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07-07-2006, 12:44 AM | #1 |
Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: TX
Posts: 30
| just a thought... I read a comment today that made me remember something about YT from when I first discovered it. See, I haven’t been here to YT that long, I only found out about it a couple of months ago. As some would say, I “lurked” around here for a few weeks prior to signing up. It looked like a fascinating website to become part of, with all its educational information and various experiences with people and their yorkies. Even as intriguing as it was to me, I was hesitant to sign up and become a member. Of course eventually I did because I couldn’t help it, I fell madly in love with yorkies and anything to do with them. But why was I hesitant at first? As many have probably pointed out already, because - this is a public forum. You allow yourself to be exposed and let your thoughts be interpreted as whoever reads them wants to. Here, you allow yourself to be criticized for your beliefs or desires. There have been quite a few times when I have felt the need to tread around here with a certain cautiousness. Every comment susceptible to being persecuted in unfriendly manner because someone who read it, did not like your opinions. It’s not that I’m afraid of opposition because I do like to discuss my views and listen to other’s views. It’s just the way people express their views that at times, makes me feel this way. I have seen people be negative and say things that to me seem a bit hurtful. Sometimes someone just asks a simple question or advice and many jump in and reproach the person for not doing things “the right way.” It only makes me wonder, who really does know “the right way” to do things? And it makes me think how might that person be feeling now, have they left forever or will they stay just never comment anymore? Maybe the comment was meant to be helpful but it just came across as an insult? Who knows... People become afraid of being judged for their actions, so they hesitate to speak about a certain topic because of the type of response they are going to receive. It’s like a type of censorship or oppression for those who don’t think alike. The comment I read was about someone who recently received the great happiness of having a yorkie. But whenever she was asked about the weight of the yorkie she wouldn’t reply. It’s like she was afraid to answer because of what people would say. And it really shouldn’t have to be this way. Maybe I just need to grow a tougher skin and accept the good with the bad. But am I the only one who feels this way? Or does everyone feel such at ease that they’re comfortable talking about any topic? |
Welcome Guest! | |
07-07-2006, 01:00 AM | #2 |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
| Honey, let me tell you that I can't remember how many times I've posted a similar thing. You are absolutely right. I think we take for granted that newcomers know everything that we do...or they should know everything. When I came onto this forum I knew nada about Yorkies. I've learned so much here, and I'm thankful for it. Yes, some people jump down people's throats, but I really feel that most people aren't trying to be malicious on purpose. They are soooo set and feel so strongly about what they believe that sometimes it comes across the wrong way. It's very hard to interpret someone via words. Right? Honest to God, I try sooooo hard to keep the peace. Have I defended myself and been a bitch? Yes! But I make it a point not to purposely attack or make somebody feel like crap first...or at least I try. Cuz Lord knows when I start, it's hard to shut me up (okay ladies, no comments from the peanut gallery)! I haven't been here as long as a lot of people, but those who have, I feel a strong connection with a lot of them, and I can truly call them my friends (I'm not gonna list names cuz I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but you know who you are, ) I think that when you put a bunch of women (men aren't that catty) together, their thoughts and opinions go flying around. Each person wants to be right! But, you're correct...what is the right thing to do? That's why when someone asks a question that I may think is idiotic, I give my opinions in a nice way, and wish that person the best on their decision. I'm gonna get off my high horse now, but I want to say one last thing. I like you already, b/c you seem like a peacemaker like me! Glad to have you hear on YT!
__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" |
07-07-2006, 03:32 AM | #3 |
YT Addict Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Halifax, NS
Posts: 260
| I lurk a lot as well for the same reason. Many forums of all topics (probably most of them out there) have similar problems. I think (just my opinion) that it happens for a few reasons: -people read their own emotion into the words -people tend to feel more brave when they are not face to face and feel somewhat anonymous -it can be frustrating when people ask the same questions without trying the search function first and people continually take info from the loyal site users and then disappear -there are many schools of thought on every topic and when people are passionate about something and have been doing something the same way for years that works for them they are often not open to new ideas or ways of doing things. Just my two cents
__________________ Alexis, David and Punkin |
07-07-2006, 04:27 AM | #5 |
Phantom Queen Morrigan Donating Member | i agree with you, that kind of stuff happens all the time on public forums. I try not to let it get to me anymore. Its hard not to place your own emotions and tone into what others say and alot of time people misinterpret what others are saying. But there's too much good information on a forum like this to let the other stuff bother you. I post what i want, when i want, and if someone disagrees then so be it. I'm not gonna let my opinion not be heard or read anymore, because i've learned that its just as important as anybody elses, no matter what some may think. Post more, let your thoughts be known and more then likely not, your opinions will be welcome here. Most people are very open and accepting, and i hate to have someone feel they can't post what they want. I know the person you are talking about and i know how they feel, but they shouldn't have to feel that way or hide anything about their gorgeous yorkie no matter what size she is. Most of the time its not the owners fault, but people jump to conclusions and think what they want before they get the whole story. that's just human nature.
__________________ Kellie and Morgan |
07-07-2006, 04:48 AM | #6 |
YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,225
| people won't always agree on everything here, just like in real life. but you should take it with a grain of salt if you don't like it . life's to short to fret over what people say or post . |
07-07-2006, 04:57 AM | #7 |
I Love My Yorkies Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 37,147
| I have been flamed before but its not a reason not to post. There are many opinions and this is a public forum. There is also alot of good advice and sharing that goes on. Plus I think the written word comes accross harsher. I have seen many posts that I didnt think were attacking that the original poster did take as attacking. I really think most people just want to be helpful when they post
__________________ Chachi's & Jewels Mom Jewels http://www.dogster.com/?132431Chachi http://www.dogster.com/?132427 |
07-07-2006, 06:02 AM | #8 |
Peeka Boo I See You! Donating Member | I think for the most part everyone here tries to be helpful but there are several times when i've seen the same thing happen Ex.. the cattle puppies but there are going to be those heated topics that everyone has strong opinons on but you are right we all need to show understanding and compasion to help eachother instead of scaring everyone away who doesn't have the same opinon. Variety is the spice of life!!!
__________________ |
07-07-2006, 06:06 AM | #9 | |
YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: vestal
Posts: 1,289
| Quote:
This is life, I personally don’t sweat the small stuff. I have never cared what people think of me as I have always known it is more important, what I think of myself. In my opinion, it is not that you need a thicker skin as much as you need to understand that we are individuals, entitled by our very nature to think, feel, and behave in manners ruled and measured by our own individual experiences, genetics, maturity, intellect, and probably a whole host of other abilities or lack there of. I think the worst mistake to make in this life is to not be one’s self, unabashedly! Just my opinion. | |
07-07-2006, 06:23 AM | #10 | |
Mommy To 3 Poochies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New York
Posts: 8,287
| Quote:
__________________ Mommy Loves Codie, Tia & Baby Cali RIP My Precious Katie - I Love You | |
07-07-2006, 02:04 PM | #11 |
Yorkies Rock My World! Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,721
| Wow!! Lilygurl and SShaw, I just love the way you both write!! You are considerate, obviously well educated, and have a very succinct way of expressing yourselves. Bravo! This is a popular topic that pops up now and again (as Nicole said). It is so difficult sometimes for people to accept the fact that not everyone agrees with them, and the fact that others may have a completely different point of view seems to come as a bitter surprise. I see people post and I sit back and say "OH MAN it is going to HIT THE FAN now"!!! And I am usually correct. I have just gotten to know where the hot buttons are and why, but new people aren't always so lucky. One thing I have repeated over and over is that these things you are looking at are just WORDS. They aren't weapons or sharp objects of any kind. They cannot cause any lasting physical damage whatsoever. They can, however, wound in other ways IF and ONLY IF you let them. Put on your "word armor" if you are posting to any public forum. You will ALWAYS eventually need it! Most people are truly trying to help. But there will always be the flamers in the crowd. They are the instigators, the antagonizers, and the bearers of new ideas! Even if you are angered by them, they will STILL make you think. And that is what separates us from our pups and all the other animals. Our inate ability to reason. Let's all be as reasonable as we possibly can. Live and let live. Bygones. Man I love this forum!!
__________________ Glad Mom to Jasper, Wosie & Dreama, RIP sweet babies. |
07-07-2006, 02:16 PM | #12 | |
Donating YT 14K Club Member | Quote:
In all seriousness, I have also been afraid to post certain things for fear of getting my head ripped off, but I'm past that now. After you've been here a while, you'll see things come and see things go. One thing you'll notice is that sometimes (with YT being a public forum), you'll get trolls that come in and start wild and crazy threads. It's not just YT...there are so many different types of trolls that go after different types of forums. I am a member of other non-dog-related forums and you should see the trolls that come on there! Anyway, we don't have a whole lot of that anymore but they do come. Just hang in there!
__________________ As always...JMO (Just My Opinion) Kimberley | |
07-07-2006, 02:25 PM | #13 |
Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: May 2006 Location: OKLAHOMA
Posts: 229
| As sshaw said, and everyone else implied, "don't sweat the small stuff." And no matter how much we might feel differently at times, pretty much everything said on YT is small stuff. It may be helpful (or not), we may like it (or not), we may feel comforted (or NOT) - but in the greater scheme of things, it's all small stuff. In every thread that I've read that I felt went off in a wrong direction, there were always some posts that would have been helpful, enjoyable or comforting. In fact, I'd say that even in the worst cases, there are more positive posts than negative. Take what's positive and informative and use it. Ignore the rest. There ARE right answers and wrong answers, but it often happens that one of us might be wrong but deeply and sincerely believe that we're right. You'll just have to sort it out as best you can. No matter how hard we might try to be otherwise, most of us will occasionally write something that comes across negative - even when our intentions are very positive. Stick around. You WILL get a lot out of this forum. |
07-07-2006, 02:32 PM | #14 | |
Learn Yorkie CPR! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 6,855
| Quote:
__________________ Nicole & Baby "The more men I meet, the more I love my Yorkie!" | |
07-07-2006, 02:43 PM | #15 | |
Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member | Quote:
I think we'll always have all sorts of posts here - but we have ALL sorts of people - it keeps it interesting. Imagine a forum where people ALL agree ALL the time ? That would get kind of boring .... I do think we need to tread lightly especially with new people - there certainly have been posts that make people sit up and think "IS THIS FOR REAL ?" - but in some cases - yes - they are real and these are the people we should be really trying to help. oh and Lilygirl - People normally are GREAT here about larger sized yorkies -we love them in all sizes - unless it was a breeding discussion - then they tend to be more concerned with weight and staying within the Standard....
__________________ Last edited by red98vett; 07-07-2006 at 02:47 PM. | |
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