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Old 05-26-2007, 09:56 AM   #1
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Default Goodbye to our sweet Lexxi

I don't know if I can type through the tears...so I apologize now. My husband and I just made the hardest decision we've ever made I think. Just an hour ago, we laid our Lexxi to rest. She lost her fight to hydrocephalus after just 3.5 years of age. She was so robbed of a good and long life-it is so unfair! It all happened so fast that I didn't have time to come to you for support. She had stopped eating and was sooo sooo skinnny-bless her heart. I started syringe feeding her 3 days ago in hopes that would give her strength. I guess it was too late. She could barely stand up...and the poor thing walked in circles almost continuously, as a result of the hydro-and she still tried but fell and would just stay were she fell-usually on her peepad. My husband said to me yesterday "Lexxi had a tear in her eye and told me she doesn't feel good" - you can imagine how the tears fell to hear him say this. However, HE (ray) was the one who could not be convinced that this was the best thing for her. We took her to the dr late yesterday for some meds to possibly stimulate her appetite and for a shot under her skin to hydrate her. I ran to baby's r us and bought a crib bumber for her cage because she kept walking into the rails head first. Just after we went to bed, she started having a seizure but she was still walking, pushing her head down into any corner she'd come to. She lost control of her bladder and all. My husband wrapped her in a blanket and slept the entire night with her on his chest. I took over at 5:30am so he could run to work. He came back at 8am and she had had at least 8 seizures in my arms while he was gone. I called the dr and we knew what we had to do.
You cannot imagine how that drive to the dr was. You aren't supposed to plan your babies death. It was so hard knowing we were on our way to do this. We question ourselves if we did it too soon. She cried and howled all the way there. When we arrived they put us in a room with a comforter on a table. They explained the process and took her for the catheder. They brought her back and let us be alone with her. When we were ready, we called the dr in and she began. We said a prayer for her and talked to her. They gave her something to sedate her first. And then the anesthesic. She passed so quietly and peacefully. Like she didn't even have one breath left in her to give...she didn't elimate either and I'm sure there was nothing in there. We covered her tiny, frail body up with her blanket and they escorted us out. I cant get the image out of my head. I am making myself sick. And my poor husband sobbed right along with me. We are having her cremated and her remains back with us.
Poor little angel went through so much in her short life. The whole story is sad. I know she is in a better place now, but it wasn't fair. And it surely doesn't make it easier. The house is quiet, even with Vixxen, Truffles and Gemma running around.
And just yesterday I wrote about Papi and that I never visit this section of the forum, because I'm not that strong. And here I am.
Please send a prayer to her for us. We love her and miss her already.
Thank you for listening to my story. RIP our little Lexxi Angel....
Trina
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Old 05-26-2007, 10:17 AM   #2
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I ended that without saying thanks to Patti, Baby Blessing. She caught a comment I made yesterday and called to comfort and pray for me. I am really grateful for your concern and compassion-and I know you understand full well what I'm going through.
Again, I thank you for the calls and emails. God Bless you.
Trina
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Old 05-26-2007, 10:27 AM   #3
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I am so sorry for your heartbreak at the loss of Lexxi.
Lexxi is no longer suffering and is whole again. It is very
sad that she was so young, much to young to die. It is not
an easy task to make the call to put your beloved pet down,
I know because I have done it 3times but always kept in mind
that I was helping them be free of pain and held them tightly to me.
I am sure she has left you with wonderful memories and I am sending
a prayer out to both of you that your hearts heal soon and you are left
with just those wonderful memories of Lexxi. Think of the ones where
she made you laugh and the silly things that she would get into. Those
memories will last a life time.

Hugs,
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Old 05-26-2007, 10:32 AM   #4
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oooh i am soo sorry for your loss, you must be soo heartbroken, but just think ...you did the right thing, and Lexxi is no longer feeling bad, and watching and playing with all the other Yorkie Angels till you meet again ! Hugs !!!
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Old 05-26-2007, 10:39 AM   #5
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Aww, my heart is breaking for you. I understand how hard your decision was as we've had to come to that conclusion ourselves in the past. The drive to the vet is a painful experience that no one should ever have to endure. Love up the three you have at home, and try to imagine her running and playing and not hurting anymore. You did the right thing and you stopped her from more needless suffering. Bless you.
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Old 05-26-2007, 10:52 AM   #6
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Im so sorry, RIP Sweet Baby. Sending prayers your way.
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:07 AM   #7
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Trina
I am so sorry about this. I have cried my eyes out when I read your story. I can understand your pain even if I had never gone through this. My baby boy was sick, very sick, so I thought I will loose him. But you did the right thing for your little baby, and your husband as well. I am sharing your suffering and I am praying that Lexxi has reached Rainbow Hill safe and is now playing with all the other puppies. Cremation is the best thing I think as it allows you to have them with you for the rest of your life. Stay safe both you and your husband and love the babies that you have left like there's no tomorrow. We are all praying for your family and Lexxi.
RIP little Lexxi
(You were lucky to have the best mommy and daddy ever)
Maria
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:23 AM   #8
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I am in a million tears here reading this I had read your previous posts about Lexxi's seizures and hydrocephalus, and that condition just absolutely breaks my heart. We are here for you, and I can imagine how hard it was for you to make that decision. Don't doubt yourself for this.
You did what you felt was right in your heart and Lexxi's heart. I'm sure she is grateful for everything that you did for her. Your poor baby had a horrible condition that was not curable, and you and your husband were such wonderful parents to her. She had a wonderful life with you two and you did a terrific job for her.
She's in heaven now, happy and no longer suffering.
She will always be your baby, and she will watch over you like a sweet little guardian angel.
Take care of yourself, and we give you our deepest sympathies...
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:30 AM   #9
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I'm so... sorry for your loss. Like other's have said, I too have had to make that decision and it's one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. But you made the right one. Lexxi is no longer in pain and waiting for you at the Rainbow Bridge when you all meet again someday. Sending prayers to you and your hubby. Lexxi did die too young, but you gave her a wonderful life in those 3 and a half years that she lived.
Take Care...
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:36 AM   #10
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My heart goes out to you and Ray for the loss of little Lexxi. It is the hardest thing there is to do. And as much as it hurts right now, you have to think of Lexxi and what she was going thru. She is smiling down at you now from her little perch on the bridge and thanking you for easing her pain. She will keep watch over you and the rest of her family until she can be reunited with you all again. I'll keep you all in my thoughts and prayers and God's Peace be with you.
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:41 AM   #11
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Iam so so very sorry for your loss r i p baby, my heart is also breaking for you as i have had to let a baby go 3 yrs ago and it was so hard,but you did what was best for her even though you feel so empty and sad inside please know she loves you and is in peace now
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:42 AM   #12
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My sympathy to you and your husband...I have tears in my eyes, and a lump in my throat, my nose is dripping and I don't even know what to say. Lexxi's life was too short, you've done all that you could for her, she was deeply loved and she will be surely missed. Rest In Peace little girl...Rest In Peace.
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:47 AM   #13
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I just wanted to tell you that I am praying for you and your husband, may you soon find peace and comfort knowing you did the right thing and that Lexxi has finally found her peace too. She will always be with you until you meet again
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:50 AM   #14
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Oh God Trina, I am so sorry. I am literally sitting here sobbing after reading your post. I am just so, so very sorry Lexxi was so adorable and it is so obvious how much you guys loved her. But now she is no longer suffering and is in a better place. Meaning that she is comfortable now, and is resting with the angels. I am saying so many prayers for you guys right now...I can literally feel the pain you are in as I have been there. Again, I am so very sorry to hear this Trina. My heart is just breaking for you guys. You and Ray are in my constant thoughts and prayers
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Old 05-26-2007, 11:53 AM   #15
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Default thank you everyone

I knew you'd be here for me. I can't stop this uncontrollable crying and each time i read a reply, it starts all over. I thank you from the bottom of my aching heart. I know it will get better and I know we let her go unselfishly, but I still can't believe we had to do it, and right now, today, the pain is very deep. My husband emptied her food and water bowls and picked up her peepad. Her cage is empty except for her heated bed and blanket - and now the pink crib bumper that I put around it for her head. It feels as though things can't be the same - even if she didn't have the life a dog should have, she still had her own quirky ways that Ray and I understood....
Memorial Day will always bring a tear to my eye for a new reason now....
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