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Old 10-15-2005, 10:49 PM   #1
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Default Our little angels

Our grief for the loss of our compaions are so hard to take. Also, to explain to someone who has not had the experience of losing a Yorkie or any animal.. You just cannot explain how hard your heart hurts and how big the hole that is left for them.
Some of us have to make the dreaded decision but that is one last gift we can give them-the gift of freedom from pain and suffering. The last winter that my Jesse lived, he was hospitalized 3 times with pneumonia. He was a little less himself each time. The vet and I discussed making the decision to see if placing him in a home where he could be the only one and not be stressed by other dogs and everything would center around him. I tried 2 times with my vet's blessing to place him. First time, we went and brought him home. Second time, I gave him to a family and once again he became ill and was returned.. I took him to my vet and his illness was just wiping him out; my vet and I decided that we needed to follow thru our promise to him the year before. Thru many tears and blessings, I brought him home for his last night on the earth. He slept on my chest all night and I prayed that God would take him in his sleep and I would not have to make the decision to end his suffering. Oh, how he suffered to breathe. My vet wanted to take him into the treatment areas so that all who were there and knew him (there were many) could say goodbye. She came back into the room and asked me thru her tears, did I want her to do the procedure in another room. I told her no and that I owed him the comfort of drawing his last breath is my arms. I asked her if she needed one of the others to do it cause she was crying as hard as I. She said she had been with him thru all of his admissions and had to be there with him for this. It was so wonderful how easy he went. Not a sound-just his wee heart stpped. The vet gave me
a lock of his hair tied with a tiny white bow and a wee plaster of paris print of his right fromnt paw. His pic hangs over my puter screen and I talk to him when I sit here.
The good thing is that we know we have done all we can,and should,for our babies and not everyone agrees with our decisions. In Jesse's case we were all in agreement that his body needed to leave us.
I just heard that a statement was made that I didn't care for my "dogs" and that some test or something wasn't done or I had refused to have some treatment done. I just had to sit and write this to vent and to say that if ever there were a dog who was worshipped it was my Jesse. His body told us it was time to "give up the ghost!" and if there is a doubt about when that decision was made, I am alright with my and my vets' choices.. He is still missed and loved and if he could come back not suffering, I would give all that I have to care for him.
Now, I have Cara Mia who is not one thing like Jesse but she is a comfort to me..
Thanx for letting me vent..you have been such good supporters on this forum and I know I can count on y'all in times of need..Thank you for your compassion..
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Old 10-16-2005, 02:07 AM   #2
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I am very sorry for your loss . This is never easy to say goodbye to those little ones . I'll be praying for you .
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Old 10-16-2005, 04:16 AM   #3
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Rini...I felt like I was almost right there and cried thru your post. I can say from personal knowlege how much you love and adored your Jesse and this was the biggest show of love from you to him - We have to be strong enough for our babies to let them go to Rainbow Bridge... where there is only joy and peace....and you loved him enough to let him go....

I also have little Jesse's pictures on MY computer ...he was a special little angel and just so adorable and I know how much you miss him....

Rest in Peace Sweet Jesse....your mommy misses you something terrible.... but I know you are playing with all the other little RB angels and you are keeping a good eye on her.....Rini...I hope YOU are feeling better too.....This was a beautiful tribute to your little angel

HERE is Whispersmom's little Angel .....Jesse
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Old 10-16-2005, 04:52 AM   #4
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Oh, Rini your post brought tears to my eyes. it is obvious how much you love and miss Jesse. It is always hard to let go of a baby, but when it comes to that we only do it for love. I really hope you are feeling better too. Jesse knows you love him, and he loves you. I really believe he's at the Rainbow Bridge waiting for you, and until the time you come to get him he'll be watching over you. Rest In Peace
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Old 10-16-2005, 05:01 AM   #5
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Rini, there will always be a "when" for all of us rather than an "if". I only pray that when that day comes for us, we will have your strength and love. It has to be the hardest decision of your life! God bless you!
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Old 10-16-2005, 06:03 AM   #6
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My heart just ached reading your story about your Jesse. Your unselfish act of love and compassion is far and beyond expression.

Bless you.
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Old 10-16-2005, 06:47 AM   #7
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Rini, I'm a blubbering fool right now. What a heart breaking story. Jesse will be remembered by so many and I cannot imagine ever having to make that decision, but I know that one day I will. You are an awesome person and whoever said that doesn't know you at all. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I need to go blow my nose now.
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Old 10-16-2005, 07:39 AM   #8
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Rini,
I have only known you a short while and yet already know that you want only the best for all of your dogs. You did all that you could for little Jesse and then found the strength within yourself to do what was best for him. That is something that so many people, including myself, have not yet had to do. Please do not pay any mind to the heartless fools out there who feel that they have the right to judge others when they obviously don't have a clue. Sometimes the hardest, yet most loving thing to do is to let go and allow these angels to go to their forever home. While we all would love to hold out in hopes of finding a cure for those who are terminally sick, it takes unselfish love to learn to let go and allow them the peace they so deserve. We are all here for you and pray that your heart mends quickly. Know that Jesse is watching over you and patiently awaiting your reunion. Meanwhile, he is probably scarfing down all of the Pup-a-Roni and I Can't Believe It's Not Bacon snacks (you know, all of the oh so bad stuff you lovingly kept from him) until you get there and switch him back to the good stuff!
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Old 10-16-2005, 08:10 AM   #9
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Rini....
Thank you for this beautiful post. I have had to put several dogs (and cats) to sleep over the years and it never gets any easier. Your post brought back the feelings I had at the time, each time. I know how you feel, but I am glad you have others to take some of the pain away. You expressed exactly how I have felt and have not been able to put into words. I remember each and every one of them as you will Jesse. But it does get better with time. Not that you won't miss him, but the pain will be softer and easiier to bear.
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Old 10-16-2005, 08:39 AM   #10
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Cry You are in my Prayers

Rini, I am so sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I have been in your situation, but it was my cat of 14 years. Not, only dealing with the loss of Jesse having to put up with a callous remark it totally uncalled for, you are going through enough pain. We all have to make difficult decisions in life and to me it only expresses how much you loved your Jesse!!!! Rest in Peace little Jesse, I know you know your Mommie Loved you. Jesse you are in a better place & always will be in your Mommies heart & thoughts, never forgotten !!
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Old 10-16-2005, 11:14 AM   #11
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I thank each one of you for your response. I am sorry if it sounded as if this has just happened but the fact is, he has been gone almost a year. Pat, from Primrose, was his grandmom and her boy, Shorty, was his dad. We repeated that breeding 3 or 4 more times and never got another Jesse face. That shows what a special guy he was....A friend has a female that looks so much like him that when I look at their pics, I have to check out the floor..We both have pegged floors but the board width is different. I tried to steal Willow last Thursday..I got busted..
Again, thank each and every on of you for your compassion and support. I am not going to allow any negative feelings mar my love for that little boy. I have pics of his last kiss with his daddy and I still can only glance at it...any long looks and I am blubbering again...
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Old 10-16-2005, 01:53 PM   #12
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Oh im so sorry for your loss. and I know how you feel. we have lost a few of our fur-babies to. and the sadness never seems to go away.
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Old 10-16-2005, 03:57 PM   #13
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My heart aches for you! I felt like I was there with you reading that post. I have never lost a baby and cannot pretend to know how it feels but I can tell you made the right decision and Jesse is in heaven playing and feeling like a puppy again! We will all meet him one day and that I am excited for!
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Old 10-16-2005, 04:42 PM   #14
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Cry

I've been there and I understand the pain. It never seems to fade. Some days it hurts more than other days. There always seems to be that one special one. Little Jesse was your special one. Mine was Muffin. There is something about the "special one's" and that is not something that you can easily define, but they seem to always be so insync with you. They love you as much as you love them. You don't need to say the words anymore, because you each know what the other one is going to do. To make such a decision is heartwrenching to say the least. It is never easy, but only you can know if it is the best decision. The love comes so easily. It's the letting go that hurts so very much.
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Old 10-18-2005, 09:17 PM   #15
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Oh Rini...I cried reading your story. My heart goes out to you, having gone through that. I have been there and know how bad it hurts and how lonely it is without them, but you showed nothing but love by doing what you did. I can't imagine that anyone would criticize you for an act of love. Shame on them! Bless your heart! *HUG*
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