Nephew slapped my Yorkie...now, slapping myself!

[lillymae]

Originally Posted by Ahis_Mama

I am also a child care provider and you hit it spot on. It sounded like you were talking about my home. . It amazes me how much the child's tests the parents as soon as they walk through my door. It is like Jekyll and Hyde. You'd be surprised how many times the child will kick and scream because they don't want to leave me. I have 2 kids(siblings) that do this everyday. I have to talk to them and remind them that they will come back tomorrow. Sometimes the parents just have to carry them off kicking and screaming.

All of my kids don't want to leave at the end of the day, even when they are the last one there. I think the kids who want to stay the most & scream the loudest are the once obnoxious children. I think the once Obnoxious children were Obnoxious due to lack of parenting period and ANY kind of attention whatsoever. I do spoil them all & reward them greatly, LOTS & LOTS of hugs & kisses & I Love you all day long. I have kids that come to stay with me & DH that were my Daycare kids in California & I live in Idaho now. My Daycare kids are my life & I would be lost without them & those who have not come from Cal to visit call regularly & send letters & pics. I LOVE my kids, even my little monsters, LOL

[lillymae]

Originally Posted by chachi

No if my daughter was that bad in public I wouldnt take her out in public or to anyones house. The parents should definitely be doing something about it.

Exactly, because you parent your child so I would most likely NOT be looking for you in the grocery store to give you a smack for allowing your child to act like a monster, LOL. I really believe the parents are at fault & NOT the child.

[chachi]

Also those parents of the kids acting up I guarantee you are very embarrassed and just because they dont do something to correct them in front of you doesnt mean they dont after they leave

[Ahis_Mama]

Originally Posted by lillymae

All of my kids don't want to leave at the end of the day, even when they are the last one there. I think the kids who want to stay the most & scream the loudest are the once obnoxious children. I think the once Obnoxious children were Obnoxious due to lack of parenting period and ANY kind of attention whatsoever. I do spoil them all & reward them greatly, LOTS & LOTS of hugs & kisses & I Love you all day long. I have kids that come to stay with me & DH that were my Daycare kids in California & I live in Idaho now. My Daycare kids are my life & I would be lost without them & those who have not come from Cal to visit call regularly & send letters & pics. I LOVE my kids, even my little monsters, LOL

I think you're right! I laugh to myself when I have this one little girl who tells me umpteen times a day that she "loves me very much" and "you're the best mommy ever!" and she screams that one out loud. I tell her thank you, i love you too and shhh..don't tell your mom you tell me that. Lol
That's wonderful they still keep in touch with you. I have been doing this for only several years but I still keep in touch with the ones who left.
My little monsters are awesome too.

[lillymae]

Originally Posted by chachi

Also those parents of the kids acting up I guarantee you are very embarrassed and just because they dont do something to correct them in front of you doesnt mean they dont after they leave

You are partially correct but I have been in a grocery store or other similar place & heard a mother say to their 3, 4 or 5 yr old "shut the he!! up before I slap the sh!t out of you " Oh No You did NOT just say that to your kid " My DH learned early on that if it's going to embarrass him then he'd better RUN because I WILL say something to that parent rite now & they aren't going to like what I have to say but Oh well, then don't be talking to your kid like that & by the way take a look in the mirror because your a piece of work yourself. And I have heard parents call their kids stupid WAY too many times in public so can you imagine those parents when their at home, what must they say to their kids then ? & Stupid is NOT a word that is allowed in my house. Another one I can't tolerate is bad boy/girl & I cringe when I hear people say that to their kids.

[lillymae]

Originally Posted by Ahis_Mama

I think you're right! I laugh to myself when I have this one little girl who tells me umpteen times a day that she "loves me very much" and "you're the best mommy ever!" and she screams that one out loud. I tell her thank you, i love you too and shhh..don't tell your mom you tell me that. Lol
That's wonderful they still keep in touch with you. I have been doing this for only several years but I still keep in touch with the ones who left.
My little monsters are awesome too.

Why would you not want her mom to know she tells you she loves you ? I tell each one of my kids that I Love them hundreds of times a day & always when they give me a hug on their way out the door. I have had them all since they were from 6 wks to 3 mo old , the ones I have now. I get more infants then toddlers, most of my kids come to me before 1 yr old & I have a theory that if you don't love your Daycare kids then your not doing your job rite as how do you have these kids from 6 wks to 1st grade & not fall in love with them ?
I do always warn the parents that their kids will be crying to stay after the 1st day to the 1st wk & remind them that it could go the other way around & they could be kicking & screaming on their way in the door every day.

[TeakasMom]

Teaka is always around my nieces. Caitlin will be 3 and Isabelle just turned 1. They are always supervised. I find Teaka to be more defensive if I hold her, so normally I leave them be. Caitlin is more intersted in "auntie" (me) or her grandparents than Teaka. Isabelle on the other hand loves Teaka. She giggles when Teaka licks her face. However I tell both of my nieces "Be nice to Teaka" and Caitlin will stroke her gently. Isabelle will cup Teakas face in her hands and Teaka will lick her, and Isabelle will giggle. Normally they get along very well. Usually I have to discipline Teaka to leave the kids alone. She loves them!

Sometimes Teaka will become snappy though. Especially if she is on my father, and the girls come up to my him to cuddle. Teaka gets defensive. "This is my dad! Get away" (growl Growl growl, snap) Thats when Teaka gets put in a bedroom. There is no hitting involved. Never.

I love my nieces, but it is not my job to discipline them. I never smack them. If they ever did something to Teaka, I would say "Caitlin (or Isabelle) NO!" and take Teaka away. Then proceed to tell my sister what happened. Usually my sister is very good as disciplining her children. I only trust Teaka with certain people.

Its my responsibility to make sure Teaka doesn't hurt anyone, and that no one hurts Teaka in the process.

[BellarousasMom]

Well the kids must learn how to treat our pups. I have two year old twin grandgirls. One is a defiant little thing, she charges at Bella and I have to get on to her constantly. I know I shouldn't but I tell her that Bella will bite if she doesn't stop, and unfortunately Bella has bit her, all my grand does is walk away. Her twin sister will walk up to Bella holding out a finger towards Bella, when she gets her finger licked she smiles and walks away. They're also at an age that I have a hard time with, the more I'm around defiant two year olds, the more I love my puppy. My daughter and her husband doesn't have kids, just a 90 lb dog. I keep telling them dogs are easier. LOL Luckly my son and his wife told us from the get go, it's ok to decipline. I said well good, cause if it wasn't, it still would happen, and if that wasn't going to fly, then don't bring them to the house. Do not like being around kids that aren't well behaved either. Sorry so long.

[Ringo1]

Originally Posted by McheleM

I'm the opposite. I'm the parent who does not want someone else disciplining my children, so I would be upset if you did. I would expect you to come to me and then I would discipline my children myself.

I don't discipline my brothers kids, nor do I discipline my grandson when his dad and my daughter are around, only when they are in my care. We also don't use the word no. We use positive reinforcements and time outs. I don't believe in hitting kids (I was abused as a child) and therefore my kids have never learned to hit. I do believe that is a learned behavior, and I cringe when I see parents smack their child and then tell them "we don't hit". My children have always been very well behaved and very well mannered. I had no qualms about canceling my dinner order and leaving a restaurant or walking out of a store if they were acting like brats. They knew what was expected and knew that there would be consequences for misbehavior. My grandson is learning slowly that he can't do certain things when at Mimzi's house like he can at home, because we have dogs and other rules, but I always let his dad and my daughter be his parents-never me.

I agree with Michele. I would be most upset if someone struck my child or placed him in time out; whatever - unless they had the authority to do so.
And NO ONE has the authority to strike my child. Come and tell me and I will handle the situation.
I will never forget and my son will never forget one Thanksgiving when his hot-headed (but much beloved) Italian Uncle was over for dinner. Matt and his daughter were coming down the steps and his daughter tripped. He IMMEDIATELY began screaming at the top of his lungs at my son to GET DOWN HERE . . . and so on and so forth. My son was not used to that kind of anger and yelling and burst into tears. I had to ask Uncle to leave my house because I didn't know what he was capable of.
Though - everyone eventually made up - my son has never forgotten how someone jumped to conclusions and was ready to 'discipline' him. With me standing right there!

No way will that EVER happen

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by McheleM

(partial quote) I actually like kids....it's adults I want to smack around

LMBO !!! Love it.

[capt_noonie]

Again, I didn't read everything, but yeah it is the parents. I remember when I was a kid, my brother and I would be playing around in the grocery store, putting our hands in the bins of beans (a la Amelie) laughing around, and my dad would give us the LOOK, and say "this is not a playground, this is a market!!" and we'd get back in line. (We got spanked big time BTW if we misbehaved)

Just today I was at a market and these two little kids were having a great time like it was a playground, and bumped into me several times! I gave the look to their mom,... nothing. Did I want to smack them? oh yes. Did I? no, of course not. I have something to fantisize about tonight, beating up kids in the market LOL Did I just say that ?

What was my point? IDK but I'm glad I don't have Lisa's job LOL.

[ilovejoel]

Reminds me of our daycare, we get kids that hit their parents but if I didnt see it myself I wouldn't believe it because they don't do that stuff here.
Also we can take 6 kids to a restraunt and they behave perfectly, we always get people coming up just to say how good their being.
But its never the kids, its the parents.

[Ahis_Mama]

Originally Posted by lillymae

Why would you not want her mom to know she tells you she loves you ? I tell each one of my kids that I Love them hundreds of times a day & always when they give me a hug on their way out the door. I have had them all since they were from 6 wks to 3 mo old , the ones I have now. I get more infants then toddlers, most of my kids come to me before 1 yr old & I have a theory that if you don't love your Daycare kids then your not doing your job rite as how do you have these kids from 6 wks to 1st grade & not fall in love with them ?
I do always warn the parents that their kids will be crying to stay after the 1st day to the 1st wk & remind them that it could go the other way around & they could be kicking & screaming on their way in the door every day.

Mom has some issues. She has post partum blues. She says she loves her kids but has a hard time dealing with them. Even if she's off work and hasn't seen them much because of night shift.(nurse) she will drop them off while complaining that she don't get much time with them but can't handle them. She will occasionally take her older child with her when she is off work but never her son because she says he's too hard. He's not hard at all..very loving sweet boy. I love these kids as if they were my own.

[Kadance]

Originally Posted by shelimcallister

1) Do you provide consequences to your non-immediate family members (nieces and nephews) ?
2) Would you tell your dear, loving sister-in-law (from DH's side) that her kids are out of control and she must get a grip? They are aggressive and behaviorally a major problem!!

Thanks!

1) a) Yes! My 5 1/2 yr old cousin was playing with Dexter (supervised at all times) in the back garden with a football and tried to kick the ball really hard towards him...I knew he wasn't doing this maliciously, just that he didn't know. I asked him how he would feel if I kicked the ball at him, being bigger than him, and it hit my cousin in the face really hard? "It would hurt, and wouldn't be very nice". Too right it wouldn't, now don't do it again! Now he plays nice.

1) b) Yes! My 7 yr old neighbour adores Dexter and her and a friend were playing with him in the garden (again supervised), and the friend actually threw a football (soccer ball to you Americans ) as hard as possible at the dog. Again, I asked her what on earth she was doing and warned her VERY sternly not to do anything like that to animal again. Stupid girl.

2) I would get your hubby to do it for you! Or just try and not see them as much.

[tjdmom]

I always whenever possible try to make a childs interaction with my dogs a positive learning experience. I guess it really depends on the age of the child. I had a little boy about 2 years old at the ball field a few weeks ago come up to pet Zoe. He was petting her very nicely and you could see it was a positive experience for both until the grandmother says to the kids teenage uncle up at bat "Wack it! Wack it! Well, the 2 year old thought she meant him and he wacked Zoe on the head, I said oh, no no and I scooped her up. In that circumstance, it was really just an accident, the boy didn't know better. So I guess it really depends on the intention. Sometimes little kids are uncoordinated and don't actually mean to hurt the dog. As much as possible, I would be gentle with the child and calmly call him back and explain that he really hurt her and how important it is to be gentle because she really likes him and wants to be his friends.... etc.... of course, if the kid is older and knows better and meant to hurt her then that is a totally different story and I would tell the parent and make sure they handled it....