I was so livid

[HendrixandLucy]

Originally Posted by DerbyLayne

I only pointed your post out because you stated you worked with children.

As someone who publicly states that they work with children, you should be careful what you say because if you don't, it doesn't give off the right vibe-- and it makes us question your ability in the field.

But anyway, like I said-- I'm sure you're really great with those kids, but just be aware of what you say about them. They're little people, and they have feelings too. They are often misunderstood, and they need lots of love and guidance to know what's right and wrong.

Since we both work in the field, we should always have the best interest of the child in mind- at ALL TIMES. Empathy goes a long way...

Here's to making mistakes, and learning from them!
I'm sure I've made many myself ... I'm not perfect either.

Peace.

ok, and i understand that. I just am kind of hurt because accusnig people of wanting to harm children is a pretty strong accusation and when you don't know me its really hurtful. I appologized if I offended you, but what I said was not meant in anyway to be mean or rude.... I was making a joke. And the rest of my post just said that from experience it is a huge pet peeve when parents don't act like parents... including watching their kids and disciplining when necessary. And as someone who works with kids, I am sure you agree that kids need supervision and they need to be told when they are misbehaving or else they will not learn. And above all, I felt bad for the woman who posted this..... I would be soooo upset if I were in her situation... but NO I obviously would not grab a child by the ear..... when I said I agreed with her, In my mind I just meant that I would have been upset, too. So that's that. I am actually a sweet person and more than anything I just had hurt feelings because you said I was a bad nanny haha- I know that's silly but I'm just sensitive and felt attacked.

[DerbyLayne]

Originally Posted by LilMissy

The sad thing is, I don't think the boy learned a thing from this whole ordeal, except maybe that he's thought of as a "little devil", and it's ok to put your hands on people when they make you angry. I think it would have been far more productive to take this situation and turn it into a good learning experience for the child.

Exactly.

Thank you for taking what I was trying to say, just one step further.

Thank you.

[joeys mom]

This thread has been a really good one. First of all I'm now 50 and it has made me think of when we had my daughters birthday parties. I worked at the time and didn't get alot of sleep the night before the parties. The next morning would be hectic, cooking, cleaning, getting the birthday girl ready and wanting everything just perfect for my little princess. Being so tired and nerves on end, I can see how this could happen. I'm sure it was more for show than pain. I think the mother should have first of all accepted responsibility for not watching her son better, second address the issue of how her son was brought to her, then if that wasn't an issue, explained to her son why puppies shouldn't be handled that way. This is if she was given the opportunity to do so. The thing I wonder is the effect this can have on the boy and the puppy. The puppy might be nervous of little boys, hopefully it wasn't so bad he will remember it, But if the child sees his mom and you are not friends anymore he might just remember it was because of what he done, lets face it, i am sure it has been discussed alot at his house, the story being told to everyone, (I am assuming here) and he is probally hearing it. I would like to think I would be concerned enough to send a note if she isn't answering her phone, letting her know you were concerned about what effect this might have on her son. You can agree to not be friends but at least let him see if you have a disagreement, it can be worked out and its ok to say I'm Sorry. Just a thought, I feel for both of you. Sharon

[DerbyLayne]

Originally Posted by HendrixandLucy

including watching their kids and disciplining when necessary. And as someone who works with kids, I am sure you agree that kids need supervision and they need to be told when they are misbehaving or else they will not learn. .

See this is where we will agree to dissagree.

I, in no way, feel this kid "misbehaved". He was not "bad". He didn't deserve to be disciplined. In my mind, he was a curious little kid, who wandered off from the party, and found a cute little dog and wanted to hold it, or show it off! Look I found a dog! whatever it was.... I don't think he meant to be harmful to the dog in anyway.

I do feel that there should have been a discussion, and like I said- a chance to learn from this experience in all aspects! Not to go off into others people's homes, not to wander off where no one knows where you are, how to handle a dog properly, how to be gentle with animals etc.

The entire incident was handled poorly, and I'm sorry that this woman lost her friend over it, but if you look at it from the other side-- How would you feel if someone laid a hand on your child and called it a name? The kid is 5 years old, come on.

But if the child sees his mom and you are not friends anymore he might just remember it was because of what he done, lets face it, i am sure it has been discussed alot at his house, the story being told to everyone, (I am assuming here) and he is probally hearing it. I would like to think I would be concerned enough to send a note if she isn't answering her phone, letting her know you were concerned about what effect this might have on her son. You can agree to not be friends but at least let him see if you have a disagreement, it can be worked out and its ok to say I'm Sorry.

Exactly.

Nicely put.

[HendrixandLucy]

Originally Posted by DerbyLayne

See this is where we will agree to dissagree.

I, in no way, feel this kid "misbehaved". He was not "bad". He didn't deserve to be disciplined. In my mind, he was a curious little kid, who wandered off from the party, and found a cute little dog and wanted to hold it, or show it off! Look I found a dog! whatever it was.... I don't think he meant to be harmful to the dog in anyway.

I do feel that there should have been a discussion, and like I said- a chance to learn from this experience in all aspects! Not to go off into others people's homes, not to wander off where no one knows where you are, how to handle a dog properly, how to be gentle with animals etc.

The entire incident was handled poorly, and I'm sorry that this woman lost her friend over it, but if you look at it from the other side-- How would you feel if someone laid a hand on your child and called it a name? The kid is 5 years old, come on.



Exactly.

Nicely put.

I actually completely agree with you that this shosuld have been a situation to learn from. I just think that if the child went upstairs where he should not have been and took the dog out of its crate, that he should be told that is not ok and that he should have stayed where he was supposed to. And I also am sure the kid didn't mean to do anything wrong, but he did obviously handle the dog the wrong way and if he isn't told that that is not the way that you handle a dog then he will never learn the propper way. That dof truly could have been hurt. They have tiny bones and being held by the legs could have ended in injury. But yes, there should have been a convorsation between the adults with the child and there should have been a lesson learned and that is the adults fault. When the situation is actually assesed, then obviously it was not handled properly from either party...... I really was just saying that I would have been livid too.......
I swear this was like one of those situations where you send a text message to someone and they take it the complete wrong way and it causes drama...... you can't tell over email or text or anything like this what a person truly means sometimes because you cannot hear the tone of their voice. But lesson learned- I do need to be careful with the way I say things.... because what I mean to say can be taken completely differently.

[Lucia]

First off, I'm pleased that your furbaby wasn't hurt. I can understand how angry and frightened you must have been for your furchild, but I think you directed that at the wrong person. A four-year old was able to go into your room and let your yorkie out of his crate without anyone noticing? His mother really should have been watching.

My four-year old knows to play gently with our yorkies and she gets a lot of praise for it.....however, she learnt that with education, time and patience, not by me grabbing her by the ear when she was too rough.

Again, I am relieved that your baby was not hurt and I hope that time will repair your friendship xxx

[DerbyLayne]

Originally Posted by HendrixandLucy

I swear this was like one of those situations where you send a text message to someone and they take it the complete wrong way and it causes drama...... you can't tell over email or text or anything like this what a person truly means sometimes because you cannot hear the tone of their voice. But lesson learned- I do need to be careful with the way I say things.... because what I mean to say can be taken completely differently.

The joys of the internet!

I actually enjoyed the discussion. I was planning on going to bed, oh 3 hours ago...

Sometimes people say things and they don't mean it the way they sounded. Sometimes we just need someone else to make us aware of what comes out of our mouths.

I know I do

Sorry, I didn't mean to attack you but all in all I'm fairly happy all is well on YT!

[DerbyLayne]

Originally Posted by Lucia

A four-year old was able to go into your room and let your yorkie out of his crate without anyone noticing? His mother really should have been watching.

Or anyone for that matter.

For a child to wander off and no one saw anything? A room full of friends?

When it involves children, everyone should be watching.

[HendrixandLucy]

haha my boyfriend thinks I am crazy because I have been on here for so long tonight........ but yes, all is well haha. And I can just be so sensitive sometimes and I probably was just being a cry baby. It is really late in Toronto, Lady! Get off here and get some sleep!

[DerbyLayne]

Ya I better! My husband's on nights, and he'll be strollin' in 4 hours... I am going to be cranky! LOL!

[red98vett]

Originally Posted by DerbyLayne

As someone who works with children, YOU were in the wrong handling this situation.

Kids will be kids. They a curious little people, and when they love- they love a lot (ever seen kids with cats' tails?) I believe that most children don't fully comprehend the way you should treat a pet- ever seen preschoolers with their own friends? Same difference. They don't understand their own strength, and most of the time they don't mean to hurt anyone/thing. They're playing! or being grabby or whatever. They get so excited they can't handle themselves! Some of them even pee their pants at 5 they're so excited... Get it? How are they supposed to understand exactly how to handle a pet when some of their peers can't even control their bladder? Do you see now, a child is a child...

First Step. CALM DOWN.

Handle the situation like an adult. If you get upset, say sorry.

Is the dog ok?
Is the child ok?

Try talking to the kid EX: "Gentle! Gentle... You can't handle dogs like that... they're very fragile and they can get hurt..." Try talking to them in words they can understand. Show them how to handle the dog, how to pet the dog etc.

Then speak to the mother "Just so you know.... this and this happened and it really scared me, and I yelled- but we worked it out."

If was your friend, and you had handled it this way? I'd still speak with you, and if you handled it the way you said you did? Start grovelling... You handled my child, and as an adult you KNOW better. A kid is a kid ! It's not "eye for an eye"

And the kid went into your room? I bet money that that kid heard a dog in there... (or, what's behind this door? No one's looking...lol) Back to my original statement, they are curious little people...

what a great post !

[Lula-Mae Famous]

This is why I dislike children.
I dont work with them and I dont plan on having them.

My friends would be ashamed if I caught their children doing anything close to this. I do not feel as though you over-reacted one bit.
she should be apologizing to YOU!

In a crate? and the kid took it out to torture it? are you freaking serious?
a pinch on the ear is nothing compared to what I'd want to do.

my dog IS my child, scratch that, my dog is my BABY. A harmless little baby girl. I wonder if people would have the same response to your reaction if it was a baby instead of a dog. a small harmless little dog.

out of control. this child should have been put in a crate for the party not the dog.

[Disney]

...Bit of an over reaction...

[nana911]

the voice of sanity! LOL my kids are in their mid 30s... I'm old school. they were not allowed in my room, ever. let alone some strange kid. It would have been much worse than the kid's ear. I've been in law enforcement for over 20years and from where I sit the biggest problem with the kids today has been the decline in 'hands on' discipline. Time out and reasoning with them doesn't work. Sorry, but it doesn't. Look back to the generations that treated adults (and animals i.e. other people's property) with respect and they were the kids whose parents used the 'spare the rod spoil the child' method. Since that went by the wayside, things have gotten much worse. If you start out with old fashioned discipline when they are very young you earn their respect early and you don't have to use it when they are older. My kids still flinch if I move to fast...LOL but I never laid a hand on them after the age of about 7yrs old. and no drugs or jail time etc... my daughter even went into law enforcement herself. so they did alright. Meanwhile, I get the phone calls from mom's who won't touch their kids wanting us to come to their house and make Johnny go to school because at 14yrs old he refuses. I don't necessarily believe in ear pulling per se, but somebody should have blistered something on him long ago, just my opinion.

[Arzel36]

Great post!