I'm at my Witz end - need teenager advice - Page 4 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

mickey3696 · 11-13-2007, 02:47 PM

I think they need to come up with a shot that will last from 13 to 18. My 14year old daughter has a boy problem. As a mother sometimes I think its a good problem to have. See my daughter doesnt have A boyfriend she has 8 boyfriends, which I feel is good she isnt getting attached to any of them. The problem is the kids at school (girls) call her a slu. and other words. All she does is talk to them at school. She isnt allowed to talk on the phone with boys. We go to different churches she goes to one that has a great youth pastor. Well they have to go hunt her and some boy down every week. They are either outside or in a room together. They are just talking but they are never where the are supposed to be. So this Sunday I had to take her church away from her. I feel so bad but I didnt know what to do.

On the other hand my 14 year old niece is trying to have a baby so she can get married. I cant tell you all that has went on with that one.

I think when a kid turned teen there brain goes on the fritz..

People keep telling me it will get better, I just cant wait.

yougetthesmiles · 11-13-2007, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DENISE517

Thanks guys. I take my 3 year old Lexi to work with me and he just off of work and came in to get her cause i don't get off til 5:00 and was being sooooooo overly nice that i just wanted to puke. lol

i wrote him a very long crappy email earlier letting him know how it hurts me when he does that stuff and he said, hey i was so busy today that i just didnt want to read your email and get into it cause i didnt have time, but if you want to talk to me about it tonight, then we will....

i said...no thats ok and buy the way, you might want to pick something up for supper or cook cause i don't have time either. lol

you should of seen the look on his face...it was priceless!!!

wooohooo you go girl!

So what was for supper tonight? lol

I hope you to can get this all straightened out, I know it sucks to argue!

Tiggerwit · 11-13-2007, 03:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mickey3696

On the other hand my 14 year old niece is trying to have a baby so she can get married. I cant tell you all that has went on with that one.

nont uh.... (no way) want me to pop knot her for ya.

I feel all ya'alls pain. I won't get into it but I can totally empathize .

Mybabyboymax · 11-13-2007, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nikki+2

LOL, not yet- I keep waiting for all that payback that my mom always promised me.

So far, luckily she doesn't seem to take after me. Now the monthly emotional roller coaster- that's another story.

My moms favorite line is...I dont want her to be any worse than you or any better than you I want her to be just like you were LOL
I put my mother through so many changes...if I could go back and change it I would

It is so crazy how at that age you think you mom knows nothing but as you get older you understand what she did and why she did it.

pea496 · 11-13-2007, 04:03 PM

I know what you are going through. My niece is going to be 12 shortly. My sister tells her to go to her room and clean it. She is not to get out of her room until it is clean. She will stay there until hell freezes over, and still not clean!!! She has the computer taken away for a few days, up to 2 weeks and that really hurts. She also has a cell phone and a tv in her room (that one is my fault - I gave her a tv). I really don't get it because with all the stuff she has - she is still "bored" - at least that is what she says constantly. She has dance classes 4 days a week, school, homework and she is still "bored". She reminds me so much of my sister when she was growing up (I am 16 years older) that I just laugh at my sister!!!

I think that if your husband cannot back you up, he should stay out of it.

Tiggerwit · 11-13-2007, 04:17 PM

When my kids were little and wouldn't clean their room, I once brought out the big green hefty garbage bags and just went on a rampage and tossed everything. (Of course I just put it in the garage) All i left was their clothes, bed, and dresser. That crap sat in the garage for 3 months, didn't even phase them.

Tiggerwit · 11-13-2007, 04:19 PM

I knew one guy whose daughter wouldn't make her bed so he took it away for like a week. She slammed her door, he took it off the hinge and stuck it in the garage for like 2 weeks.

Tillys_mom · 11-13-2007, 04:24 PM

Oh I remember being her age. I was sassy too, but not nearly as bad as my brother. My dad was the strict one and my mom I pretty much had wrapped around my finger. I took advantage of everything she did for me up until the end of my junior year of high school. I kept threatning to run away, drop out of school, you name it. She didn't need to go through that and you don't either. I remember telling mom I was working over and I was going to be late, (I worked at a local fast food place), and instead I was hanging out with older guys in the parking lot into the wee morning hours. Mom decided to go out and talk to me at work and she caught me hanging with them, and these were guys I KNEW I wasn't suppose to go anywhere near. They were only trouble. She basically told me to get my butt in my car and go home. She and I had to longest talk ever. It was Easter morning.

My younger brother was in tears and so was the rest of the family. I was letting everyone down with my attitude. I got my cell phone taken away, I had to ride the bus to school (that is what killed me the most), no going out, you name it. I basically went to school, work, then straight home. I deserved it. Ever since my mom and I talked we haven't argued nor have I sassed her. I'm also now going on 21 and very mature for my age. My mom and I are best friends. I'm sure this is just a phase and you and Lauren will grow to be the best of friends.

I'm not sure what to say about the situation with your hubby. I wish he would understand where you are coming from.

altigger74 · 11-13-2007, 05:10 PM

I have a 12y/o son,, yeah that's fun! My kids and hubby are spoiled rottenI clean cook, go to work, whatever needs to be done because it's easier for me to do it then wait forever for my hubby to get it done or dealing with the whining and stomping feet

I keep asking my mom to bottle whatever she did as a mom so I can have it, I was never disrespectful (at least not to her face), I would have had my teeth knocked out if I spoke to my mother like my kids do me. My biggest problem with my kids is that they don't want to do anything and usually I lose it and then they lose the puter, tv, vcr, dvd all game systems (basically I've killed them

) My husband usually takes my side but if the kids are getting on my nerves I usually have to tell him to do something before I do (he acts like he can't hear the fighting and such) oh well, I guess I still haven't seen anything yet

DENISE517 · 11-13-2007, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tillys_mom

Oh I remember being her age. I was sassy too, but not nearly as bad as my brother. My dad was the strict one and my mom I pretty much had wrapped around my finger. I took advantage of everything she did for me up until the end of my junior year of high school. I kept threatning to run away, drop out of school, you name it. She didn't need to go through that and you don't either. I remember telling mom I was working over and I was going to be late, (I worked at a local fast food place), and instead I was hanging out with older guys in the parking lot into the wee morning hours. Mom decided to go out and talk to me at work and she caught me hanging with them, and these were guys I KNEW I wasn't suppose to go anywhere near. They were only trouble. She basically told me to get my butt in my car and go home. She and I had to longest talk ever. It was Easter morning.

My younger brother was in tears and so was the rest of the family. I was letting everyone down with my attitude. I got my cell phone taken away, I had to ride the bus to school (that is what killed me the most), no going out, you name it. I basically went to school, work, then straight home. I deserved it. Ever since my mom and I talked we haven't argued nor have I sassed her. I'm also now going on 21 and very mature for my age. My mom and I are best friends. I'm sure this is just a phase and you and Lauren will grow to be the best of friends.

I'm not sure what to say about the situation with your hubby. I wish he would understand where you are coming from.

omgosh...its funny you said that about riding the bus to school. i was thinking bout telling her she could just leave the house 1/2 hour earlier than we do now and get up earlier and take the bus to school. I'll have to try that. She gets up sooo early now cause it takes her forever. Plus the bus will be cold and on rainy days it will be heck. Maybe I'll do that till she can start appreciating me.

Baby Blessing · 11-13-2007, 08:55 PM

Hi Denise, sorry you are going through this difficult stage in Lauren's growing years.

I might maybe shouldn't say what I am about to, but I think that the younger generation is just given tooooo much, far too much. I also believe that far too many don't see parents having respect for each other and their consideration that ought to be for one another.

I also think that the younger folks need to be able to do volunteer work in either a hospital or nursing home, or if there is a childrens hospital near by to go there and volunteer on a regular basis, sometimes seeing others without the pleasures and joys in life puts them on a different outlook and helps to appreciate that which they have, including their parents. I personally believe they learn in life at this age it is not in gaining ( by getting a job and earning money) but in giving that helps them to grow and mature in more of a caring and loving manner.

Denise, Dan sounds like a great man. I think he just needs to be reminded that it takes two to have children and so therefore it takes two to work together in discipline and rearing them. Our children grow up and one day are out and on their own but then Mom and Dad have each other, it is important to build on that relationship at the same time in rearing our kids, so that when that day comes their is peace and harmony in a marriage to grow old together

I pray that things will get better and they will, prayer and patience is the key in rearing children and all things in life. Lots of prayer and God's continually working to make things better in our lives, even though sometimes we don't see it, it will come to be.

Oh and in closing want to say if you ever want to send Lauren out our way, she would be more than welcome to come and visit for a few weeks, especially this spring as I have tons of outdoor things I didn't get done and will put off till then Love you Denise, things will be better.

Prairie Bea sends you her special kiss's, she is so precious, she is gaining as she should but really can't say she is getting big. She is still real tiny in size, got the cutest little face I have ever seen. She melts ones heart just looking at her. How blessed we are with our babies.

Hugs, Patti and Jack

mizzwanned · 11-14-2007, 12:59 AM

I'M SORRY

Kids are starting to talk back earlier these days..

BLowry · 11-14-2007, 06:18 AM

Sorry to have to tell say this but, welcome to the wonderful world of teenage, I know everything and you can't tell me what to do!! My girls are now 24 and 29...so I have been through it...my girls put me through alot when they were teens and I didn't get any help with ANYTHING from their father (not married to him anymore). They are such good girls now, they both have their own business's, my oldest is married and just informed me that she is giving me my first grandchild (YEY!!!). I am so proud of both of them. All I can say is there is light at the end of the tunnel. It will get better...unfortunately it will probably get worse first..All of a sudden she will wake up one day and be a different kid...of course it probably won't be for another 5 or so years!! Hang in there! we've all been through it...

Nikki+2 · 11-14-2007, 06:29 AM

Checking in to see how everything went last night. Can't wait to hear about dinner.

marycrank83 · 11-14-2007, 06:32 AM

I have 5 boys!!!! but only a 19 yr. old and 13 yr. old at home now!! I promise you that this will work----- Everytime she mouths off to you-- you take her cell phone and tell her she can have it back tomorrow because if she cant speak nicely to you then she cant speak on her cell phone.... it took about a week of being very consistant with this but i saw each and everyone of those boys suddenly stopping and thinking before it came out of their mouths---of course they still had there moments of mouthing off but boy they hated me taking their cell phone and they learned self control!!!! good luck

11-13-2007, 02:47 PM	#46
mickey3696 Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Hemphill, Texas Posts: 632	I think they need to come up with a shot that will last from 13 to 18. My 14year old daughter has a boy problem. As a mother sometimes I think its a good problem to have. See my daughter doesnt have A boyfriend she has 8 boyfriends, which I feel is good she isnt getting attached to any of them. The problem is the kids at school (girls) call her a slu. and other words. All she does is talk to them at school. She isnt allowed to talk on the phone with boys. We go to different churches she goes to one that has a great youth pastor. Well they have to go hunt her and some boy down every week. They are either outside or in a room together. They are just talking but they are never where the are supposed to be. So this Sunday I had to take her church away from her. I feel so bad but I didnt know what to do. On the other hand my 14 year old niece is trying to have a baby so she can get married. I cant tell you all that has went on with that one. I think when a kid turned teen there brain goes on the fritz.. People keep telling me it will get better, I just cant wait. __________________ Angel,Muffy,&Buddy

11-13-2007, 04:03 PM	#50
pea496 Donating Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Connecticut Posts: 1,511	I know what you are going through. My niece is going to be 12 shortly. My sister tells her to go to her room and clean it. She is not to get out of her room until it is clean. She will stay there until hell freezes over, and still not clean!!! She has the computer taken away for a few days, up to 2 weeks and that really hurts. She also has a cell phone and a tv in her room (that one is my fault - I gave her a tv). I really don't get it because with all the stuff she has - she is still "bored" - at least that is what she says constantly. She has dance classes 4 days a week, school, homework and she is still "bored". She reminds me so much of my sister when she was growing up (I am 16 years older) that I just laugh at my sister!!! I think that if your husband cannot back you up, he should stay out of it. __________________ Conner - my best buddy

11-13-2007, 04:17 PM	#51
Tiggerwit Just me 'n my boys Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Murphy, TX Posts: 4,596	When my kids were little and wouldn't clean their room, I once brought out the big green hefty garbage bags and just went on a rampage and tossed everything. (Of course I just put it in the garage) All i left was their clothes, bed, and dresser. That crap sat in the garage for 3 months, didn't even phase them. __________________ "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." Alphy 's Roxy

11-13-2007, 04:19 PM	#52
Tiggerwit Just me 'n my boys Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Murphy, TX Posts: 4,596	I knew one guy whose daughter wouldn't make her bed so he took it away for like a week. She slammed her door, he took it off the hinge and stuck it in the garage for like 2 weeks. __________________ "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting some kind of battle." Alphy 's Roxy

11-13-2007, 04:24 PM	#53
Tillys_mom Spoilin' Tilly & Jack Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 2,227	Oh I remember being her age. I was sassy too, but not nearly as bad as my brother. My dad was the strict one and my mom I pretty much had wrapped around my finger. I took advantage of everything she did for me up until the end of my junior year of high school. I kept threatning to run away, drop out of school, you name it. She didn't need to go through that and you don't either. I remember telling mom I was working over and I was going to be late, (I worked at a local fast food place), and instead I was hanging out with older guys in the parking lot into the wee morning hours. Mom decided to go out and talk to me at work and she caught me hanging with them, and these were guys I KNEW I wasn't suppose to go anywhere near. They were only trouble. She basically told me to get my butt in my car and go home. She and I had to longest talk ever. It was Easter morning. My younger brother was in tears and so was the rest of the family. I was letting everyone down with my attitude. I got my cell phone taken away, I had to ride the bus to school (that is what killed me the most), no going out, you name it. I basically went to school, work, then straight home. I deserved it. Ever since my mom and I talked we haven't argued nor have I sassed her. I'm also now going on 21 and very mature for my age. My mom and I are best friends. I'm sure this is just a phase and you and Lauren will grow to be the best of friends. I'm not sure what to say about the situation with your hubby. I wish he would understand where you are coming from. __________________ Momma Tilly Money will buy you a pretty good dog, but it won't buy the wag of his tail.

11-13-2007, 05:10 PM	#54
altigger74 Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alabama Posts: 1,523	I have a 12y/o son,, yeah that's fun! My kids and hubby are spoiled rottenI clean cook, go to work, whatever needs to be done because it's easier for me to do it then wait forever for my hubby to get it done or dealing with the whining and stomping feet I keep asking my mom to bottle whatever she did as a mom so I can have it, I was never disrespectful (at least not to her face), I would have had my teeth knocked out if I spoke to my mother like my kids do me. My biggest problem with my kids is that they don't want to do anything and usually I lose it and then they lose the puter, tv, vcr, dvd all game systems (basically I've killed them ) My husband usually takes my side but if the kids are getting on my nerves I usually have to tell him to do something before I do (he acts like he can't hear the fighting and such) oh well, I guess I still haven't seen anything yet __________________ Mommy of Cody,Gracie,Bella,2labs,1cat, 2 skinkids one Angel Baby Boy 8/8/09 I carried you under my heart for 20 weeks and will carry you in my heart forever

11-13-2007, 08:55 PM	#56
Baby Blessing Our Blessings R Many Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: In the shelter of God's Loving Care. Posts: 3,095 Blog Entries: 1	Hi Denise, sorry you are going through this difficult stage in Lauren's growing years. I might maybe shouldn't say what I am about to, but I think that the younger generation is just given tooooo much, far too much. I also believe that far too many don't see parents having respect for each other and their consideration that ought to be for one another. I also think that the younger folks need to be able to do volunteer work in either a hospital or nursing home, or if there is a childrens hospital near by to go there and volunteer on a regular basis, sometimes seeing others without the pleasures and joys in life puts them on a different outlook and helps to appreciate that which they have, including their parents. I personally believe they learn in life at this age it is not in gaining ( by getting a job and earning money) but in giving that helps them to grow and mature in more of a caring and loving manner. Denise, Dan sounds like a great man. I think he just needs to be reminded that it takes two to have children and so therefore it takes two to work together in discipline and rearing them. Our children grow up and one day are out and on their own but then Mom and Dad have each other, it is important to build on that relationship at the same time in rearing our kids, so that when that day comes their is peace and harmony in a marriage to grow old together I pray that things will get better and they will, prayer and patience is the key in rearing children and all things in life. Lots of prayer and God's continually working to make things better in our lives, even though sometimes we don't see it, it will come to be. Oh and in closing want to say if you ever want to send Lauren out our way, she would be more than welcome to come and visit for a few weeks, especially this spring as I have tons of outdoor things I didn't get done and will put off till then Love you Denise, things will be better. Prairie Bea sends you her special kiss's, she is so precious, she is gaining as she should but really can't say she is getting big. She is still real tiny in size, got the cutest little face I have ever seen. She melts ones heart just looking at her. How blessed we are with our babies. Hugs, Patti and Jack

11-14-2007, 12:59 AM	#57
mizzwanned Donating YT 11K Club Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: new york Posts: 14,007 Blog Entries: 2	I'M SORRY Kids are starting to talk back earlier these days.. __________________ Primrose, Teddy..RIP, Livie..RIP, And can never forget my duo Sophie and London, Run in Peace <3

11-14-2007, 06:18 AM	#58
BLowry My furkids Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 4,625 Blog Entries: 1	Sorry to have to tell say this but, welcome to the wonderful world of teenage, I know everything and you can't tell me what to do!! My girls are now 24 and 29...so I have been through it...my girls put me through alot when they were teens and I didn't get any help with ANYTHING from their father (not married to him anymore). They are such good girls now, they both have their own business's, my oldest is married and just informed me that she is giving me my first grandchild (YEY!!!). I am so proud of both of them. All I can say is there is light at the end of the tunnel. It will get better...unfortunately it will probably get worse first..All of a sudden she will wake up one day and be a different kid...of course it probably won't be for another 5 or so years!! Hang in there! we've all been through it... __________________ Brenda

11-14-2007, 06:29 AM	#59
Nikki+2 I heart Sugar Donating Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Florida Posts: 7,373	Checking in to see how everything went last night. Can't wait to hear about dinner. __________________ "If you have men who will exclude any of God’s creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men." — St. Francis of Assisi, 1181-1226

11-14-2007, 06:32 AM	#60
marycrank83 YT Addict Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Ohio Posts: 255	I have 5 boys!!!! but only a 19 yr. old and 13 yr. old at home now!! I promise you that this will work----- Everytime she mouths off to you-- you take her cell phone and tell her she can have it back tomorrow because if she cant speak nicely to you then she cant speak on her cell phone.... it took about a week of being very consistant with this but i saw each and everyone of those boys suddenly stopping and thinking before it came out of their mouths---of course they still had there moments of mouthing off but boy they hated me taking their cell phone and they learned self control!!!! good luck