Nephew slapped my Yorkie...now, slapping myself!

[shelimcallister]

First off, thanks everyone for your great advice! I loved reading all of your points of view!

I decided to go ahead and have a discussion with her tonight (over a glass of wine ). I felt like I approached it gently initially by making a joke and saying, "We HAVE to call Supernanny for you!!" I told her that it really upsets me when her kids hit/spit or try to hurt my sweet little Maxiepoo and all she does is tell them that it's not nice. I let her know that I am sorry for not coming around more often but I don't feel comfortable reprimanding HER kids. But, I cannot handle being disrepected..especially Max!!

She started crying ...and I felt like poop. I recommended a book, "1,2,3 Magic" for her to read and she said she would read it and that she is very sorry. Then, she told me that her son hit a friend's baby (6 months old) on the head and her friend slapped him.

She seemed like she was just unsure of how to find that balance between loving Mom and disiplinarian.

Anyway, Thank all of you very much for giving me the confidence to voice my opinion. Although I will never bring my furbaby with me any longer, at least she knows how I feel.

You guys rock!!!

[shelimcallister]

Originally Posted by tjdmom

I always whenever possible try to make a childs interaction with my dogs a positive learning experience. I guess it really depends on the age of the child. I had a little boy about 2 years old at the ball field a few weeks ago come up to pet Zoe. He was petting her very nicely and you could see it was a positive experience for both until the grandmother says to the kids teenage uncle up at bat "Wack it! Wack it! Well, the 2 year old thought she meant him and he wacked Zoe on the head, I said oh, no no and I scooped her up. In that circumstance, it was really just an accident, the boy didn't know better. So I guess it really depends on the intention. Sometimes little kids are uncoordinated and don't actually mean to hurt the dog. As much as possible, I would be gentle with the child and calmly call him back and explain that he really hurt her and how important it is to be gentle because she really likes him and wants to be his friends.... etc.... of course, if the kid is older and knows better and meant to hurt her then that is a totally different story and I would tell the parent and make sure they handled it....

It is not funny that Zoe was hit but funny that the boy thought the grandmother was telling him to wack the dog.

Yes. Maybe I will try again when they are older and can understand more. I am still wondering why he thinks its so funny to be so aggressive all the time? I hope he grows out of it soon or Mommy can turn it around!

[McheleM]

Originally Posted by shelimcallister

ray. Then, she told me that her son hit a friend's baby (6 months old) on the head and her friend slapped him.
You guys rock!!!

My "friend" would have been picking her teeth up out of the carpet if she had hit my kid. I'm sorry but hitting a kid to teach them not to hit is unacceptable. (that is my personal opinion, and I do not condone corporal punishment in any shape, fashion or form.)

[Ahis_Mama]

Okay sorry but this child needs to be taught if the parent won't do it. Hopefully she will start seeing the error of her ways and turn things around. Most times children are like this is because they don't get enough or the right kind of attention.

I wonder if the mommy to the infant just reacted.(Although she is an adult, she still is human) I am by no means justifying for her but it happens.

[ilovejoel]

One time Joel was checking out a baby and the baby grabbed his topknot and shook it, but he was fine just a little scared. The baby was like 6 months old, lol so he didnt even know what he did. I dont mind as long as he doesnt get injured, now he knows to watch it around babies.

[Teegy]

okay this is just me, I'd have slapped my nephew.
My nephew and niece tried to bite me as chidren and I warned them not to, when they bit me I bit them right back, they never bit me again.
My youngest nephew is quite a rough wee fella and has been told he has to be gentle with Teegy under the threat of you hit him hard I pinch the skin behind your arm. Needless to say he doesn't like that so he tends to make the effort to be gentle

[shelimcallister]

Originally Posted by Ahis_Mama

Okay sorry but this child needs to be taught if the parent won't do it. Hopefully she will start seeing the error of her ways and turn things around. Most times children are like this is because they don't get enough or the right kind of attention.

I wonder if the mommy to the infant just reacted.(Although she is an adult, she still is human) I am by no means justifying for her but it happens.

I agree!! I am pretty sure she just reacted as a mommy to a baby with a soft spot on his head!! I would NEVER do that but I can understand how someone may impulsively respond especially if they "pop" their own children. My SIL was upset by it but is choosing to not let it ruin their friendship. She knows that her son could have really hurt that baby.

I have had issues with having children of my own and sometimes I am sad about it; however, I am happy to have such a great life hopefully one day I will be able to worry about all this stuff. I am just glad its not now!!!

[gracielove]

If only there was some kind of training requirement for parenthood! Your friend is just plain permissive. It is easier to turn a blind eye to an issue than to stop what is going on right there at that moment and deal with the matter. It can be unpleasant to discipline a child, especially little ones but trust me that is the time to do it. A child that knows the rules and boundaries that have been set for it will be a child that is easy to get along with and actually fun to have around. A simple time out can be a real punishment for a child if done properly. Some crying and a few tantrums may occur. However, they and the parents will survive. Discipline changes as the child gets older but I found that my children required less and less intervention as they got older because they had learned to respect each other as well as taking care of their toys, clothing, etc. It was a lot of work at first but it paid off. People were awe struck when I took my kids in public. I was amazed. They were just behaving like good kids. Why should people be so shocked at kids behaving as they should? It is sad when good behavior is less common than bad behavior.

Studies have also shown that young kids that started out hurting animals and other young children are more prone to be involved in violent crime when they are older.

[Ahis_Mama]

Originally Posted by gracielove

If only there was some kind of training requirement for parenthood! Your friend is just plain permissive. It is easier to turn a blind eye to an issue than to stop what is going on right there at that moment and deal with the matter. It can be unpleasant to discipline a child, especially little ones but trust me that is the time to do it. A child that knows the rules and boundaries that have been set for it will be a child that is easy to get along with and actually fun to have around. A simple time out can be a real punishment for a child if done properly. Some crying and a few tantrums may occur. However, they and the parents will survive. Discipline changes as the child gets older but I found that my children required less and less intervention as they got older because they had learned to respect each other as well as taking care of their toys, clothing, etc. It was a lot of work at first but it paid off. People were awe struck when I took my kids in public. I was amazed. They were just behaving like good kids. Why should people be so shocked at kids behaving as they should? It is sad when good behavior is less common than bad behavior.

Studies have also shown that young kids that started out hurting animals and other young children are more prone to be involved in violent crime when they are older.

I agree it is hard work but nobody said being a parent was going to be easy! It's all worth it when you see them all grown up being a person you can respect.

I always have people or even owners of restaurants come up to me to tell me and my kids that they can't believe how well behaved my children are. lol And i'm like "thank you...and they better be" . I've always taught them there is a certain way we act at certain places.

[Donnainohio63]

If one of my Grand babies or nieces/nephews ever hit one of my babies I would handle it right then and there but my family is old school. We come from a time where we believe it takes a village. I would never raise a hand to a child because I do not believe in hitting and I do not condone violence however, I would have a stern talk with them while letting them know that I love them. No one will mistreat an animal around me and get away with it.

[gracielove]

Originally Posted by Donnainohio63

If one of my Grand babies or nieces/nephews ever hit one of my babies I would handle it right then and there but my family is old school. We come from a time where we believe it takes a village. I would never raise a hand to a child because I do not believe in hitting and I do not condone violence however, I would have a stern talk with them while letting them know that I love them. No one will mistreat an animal around me and get away with it.

I don't think it is necessary to hit a child to discipline them most of the time. Most of my kids would have rather had a spanking than have to sit in a chair with no TV or video games or worst yet, being sent to their room (also without electronics) When it came to them hurting each other or putting themselves in danger (like going near the road or attempting to clobber a sibling with an object) then a spanking may have been in order. Especially if this was not the first offense. Spankings can't be done out of anger. The child has to know why it is being done and have a good discussion first. I have seen way too many mothers that let their children's bad behavior go until they loose their cool and then lam bast the kid out of sheer anger and frustration. That is abuse.

[Teegy]

I grew up old school too, and believe me if I got slapped I never did that again. I think there is a huge difference between discipline and child abuse and I think a few of today's kids could have used some right and left hand discipline.
I slap to the top of the thigh tended to work wonders on me hahahahaha

[shelimcallister]

Originally Posted by gracielove

If only there was some kind of training requirement for parenthood! Your friend is just plain permissive. It is easier to turn a blind eye to an issue than to stop what is going on right there at that moment and deal with the matter. It can be unpleasant to discipline a child, especially little ones but trust me that is the time to do it. A child that knows the rules and boundaries that have been set for it will be a child that is easy to get along with and actually fun to have around. A simple time out can be a real punishment for a child if done properly. Some crying and a few tantrums may occur. However, they and the parents will survive. Discipline changes as the child gets older but I found that my children required less and less intervention as they got older because they had learned to respect each other as well as taking care of their toys, clothing, etc. It was a lot of work at first but it paid off. People were awe struck when I took my kids in public. I was amazed. They were just behaving like good kids. Why should people be so shocked at kids behaving as they should? It is sad when good behavior is less common than bad behavior.

Studies have also shown that young kids that started out hurting animals and other young children are more prone to be involved in violent crime when they are older.

Great post!

[Sir Bentley]

OMG, it wouldn't pay for someone to slapped one of our Yorkies, family, friends, or stranger, because their Daddy would handle it and I don't think they would want his response.