Oh boy... (actually GIRL) - What have I DONE???? - Page 38 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

sammiz · 08-12-2008, 01:40 PM

Listen....some people just can't get far enough to feel complete empathy. It's okay. Don't let it be a stumbling block. They will always be there. You have to go around them, over them or through them, but just get past them.

When my baby came to me with a broken heart, sobbing because of something ugly that someone said that hurt her deeply....why I would just tell her that we all have scars. I just did my best to help her through these times but it WAS hard. I couldn't give her one good reason why humans are so mean. I could only try to comfort her and go on.

Today, she is a healthy minded individual that has so much empathy for others. Her chosen profession is working with folks that are damaged and unable to properly care for themselves. I am very proud of the woman she has become.

So please know....there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Endurance can sometimes be so very difficult. Be encouraged, Dena. Only you are living it. The rest of us are all on the sidelines but you have so much support. Concentrate on that. Put your blinders on to the rest. Please.

DvlshAngel985 · 08-12-2008, 01:41 PM

I just want to Thank You Dena for having the courage to take on all the commitments of raising baby Emma. God put baby Emma in your path and having a choice, you made a couragous one. At a time when you could of ignored this little soul, you decided to take on the challenge that came with this little angel aside from all that you already have on your plate, like your own furkids. If I ever find myself in a similar situation I hope to have the courage you had and take the challenge head on and try to make a difference in the life of a person, or like in this case a cute little puppy.

Just like you did! You're story is inspiring!

Keep strong and thank you for taking the time to post and let us know how Emma is doing.

kalina82 · 08-12-2008, 01:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

The pictures of this baby are heartbreaking. I can't imagine what she and you are going through.

I can't catch up on 37 pages worth of info, but: have you consulted w/ a veterinary hospital? (I'm sure you have) What is she being given for pain control? Have you asked a vet to consult with a plastic surgeon who does facial reconstruction?

As you go through this process, if it were me - I'd always be asking myself - on a scale of 1-10, what is the quality of life this little baby seems to be experiencing? I do truly hope you can save her - but please remember that her quality of life is at your mercy, at this point. I know how badly you want to save her, and right now - I want that for you too. I hope it can be done. Also - did you see the STICKY in the Emergency forum for help w/ vet bills?

My heart goes out to her.

Quality of life is what we always tell our clients to look for when they have a pet with a life threatening problem. We all know you love Emma and want to save her, but sometimes its not the right thing to do. I was very supportive and happy to read what you were doing for her in the beginning. But after this last report that her stitches came out again and pictures of her face, i asked myself how much more of this does this baby have to endure? She's probably not on pain meds because she is so tiny there is a huge risk of overdosing her. that's also why they didn't use anesthesia when they did the procedure in the first place. its just too much for her. You can't let her face stay like that right now and fix it later. Its all mangled up. Its not the vets fault they keep coming undone. There is only so much they can do. I've seen this surgery performed on babies like emma before and its sad to say but a lot don't make it.

Emma needs to go to a board certified surgeon and have her face fixed. It cannot be left like that. You chose to have it fixed so you have to follow through with it.

linsvs · 08-12-2008, 01:49 PM

Emmas My Space page is beautiful . Everyone should check it out. Shes now in my friends list to I wont miss any baby steps to her progress...

sammiz · 08-12-2008, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by linsvs

Emmas My Space page is beautiful . Everyone should check it out. Shes now in my friends list to I wont miss any baby steps to her progress...

It is beautiful and all of it just maked my heart clutch and my stomach flutter. The song you chose is so very appropriate.

God bless Little Emma! Helpless little baby relying on a human heart for her very life. God Bless you too, Dena.

My heart is aching.

kpstoybox · 08-12-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

The pictures of this baby are heartbreaking. I can't imagine what she and you are going through.

I can't catch up on 37 pages worth of info, but: have you consulted w/ a veterinary hospital? (I'm sure you have) What is she being given for pain control? Have you asked a vet to consult with a plastic surgeon who does facial reconstruction?

As you go through this process, if it were me - I'd always be asking myself - on a scale of 1-10, what is the quality of life this little baby seems to be experiencing? I do truly hope you can save her - but please remember that her quality of life is at your mercy, at this point. I know how badly you want to save her, and right now - I want that for you too. I hope it can be done. Also - did you see the STICKY in the Emergency forum for help w/ vet bills?

My heart goes out to her.

I was starting to wonder the same things. Not about feeding her and saving her life. I think Dina is doing a remarkable job keeping her alive...especially after all she has been through.

But as picture after picture was posted of that little face after each failed attempt to fix it...I too began thinking when is too much pain...too much? When should she give up? Sorry, but I did.

But I am under the impression these 3 surgeries were preformed without any pain prevention. If they were...then in my opinion...they should have stopped after the 1st one failed. Much to inhumane to put any living thing through that much pain.

I am horrified to think about the pain little Emma suffered during the 2nd and 3rd attempt at putting her face back together with no pain management at all.

Dena asked if Emma was a human baby...would we have these same thoughts. Well, NO human baby would ever have to go through 3 surgeries (within days of each other) of the face and mouth without anesthesia.

Does this mean I would agree with anyone who would suggest Emma be euthanized now? Of course not. Emma has been through way to much to give up on her now. As long as she doesn't give up...then Dena has every right to help this baby have a chance at a life.

However, I pray that any future attempts to construct a functional nose and mouth be done as humanely as possible by Dr's who know what they are doing. There should be no more quicky pain filled surgeries while her little face is so raw and trying to heal.

I also pray for the strength Dina will need in the coming weeks.

Dina...if you are still reading these posts...you have many difficult decisions ahead that will determine this little girls fate. I pray you make the right ones for both you and Emma.

annabelle's mom · 08-12-2008, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bobble Head

OK EVERYBODY... DENA HAS TO SAVE HER ENERGY FOR EMMA. Please can we just ignore this person's comments and move on for Emma's sake.

Just nobody respond to her and just let it be.

NO MORE NEGATIVE TALK!!

Let her comments go and just feel sorry for her that this is the way she views the outcome for Emma.

I agree !!! If folks are so concerned about feelings.... they should consider Dena's. She
has become so dedicated to baby Emma. It is extremely touching to read all the positive posts offering prayers, support and kind wishes. The naysayers aren't considering the pain that their negative comments are causing Dena, as well as her YT supporters. I'm going to end this post before I write some very caustic remarks about all the negativity !!

JeanieK · 08-12-2008, 02:33 PM

I've just finished reading this thread. It took me all day to get through it.

I cannot believe that anyone who has read throgh it, has not felt this womans pain. how can those of you who have posted negative responses add to her grief. I don't care what you feel. Keep it to yourself.

I get treatments at a cancer center. (I do not have cancer) but I see parents with babies that are struggling to fight it. I have even thought to myself that those poor little darlings will never make it. But never do I think that the parents should quit trying.

You have read other people post their success stories with cleft pallett puppies, so you know they can survive.

She realizes that she has caused the puppy more suffering by allowing the surgery at such a young age. But she did what she thought was best with the knowledge she had at the time.

We have all learned a lot from this thread. Unfortunately we have also learned that there are people who will knowingly add to someone elses grief and feel that they were justified.

Dena i commend you for your strength and courage and your dedication to Emma. i hope she makes it.

Send your story to Ellen.

sammiz · 08-12-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeanieK

I've just finished reading this thread. It took me all day to get through it.

I cannot believe that anyone who has read throgh it, has not felt this womans pain. how can those of you who have posted negative responses add to her grief. I don't care what you feel. Keep it to yourself.

I get treatments at a cancer center. (I do not have cancer) but I see parents with babies that are struggling to fight it. I have even thought to myself that those poor little darlings will never make it. But never do I think that the parents should quit trying.

You have read other people post their success stories with cleft pallett puppies, so you know they can survive.

She realizes that she has caused the puppy more suffering by allowing the surgery at such a young age. But she did what she thought was best with the knowledge she had at the time.

We have all learned a lot from this thread. Unfortunately we have also learned that there are people who will knowingly add to someone elses grief and feel that they were justified.

Dena i commend you for your strength and courage and your dedication to Emma. i hope she makes it.

Send your story to Ellen.

JeanieK · 08-12-2008, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

The pictures of this baby are heartbreaking. I can't imagine what she and you are going through.

I can't catch up on 37 pages worth of info, but: have you consulted w/ a veterinary hospital? (I'm sure you have) What is she being given for pain control? Have you asked a vet to consult with a plastic surgeon who does facial reconstruction?

As you go through this process, if it were me - I'd always be asking myself - on a scale of 1-10, what is the quality of life this little baby seems to be experiencing? I do truly hope you can save her - but please remember that her quality of life is at your mercy, at this point. I know how badly you want to save her, and right now - I want that for you too. I hope it can be done. Also - did you see the STICKY in the Emergency forum for help w/ vet bills?

My heart goes out to her.

I cannot see how a cleft pallet will decrease the puppy's quality of life. She is just an infant. when she is old enough, it will not stop her from being able to run and play like any other dog.

BamaFan121s · 08-12-2008, 02:52 PM

Dena--
I have read through this thread...well, most of it.

I would just like to say that I commend you for the dedication you are giving this little one. I have read the "unwarranted" responses and really just think people were stating 'what they would do if they were in your shoes'...and I think that's truly all they meant by it. We all have our opinions on what is 'too much'--that doesn't make those opinions wrong, just makes them different. Maybe if it were me, I would handle it differently, but bottom line is-- It's not ME, so it is your decision to make and your fight for this little one to continue if you choose to do so. I believe at this point you will continue to get the support you are needing, no matter what comes of the situation and no matter what you decide now, or in the near future for little Emma. I admire your dedication to this little one and can only assume that you will do what is best for HER, whatever that may be. You are the one that has to judge what is in her best interest.

Good luck to you and baby Emma.

BamaFan121s · 08-12-2008, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

The pictures of this baby are heartbreaking. I can't imagine what she and you are going through.

I can't catch up on 37 pages worth of info, but: have you consulted w/ a veterinary hospital? (I'm sure you have) What is she being given for pain control? Have you asked a vet to consult with a plastic surgeon who does facial reconstruction?

As you go through this process, if it were me - I'd always be asking myself - on a scale of 1-10, what is the quality of life this little baby seems to be experiencing? I do truly hope you can save her - but please remember that her quality of life is at your mercy, at this point. I know how badly you want to save her, and right now - I want that for you too. I hope it can be done. Also - did you see the STICKY in the Emergency forum for help w/ vet bills?

My heart goes out to her.

I agree. And very nicely put.

kpstoybox · 08-12-2008, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeanieK

I cannot see how a cleft pallet will decrease the puppy's quality of life. She is just an infant. when she is old enough, it will not stop her from being able to run and play like any other dog.

The problem is...if I'm correct...this is no longer just a cleft pallet. I could be wrong...but I think I read that Dena said she only had one functional nasal passage. The other is wide open.
Her face is now "mangled' with very little skin left to keep trying anymore repairs. And last I read...her pallet was opening up again.

This is why "some" are now questioning the pain involved and her quality of life.

IMO...Dena has the right to try everything under the sun to save this baby. And I pray to God she succeeds. I just hope they can find away to do this with as little pain to baby Emma as possible.

Wylie's Mom · 08-12-2008, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeanieK

I cannot see how a cleft pallet will decrease the puppy's quality of life. She is just an infant. when she is old enough, it will not stop her from being able to run and play like any other dog.

I wasn't speaking of the cleft palate - I'm hoping that it can be repaired. I'm speaking of her quality of life after the unsuccessful surgery, the pain, the not using full anesthetic, the face splitting back open - and whether it can be fixed from there. That's what I'm talking about. Not the palate itself. The limitations of the medicine and/or the surgeons.

I'm hoping for the best here, for Dena and for Emma. I support them both.

JeanieK · 08-12-2008, 03:21 PM

her quaslity of life as an infant has not changed. she is just an infant and eats poops and sleeps. She is still able to do those things. The pain will go away it will not last forever, and the results of the surgery will heal over she isn't any worse off than before. If she makes it, she will have surgery when she is older.

True she did have to go through a lot of discomfort, but so do a lot of human infants. Infants have the remarkable ability to block a lot of pain that we has adults would not tolerate.

She is eating and gaining wadeight, I would not give up on her eather. Dena took on this task and she is not going to just quit jnow because it has gotten too hard.

I commend her. It can't be easy. She is commited, and as long as the little one is fighting she will fight too.

08-12-2008, 01:41 PM	#557
DvlshAngel985 Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California, USA Posts: 12,693	I just want to Thank You Dena for having the courage to take on all the commitments of raising baby Emma. God put baby Emma in your path and having a choice, you made a couragous one. At a time when you could of ignored this little soul, you decided to take on the challenge that came with this little angel aside from all that you already have on your plate, like your own furkids. If I ever find myself in a similar situation I hope to have the courage you had and take the challenge head on and try to make a difference in the life of a person, or like in this case a cute little puppy. Just like you did! You're story is inspiring! Keep strong and thank you for taking the time to post and let us know how Emma is doing. Last edited by DvlshAngel985; 08-12-2008 at 01:44 PM.

08-12-2008, 01:40 PM	#556
sammiz No Longer a Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: PORTERVILLE, CA Posts: 1,574	Listen....some people just can't get far enough to feel complete empathy. It's okay. Don't let it be a stumbling block. They will always be there. You have to go around them, over them or through them, but just get past them. When my baby came to me with a broken heart, sobbing because of something ugly that someone said that hurt her deeply....why I would just tell her that we all have scars. I just did my best to help her through these times but it WAS hard. I couldn't give her one good reason why humans are so mean. I could only try to comfort her and go on. Today, she is a healthy minded individual that has so much empathy for others. Her chosen profession is working with folks that are damaged and unable to properly care for themselves. I am very proud of the woman she has become. So please know....there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Endurance can sometimes be so very difficult. Be encouraged, Dena. Only you are living it. The rest of us are all on the sidelines but you have so much support. Concentrate on that. Put your blinders on to the rest. Please.

08-12-2008, 01:49 PM	#559
linsvs YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: maine Posts: 343	Emmas My Space page is beautiful . Everyone should check it out. Shes now in my friends list to I wont miss any baby steps to her progress...

08-12-2008, 02:33 PM	#563
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	I've just finished reading this thread. It took me all day to get through it. I cannot believe that anyone who has read throgh it, has not felt this womans pain. how can those of you who have posted negative responses add to her grief. I don't care what you feel. Keep it to yourself. I get treatments at a cancer center. (I do not have cancer) but I see parents with babies that are struggling to fight it. I have even thought to myself that those poor little darlings will never make it. But never do I think that the parents should quit trying. You have read other people post their success stories with cleft pallett puppies, so you know they can survive. She realizes that she has caused the puppy more suffering by allowing the surgery at such a young age. But she did what she thought was best with the knowledge she had at the time. We have all learned a lot from this thread. Unfortunately we have also learned that there are people who will knowingly add to someone elses grief and feel that they were justified. Dena i commend you for your strength and courage and your dedication to Emma. i hope she makes it. Send your story to Ellen.

08-12-2008, 02:52 PM	#566
BamaFan121s Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Alabama Posts: 11,432	Dena-- I have read through this thread...well, most of it. I would just like to say that I commend you for the dedication you are giving this little one. I have read the "unwarranted" responses and really just think people were stating 'what they would do if they were in your shoes'...and I think that's truly all they meant by it. We all have our opinions on what is 'too much'--that doesn't make those opinions wrong, just makes them different. Maybe if it were me, I would handle it differently, but bottom line is-- It's not ME, so it is your decision to make and your fight for this little one to continue if you choose to do so. I believe at this point you will continue to get the support you are needing, no matter what comes of the situation and no matter what you decide now, or in the near future for little Emma. I admire your dedication to this little one and can only assume that you will do what is best for HER, whatever that may be. You are the one that has to judge what is in her best interest. Good luck to you and baby Emma.

08-12-2008, 03:21 PM	#570
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	her quaslity of life as an infant has not changed. she is just an infant and eats poops and sleeps. She is still able to do those things. The pain will go away it will not last forever, and the results of the surgery will heal over she isn't any worse off than before. If she makes it, she will have surgery when she is older. True she did have to go through a lot of discomfort, but so do a lot of human infants. Infants have the remarkable ability to block a lot of pain that we has adults would not tolerate. She is eating and gaining wadeight, I would not give up on her eather. Dena took on this task and she is not going to just quit jnow because it has gotten too hard. I commend her. It can't be easy. She is commited, and as long as the little one is fighting she will fight too.