Has anyone ever did a long distance relationship? I also need advice guys....

[wantayorkie23]

Ok I know for a fact that I have fallen in love with my ex and fell in love with him when we wasn't in a relationship. We keep in touch by texting here and there because he is now engaged (this happened before we got back in touch) and it's almost a year since he has been endaged. He's been telling me its a mistake and he breaking it off or what not (which im unsure about) and has been asking me how can we wok it out because im graduating and going back home in a different state in a few weeks. Now even though I love him I do have trust issues with him like how he is talking to me now when he is engaged (even though he say its not working and he gonna break it off) Even though Im participating in it I still look at it and think that if we did get together he will do it with me. I know talking to him while he is engaged might be wrong but I dont want to loose him and not talk to him never again. I just can't do that. WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO ABOUT THIS???? Also, So even If he does break It off should go back with him and do you think a long distance relationship will work?

[wantayorkie23]

And also do you think I should push more to tell him how I really feel even if he engaged?

[speleogirl37]

UH...No, I don't see it working. Run far far away. It will be less painful now, then later if you get involved in a relationship!!

[juliaw04]

Girl, this is sticky situation and I think you need to be very careful! Long distance relationships take a lot of dedication and TRUST for them to work. Only you can decide whether or not you trust him, but I encourage you to really stop and think about it first.

What made the two of you call it off before? Has whatever caused the breakup been resolved? You don't have to respond on here...just some food for thought!

There is no reason the two of you can't be friends. I have a very close relationship with my ex-boyfriend (I'm engaged)...but it is just a friendship and nothing more.

Good luck to you!

[Breeze]

I went through this many years ago too, and still hurts 15 years later at times from the pain it caused me. If he loves you, he would not be engaged period to her. He would be with you. I believed all the lies and was blindsided when he picked her and married her. Everything he said meant nothing, about being unhappy, breaking it off............................................... ..........................

The key words are "she' is his "fiancee" not you.

In the end no-one will win. He is unhappy with both, cause he is not truely commiting to either. The woman, the one who loses him or the one who he decides to be with lose because men like this do not commit.

I would move on even though I know how much it hurts. If a man is not committed to his fiancee who would he truely be commited to?

[DvlshAngel985]

That was me a 6 months ago asking if long distance relationships work. My situation was slightly different, there was only my bf and I involved and he was moving halfway around the world. In the end he didn't go anywhere and that was the best Christmas present I ever received!!!

Your situation is a bit tricky. There is someone else involved and there are some things that I agree with. He asked someone else to marry him, he got down on one knee and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. To me that would be extremely painful to know. But... if it's not working out, and you say you have trust issues with him, it might not work for you guys either. I agree with juliaw04 that trust is extremely important in a long distance relationship.

Now, these are my thoughts only. If they help you think things through, that's great! Just don't take them as a final verdict and this is what you must do. When my bf was thinking of moving all I heard from my best friend was "dump him already, he's leaving anyway, it'll never work out between the two of you, Don't be STUPID!!" and I know how that negativity hurts.If I had listened to my best friend, I could of ruined things with my bf that would probably be hard to mend. I listened to my heart, and my gut and it all worked out.
Good luck!!!!!

[Bianca]

I mean I think yea long distance relationships work, but with this guy?
I am sorry, but he has committed to someone else and here he is talking to you and telling you all this crap . If he really was an honorable person he would tell his fiance the truth and stop messing around with her heart.
I just would be careful is all I am telling you.
Remember: Honorable means finishing what you've
started before moving on to the next thing, person.
All The Best!

[Graleyne]

If they will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you.

Best piece of advice I ever received and it is very true. Even though he isn't technically cheating by just talking to you, in a way he is. He is making you believe he would be willing to work things out with you while he is still engaged to her. That is wrong. If he REALLY wanted to do that, he would break things off with her.

[LDandPasquale]

Originally Posted by Graleyne

If they will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you.
.

That IS the best advice !!!! and its sooo true!


This guy wants his cake and to eat it too. He has two women at his disposal. What more could a guy ask for? He basically wants you to commit to him...but he wont commit to you (since he's engaged). He's commited to someone else...he's playing you like a puppet. You're basically telling him that its ok to cheat on his fiance' and he's gladly accepting the fact. A future relationship with him will never have any trust involved in it...cause you're already telling him that its ok to cheat. I say cut off the relationship now and find someone who is going to love YOU and only YOU!

[amandawash]

Originally Posted by speleogirl37

UH...No, I don't see it working. Run far far away. It will be less painful now, then later if you get involved in a relationship!!

Originally Posted by Breeze

I went through this many years ago too, and still hurts 15 years later at times from the pain it caused me. If he loves you, he would not be engaged period to her. He would be with you. I believed all the lies and was blindsided when he picked her and married her. Everything he said meant nothing, about being unhappy, breaking it off............................................... ..........................

The key words are "she' is his "fiancee" not you.

In the end no-one will win. He is unhappy with both, cause he is not truely commiting to either. The woman, the one who loses him or the one who he decides to be with lose because men like this do not commit.

I would move on even though I know how much it hurts. If a man is not committed to his fiancee who would he truely be commited to?

Originally Posted by Graleyne

If they will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you.

Best piece of advice I ever received and it is very true. Even though he isn't technically cheating by just talking to you, in a way he is. He is making you believe he would be willing to work things out with you while he is still engaged to her. That is wrong. If he REALLY wanted to do that, he would break things off with her.

Great advice ladies. I have nothing to add!!

[wantayorkie23]

Thanks Guys. I was also looking at Oprah the other day with Steve Harvey and he was saying that if a man really cared about you he will give you a title. (girlfriend or something). Deep down inside I know it's wrong for talking to him cause it is like saying it's ok to cheat on her but i don't want to just never speak to him again. Even if he gets married I do want to keep a friendship with him. And I know that he is a DOG! But I just know his good side and he really means alot to me.

He lost both of his parents so I think thats the reason why he asked her to marry him. I think he is scared of being alone. He was even asking me about how I felt about it when we was together and when we broke up he told me that in two years he was going to ask me to marry him in two years but I just pushed him away because Im not even ready to ever talk about marriage. I think the reason I still talk to him also is because I feel bad for him because he had a really bad past and sometimes I use that as an excuse as his behavior.

But how can I tell him what we are doing are wrong without him getting mad and keep that friendship with him.

[luvfla]

OK...forget about you, forget about him....put yourself in HER shoes. How would you feel when you found out (& she would find out) that your fiancee, who you've put your future in promise you being together, is playing another woman? And honey he IS playing you to build his ego. Be better than that!

[wantayorkie23]

Originally Posted by luvfla

OK...forget about you, forget about him....put yourself in HER shoes. How would you feel when you found out (& she would find out) that your fiancee, who you've put your future in promise you being together, is playing another woman? And honey he IS playing you to build his ego. Be better than that!

Yea I know I agree

[LDandPasquale]

Originally Posted by wantayorkie23

Thanks Guys. I was also looking at Oprah the other day with Steve Harvey and he was saying that if a man really cared about you he will give you a title. (girlfriend or something). Deep down inside I know it's wrong for talking to him cause it is like saying it's ok to cheat on her but i don't want to just never speak to him again. Even if he gets married I do want to keep a friendship with him. And I know that he is a DOG! But I just know his good side and he really means alot to me.

He lost both of his parents so I think thats the reason why he asked her to marry him. I think he is scared of being alone. He was even asking me about how I felt about it when we was together and when we broke up he told me that in two years he was going to ask me to marry him in two years but I just pushed him away because Im not even ready to ever talk about marriage. I think the reason I still talk to him also is because I feel bad for him because he had a really bad past and sometimes I use that as an excuse as his behavior.

But how can I tell him what we are doing are wrong without him getting mad and keep that friendship with him.

Lets face it..if you two really just wanted to be "friends"....you would have met his fiance' along time ago...and would be friends with her also. Honestly i think you're just making excuses cause you still love him. If you're afraid that you cant be honest with him without him getting upset? Then whats the point of having him as a friend? I know with my friends that if i tell them something ....they may be upset...but they will still be my friend.

[wantayorkie23]

Originally Posted by LDandPasquale

Lets face it..if you two really just wanted to be "friends"....you would have met his fiance' along time ago...and would be friends with her also. Honestly i think you're just making excuses cause you still love him. If you're afraid that you cant be honest with him without him getting upset? Then whats the point of having him as a friend? I know with my friends that if i tell them something ....they may be upset...but they will still be my friend.

thanks guys but I told him all of this was wrong