[whispersmom2]

Our grief for the loss of our compaions are so hard to take. Also, to explain to someone who has not had the experience of losing a Yorkie or any animal.. You just cannot explain how hard your heart hurts and how big the hole that is left for them.
Some of us have to make the dreaded decision but that is one last gift we can give them-the gift of freedom from pain and suffering. The last winter that my Jesse lived, he was hospitalized 3 times with pneumonia. He was a little less himself each time. The vet and I discussed making the decision to see if placing him in a home where he could be the only one and not be stressed by other dogs and everything would center around him. I tried 2 times with my vet's blessing to place him. First time, we went and brought him home. Second time, I gave him to a family and once again he became ill and was returned.. I took him to my vet and his illness was just wiping him out; my vet and I decided that we needed to follow thru our promise to him the year before. Thru many tears and blessings, I brought him home for his last night on the earth. He slept on my chest all night and I prayed that God would take him in his sleep and I would not have to make the decision to end his suffering. Oh, how he suffered to breathe. My vet wanted to take him into the treatment areas so that all who were there and knew him (there were many) could say goodbye. She came back into the room and asked me thru her tears, did I want her to do the procedure in another room. I told her no and that I owed him the comfort of drawing his last breath is my arms. I asked her if she needed one of the others to do it cause she was crying as hard as I. She said she had been with him thru all of his admissions and had to be there with him for this. It was so wonderful how easy he went. Not a sound-just his wee heart stpped. The vet gave me
a lock of his hair tied with a tiny white bow and a wee plaster of paris print of his right fromnt paw. His pic hangs over my puter screen and I talk to him when I sit here.
The good thing is that we know we have done all we can,and should,for our babies and not everyone agrees with our decisions. In Jesse's case we were all in agreement that his body needed to leave us.
I just heard that a statement was made that I didn't care for my "dogs" and that some test or something wasn't done or I had refused to have some treatment done. I just had to sit and write this to vent and to say that if ever there were a dog who was worshipped it was my Jesse. His body told us it was time to "give up the ghost!" and if there is a doubt about when that decision was made, I am alright with my and my vets' choices.. He is still missed and loved and if he could come back not suffering, I would give all that I have to care for him.
Now, I have Cara Mia who is not one thing like Jesse but she is a comfort to me..
Thanx for letting me vent..you have been such good supporters on this forum and I know I can count on y'all in times of need..Thank you for your compassion..