I Am Sorry!

[SnugsColeman]

I just got back on here after dinner. I can not believe this thread is going. Everyone here has made me feel so much better than what I started out at earlier today. I am the kind of person if I miss up I must own up to it...my g.mother raised me that way... and that is all I really wonted to do was say I am sorry and thank you for the lesson...life goes on you live and learn and I am very greatful for what I did learn... God Bless you all!
ps : no one ment any harm when they wrote i know that i upset them and they just let me know... no bad remarks were made.... just letting me know. i like it here a yt and have ment wonderful people God Blesses us all any many ways and this in one. We don't have any bad people here just letting me know. If I did not get the emails I would not have never known.....

[nemo366]

hi snugs

i have just read all of this and i think it was my first ever post on yt that you mentioned teacup. i just want to say that you made me feel very welcome on yt and you even sent me a buddy request to which i was so grateful. i was certainly not offended in any way that you mentioned bella was a teacup i actually thought that this was quite a cute term for her. obviously i am wrong aswell. but if i want to think my bella reminds me of a teacup i think i am quite entitled to do so as she is mine and i love her very much and mind her even more because she is so small. so all i want to say to you is this, if every first time poster on yt has you to reply to them they will feel so very welcome on this site and return again and again. you are such a warm and friendly person. so snugs keep on posting and making people smile. even people and yorkies from the other side of the world. ps i am really sorry my post got you into so much bother with others.

[lexipoo]

Count me in too...wine in fine at any time LOL
Hugs Cheryl & Lexi

[AbbysMom08]

Originally Posted by TOY

I can understand being corrected for words that historically are considered hate words or are demeaning to someone's heritage. I would hope that none of us would remain silent on terminology that is said to hurt or to lessen someone in the world.

However, I cannot understand why words such as teacup incites such a fervor that it embarrasses or humiliates the speaker/writer especially when they are newcomers or guests.

In my opinion the rudeness of such is much more damaging than someone using the wrong terminology to describe a Yorkie. There is a better way to gently correct someone and lead them to the "jargon" that graces this breed than to embarrass or ridicule.

To the OP...as others before me have also said, do not be distressed about your choice of words. I'm just grateful to see that you did not let it deter you from returning to the board.

My Yorkie is not a teacup but were she so, I would have no problem hearing her called such because it is just a word. It's not even a word with negative connotations in our society. The word teacup to me conjures up a special, dainty piece of delicate china. Sounds about right for my Yorkie on the days she's acting like a prissy little diva. On the days she's acting out from her wild child persona the word mug might be a better fit!

I don't really care what you call my Yorkie. Words don't have any impact on how special or beloved she is. In fact, if someone can come up with one word that describes her dynamic personalitiy all wrapped up in a five pound bundle of kinetic energy, please let me know. I'll see if I can get the word submitted to Webster's as one of the new words for 2009. I've worked with words all my professional life and still cannot capture the one word that adequately describes my Yorkie.

Please go a bit easier on yourself.
I've had Yorkies for 30 years. I am familiar with the term and it doesn't bother me one way or another. I just descibe my baby as the runt or tiny. I know that "bad" breeders use it to try to sell puppies. I guess there are just more important things that I could get fired up about.
Everyone is entitled to their feelings and I respect that.
We have a saying in my profession, "don't eat your young".
What we mean by that is, when a new person starts working, please take them under your wing, teach them, give them the guidance they need and they will become all the better for your help.
Please be kind to yourself. You meant no harm. You sound like a very caring person. Take care and God Bless.

[BaileyGates]

I guess it aint a good idea to call my Bailey a little rat then LOL my bf even told me how to say rat in greek, so he gets called rat in english and greek too!! hehehehehehee little Bondigore!!

[Morkie4]

Originally Posted by SnugsColeman

I am glad I got the messages here on the other... they were no hateful but helpful and very greatful about it. Really no joke! I just hate that I made people upset. I would not say or do something wrong on purpose and just to let everyone know that....

The people that got upset with you..............too sensitive!!!! JMHO

[FlDebra]

Originally Posted by SnugsColeman

I just got back on here and checked my mail. I said something on here I was not suppose to say. Really I got 2 mails another came in my hubby's email from his website. I said t-cup and tiny t-cup. I am sorry I had no idea. I just always heard them called that. I did not mean no harm. Thank you for letting me know that those are not they way to say that. I did study and talk to many breeds and vets and no one has ever said to me dont say those words. I do know that small can be harmful during labor for a female. I just feel so bad about this. I did not mean to get anyone upset or to start an fuss. I am not this way. The only reason I said those words again just now for everyone knows what I have said and newbies will not hopefully make the same mistake as I did. I did not read the replies I am sorry to say I emptied my box before I could read. I just now go back on here cause my son's birthday was yesterday (the big 10). I really am so sorry. I feel so bad I am REALLY in tears. I love my babies so much. I would never use those terms to place a yorkie (or any other animal) in a home. I will very much keep this in mind and try to remember it in the future. Like I said I am sure I got replies on that (2 that I know of) not sure if some where nice and if some was not...however I did not know better...really I did not! I never heard of this until now. So thank you for letting me know. Please forgive me! I am sorry....

I am livid! I have not been online a lot lately and just read this post and all of the following posts that now make me feel horrible when I sent you a VERY NICE PM about yorkies and terms. I specifically told you that I don't get uptight at all about the terms teacup or tinies and that they can be descriptive! I did tell you again VERY NICELY that some have a bad feeling about the words only because some disreputable breeders have used the words to sell and breed too small of Yorkies. At no time did I write ANYTHING remotely to make you think you had done anything needing forgiven!! I just thught you might want to know since you are breeding! It was supposed to be HELPFUL!

If you did not read the posts then why would you just assume that someone was ragging on you and that you had anything to apologize for? The way you word your post is like someone told you they were bad words or something. Obviously everyone else thought so too as the resulting replies seem to want to verbally beat up on the persons sending you the PMs. I sent one of them and will readily admit it because I did NOTHING wrong, insinuated NOTHING bad, and did nothing more than write a nice, polite, friendly, and welcoming pm to you. I won't make that mistake again!

I cannot understand at all why you would write that you are "IN TEARS" when you did not even read the PMs? Why would you be "in tears" for something you do not know what it said? I can resend you a copy from my "sent" pms if you would like and you can see that it said NOTHING bad at all! It was meant as a heads up, a nice way to let you know. At no time did I say not to use the terms, or that the terms were bad, or needed apologized for. I simply thought you might want to know that to some they have a negative connotation. I was VERY careful to word my post in such a way that there could be NO OFFENSE taken. I made it clear that I don't have any problem with the terms! Which I don't and I have posted that publically several times before. If I wanted to start trouble I would have posted it on the forum and not sent a nice discreet PM that should have been just between us and in no way thought negatively about at all. Actually I sort of thought I might get a nice PM in return from you. Not in my wildest imagination would I have guessed that you were harboring ill will about the PM! I still do not get it at all! How on earth would you get all these negative feelings if yo did not read the pms? Does no one else find this ODD!?!?!

To all who automatically assumed that there was something bad in the PMs she got when she herself said she did not read them......I don't even know what to say. I can see how she manipulated the wording to make everyone think something bad was said, but I assure you that mine had nothing bad at ALL! Which makes me think that the other one could have been just as nicely worded too. I really dislike this sort of thing -- trying to make mountains of less than molehills, trying to create theatrics and drama where NONE should be. Well maybe she wanted all the sympathy but I don't think it should come at the expense of others who thought they were doing nothing but a good deed, giving a little heads up on the QT -- QT! HA! IF anyone thinks that perhaps I am aggravated over this -- I AM! I am fuming that anyone took my absolutely nice PM and tried to turn it into a hate topic.

[mnewco]

Originally Posted by FlDebra

I am livid! I have not been online a lot lately and just read this post and all of the following posts that now make me feel horrible when I sent you a VERY NICE PM about yorkies and terms. I specifically told you that I don't get uptight at all about the terms teacup or tinies and that they can be descriptive! I did tell you again VERY NICELY that some have a bad feeling about the words only because some disreputable breeders have used the words to sell and breed too small of Yorkies. At no time did I write ANYTHING remotely to make you think you had done anything needing forgiven!! I just thught you might want to know since you are breeding! It was supposed to be HELPFUL!

If you did not read the posts then why would you just assume that someone was ragging on you and that you had anything to apologize for? The way you word your post is like someone told you they were bad words or something. Obviously everyone else thought so too as the resulting replies seem to want to verbally beat up on the persons sending you the PMs. I sent one of them and will readily admit it because I did NOTHING wrong, insinuated NOTHING bad, and did nothing more than write a nice, polite, friendly, and welcoming pm to you. I won't make that mistake again!

I cannot understand at all why you would write that you are "IN TEARS" when you did not even read the PMs? Why would you be "in tears" for something you do not know what it said? I can resend you a copy from my "sent" pms if you would like and you can see that it said NOTHING bad at all! It was meant as a heads up, a nice way to let you know. At no time did I say not to use the terms, or that the terms were bad, or needed apologized for. I simply thought you might want to know that to some they have a negative connotation. I was VERY careful to word my post in such a way that there could be NO OFFENSE taken. I made it clear that I don't have any problem with the terms! Which I don't and I have posted that publically several times before. If I wanted to start trouble I would have posted it on the forum and not sent a nice discreet PM that should have been just between us and in no way thought negatively about at all. Actually I sort of thought I might get a nice PM in return from you. Not in my wildest imagination would I have guessed that you were harboring ill will about the PM! I still do not get it at all! How on earth would you get all these negative feelings if yo did not read the pms? Does no one else find this ODD!?!?!

To all who automatically assumed that there was something bad in the PMs she got when she herself said she did not read them......I don't even know what to say. I can see how she manipulated the wording to make everyone think something bad was said, but I assure you that mine had nothing bad at ALL! Which makes me think that the other one could have been just as nicely worded too. I really dislike this sort of thing -- trying to make mountains of less than molehills, trying to create theatrics and drama where NONE should be. Well maybe she wanted all the sympathy but I don't think it should come at the expense of others who thought they were doing nothing but a good deed, giving a little heads up on the QT -- QT! HA! IF anyone thinks that perhaps I am aggravated over this -- I AM! I am fuming that anyone took my absolutely nice PM and tried to turn it into a hate topic.

I think you are taking her post wrong. She was in tears because she felt bad for using the term. She was not in tears because she thought the PMs were bad. She can correct me if I am wrong in interpreting her post.

Please don't be hard on her. In a few weeks you won't even be bothered by this thread.

As I have said, there is nothing wrong with wording your dog as a teacup. It is a word that also means very small in he dog world. An owner, I feel has the right to be able to use that word.

The OP now knows how you feel. Please don't drive her away.

[mnewco]

I have never understood boards that can make someone feel so wanted and welcomed and then months later, turn against them for something so ridiculous. And I am only speaking about those that get upset about the word 'teacup'.

[crystalsmom]

Originally Posted by TOY

I can understand being corrected for words that historically are considered hate words or are demeaning to someone's heritage. I would hope that none of us would remain silent on terminology that is said to hurt or to lessen someone in the world.

However, I cannot understand why words such as teacup incites such a fervor that it embarrasses or humiliates the speaker/writer especially when they are newcomers or guests.

In my opinion the rudeness of such is much more damaging than someone using the wrong terminology to describe a Yorkie. There is a better way to gently correct someone and lead them to the "jargon" that graces this breed than to embarrass or ridicule.

To the OP...as others before me have also said, do not be distressed about your choice of words. I'm just grateful to see that you did not let it deter you from returning to the board.

My Yorkie is not a teacup but were she so, I would have no problem hearing her called such because it is just a word. It's not even a word with negative connotations in our society. The word teacup to me conjures up a special, dainty piece of delicate china. Sounds about right for my Yorkie on the days she's acting like a prissy little diva. On the days she's acting out from her wild child persona the word mug might be a better fit!

I don't really care what you call my Yorkie. Words don't have any impact on how special or beloved she is. In fact, if someone can come up with one word that describes her dynamic personalitiy all wrapped up in a five pound bundle of kinetic energy, please let me know. I'll see if I can get the word submitted to Webster's as one of the new words for 2009. I've worked with words all my professional life and still cannot capture the one word that adequately describes my Yorkie.

liked it all but that third paragraph is exactly what I was thinking.

Sorry I'm late for the drink, I'll try to stop by tomorrow
Sweetie, don't waste a minute even thinking about this and if I could only find you this wonderful thread we had once about teacups, mugs, buckets etc (all about our different size yorkies) you would really have a laugh! Does anyone else remember the name of it?

[crystalsmom]

I just read FlDebra's post and I would like to say that all the posts I have seen of her's are always tackful and I don't think she would ever try to hurt anyones feeling but just maybe give her a head up that she could run into problems if she were not aware of how the word makes some go crazy.

Others maybe were not so nice who knows and like mnewco said it may not have been the pm's that bothered her at all.

I wish I could find that thread, we need a laugh.

[FlDebra]

Originally Posted by mnewco

I have never understood boards that can make someone feel so wanted and welcomed and then months later, turn against them for something so ridiculous. And I am only speaking about those that get upset about the word 'teacup'.

That's the thing -- I don't think ANYONE was upset over the word teacup! I sure was not and I was one of the ones who sent her a PM. She wants to be a breeder, selling her pups. If you want to do that, it is a good idea to follow the YTCA. It is mentioned all the time on this forum that websites advertisting teacups and tinies are red flags. I figured someone might want to know about that if they plan to sell yorkies.

All of the outrage over someone supposedly getting upset about the word is uncalled for because I do not think anyone did.

[crystalsmom]

Debra, you are only thinking of what you said to her, not knowing what others might have. Lets say you are new and you get two pms and a couple emails and they were all telling her the same thing, I would surely think I had done something wrong and want to start it over by making it right with a thread.

I can see how she could be upset. I also can see how you would want people to know what you had said, so they wouldn't think differently.

[FlDebra]

Originally Posted by mnewco

I think you are taking her post wrong. She was in tears because she felt bad for using the term. She was not in tears because she thought the PMs were bad. She can correct me if I am wrong in interpreting her post.

Please don't be hard on her. In a few weeks you won't even be bothered by this thread.

As I have said, there is nothing wrong with wording your dog as a teacup. It is a word that also means very small in he dog world. An owner, I feel has the right to be able to use that word.

The OP now knows how you feel. Please don't drive her away.

In a few weeks I won't be bothered by this thread? I think you are wrong. Tell me if you had tried to make sure you wrote a post that was nice in every way and a little heads up for someone who says they are a breeder and want to sell Yorkies, and then you read these excerpts SUPPOSEDLY about something that you had written (knowing full well you had done nothing of the kind!), how would YOU FEEL?

"I think it's awful that you had to receive e-mails from people who obviously get a thrill out of making others feel bad. I guess if they talk down to people and treat them as if they are stupid it makes them feel smarter. In all reality it just makes them look all that much more stupid.
I'm glad your staying and you will find that the helpful nice people far outweigh the bad." --I do NOT get a thrill out of making others feel bad, did not talk down to anyone, and am not stupid!

"However, I cannot understand why words such as teacup incites such a fervor that it embarrasses or humiliates the speaker/writer especially when they are newcomers or guests." -- I did not embarrass or humiliate anyone!

"In my opinion the rudeness of such is much more damaging than someone using the wrong terminology to describe a Yorkie. There is a better way to gently correct someone and lead them to the "jargon" that graces this breed than to embarrass or ridicule." -- I was NOT rude to anyone and did not embarrass or ridicule.

"You did nothing wrong. If anyone of those emails showed any kind of meaness then they need to sit in a corner and think about what they said." I showed no meanness and do not need to sit in a corner!

"The people that got upset with you..............too sensitive!!!!" -- I was not too sensitive and was NOT upset before you all started with the written bashing.

In summary: I was not rude, I was not upset, I was not demeaning. I did not humiliate, embarrass or ridicule the OP. What better way to 'GENTLY CORRECT" someone than to send a very nicely worded PM privately to let them know how some may feel about the term when it is used by breeders?

BTW she says in one post that she deleted the pms without reading them, doesn't even know what they said, but somehow makes a whole thread about what she feels about the unread posts? Then she writes later in the thread, after everyone has already gotten up in arms: "no one ment any harm when they wrote i know that i upset them and they just let me know... no bad remarks were made.... just letting me know." So, she must have read them? I certainly was not upset and nothing in my PM suggested that I was upset. In fact I wrote specifically, "Some really get upset over the Tea cup titles because some disreputable breeders have used the term to sell undersized puppies in the past. I don't get uptight over the term if it is just being used as you did to say the pup is smaller than average. But, it is a good idea to steer clear of the term, if you can." So, I think I made it quite clear that I was not upset, not ridiculing her or anything negative. It was supposed to be taken as friendly info.

I'll save PMs for people I know from now on so they will not be misrepresented.

[FlDebra]

Originally Posted by crystalsmom

Debra, you are only thinking of what you said to her, not knowing what others might have. Lets say you are new and you get two pms and a couple emails and they were all telling her the same thing, I would surely think I had done something wrong and want to start it over by making it right with a thread.

I can see how she could be upset. I also can see how you would want people to know what you had said, so they wouldn't think differently.

But if she did not even read them, why would she be upset or why would she think they were all telling her the same thing? Since I know that mine was positive, I feel I should give the benefit of the doubt to the other person who pm'd her that they may have been positive too. Why ASSUME anyone was negative?

You are right -- I do want people to know that I did not write anything like what is being suggested. I think it is horrible to jump on anyone about using the teacup term. I thought I was being helpful. I also think it is terrible for others to jump on someone without the facts. I think posting with hysterics saying they are "in tears" over something they "did not read" is wrong too. It just riles everyone up.

I could have just kept my mouth shut and not admitted that I pm'd her. But why do that? I had nothing to be ashamed of. I really thought people should know the truth about at least one of the two pms she got. If she got two? I have no idea bout the email as I don't know how anyone got her husband's email addy.