorry to hear your friend would do this to you she wasnt much of a friend i dont think.

Originally Posted by Connie

I did something REALLY stupid a while back. I shared my dress pattern, detailed instructions and trade secrets of my business to a friend who said she would only be sewing for her own dogs. I did up step by step instructions, where I even included pictures with each step of making a dog dress. She was my friend...I love to help friends. Besides that, I spent many, many hours on the phone answering her questions and giving advice. I could go on and on, but I won't.

I started from scratch with my business and will admit that I do it because I can use the income. Over the years I have perfected my style dress, which was uniquely mine. I worked hard with no help from anyone.

Now I feel as if I have been kicked in the teeth. This person now has a website that she is advertising on all the yorkie sites. She has my style dresses, vests, ruffled vests on her website and even has the exact same prices on hers as I do mine. She even has the same packaging! I took pride in packaging my items to look professional. Now nothing about my business is unique any more.

If you can't trust a friend, who can you trust? I am so upset!

[Godislove]

Originally Posted by QuickSilver

Unfortunately, I can see both sides on this, and I can see why both parties are upset. It does seem to me to be a misunderstanding that's built up over time, and because money and reputations are involved, it's elevated the stakes a lot.

The chances of this may be slim, but I do hope that if these two women were friends, perhaps they can be again. From what I can see, I believe that both people feel that they acted appropriately. If the friendship means enough, perhaps they can work to understand why the other acted as they did.

Well said. I do hope something can be worked out between you two. Friendship is more important and misunderstandings do happen. I am not taking sides; just stating my opinion.