Earned Respect!

[MJJ56]

Another newbie here and I too have found this forum to be a wealth of information. I'm like a sponge absorbing all the great information found here. At times, I have to admit I have sat here with my mouth hanging open after reading some of the posts, mostly floored by other newbies! Thanks to all the veterans who have provided the best information a new mom could ask for. I too log in daily, usually more than once, just to make sure I don't miss any GOOD information. Thanks for educating me! Cissy obviously is doing it right - she just about has ME trained!

[Arzel36]

Wow!!! Thats all that I can say, a very great post though, and you put it "very nicely",now thats what I truly like seeing from memember's on yt,not the smartness,and rudeness too other's n a very disresptful way, that has gone on in the "past", of thread's on here..............And I will like too add to this, for those memeber's who think they know it all, well nobody knows it all, thats why we are here to educate ourselves, not too be a smart persons,among others on here. "You want respect, then you got to give respect",and it doesn't matter who you are or where you came from,nor going to!!!!!!!! Because at the end of the days, we all have our personal lives to deal with, I know I surely do!

[Ladymom]

Great post, Debra!

[FlDebra]

Originally Posted by Arzel36

..."You want respect, then you got to give respect"...

Reminds me of something I learned during Sales Training in Recruiting.....It is called, the Law of Psychological Reciprocity. Basically it says, that if you give someone credit for their intelligence, they are mentally and morally bound to give you credit for yours.

[yorkie_mama22]

" Treat others the way you want to be treated "

You wouldn't be disrespectful to an elder person who has lots of wisdom and EXPERIENCE in life. I myself would never talk back to an adult because I was raised that you just don't do that EVER. You can argue nicely and share your opinions but if you don't have the experience to back it up you should think before you speak.

[Arzel36]

Originally Posted by FlDebra

Reminds me of something I learned during Sales Training in Recruiting.....It is called, the Law of Psychological Reciprocity. Basically it says, that if you give someone credit for their intelligence, they are mentally and morally bound to give you credit for yours.

I understand what you are saying,and on that note, you keep posting great thread's,and from me to you, you have my respect.

[scrapindee]

Originally Posted by lil fu fu girl

Respect, is exactly what it boils down to.
From everyone, by everyone.

After all, most of us are here to educate, and to be educated, without fear of belittlement.

Well said. I agree.

[Princessangela3]

Sounds like you really thought this out and posted your thoughts wonderfully....I admire that!

[simba007]

I'm a newbie here and I greatly appreciate your advice and comments. I've learned so much since I joined this forum. Although I haven't posted yet I've read a great deal of the messages and plan actively participating in the near future.

[TOY]

Marvelous post, Debra!

Spoken with wisdom, insight, and compassion.

[Nancy1999]

Wonderful post Debra, you set such a great example for the rest of us!

[sarahheartmaddy]

Debra, of course, is the epitome of being well-spoken and getting the point across. What a blessing it is to have someone so educated and well rounded on this forum. It is so refreshing to read a post like this when there has been so much senseless drama and confrontation on Yorkietalk these days. I applaud you for speaking up and being an example for all Yorkietalkers!

[jasminr]

you have all my respect, I did not pm you cuz I didn't want you think I'm stalking you anyway me Quito el sombrero ante tu sabiduria

[JMuedog]

Originally Posted by FlDebra

I think most new members hold back a little during their first few months to get the lay of the land and learn a little about members and general forum personality. But......

Several times in the last couple of months a very new member (usually onboard for 2-3 weeks) has made disparaging remarks against seasoned forum members who have reputations for unselfishly sharing their knowledge and experience. These remarks are often made out of hand, without any evident research into the valuable contributions the attacked member may have made. There are members that have EARNED OUR RESPECT and deserve better treatment than they are getting by a few new and outspoken members.

It is usually a good idea when you join a forum to take a couple of months to really get the feel for its members before unloading a birage of insults. Don't disagree with one post they make and then attack their entire personality, breeding philosphy or contribution to the forum. Sometimes I see them even twist the respected breeders comments and then argue with something that was never said in the first place, leaving the rest of us to shake our heads or worse.....to start up a nasty debate where there was really no disagreement in the first place.

If you feel like attacking a breeder, research the Breeder Talk Forum and KNOW what you are talking about before you speak out of the wrong end! You might find out they are responsible, caring and educate the forum in many ways and then you might just decide not to attack them.

If you feel like attacking a pet owner, take a minute to look through their past posts to get a feel for what they say and how they treat others. You may be surprised to find they are very thoughtful and caring and then you might just decide not to attack them.

It is fine to debate, to disagree and to offer alternative opinions. That is one of the best parts of the forums -- getting different perspectives/sides of an issue. But when you have to resort to personal insults to disagree, then it is obvious you have no contribution of your own.

People should not think that a couple of recent volunteer activities somehow elevates them into such a lofty position that they can look down on a breeder that has made a lifetime commitment to the breed, contributing YEARS of valuable information, education, and responsible breeding practices to better the breed and help educate both Yorkie owners and new breeders alike. No one should make assumptions about another member before they get to know them! When someone has to start tooting their own horn, to try to make a point, it belittles their input, IMO.

We have the absolute honor of several experienced and devout Yorkie breeders sharing their wealth of knowledge with us here on YT. They deserve our respect and courtesy! If we do not stop abusing the priviledge of their presence here, we could very well lose it!

All I am asking is a little bit of restraint for those new to the forum. Take time to get to know the members, learn the contributions of others, and don't be so quick to draw conclusions that may well be unfounded and make you look the fool. If you disagree with a subject, address the subject only. Do not make character assasinations just because you think differently. Feel free to take on an issue, but stick to the issue and not personal insults or name calling. Don't try to twist what someone says just so you can make a magnanimous statement.

If you think it is a bad idea, say it is a bad idea, not a bad member. Remember that when a seasoned breeder offers another side of an issue, it just might be a good idea to LISTEN! We have all seen how one-way organizations and media can slant an issue and make isolated incidents appear to be the norm. Keep your minds open! None of us are perfect and I have made mistakes in being too quick to answer too. These reminders are good for all of us to think about.

Hopefully I have made it clear that in no way am I suggesting that you can't argue with an experienced, knowlegeable breeder. All I am saying, is keep it professional without the insults and KNOW what you are talking about before you make obvious wrong conclusions. Sticking your foot in your mouth right off the bat may take a long time to overcome when it comes to the rest of the forum respecting you! Always read more than you type. If we close our minds we miss a lot of learning opportunities. Speak your mind, but mind your speech!

On heated threads, I think that sometimes is a good idea to hit the reply button type what your initial thoughts are and then delete everything you just typed and start over!

[joeyandtanksmom]

I would consider myself to be fairly new to YT, and I'm definitely learning all the time! I will put in my opinion where I feel it fit, but I try to not be rude about my point of view, even when I strongly disagree about the topic. I definitely think, though, that there are a LOT of people that know what they're doing, and have been doing it for quite a long time. I one day hope to breed Yorkies (there is not one "registered" breeder or anything in Idaho - they aren't online at all), and I've been able to do a lot of research on this site. I would certainly say to anyone who wants to go out and thrash anyone on this site to think again, and try to say their thoughts in more respectful ways. Thanks to whoever started this thread!