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![]() | #61 |
Donating YT 7000 Club Member | ![]() Debbi, I'm reading some of your other posts on this thread about smashed computers and what not...I'm really concerned for you. I think you need to get out now. Is there someone you can stay with while you go through with everything? I want you to be safe. Your safety is more important than anything.
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![]() | #62 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: usa
Posts: 1,321
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He will peek over my shoulder to see sometimes when I'm typing to see what I'm typing in an IM with one of my kids. He gets angry and screams half the time if they call me ![]() If he gets angry he pulls the plug. Jerks the wires out and has thrown 3 computers. The first time was when I confronted him about the porn issue my brother found. He just went nuts. Its horrible...my kids cant even come here anymore. My grandbabys haven't spent the night with me in years and they are my world.
__________________ Debbi ~Follow the 3 R's~~~ Respect for self...Respect for others ...Responsibility for all your actions | |
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![]() | #63 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: usa
Posts: 1,321
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"he is sick" he claims. And I am not honoring my marriage vows ![]() I wish he would cheat...maybe he'd find somebody else and leave me alone. But.......he would have no use for a woman..hooker...He cant do nothing , if you get what I'm saying.. He's sick all right..sick in the head I deserve better...and I never deserved the abuse I've went thru. But I am not giving him my house /100,000 its all I've got. (((((HUGS)))))))) and to mypreciouspups ,a2luckygirl ,Susan123 ,YorkichonBella MindieRose, Patti and any others for your support....Thank You ((((HUGS)))
__________________ Debbi ~Follow the 3 R's~~~ Respect for self...Respect for others ...Responsibility for all your actions | |
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![]() | #64 |
megan - g Donating Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: South Texas
Posts: 2,324
| ![]() I don't know about law, but I would be very careful about what I post online. Everything you type it seems can be used in court either for or aginst you. Also, as far as your husband claiming to have chest pain if you leave him, let him go to the Emergency Room. A cardiac work up will be done and he will be sent home if he is faking, the most he can fake is anxiety. A real MI (heart acttack) will be dected by an EKG and/or blood work. Best of luck to you, get him out of your house, and please let more people know of your situation in your area. You should tell your children. We support you here, but it is simply that. Most of us live too far to drive by and check on you or meet you for coffee. For your own saftey let your children and friends know what you are planning and they can help. Call them every day just to let them know you are safe. I wish I had more advise
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![]() | #65 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: usa
Posts: 1,321
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I read your posts a week or so ago and I worried that this had happened to you...I'm so sorry. And you have small kids.((((hugs))) I have consulted an attorney here. But he says that I have to be prepared to lose everything. There is no protecting my house/100,000 if he goes to the hospital. I already know I can get a protection order, but off to the hospital he would go I'm not sure if you read about his problems with his heart. I have been abused for most of my marriage. I had spinal fusion done 10 years ago and was in a bodycast for 3 months. I cant work. I do not get disability. The only thing I have for my future is my money which I thought I had protected with a pre-nup. Not so if the man choses to blackmail you. I hope if others read this they know this can happen to them ![]() He just says when you're ready...the money wont matter.. I have went to the hospital once after he grabbed my top as I tried to leave and threw me to the ground. I couldnt move but thankfully the fusion held. The hospital took pics of what looked like a huge rope burn across my neck. It was there for a week. He also pulled my hair and blackened my eye and half my face when grabbing it(he didnt punch me) both times at the hospital...he glared at me telling me dont you dare tell...Your house will be gone The nurses and DR werent stupid they knew what had happened. I have been "chest butted" into walls more times then I can count. BUT he claims he is not an abuser.He has never beat me with his fists...whatever. I know what he is ..I hate him He tells me Im old and wrikled and ugly. He knows my 22 yr marriage broke up for 10 yr for a younger woman. And he is 2 years younger then me.. I think thats why the porn bothers me that much more And uses names I had only heard a few men say in my life. I have hated this man for years now I want out. Its all I think about I keep hoping he will just have a heart attack from his heart problems. I do go to my kids alot...and I go to hotels alot just to get away from him Thank you so much for checking on things for me. He wont get support .I dont work or have nothing but the money which is in my house.
__________________ Debbi ~Follow the 3 R's~~~ Respect for self...Respect for others ...Responsibility for all your actions | |
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![]() | #66 |
YT Addict Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Arizona
Posts: 425
| ![]() Girl, it's sounds like you better get out of that house! He sounds like he could go off and you have no one there to stop him. Call your kids and tell them you and the furbutts are spending the night at one of their houses. Then you will be able to think more clearly on what to do next. |
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![]() | #67 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: California
Posts: 1,778
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Debbi, as far as I know you stop being liable for his expenses when you "separate". That is determined by your state of mind. If you go to a lawyer it is proof that your state of mind was to end your marriage and to separate yourself from him. In CA. people still live together and are still considered "separated" because they sometimes don't have the resources for anyone to move out. I have to leave to get my granddaughter, but I'll be back on in a little while and will catch up with this thread and see what else I can tell you. Hang in there. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this....
__________________ LaVail Yorkshire Terriers | |
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![]() | #68 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: usa
Posts: 1,321
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That we are both responsible for all bills until the day the divorce is final. And he even took out a huge loan that I didnt even know about until almost a year into our marriage. Guess what thats 1/2 mine too... I would have never said a word...filed and then laughed when he tried to blackmail me. I wish I lived in CA. He even said if only my name was on the deed my house may be protected. It has his name too. Thank ((((HUGS))) Jan I want you to know as soon as he even starts now I always leave. He hasnt touched me in quite a while now because he knows I'll just get in my car and sometimes leave for days .Its mostly verbal in the last several months. Hugs to you too!
__________________ Debbi ~Follow the 3 R's~~~ Respect for self...Respect for others ...Responsibility for all your actions | |
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![]() | #69 |
My little Shadow Donating YT Member | ![]() I am hoping for the best for You. It seems you are entering the 5th year mark of the prenup? The longer you wait, this could be jeopardized. If you do not like what one attorney has to say, please find another. You also already have evidence of abuse with the hospital records. Tell an attorney "everything". I myself, made so many mistakes that I still regret. It is overwhelming, I know. If you separate, you should not be held responsible for his medical expenses? I pray that you can find someone who will direct you for your best interest. Take care of yourself!
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![]() | #70 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Cape Cod Ma
Posts: 1,855
| ![]() There HAS to be something you can do.... I would go to the ER and tell them his plan, go to a judge and TELL him, go to the police station and tell them and first aid about it. Some one must have some way of helping you! If all else fails I would cut the phone lines! ![]() The more people you tell the less powerful he becomes... I can't believe the lawer, I think there is more ways to protect you. There HAS to be!!! I'm praying for you. I believe in the power of prayer and there are lots here to pray for you. Hang in there...
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![]() | #71 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: wilmington nc
Posts: 1,585
| ![]() I agree find another attorney I wish I had more advice for you but I am a real estate paralegal in NC not a family law attorney in Ohio which is who could give you the expert advice you need, I'm sorry ![]()
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![]() | #72 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 1,643
| ![]() You need to get to an attorney....you could actually change the locks while he is away fearing for your own safety.....getting an order of protection. You can get an attorney that is offered by the state I think...talk to an advocate for women on the phone...I am sure the state has one....it may be that you have to give him half......but half is better than your life...which I think I would be fearful of at this point.... I am from Ohio...and all my family is still there....have brothers that dont take any s**t...and , well lets just say.....if they knew a woman was in danger...they would not be very happy... What a jerk |
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![]() | #73 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,280
| ![]() There are attorneys that specialize in domestic violence, call someone else please! If you want, I can help you find one in your area. There is more help than you think out there. He wants you to think that there is no way out. Besides, even if you lose everything you have, you will still be better off. He wont get it all though, and hopefully, he WILL get what is coming to him.
__________________ Proud Mommy of Gavin, Ethan, Morgan, Nia, Olivia, and Kiana and baby #7! Also Mommy to furkids: Cleo ,Lola, Lilly Appletini, and Diesel. ![]() |
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![]() | #74 |
<3 My Little Bella Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Cape Coral, Florida
Posts: 2,143
| ![]() I just stopped by again and read this. Debbi, I hope you find the strength and courage to be able to deal with whatever lies ahead. Gather your family and close friends around you for support and safety. I don't know anything about Ohio divorce law but if I can help in some way, just say the word. ![]() Lots of hugs to you ![]()
__________________ ![]() ![]() Love all, trust a few. Do wrong to none. William Shakespeare |
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![]() | #75 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: California
Posts: 1,778
| ![]() Debbi, I just typed a very long response with all my advice - and I lost it! I have some things to tell you, but now my house is full of family --AUGHHHHH! I'll be back on as soon as I can. In the meantime, be strong girl. You can do this and it ain't all bad!
__________________ LaVail Yorkshire Terriers |
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