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Old 08-15-2008, 10:18 PM   #1
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Unlove Animal Cruelty

O.K. so I have a problem with my fiancee's mother. Recently I have come to find out she has committed serious animal cruelty. My fiancee's sister told me that a few months ago, her mom got very drunk and belligerent. Apparently she was complaining about their black lab named Patch and his old age and illnesses. But she is positive that it costs money to "put him down," so she is going to just do it herself. So in her drunken stupor, she gets their handgun, and shoots their "family dog" in the head several times in front of her 17 year old daughter(my fiancee's sister). I could not believe my ears. I was aghast when I heard this, and apparently my fiancee's sister buried their poor dog in their yard, and I'm sure you can imagine the sight. I still can't believe someone could shoot a dog they have had for at least 12 years. And in such a violent and painful way. WHY? I will never understand. Unfortunately, my fiancee is in the Marine Corps, does not live here, and is currently in Iraq for 7 months.

I have noticed animal cruelty behavior with my fiancee's mother before, such as whapping her OTHER dog(Bear) in the face when he is not wanted or "does something bad." I have myself seen her hit their dog in the face about twice, and I never go to their house. No telling what goes on when I am not there to visit. They also have several cats and a rabbit. I have such a dilemma with this issue. I told my fiancee, and he is just beside himself. But there is nothing he can do right now, because he wont even be back in the states until February of 2009. I don't know what to do. I feel like I should report her, let an official know, something!! In my opinion- she should not own animals of any kind!! I don't know what to do. I don't think that she knows *I* know. But this happened a few months ago, I wish I would have known immediately. I am not sure if its too late to let Animal Cruelty investigators know, and if I did, I'm sure she'd have a nice fine to pay, and perhaps jail time. But I am not sure how my fiancee and his family would feel about me taking it to that level. If it saves an animal, then I really don't care. If something did happen, I would just hate to have to testify against my future "mother-in-law." This seems to me like a delicate conundrum and I'm really not sure what to do. Can someone give me some advice? Thanks very much.
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Old 08-15-2008, 10:49 PM   #2
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Well, that is a tough situation. I can tell you this though, as I was active duty and my husband was a Marine as well. I wouldn't try to talk to your fiancee about this right now. He is over there & is in a very tough situation and that would be the last thing he needs on his mind. While I agree that his mom needs something done about her, you do not want to detract his focus from his mission, possibly endangering himself or his fellow service memebers. If you can, have his sister keep you up to date about their animals and how she is doing. When he is home from Iraq would be the time to talk to him about the situation. I know it is a hard thing to deal with, but, you also have to remember he loves you and his mother. Him being thousands of miles away and not being able to help or comfort you and talk to his mother can't be something that is going to help him out, as I am sure he is missing home right now.
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Old 08-15-2008, 10:51 PM   #3
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Don't really know what you should do, but I feel for your situation. I had a lot of issues with my mother in law (def not her favorite person) but to actually call the law on her would cause a lot of problems. Talk it over with your fiancee. See what he thinks you should do.
Keep in mind the best thing to do imho would be to call it in to possibly help the other animals. But it would be a call only you can make in the end no matter our opinions cause you have to live with the repercussions of it.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:10 PM   #4
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Oh dear! I feel so badly for you. What an awful situation to be in. This sounds like a frightening woman.

I don't think any advice you are going to get will be any better than the ones you have received. Both are excellent responses and extremely accurate.


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Originally Posted by s13silviagirl View Post
Well, that is a tough situation. I can tell you this though, as I was active duty and my husband was a Marine as well. I wouldn't try to talk to your fiancee about this right now. He is over there & is in a very tough situation and that would be the last thing he needs on his mind. While I agree that his mom needs something done about her, you do not want to detract his focus from his mission, possibly endangering himself or his fellow service memebers. If you can, have his sister keep you up to date about their animals and how she is doing. When he is home from Iraq would be the time to talk to him about the situation. I know it is a hard thing to deal with, but, you also have to remember he loves you and his mother. Him being thousands of miles away and not being able to help or comfort you and talk to his mother can't be something that is going to help him out, as I am sure he is missing home right now.
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Don't really know what you should do, but I feel for your situation. I had a lot of issues with my mother in law (def not her favorite person) but to actually call the law on her would cause a lot of problems. Talk it over with your fiancee. See what he thinks you should do.
Keep in mind the best thing to do imho would be to call it in to possibly help the other animals. But it would be a call only you can make in the end no matter our opinions cause you have to live with the repercussions of it.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:35 PM   #5
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I have a friend that just turned in a family member and they were able to investigate without revealing her identity.

If they investigate and find the dog in the backyard they may not need anything more from you. Call your animal control and see what they say about it. You might be able to prevent her from owning another dog for a long time.
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Old 08-15-2008, 11:40 PM   #6
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I know in Texas killing your own dog in that fashion or worse wouldn't even be illegal(hard to believe, but true). I wouldn't be surprised if the same goes for Louisiana. I do think she is guilty of child endangerment and abuse though. I would consider calling CPS b/c it sound like his sister was reaching out to you.

I know it's not my place but I would do some serious soul searching if I were you, especially if your fiance and his mom are close or you are going to live near her. Do you really want to put up with this unhinged alcoholic for the rest of her life? Do you want your pets and future kids around her? You're in a sticky situation b/c this isn't the time to bring all this up with your fiance. JMO, but I wouldn't go through with the marriage unless he is willing to put some distance between himself and mom.
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Old 08-16-2008, 12:04 AM   #7
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I agree with the first response in that you should keep from talking to your fiance about it right now. He needs to keep his mind focused on what he's doing right now. I wish I could give you some advice but I don't really know what to say other than I'm sorry you are in this situation. I can relate in a way; several years ago I was dating a guy, one drunken weekend he had with all his buddies, one of his friends slipped out to me that my *ex* boyfriend had hanged the family dog in their backyard. Words can't describe what I felt in that moment. In my situation, there was no way I could be with someone like that, he didn't have any other animals so there was nothing more for me to do than just leave.

Maybe your future MIL needs some help with alcohol abuse? Not trying to judge here, but if she is doing these things when she is drunk
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Old 08-16-2008, 12:20 AM   #8
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wow. i am really sorry you are in this situation. i can only imagine the anger and sickness you are feeling toward her! don't have much advice.. its tough! but those poor doggies! in your heart you will know what you need to do.
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Old 08-16-2008, 04:57 AM   #9
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Quote:
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wow. i am really sorry you are in this situation. i can only imagine the anger and sickness you are feeling toward her! don't have much advice.. its tough! but those poor doggies! in your heart you will know what you need to do.
I'm speechless - she needs help - if she did that drunk - imagine what could happen to a child if she lost her cool - that woman needs to be reported and ALL GUNS taken away,

that poor dog. That made me ill
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Old 08-16-2008, 07:00 AM   #10
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If I was in your situation I would report her but not tell anyone I did it. If you know where the dog was buried they can dig it up and use it as evidence. She should not own animals and she seems to be a danger to herself and her family. Do you think she is drinking because your fiance is Iraq? Has she changed since he has been gone or has she always acted like this? She definately needs help, so does her other animals.
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Old 08-16-2008, 07:10 AM   #11
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If they investigate and find the dog in the backyard they may not need anything more from you. Call your animal control and see what they say about it. You might be able to prevent her from owning another dog for a long time.
I was thinking the same thing... They can dig up the dog and they will see the bullets in the poor dogs skull

Here is where you can report them Request for Animal Cruelty Investigation

I know in NJ they cant revel to the person who called in the complaint for obvious reasons
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Old 08-16-2008, 07:35 AM   #12
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You must report her. She is obviously a danger to every animal she owns and - you said it yourself - she shouldn't have any. As another person said, if she did this drunk to an animal, what's she capable of with children? Letting it go only sends the message that what she did is perfectly okay.
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Old 08-16-2008, 07:55 AM   #13
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Its been to long the only thing that will come of this is her anger to you you are second hand info daughter wont tell cops I would warn her when the time is right that if this happens when Im around I will turn you in so if it happens then to bad for the crazy ladie
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Old 08-16-2008, 08:21 AM   #14
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You can call without leaving your name. I'd tell them the dogs buried in the back yard so they can dig him up and see the bullet shots. She doesn't deserve any animals and needs to go to AA.
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Old 08-16-2008, 09:22 AM   #15
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As one of the above poster stated this may not even be illegal (the shooting) I just found out that in PA where I live it is not. A puppy mill owner near me just shot over 50 dogs because AKC visited and said he had to have medical attention for his animals so rather then spend the money on vet bills he just shot the dogs. It's a sad world we live in
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