Hello everyone, i just got back from my parents and burying Zackie. I got there around 7:15 and dug his grave in the corner of their backyard. It is a really peaceful area. the guy came with the casket about 30 minutes later. He gave it to me and I carried Zackie to the backyard. I asked if i could look at Zack and he said he was ok to look at. After the guy left with his wife, it was just me and my parents. i opened the casket and started to cry (as did my mother). I asked my parents if they could leave me alone wiht Zack for awhile, which they did. I pet his head and his body and spoke to him for about 20 minutes. I told him how much I loved him, how much i missed him, that i would never forget him, that he was my best friend, and how sorry i was for what happened. i told him that i'd always love him and how hard this is on me. lastly, i said goodbye. i was pouring tears the entire time. Finally, i knew it was time so i had my parents come back out and i pet zackie's head one last time, and sealed his casket. We put him in the ground and put dirt on him. Finally, i put a large rock for a tombstone, until i can get him a proper one.

Anyway, that was my final goodbye to my best friend. I will love him and miss him forever. i hope that this gets easier over time. i have finally started eating again, at least.

-Allan

Allan, that had to be incredibly hard. Only time will heal.

RIP little Zackie:rbyorkie:

Good grief I am bawling. I am just so sad for you and I know tonight was one of the hardest things you've had to do. It sounds like you gave little Zackie and wonderful place to rest. I want to say more but I literally cannot see through the tears....My deepest sympathies and prayers to you Allan-
Big hugs~Trina

Bless you, Allan, your wife and famiy. I thought today about you before I read your note tonight, and remembered when Sophie died, I put everything away. Her dishes, toys, leash, coat so I wouldn't have to look at them. But as the shock wore off, I returned her dishes to their place, toys in the corner and hung her coat back her hanger. Her coat still hangs on the rack, her leash is in my dresser and her toys sit in the corner of the laundry room.

When it is time and you have grieved more, all of Zack's things can be moved to a special place so you can look at them from time to time.

Such a painful time for you, Allan and keep writing all of your thoughts and feelings. You are safe here, no one will judge you.

Time will ease the pain but I was broken hearted for weeks. So glad you will be able to go and visit Zack's special place of rest.

Warmly, Deborah

Dear Allen,
I am so sorry for your loss. I thank you for sharing your grief with us and for sharing the last minutes you spent with your best friend and loved yorkie Zack. It is only proper to grieve and perfectly alright to be sad. I will be praying for you, your wife and family, so that the pain of lossing your best friend will pass very quickly. Let the memories of the happy years that your lovable Zack spent with you ease the pain.
God Bless.
Lita

Zack is now truly a yorkie:littleang

I just cried over Zachies story again...people at work think Im wacky...I read these posts and cry everytime......My heart is with you Allan.....

Allan, You and Zack have touched so many lifes here on YT and beyond, b/c I know that all of us are sharing your story with family and friends. I wish I could take your pain away, Zack wants your pain to go away too.

He is with you everyday, listen and I am sure you'll be able to hear his breath on your neck, he's telling you that he is ok, he is telling you that this is not your fault, he is telling you that he loves you more than anything, he is telling you that he will NEVER leave your side, he is telling you to get some sleep and to eat, he telling you to please take care of yourself, he is telling you that you are the BEST Dad, he is telling you that he will be waiting for you and until that day he is playing with his Yorkie friends who have also crossed.

...Dear God, Please help Allan heal
:hands: :hands: :hands: :hands: :hands:

TLC, that was one of the nicest messages i have ever read (although it made me break down yet again). In fact, everyone on Yorkietalk has been so kind, with such beautiful words for over the past days. This has been one of the hardest times of my life, but being able to post my story, and my ongoing feelings has made it a tiny bit easier. I still miss my Zack more than I thought possible, but knowing that so many people are thinking about him makes me feel good all over. I don't think I will ever get over my loss of Zack, but he knows that I love him and that I miss him more than anything in the world.

Thanks to everyone (yet again),
Allan

I'm crying again too Allen...:( :( :( :(

You have friends if you ever need to talk ....I've had you and little Zack on my mind all week since reading your post and am keeping you close to my heart....which is just breaking for you. He was a very lucky boy to have so much love in his life and I'm just so so sorry about what happened. Sending you another hug and please try to take care of yourself...I'm worried about you and will be praying one day soon you'll be able to smile again.

Allan,
I was just telling you the truth. I lost a person so very close to me, and the only thing that keeps me to together is my 'talk' with him. If I listen closly I can hear him talking to me too, and we always end our conversations with:
"I'll see you soon Babe"

I am a strong believer in our souls living in eternity, and those who are close to us and those who have touched our lives here on earth will be with us in that eternity.

You and Zack have a bond and a love that will never break, you may not have this time to spend together here on earth, but you WILL spend your ETERNITY together, that's a promise ;)

Try to think positive. Zack is not in any pain, he is free and he is playing with his new Yorkie friends, he is not alone, because the LOVE that you have for him crosses the boarder and wraps around him to protect him ALWAYS and FOREVER :)

Allan,
I just don't know what to say that has not been said already. Just know that all of us are here for you at anytime.
I'm extremely sorry for your loss of your little angel on earth.......

He is just beautiful, Allan. Writing in a journal, every day will help you through this journey in your life. Thinking of you and sending comforting thoughts.

I am so sorry to read this, it hurts my heart and I can't imagine how you feel. Only time heals all wounds but there is always sorrow when you think of what & how it happened. Remember that the good memories bring the joys back into your heart. It's always the "remember the times" Zack did this & that which makes the fond memories of Zack so heart fulfilling. Know that he has crossed the rainbow bridge playing amoungst other beloved pets. Know that he thinks about you and your family and knows that he was and is loved. Know that he will be waiting anxiously with the little tail wagging for you to come get him one day.:) God bless!

Bless your heart and bless that little Zack's heart. :littleang
:angelyork I know exactly how you feel. It is hard to deal with the pain. you are in our prayers.

Today was a pretty hard day from me - Saturday is ussually "Zackie day" for me. We typically spend the entire day together. My wife and I will typically have breakfast and then play a game. Zack is usually sitting on the floor next to me while we eat, and then climbs on my lap while we play. Then, I typically take Zack for a long walk, and by the time it is over, he is so tired, that he just goes to his bed and passes out. But, today, we just sort of sat around and did nothing. Honestly, Zack was never a big barker (he would onlybark for 1 minute each night when i got home from work and was walking up the stairs) but our apartment was so quiet. Not to use a cliche, but the silence was deafening. I missed him so much this weekend. One other memory that i will always have of my puppy is the following. Every Fri night after work, I would come home and get zack and we'd walk a few blocks to this market that let him in and buy a few items for the weekend. Crazy as it seems, it was a hilight of the week for me. This past Friday night, my wife walked with me to the market. It felt so different and I missed him so much. I haven't been able to go upstairs and watch tv after my wife goes to sleep since that is what I always did wiht Zack. That was one of the parts of the day that i always looked forward to. Zack would either sit on my lap, on the couch next to me, or copy our cat, and sit on top of the backrest or armrest. He was cute and it is still really hard without him.

I guess that is the latest update for now.

-Allan

I am SO sorry for your loss. How tragic for you and your family.

That is what was so difficult for me also, Allan. The quiet and our routine was no longer. I remember following another Yorkie down the street, after telling the owner so she wouldn't think I was a "nut" about Sophie, asking if I could pet her pup. The longing to feel her fur again was overwhelming. I also cried while I walked back to work. Those were extremely difficult days, dark and lonely.

Take good care and know that others have walked in your same path, so you are not alone. -Deborah

Ohhh Allen, I'm so so so sorry sweetie. I don't know what to say, I'm just so deeply sorry. I can feel your pain, how hard this is for you and your wife. Ohhhh Zakie, RIP baby, I know you have lots of furry friends up in this special place where you are, I know you will watch over your mommy and daddy and you know how much they love you and miss you.

Bless your heart, I'm just so sorry.

Prayers and hugs,
Missy

Allan, I relate all too well to that silence you refer to.

When we lost our first Yorkie, coming home from work that first day and not being greeted by the crazy barking and a squeaky toy was as devastating as the experience of putting him down. (He had cancer.)

I couldn't imagine ever having another one. In fact, I strongly resisted getting one. The horrible end experience consumed me and I felt there was no way I could do that again, EVER.

At the end of the first week after Scruffy's death, I got suckered into "looking" at puppies. When the breeder offered me a puppy to hold, I reluctantly accepted ... and the rest is history. I think of it more as Ozzie picked me as he lovingly nuzzled my shoulder for hours as we looked at puppies, looked at their parents and negotiated. It became pretty clear pretty quick that I wasn't going home without him!

Ozzie and Scruffy are like night and day. But each came with their own blessings and idiosyncrasies and I feel fortunate for having both in my lifetime.
I don't know what your experience would be, but I can guarantee you tow things:

First, you will NEVER replace Zack. But when you feel the time is right, definitely do yourself a favor and get a new little friend to channel some of that love into.

Second, you will not only have a place to send that love that you currently can't direct, you will get so much love back.:love:

Good luck to you as you learn how to deal with this tremendous loss. Thoughts and prayers are with you from many YTers who have lost their furry friends, too.

i'm very sorry for your loss!

gosh...i am just so sorry for you. my heart breaks for you right now. i know you are hurting so badly and i just pray that you will find confort in knowing that your baby is in heaven. he is still with you always, just not the way you are used to. i am so sorry for your loss, and i will be praying for you!

Thanks again. Everything is still hard and I still miss my Zackie. The house is just so quiet. I miss going upstairs in the middle of the night and seeing Zackie sitting on his bed, looking at me as I walked up the stairs. He never ever slept!!!! I miss his smile.

I truly hope this starts getting easier soon.

Allan

Allan, I don't know why I'm just seeing this now, but I am so very, very sorry for your loss. :( I love the name you gave him, Zackie. That was so... cute. I got very teary reading all these posts, especially the one you wrote about burying Zackie. I know you said you want to get a stone for Zackie's grave. A bunch of us YT'er went together and got a very nice stone for Connie whose mother died and I just bought a memorial stone from this company. They do wonderful work. Their website is www.rockitcreations.com Just a suggestion. Whatever kind of memorial you get for Zackie I'm sure will be nice.
You take care and know that we are all thinking of you. Rest In Peace dear Zackie. :rbyorkie:

I'm so sorry about your baby Zackie. What a cute little guy he was. Please don't feel guilty...your little guy would only want you to remember the good times you were fortunate enough to share together. Keep him alive in your heart and thoughts and he'll give you the strength you need to overcome this. Nothing will ever replace your little boy, but maybe with time you can get him a little brother or sister to keep you company in this world.

Hi, it has been over a week. It still has not fully hit me that I will never see my Zackie again. I still miss him so much. I miss him greeting me when I get home from work; waiting for me to come upstairs in the morning; playing together; and, most of all, our walks together. I miss his sweet personality and loving nature. I miss his unconditional love. I his jumping into my arms.

I just wish he were was still with me. I haven't cried in a few days, but thinking about Zack now has made me really upset again. He was such an adorable little puppy. (Even though he was nearly 2, he was still my puppy. In fact, he was going to be my puppy forever - no matter how old he got.)

Allan

Sooo sorry for your loss... I know there is no words to describe the pain it is hard and it will take time to ... Just think about all the wonderful times you had together. It makes me cry to see this.

What a beautiful baby! Senseless accidents are so hard to accept in our hearts! Im so sorry this happened to Zachie. You are definately in my thoughts and prayers. I lost a baby to a senseless accident almost 2 years ago and although I still miss his sweet little face, like Im sure I always will, I now smile when I think of him instead of cry. Time will heal your pain.

Rip Zachie, you were a lucky pup and you are very loved and missed!

My thoughts are with you and your wife, please do not blame yourselves, this was a terrible accident and i feel for you so much.
I am suffering a great loss myself as i have just lost my 14 year old Yorkie, and i can understand the pain you are going through right now.
I said goodbye to my baby 8 days ago today and even though it still hurts i feel i am over the worst and i am starting to remember all the goodtimes i had with my baby and how lucky i was to have had her in my life.
you will not feel like this forever, things will get better i promise.

sending love to you, kerry x

Hello.. sweetie.. It will never be gone.. It just gets less painful... But know you will see your little guy again.. This is what I live for as I know they are their waiting for my coming.. I get tears when ever I think of any of my kids that are no longer with us.. They are the joy of our lives.. Fill a void nothing else can.. I could never just have one.. It would be too awful to not have other around that you love and can hug and kiss on.. They all have simular traits which helps the healing process that no other breed has in my book.. Mine live long lives which I feel is such a blessing..to me and the other people that own my dogs.. Even though they are not in my house I feel they are still my kids..

God Bring you confort and peace and know you were a wonderful mom to your little boy..:aimeeyork