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01-30-2009, 07:52 PM | #1 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Space City
Posts: 2,079
| Motherhood question I'll be 36 this year and have been married 7 of them. I was never worried about motherhood up until now. I guess my clock is ticking and even though I don't feel ready to be a mom I think is time for us to have a child. Just one! no more! I really enjoy my lifestyle so is my husband. We enjoy the dogs and cats and going for walks and just having the house for ourselves and spending our money in whatever we want. We both know that once you have a child your life changes for the rest of your life, but at the same time we feel like is time to add a family member. But then I think of all the worries parents go thru with their kids. Sometimes even if parents are good parents kids get out of hand,rebellious and misbehaved to the point that parents can't handle them. I' talking when the kids turn into teenagers. I'm just afraid of all those things that come with having a kid. I thought I gave my mom hell when in my teens, but I was nice compared to the things I see now a days with teenagers and the way they act. But then I think too that I'm not getting any younger neither is hubby and the more we wait, the dangerous it gets, especially for me because at my age it start to get riskier and riskier to bare a child. I know that all this is personal and is going to be up to us if we decide to do it. I just want to ask your opnions on motherhood and if you've had any issues with your kids growing up? Am I being selfish for not wanting to have kids? or is it more selfish having kids without wanting them? I guess I'm confused... or just don't know if I'm ready to be a skinbaby's mom.
__________________ IF THERE ARE NO DOGS IN HEAVEN, THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE THEY GO. CHIKIS, OSCARITO,JEROME, KIKI, AND NEGRITA. |
Welcome Guest! | |
01-30-2009, 08:01 PM | #2 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | I don't think a lot of us are ready but they are a huge commitment but worth it. They do change your life a lot mostly for the better. I have been very lucky with my daughter she is 23 just finished college and has been a very easy child. I spent alot of time with her and still do. You must set rules and enforce them and then hope for the best. Good luck in your decision.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
01-30-2009, 08:10 PM | #3 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Fortfun, CO
Posts: 77
| Hi, I grew up in Clear Lake City. I had my last child when I was thirty-nine, and I have 3 others. Honestly, sometimes I wish I had made different decisions. Most of my friends are empty-nesters, and enjoying having time to themselves right now. Don't get me wrong, I love all of my kids, and their different personalities, but it can be painful, watching them make mistakes. Some of the same I made! I have younger friends though, that ask me for advice a lot, and I'm a single mom! You sound like a smart person, and I'm sure you and your husband will make the right choice for your situation. And if it's the right time, now, or never. Good luck! Prayer works for me. |
01-30-2009, 08:26 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Space City
Posts: 2,079
| I love Clear Lake! It is a nice area.How long did you live here?
__________________ IF THERE ARE NO DOGS IN HEAVEN, THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE THEY GO. CHIKIS, OSCARITO,JEROME, KIKI, AND NEGRITA. |
01-31-2009, 01:47 AM | #5 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Schweinfurt, Bayern, Germany
Posts: 432
| Babies and Yorkies. So I just got a positive pregnancy test (yay!) My doctors appt is next week so I'm not sure yet, but We've got our fingers crossed. I'm just wondering how many had kids after owning a yorkie and how'd the transition go? Walker is 6 months and will be neutered in the near future, probably around 7 months. He's a good dog, but definately still a puppy. How do you avoid baby/dog issues and jealous etc.? I realize I still have a lot of time, but chances are my husband will be deployed/deploying around the birth so I'd like to be as prepared as possible. Any hints, tips or words of wisdom would be great! Thanks guys! |
01-31-2009, 02:51 AM | #6 |
YT Addict Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Schweinfurt, Bayern, Germany
Posts: 432
| Hmmm...I'm sorry. I posted this on your thread on accident. I was supposed to start my own. I'm so sorry. |
01-31-2009, 05:11 AM | #7 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Ft Belvoir, va USA
Posts: 71
| I guess everyone has their own opinion when it comes to motherhood, I have 5 kids myself and my oldest is 12 and it isnt easy and sometimes I could scream but I find that just like having furbabies I would be lost without my children they are the light of my life and when hubby and I go on dates I am so anxious to get home to all the craziness! |
01-31-2009, 10:12 AM | #8 |
Donating YT 4000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Iowa
Posts: 9,493
| Becoming a parent does change who you are in many ways - you have to grow up in a whole new way! I think if you are hesitant you need to pay attn to why you feel that way. I know I went from wanting to have a big family to wanting to have none. But that none was out of selfishness - because i was enjoying my life so much. Then God sent me my daughter - she was an angel - she is still an incredible child - never rebellious until a bit of it when she turned 18 last yr & was off to a very elite university -- but really, I think that was more about her trying to figure out who she is as a young adult. I wish I had 5 more of her at least! I would encourage you to look at the reasons you want to have a child now. Is it that you are afraid, it's now or never; or do you feel pressure from friends & family? Good parenting comes from committed, caring, consistent, loving people. Are you at a point where you can commit the rest of your life to caring for your child and offering them consistency in discipline, love, time? I think having the time and willingness to give up some of the things you love is important. You still need to have time for yourself, but parents who focus too much on their own needs usually ended up with a child who acts out. That acting out on the part of a child - is almost 100% a call to be loved - children continually ask "do you love" - they do that in a variety of ways. But that is what their actions ask daily. Are you ready to love a child unconditionally? The best parenting book I ever read is "How to Really Love Your Child" by Ross Campbell. This book is fantastic - I would even suggest you read it, ask yourself, am I capable of parenting in this manner - if the answer is yes, then I would definitely say start preparing your body for motherhood. (I only disagreed with one thing in the book - that was spanking)
__________________ yorkiesmiles Loved by Bubba & Roxy Holy, holy, is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come Last edited by yorkiesmiles; 01-31-2009 at 10:14 AM. |
01-31-2009, 10:38 AM | #9 |
YT 500 Club Member | Ann Landers had a pole several years ago asking parents if they had it to do over, would they do it again. Most said "No". You have to know what is right for yourself. It does change your life forever. Not just while they are living at home either. I have two grown children, and they are wonderful. I also have two grown step children, and they are also wonderful. One of my daughters has some mental health issues, and there have been some tough times for her. They are all different. I work for an adoption agency and help prepare couples for parenting. I think that the main thing to remember is that not everyone needs to be a parent. If you are happy with your life, no one or nothing should make you feel less than a person or couple, or even a family just because you are not raising a child. Some people make better parents than others. Children can also cause a perfectly good marriage to have problems. That being said, some people will also have a wonderful life with children and have a perfectly great marriage too. Only you can make that decision. Just make it because you really, really want a child and not because your clock is ticking. Best wishes to you whatever you decide.
__________________ Sophie's Mom : |
01-31-2009, 01:00 PM | #10 |
Donating YT Addict | you can just ask yourself the question are you commited to giving this child alot of attention and nurturing he/she will need. yes it's very hard at times, but i'd do it all over again to have them in my life. teenagers are really hard. they are growing and trying to make their own decisions and it's just hard any way you look at it. I've raised my children in church and tried to teach them right from wrong......and it says in the Bible "train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he won't depart from it" Proverbs 22:6 what the Bible don't tell ya is the inbetween....lol I have one that is 23, 19 (in college) and 17 yr old ( senior year) the two older ones made some bad decisions, but they've learned from them and have it together now. ( or i hope they do) I guess you just have to take one day at a time but to be honest this time that we live in........I wouldn't have a baby. It's like you said you see all the things that kids get into and see. TV has to be closely monitored and public schools are scary .......You do have alot to think about. I do admire you for really thinking and considering your living situation and all that comes with dealing with children. Your very smart and I think whatever you decide you will be ok with.
__________________ I Lve My Sweet Tyke I can do all things through Christ who stengthens me. Phil.4:13 |
01-31-2009, 01:41 PM | #11 |
YT 1000 Club Member | I have three and I can not imagine a life without my children. I think most women grow up just KNOWING that they want to have children..and some women grow up Knowing that they DON"T....I have two cousins now in thier 40's who never had children and they are very content with that....I think there is a lot of pressure on women to "conform" ...that they are supposed to have children....well it's a new ERA and women have so many more options in life and having children may not always FIT.... You have to do what feels right in YOUR heart..... Best of luck with wichever you decide :-)
__________________ Natalie & KiKi |
01-31-2009, 05:45 PM | #12 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Space City
Posts: 2,079
| Quote:
Honestly, I think about the dogs and cats too and I feel like having a baby wil make them feel not as love as I love them because they won't have my attention 100%! I know it sound crazy, but my dogs and cats are my life. Maybe I don't need to have babies Hubby is fine with no babies he's told me that many times, but then he tells me well... just one maybe...in the future... Crazy isn't it? Thank you for your comment. I will buy that book.
__________________ IF THERE ARE NO DOGS IN HEAVEN, THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE THEY GO. CHIKIS, OSCARITO,JEROME, KIKI, AND NEGRITA. | |
01-31-2009, 05:46 PM | #13 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Space City
Posts: 2,079
| Don't worry, it's ok.
__________________ IF THERE ARE NO DOGS IN HEAVEN, THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE THEY GO. CHIKIS, OSCARITO,JEROME, KIKI, AND NEGRITA. |
01-31-2009, 05:49 PM | #14 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Space City
Posts: 2,079
| Quote:
Thank you for the good luck wishes. Let's see what happens.
__________________ IF THERE ARE NO DOGS IN HEAVEN, THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE THEY GO. CHIKIS, OSCARITO,JEROME, KIKI, AND NEGRITA. | |
01-31-2009, 05:55 PM | #15 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Space City
Posts: 2,079
| Quote:
__________________ IF THERE ARE NO DOGS IN HEAVEN, THEN WHEN I DIE I WANT TO GO WHERE THEY GO. CHIKIS, OSCARITO,JEROME, KIKI, AND NEGRITA. | |
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