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11-19-2006, 01:48 PM | #16 |
YT 500 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 695
| My ex & I are both on Howie's akc paperwork. When we broke up originally we thought we would give the split custody thing a shot. It didn't work. Howie is with me full-time now and it took some time but he's basically forgotten all about my ex. If I were you, I would either keep both of the dogs or one of them. They don't seem like they've been together all that long to get super attached. Remember, you have rights to these dogs too! Best of luck to you.
__________________ Howie & Sarah Check us out on dogster: http://www.dogster.com/?327817 |
Welcome Guest! | |
11-19-2006, 02:19 PM | #17 |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Chattanooga, TN
Posts: 1,339
| if both of your names are on the paper, you CAN legally get a lawyer and fight her for them. I have heard of cases where one partner gets the dogs and the other has visitation rights. Or they even work it out like human kids. One parent has them this week or weekend and the other has them on the other week or weekend, etc. If you love these babies this much, I would consider fighting for them. I legally own all my dogs so it would never be an issue, but if it was I'd fight tooth and nail for every single one of them. They are my kids and I can't turn my back on them. Good luck in everything and let us know!
__________________ Liz Little Lotte , Bouncer, Lilli , Yodi |
11-19-2006, 03:01 PM | #18 | |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Canada
Posts: 3,617
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11-19-2006, 04:03 PM | #19 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
| Since the one is so young they would probably adjust to the split quickly. Especially if you each got a second one. Are the dogs closer to one of you than the other? I know it is going to be hard no matter what you do, but I believe that is the only fair way to do it. Or one of you buy one from the other partner so you can afford to get a new one. It's a tough one. Good luck on what ever you decide. |
11-19-2006, 06:00 PM | #20 |
BANNED FOR NOT MAILING PRODUCTS PURCHASED | I think since your partner is the one who wants to leave, and you are the one who signed, then why uproot the dogs and make them all nervous, they should get to stay in there home that they are used to. It's your partner who wants to leave, why make the dogs sad and take them away from there home? I would fight this one. Who was the one who wanted to get the dogs? Who's name is 1st on the paper? Maybe you can buy her out if she helped purchace them. |
11-19-2006, 06:42 PM | #21 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,111
| This must be hard!! When I left my husband I left him fast...I moved into a home where I couldnt take my cocker spaniel Denver and she was MY BABY!! He assured me he would keep her until I could find a home that would allow pets (a few months) and to be spiteful he GAVE HER AWAY!! I still keep in contact with the girl who got her...do you believe she wouldnt let me have her back?? I still cry for my denver and that was 4 years ago... If you and your partner arent splitting on good terms and 3 hours is quite far for 'joint custody', I suppose you could try the legal route...sounds like it will be quite messy and I wonder how seriously you will be taken in court?? If you know she is legally on the paperwork then it might be a waste of time and effort?? I dont know an easy solution. Would you consider getting yourself a new pup...to start a fresh new year with? Keeping intouch with your partner and hearing about the other two dogs through letters and pictures? I know you will miss them...gosh this is harder than I thought...there really is no easy answer to this one..im sorry your going through this..huge hugs.. Dawn |
11-19-2006, 09:19 PM | #22 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Frederick, Maryland
Posts: 100
| well destiny is the youngest (4 months) she loves me too deaf. She is more my baby then hers. Pooh (10months) he listens to her more but likes to play with me more. I think he loves both of us the same. But the two of them ( des and pooh) play together all the time. They never been apart. I dont know if splitting them is a good idea. Well i dont no whats a good idea??? |
11-20-2006, 02:46 AM | #23 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: USA
Posts: 2,992
| Well here goes.................... First of all - dogs can go back and forth quite happily. My daughter and her husband both work - and their dog is dropped off at his parent's house every day while they work. He's always excited to go and stay with them --- and excited when he is picked up to go back home. And, sometimes, when they go on a weekend trip - he stays longer. He is totally happy both places. (and, he has done this for years...!!) I truly believe that "well adjusted" dogs are happy wherever they are loved and well taken care of. I've mentioned before that my two dogs have "sleepovers" with some of my friends and relatives and their children and dogs. And - believe me - they have nothing but fun! BUT - as an earlier poster mentioned -- in your case (a couple breaking up) - it would certainly be better for the both of you to move on with no ties. Have the two of you considered going together and helping her get a new little puppy all her own? I think this would be the perfect and best solution for everyone. (Personally - if I were in your situation - so that I could keep the dogs, I would be willing to bear the entire cost of a new puppy for my friend --- after all - you would get to keep the two dogs you have - a small price to pay.) And - if the two of you do remain friends - perhaps your dogs can have an occasional "sleepover." If they're like mine - everyone would enjoy that! It's always nice to have a place where your dogs can visit - where you know they will be loved and well taken care of. Good luck - Carol Jean |
11-20-2006, 08:42 AM | #24 | |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 365
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__________________ : R.I.P. Jaxon (my puppyluv) R.I.P. Nico & Winnie Girl | |
11-21-2006, 04:03 AM | #25 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: USA
Posts: 2,992
| Tassibo - I hope you read all of my post - My point was that dogs can readily adjust to being with and visiting different people - let's make it a given that they are loved and well taken care of....at these different homes. Because -- I thought the situation here was that two people are breaking up - both of whom love the dogs... any abuse or not taking good care of the dogs didn't even enter my mind.... Nevertheless - I said that I thought the best possible solution would be for the girlfriend to get a new little puppy and have her own dog. ****** But - let's not forget that often when people break up or become divorced - they are able to stay friends. We have many of these situations in my family. **** And my daughter and her husband may be leaving their dog with his parents - but they are not the dog's grandparents. In fact, let's be honest - the dog doesn't know about such relationships. All he knows is that he has known them for a long time and they love and take good care of him so he loves them back and loves to spend time with them. And - he loves to come over here too. (I have taken care of him a few weekends myself.) When we start talking about relationships between dogs and people - I have to laugh at a recent post that said, "I am so worried - I'm getting my son neutered tomorrow...." Or the one that said, "We're going on vacation and we don't know where to leave our babies." Another - "My daughter has become agressive - and I can't afford a behavorial specialist." Truly - sometimes I have to go back and reread posts - because I'm not sure if they are talking about their children or their dogs...... and - sometimes, believe it or not - they are talking about their children - To each his own --- Carol Jean |
11-21-2006, 10:23 AM | #26 | |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 365
| Quote:
My apologies if offense was taken by my calling the parent's "grandparents." I obviously know they aren't literally the pooch's grandparents but a lot of people do look at dogs that way. I'm not stupid enough to think that when the dog is dropped off at their house he is thinking...oh, boy...grandma's house! That was just my way of saying that of course they are safe over there. They are the parents. I'm by no means a knowledgable breeder and true, this is my first ever Yorkie. But please give me more credit than that! You are right. To each his own. My grandma always said that opinions are like butt holes...EVERYBODY HAS ONE.
__________________ : R.I.P. Jaxon (my puppyluv) R.I.P. Nico & Winnie Girl | |
11-21-2006, 11:58 AM | #27 | |
YT Addict Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 364
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11-21-2006, 04:07 PM | #28 |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,890
| IMO, if your partner is the one who wants to leave, then YOU keep the babies.
__________________ Alycia Autumn Gizmo Maddie |
11-23-2006, 01:41 PM | #29 |
Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Costa Rica
Posts: 365
| Hope everything is working out!!!! Let us know how it does!!!
__________________ : R.I.P. Jaxon (my puppyluv) R.I.P. Nico & Winnie Girl |
11-23-2006, 03:56 PM | #30 | |
Donating YT 10K Club Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Alabama
Posts: 17,674
| Quote:
This is purely a personal decision that you must search your heart for the answer, however, you did ask and I'm with Willo .... if this person that you shared a special part of your life decides to give it all up -- well the furchildren are part of that. When you make choices in life you must live with the consequences of those decisions. The Yorkie kids will adjust no matter what you decide, I am more worried about YOU! Good luck and let us know how things turn out! | |
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