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10-06-2014, 01:49 PM | #16 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Carolina
Posts: 207
| Oh gosh my heart breaks for you and the loss of your baby Marley. I am so very sorry that you have had to face such a tragic accident. Like you, I had to face the hard and devastating truth that my little October had passed away from an accident as well. She left us on 4-14-13, and it was the hardest day, following months and year of my life. I had never experienced such grief until her loss. I had never cried so hard and for so long. Please know that this was not your fault. You were as careful as you could have been, its just that our babies are so small and sometimes accidents just happen...there is no explanation or reason, its just the sad sad part of life sometimes. I blamed myself for so long for my October passing away - I should have paid more attention, I should have been holding her, she shouldn't have been there....but still, none of my "what ifs" helped me cope with losing her. So I had to let go of the "what ifs" and start focusing on the fact that she was in no more pain, and that I would see her again. I also focused my attention on our other little ones, who also needed their mom. They missed me so during that terrible hour in my life, so please remember to focus on your darling, Izzy - as I know you have. I am so sorry for this loss! The pain will become bearable one day, even though from my own experience it feels like a lifetime away. I am so very sorry
__________________ Oli Cocoa Graycie Pinky "...love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." October Peanut |
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10-06-2014, 05:49 PM | #17 |
YT 500 Club Member | Thank you very much. Today is my birthday and I've probably only cried three times so far. I'm doing good.we got a male pup, cause I figured if I got a female I would only expect her to live up to everything Marley was. So in order to avoid disappointment , I adopted my Sumo yorkie, Toby. He does have the same coloring as Marley , so she's never ever far from my thoughts. I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive myself completely. It haunts me. I still cannot move my furniture around myself. I get paralyzed with fear at the thought. I have to take Izzy , and now Izzy and my Sumo Yorkie, out of the house completely or lock them outside in the enclosure I built for them so I know they are absolutely safe before someone can move anything remotely heavy more than two inches . Or I freak out and panic. I still carry her service dog I.d with me. Hell, I agreed to take Toby because he'd be a bit bigger and less likely to crawl into precarious spaces unnoticed. Most people aspire for the smallest and now I am just happy with my Sumo yorkie. I call him that because he's half her age and bigger than her already. I still slip up and call Izzy Marley sometimes. But I'm at least coming out of my fog enough to straighten my house up more often and don't spend all day in bed in the dark. Sometimes I open the windows now. And sometimes I actually get out of bed and leave the house now. So I guess I am getting better. But then sometimes I feel like the depression is part of my penance, and I feel guilty when I think I'm doing better. I don't know, I change emotions so often I can't tell where I am at real good. But I'm better than I was for sure. Thank you for thinking of me. |
10-07-2014, 04:11 PM | #18 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: North Carolina
Posts: 207
| I hope that you had a wonderful birthday! Even though I know it was a hard day, I hope you were able to enjoy it. And congratulations on your baby Toby! I understand not wanting to get another little girl, and it sounds as though he is fitting in perfectly! I know the feeling of being worried after an accident -- to this day I am still overly protective (somewhat paranoid) and I worry so much. I find myself checking and double checking my girls all the time. I guess its just part of being a furmom though LOL. When we adopted our Yorkie, Oli, I constantly called her October. And sometimes, I still slip up. They remind me of one another. Don't feel bad for feeling better! You deserve to smile again and be happy! I know that Marley would also want you to be doing well. I am so glad to hear that you are doing better. Every day you'll continue to get better and it will be a little easier. Hugs to you!!!
__________________ Oli Cocoa Graycie Pinky "...love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." October Peanut |
10-07-2014, 08:05 PM | #19 |
YT 2000 Club Member | dog I am so sad your little Marley is not with you. Sure wish I knew why accidents have to happen and why our dear Yorkies are taken sometimes so soon. Every time I hand one of my precious dogs over to the Lord I cry for a long time. I am comforted knowing that He sees all and that not a bird falls to the ground that the Lord doesn't know about it. Marley is there with my Teddy who left us too soon. I will always tear up when I think of him. he was the neatest lil ball chaser and friend. I know I have to give back the gifts I am given in this life, my family, friends and pets. I also know the love I have been given from them will never go away and one day I will be heading to heaven and see them all again. My hope is strong, even though my heart is sad. |
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