Yesterday I sent my yorkie to heaven and today I want to die

[missingmycosmo]

Hello, I am new to this site but thought it might help to share my story and see if anyone out there has been through what I am dealing with...

My family and I had our Yorkie for almost 10 years. We got him from a local breeder/pet store and loved and spoiled him from the day we got him. We replaced his ACL, and both kneecaps, paid for countless vet dehydration visits etc. For the past year or so he started peeing everywhere and having accidents, which we ignored and cleaned up. Alot! He received regular vet visits, check ups, grooming etc.

Then this past weekend, he continued throwing up alot and then wheezing. We took him in immediately and our vet said we needed to get him to the emergency vet for an EKG/Sonogram. Once there, the hooked my little baby up to some oxygen and began procedures. The EKG revealed that my baby had a massive heart tumor, a broken valve and water in his lungs...they said they would treat him for a heart condition and we could take him home once they balanced his fluids and got him out of heart failure and his breathing normalized...that never happened. He had a very poor response to the heart meds and the lasik treatments and so I was forced to make the hardest decision of my life...We decided to end his pain at the suggestion of 3 different veterinarians. When they brought him in with his oxygen tank being wheeled behind him I just knew this was the best for him. I held him in my arms and kissed him until the very end, told him how much I loved him and would miss him. My baby boy, Cosmo.

I cant believe the lonliness I'm feeling and how broken my heart is. My house is so quiet when he used to greet me everyday, tail wagging and giving me kisses. I've heard people say that the best therapy is to get another dog but I don't want to disrespect his memory. He was a little dog with a BIG personality. I miss him so much and it's only been one day. How do you ever get over this??

[Harrysmum]

Oh my goodness - my heart bleeds for you.....

I'm afraid it's just time - lots and lots of time.

I've certainly been there myself, quite a few times, as have many others here. There is no quick fix solution.

Everybody suggested to me that we "replace" our Rosie labrador...I waited almost 3 years before I could embrace that idea. And then we didn't "replace" her...we chose a totally different breed, and a boy instead of a girl, and we made more room in our hearts for our little Harry who deserves all the love and attention and care we have to give.

It's still extremely early days for you, and you need to grieve. In time, you will look back on all the wonderful years you shared and remember them with joy - rather than tears....that time will come.

Opinions differ enormously on this - I have known people who have brought a new puppy into their homes and it's been the best therapy. Others have ended up even resenting the new pup, which in itself is unfair....

I would also like to welcome you to YT - I'm so sorry it's under such dreadful circumstances, but we look forward to getting to know you....Sally + Harry x

[MY OSCAR]

i couldnt say it any better than harrymum did so i will just
say i am so very sorry for your loss.
it just takes time , some get a new puppy right awar , others wait.
you will know in your heart when the time is right.

[KendraE]

I just want to say I'm so very sorry... I'm crying for you...

My daughters baby girl was killed accidentally a year ago... She was just a pup. I almost immidately found her a new baby... I knew that was the only way I would ever mend her heart...

I dread the day I have to say goodbye to my boys... I will be praying for you!

[Micah my love]

I am so sorry for your loss, and i know it hurts so bad, but you showed him how much you loved him by letting him go to suffer no more, you have so much love to give, find another one Cosmo would not want you to be unhappy or lonely

[Lilymo]

I agree with all the above, each person responds diffrently. I dont think its a question of replacing Cosmo, that will never happen he will always have a special place in your heart. Adding to your family with another pup can help to fill a space left. I feel for you right now as along with may others I too have been in a silmilar situation. It does get better, time is a great healer.

[jadabug]

I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Cosmo You have just went through what we all dread and what a lot of us have gone through. I know that it will take time to be able to remember Cosmo and all the wonderful memories you have of him as of right now you are still in shock over this sudden decision you had to make.
I think each of us is different and we each grieve in our own way. What is right for one, may not be right for another. You will have to follow your heart and know that you could never replace Cosmo but he wouldn't want you to be lonely and sad. I pray that your heart will heal in time and you can give another furbaby a place in your loving home.

[Lil Sis]

My heart breaks for you. I am crying as I type this.
I have lost a pup to illness.. It was a while before I brought another new pup into my home. It was not disrespect of her memory at all..it was a totally new little fur person to love. I had and have other dogs so it was a bit easier in that the house was never empty. When the time is right you will love another...not just like oscar but love just the same.

[Perrella]

My heart is breaking for you....I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby Cosmo. RIP sweet Cosmo.

[missingmycosmo]

Thank you everyone for your kind and helpful words. It was a rough second night without him, i actually rolled up a browm towel and put at end of my bed so in the dark it looks like him at night. My poor cat senses something is wrong and will not stay away from me and bellows some of the night for his friend. Its morning, and he would have been awake chasing squirrels in my back yard and harassing my neighbors dog:-(

[LunasMomma]

I do feel your pain and have been there It does take time for the heart to stop feeling like it's breaking in half, and eventually you will be able to think of your Cosmo and smile and laugh at the funny things he used to do

When my Starr died, my husband and I just laid in our bed and bawled all night long, we were devastated. I said I never wanted another dog EVER, but DH insisted that we get another right away. I was so mad at him for pushing another puppy on me the very next day She was also sickly and almost died, but you know what? It really did help us to heal, having this new little life to nurture. Luna (and then Izzy) did not replace Starr, not at all. Our hearts just expanded to create their very own spaces in it We still talk about Starr, look at pictures of her, and remember her antics with fondness and love.

Only YOU will know when/if the time is right to give another furbaby your love. Let your heart be your guide

RIP Cosmo

[Steven_Drama]

Barely got through your paragraph, & couldn't even read any replies due to blurred vision :*(. I'm so sorry for your loss, but he is healthy & happy now and his memory will live on with you forever. Think of the good times, because I can guarantee you that is what he is doing. RIP Cosmo.

[beachdog]

I had to do the same thing in January and am still feeling the loss. Your pup wouldn't want you to feel this bad, try to remember the great times you had, cry and mourn the loss you are feeling is very real, don't let anyone take that from you.

[KimInMD]

I cant believe the lonliness I'm feeling and how broken my heart is. My house is so quiet when he used to greet me everyday, tail wagging and giving me kisses. I've heard people say that the best therapy is to get another dog but I don't want to disrespect his memory. He was a little dog with a BIG personality. I miss him so much and it's only been one day. How do you ever get over this??[/QUOTE]

Oh goodness, My heart is just breaking for you. To answer your question truthfully, you'll never fully get over the loss of your sweet Cosmo. Right now you are still grieving, but someday you will learn to go on, and go forward. Some fall into a trap and carry grief like a "memorial" to the one they lost. They are afraid that giving up the grief, and perhaps getting a new puppy companion equates forgetting their their deceased fur baby. This is wrong thinking, and nothing could be further from the truth. To stop grieving, and begin to move forward is not to never stop remembering. And you will never stop loving the little one you lost. I think people like you who love that deeply have much love to give. You are the best kind of puppy parent there is, and when the time is right, perhaps you will open your heart to a new fur baby who needs your love. You'll never replace Cosmo. You'll only carry on the legacy of love he left behind because he was such an extra special boy. If adopting doesn't feel right, perhaps you will think of a different way to honor Cosmo's memory, and help him live on.
You are in my thoughts and prayers during these painful days. You do have friends here who understand how you feel about your little one. Maybe you'll post a picture of Cosmo and share that big personality with us who never got to know him. Gentle hugs to you.

[SophieKatesMom]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

It sounds like your and your cat are both grieving the loss of a very loved family member. I know you have probably heard this before but I will tell you from experience it will get better, unfortunately we have to go through the pain first.

Please stick around Yorkie Talk, we have a lot members who have suffered the same kind of loss. I know we will be there to offer you as much support as possible.

You will stay in my good thought and prayers as your work through the pain of losing Cosmo.