I want to scream

[speleogirl37]

Originally Posted by DerbyLayne

I think this is an unfair statement about married couples.

When you're married, it's not about "me"- it's about "us". ALL decisions that involve both parties should be made TOGETHER. As much as it seems unfair when someone says "no", and you want to pout about it and think you know best, (no matter what decision, whether it be about a dog, the color of the living room, that new couch) I think it's not an equal marriage if you go do something without running it by each other first.

Of course this doesn't apply to everything, but getting a dog is a major decision. I don't care how much the one person wants it, if the other is saying no- RESPECT that decision. Talk it out, and maybe eventually you'll agree to get another dog in the future.

When you're married, you don't always get what you want. Sacrifices have to be made so that there is harmony in the house. Pouting and being sad over a dog, isn't reason enough to fight or go ahead and "do it anyway".

It's selfish to think that you're the only opinion/one that matters in the household and what you say goes.

I personally don't think it's right when one person has more control over the decisions and doesn't include the other one in one them- you're MARRIED, WELCOME TO "It's not all about YOU!"

Totally agree!!

[Kirby]

No offense was intended. I don't know the situation of the person who started this thread. I jumped to conclusions and I shouldn't do that, but I have known many woman who think it's up to the husband to decide. My husband and I will be celebrating our 12th anniversary next year. There has been a great deal of give and take, but there is also respect. When one person wants something so much, who am I to deny the person I love from reasonable happiness? Again, though, as I stated in my first post, perhaps her husband has a very good reason. This is a big decision that should be made together but not for the sake of control.

[yorkielover916]

Originally Posted by Kirby

No offense was intended. I don't know the situation of the person who started this thread. I jumped to conclusions and I shouldn't do that, but I have known many woman who think it's up to the husband to decide. My husband and I will be celebrating our 12th anniversary next year. There has been a great deal of give and take, but there is also respect. When one person wants something so much, who am I to deny the person I love from reasonable happiness? Again, though, as I stated in my first post, perhaps her husband has a very good reason. This is a big decision that should be made together but not for the sake of control.

It's ok. you are right you dont know how my marriage is, and I am not upset, so don't worry about it. I ask him because I do know how big of a decission having new puppy is. and because I am not the only one that lives in my house. even though I would be doing most of the work with the puppy as I do for my other two, I do try to keep my DH's feelings in mind when I am going to spend a large amount of money on a puppy. btw, we usually dont ask ea other for permission to do anything, but since this is a living thing that needs to be taken care of I think its something he should be in agreement with. but I am on the brink of just going and getting one

[yorkielover916]

Originally Posted by Misti1

So he's not the kind that a baby would win over, so I wouldn't try the surprise tactic if I were you.

well idk b/c he was just dancing with Pete rt now ... it might work.

[Kirby]

It sounds like a frustrating position. I know how it feels. You sound like a good person who respects her husband's opinion. Please do not listen to an over sensitive bloke like me. There was a recent issue with a couple of friends and their husbands. I shouldn't have taken their situation out on yours. My apologies, but I do hope that it works out for you both to have another puppy.

Sincerely,


Sonya

Originally Posted by yorkielover916

It's ok. you are right you dont know how my marriage is, and I am not upset, so don't worry about it. I ask him because I do know how big of a decission having new puppy is. and because I am not the only one that lives in my house. even though I would be doing most of the work with the puppy as I do for my other two, I do try to keep my DH's feelings in mind when I am going to spend a large amount of money on a puppy. btw, we usually dont ask ea other for permission to do anything, but since this is a living thing that needs to be taken care of I think its something he should be in agreement with. but I am on the brink of just going and getting one

[yorkielover916]

Originally Posted by Kirby

It sounds like a frustrating position. I know how it feels. You sound like a good person who respects her husband's opinion. Please do not listen to an over sensitive bloke like me. There was a recent issue with a couple of friends and their husbands. I shouldn't have taken their situation out on yours. My apologies, but I do hope that it works out for you both to have another puppy.

Sincerely,


Sonya

its ok and thank you I am hoping that he changes his mind...

[jaac]

I say get the dog I also have mini doxie plus a golden ,a scottie and new baby yorkie soon. they all get along nicely.
a good thing to remember is it easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission

[yorkielover916]

Originally Posted by jaac

I say get the dog I also have mini doxie plus a golden ,a scottie and new baby yorkie soon. they all get along nicely.
a good thing to remember is it easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission

hmmmm... I like that ... but i still want him to say yes... just so I know its ok to go ahead and get the pup... but seriously I am gonna break and just get one... idk when but soon

[DerbyLayne]

Originally Posted by yorkielover916

I do try to keep my DH's feelings in mind when I am going to spend a large amount of money on a puppy. btw, we usually dont ask each other for permission to do anything, but since this is a living thing that needs to be taken care of I think its something he should be in agreement with

If i spent 800-1500 on a dog without being in agreement with my husband, that's really not fair. It's a trust issue, it's a money issue, it becomes a lot of bigger issues then just "SURPRISE! I got a dog you didn't want! but you want him/her now right? So cute!" Ya for that price, they better. That's a mortgage payment for f-sakes...

I know if my man went out and bought something for that price, without being in agreement with me, I'd freak out. I wouldn't care WHAT it was, those are decisions you make TOGETHER.

Even if the dog was FREE, a dog is a commitment that's not just an outfit you can take back.

[Disney]

Totally agree Derby.

Personally, I think throwing a toddler tantrum and just getting the dog will end very ugly. If he doesn't want a dog, talk to him, ask him why. If he doesn't have valid points have a heart to heart. If he simply does not want another dog, you may just need to accept that rather than putting a strain on your marriage and his trust in you by going and grabbing what you want.

Good luck!

[yorkielover916]

Originally Posted by Disney

Totally agree Derby.

Personally, I think throwing a toddler tantrum and just getting the dog will end very ugly. If he doesn't want a dog, talk to him, ask him why. If he doesn't have valid points have a heart to heart. If he simply does not want another dog, you may just need to accept that rather than putting a strain on your marriage and his trust in you by going and grabbing what you want.

Good luck!

but sometimes my toddler trantrums work...lol ... I think I might have him, yesterday for most of the day anything he asked me to do, I came back with "Can I get the puppy?" he would laugh or nod his head like "quit" or I cant beleave you are still asking me this, it was funny. he also mentioned to me though that he didn't want to get a dog that would be on the furniture or bed. I told him that the puppy wouldnt be on the sofa or bed just on my lap, then he said t "you don't do that with the dogs we have now", I told him b/c they are just a little to big, he said that they ( the dogs) would get jealous and that its unfair treatment. to favor one dog more then the others. I think he is trying to use any excuse for me not to get this puppy...

[Lorrainelola]

We have 2 german shepherds and now my yorkie. They all get affection and actually seen to accept thats its ok for Alfie to be on our laps and they are happy to just be at our feet. I too don't like dogs on the sofa ehich is why the german shepherds have never been allowed on there. A little dog on your lap is different. In a strange way I think you start to give more attention to the other dogs so that they don't feel left out. Our 3 are getting along so well. Why not print some of the replies you have had and show him saying you are doing all the research you can and that you realise it isn't a decision to be made lightly My 1st husband never let me have a dog. Number 2 husband loves them lol , although that would be rather drastic for you, just to get a yorkie. x

[BellaBlue82]

You know, when I first told my husband that I wanted a dog for Christmas/our Anniversary, he flipped out and said absolutely not. I have never had a dog before, and I'm 27 years old with three kids! He said we have enough responsibilities without adding a "fourth child." But after he saw how much I really wanted one and was researching them, buying books and talking about the breed, he gave in. Bottom line, if your husband really loves you, he'll give you what you want! Look at how much we compromise for them! Good luck!

[manolos mom]

Originally Posted by yorkielover916

I think its the money, that has a big part in it, he says that they are too expensive, btw our dachshunds were given to us, so having to pay for a dog is out of the question for him. I do all the work w/ them, which is why I think I can handle another especially now since I am going to school and am home more to spend time with the new puppy. he says he doesnt like dogs but the second I turn around he's loving on the dogs and talking to them in baby talk his way. its cute... but I mention the third one and he's like "no" doesnt even look at me when he says it b/c I give him the puppy dog eyes and he can't tell me no when I give him those eyes, I'm not gonna give up though.

I can tell you for a fact Yorkies aint cheap! In the past 2 to 3 weeks I have spent $2000 dollars on vetting. Heart Worm meds, shots, grooming, Dentals and other health issues. Good luck to you. They are the best little dog you could own but very expensive.

[westieboy]

Tell him he can get whatever car he wants next time and you're done. That would work with me.