runs from me....

[YorkieSpirit1]

everytime I try to pick her up, she backs away and then runs, I am the only one that takes full care of her, feeds her, bathes her, brush her, walk her, play with her....she is 6 months old and now lately when I approach her she is backing up and then I try to pick her up she runs around the kitchen from me...the only way I can get her is to get a little piece of a treat and she will come to me to eat it, then I pick her up....not only is this upsetting me, it is very frustrating.....I really don't want to have to give her a treat everytime I want to pick her up to do anything!!! How can I stop this behaviour? I've tried walking away from her when she does this and ignoring her, but then she just starts barking at me..like 'come and get me why don't you mama?'..I don't like this game and want it to stop, but don't know how to get her to stop this... I love her so much, I want her to want to come to me when I want her to..

[chachi]

I think she will in time. When chachi was younger it was always a chase game because he had so much energy but now he will come when you call him. I think teaching her to come using treats is a good idea. As long as your giving a command come each time. Eventually she will just come because shes used to the command and you wont have to use treats

[YorkieSpirit1]

I haven't told you the nightmare that happened yesterday, I took Emy out for a walk on her leash, I always carry her out to the driveway put her down and double wrap her leash around my wrist, cause she pulls so bad on her leash..I was taking some mail out to be picked up at the end of our driveway...we have a long driveway off a busy 4 lane highway..I put Emy down and was going to wrap the leash around my wrist and she jumped, and the leash slipped out of my hand...!!!!! she was heading for the highway ....I screamed and started after her, but stopped because of the very reason of my original post, that she runs from me...I immediately dropped the mail on the concrete driveway and dropped to the ground like I was hurt, she immediately stopped and looked and me and I called out to her pitifully like I was hurt and she came back to me!!!...her ears were flattened to her head and she almost crawled to me, when she got a little close and went for the leash and got her and scooped her up and couldn't kiss her enough....I thought that it was the end...being so close to a highway....I almost really had a heart attack...when I needed her to come to me the most she did...thank god for that...but I still have the problem in the house...her running from me....

[chachi]

Well what a scary and sweet story she knew to come to you when it was essential to do so. I do believe if you train her to come to you she will. The chase game she plays is just part of being a puppy

[JoeyP]

Haha .... don't take it to heart

You answered your own question without realizing

You stated that you are the sole provider for her needs .... you feed her.(Loves That) Bath her (Probably Hates that) Groom her (Probably hates that too)

Dogs don't think to themselves .... hey this lady does EVERYTHING for me
They think Uh Oh there are those hands again that sometimes get me into trouble
Some dogs are more naturally skiddish
One of mine runs from me everytime as well ... unless I say You wanna Treat?
Then he comes with bells on
You need for your dog to make the connection where everytime you pick her up she gets something good out of it
So treats help ... Hugs and kisses? Mebbe but tailor it to what your dog likes and be aware that if you are doing something that your dog doesn't like soften the blow with some nice chicken or some squeaky toy time first

What also helps is when you call her especially if she is a pup still crouch down to call her and don't stretch out your hands ...... little dogs sometimes get frightened of this big person hunching over with these big hands trying to grab them

[yorkietalkjilly]

Originally Posted by JoeyP

Haha .... don't take it to heart

You answered your own question without realizing

You stated that you are the sole provider for her needs .... you feed her.(Loves That) Bath her (Probably Hates that) Groom her (Probably hates that too)

Dogs don't think to themselves .... hey this lady does EVERYTHING for me
They think Uh Oh there are those hands again that sometimes get me into trouble
Some dogs are more naturally skiddish
One of mine runs from me everytime as well ... unless I say You wanna Treat?
Then he comes with bells on
You need for your dog to make the connection where everytime you pick her up she gets something good out of it
So treats help ... Hugs and kisses? Mebbe but tailor it to what your dog likes and be aware that if you are doing something that your dog doesn't like soften the blow with some nice chicken or some squeaky toy time first

What also helps is when you call her especially if she is a pup still crouch down to call her and don't stretch out your hands ...... little dogs sometimes get frightened of this big person hunching over with these big hands trying to grab them

JoeyP summed it up beautifully. Obviously there are some fears and trust issues going on with her but she's not playing some game with you - running and not letting you approach her, then barking at you if you want to walk away. She is not fully confident in you and she doesn't know how to overcome her worries currently. Soften your approach, be somewhat diffident for a time and mostly let her come to you - however long it might take. I would even sidle up to her slowly rather than approaching her directly for a time - anything over the next 2 weeks or so to help take away whatever fears your baby has associated with you & your approaches, etc. Some especially sensitive dogs take unpleasant things we have to do to them such as bathing, nail clipping, personally, especially if the owner/caregiver is a little scared or worried about the situation, a little lacking in confidence or worried how the dog is going to take it.

The coming back to you as you were on the ground in a non-threatening attitude yourself, when she had been bolting away, dragging the leash, is a well-known tact used by experienced handlers in this situation for the very reason that the nervous or scared dog will much more readily come to their handler/caregiver when the person is down on their level and not as "threatening" or overpowering as they can seem when they are panicked, scared & chasing them. What you did in getting down and using a different psychological tactic was brilliant under the circumstances and tells you that dog will willingly approach and come to you under less worrisome, "threatening" circumstances and as somewhat of an equal.

So follow Joey's lead & advice & further, distance yourself from you dog for a bit, allowing a trusted grooming service to do the "bad" things for a time if you can and stay aloof from the dog, just dropping treats as she comes near, dropping one as you pass by her and otherwise arranging for good things to happen when you are near her but not forcing the issue. You want to give her some time to deal with whatever fears or unpleasant associations she has formed with you, causing the running from you. Give her some time to deal and heal. Change things up for a time. Just live and let live and don't force anything, approach & pick her up as little as possible and when you sit down, just place a few choice treats around your person, the chair, etc. But don't pick her up - just allow her to experience being near you and living in the same house without you calling her to you or really taking active interaction. Allow her to see you as completely nonthreatening, with hands not always reaching for her and over time, she should slowly begin to approach you and sniff you, nudge your hand and such. At these times for a while, I would stay somewhat distant emotionally with this type dog and allow her to "woo" you, with only an occasional hand on her tummy in a little tickle, a rubbing her side, nothing more. I wouldn't actively approach or reach for her until she was being quite a bit more forward and really "asking" for attention. I'd withhold active reaction until I saw a bit of a wiggle in her behind during her interactions in trying to get your reaction, interactions. Remember, she's associated you with something unpleasant, causing this current situation, so you want to remember not to be too dynamic in your responses to her eventual approaches for fear of bestirring the old worries & concerns - so go slowly for a while.

A couple of weeks of theses type things might just do the trick in reshaping her attitudes that have formed into what they are toward you right now and for what unknown reasons. It will break the current patterns and give her time to form some new ways of seeing you.

Just try it and see if allowing her to take the lead and becoming merely a fairly aloof living companion who feeds, waters and does the minimum won't start to calm her a bit. Plus, the treatdropping when you walk by or she approaches, won't hurt whatever fears she's dealing with internally but should remove you as something that adds to them. And don't forget placing boiled chicken or turkey hot dog bits around yourself as you sit & ignore her will make your person highly attractive to her basic food instinct as she begins to deal with her unknown fears and learns you are really nice and nuanced and sensitive enough to allow her to workout some things without pressing her. In time, this should buy you some trust credits and then, once trust exists, love can blossom and grow unhindered.

Since our dogs can't talk out their fears and worries, all we can do is try to guess what is wrong and change things to help them work through and deal with problems they have with us. With a dog currently running from me and then barking for attention, you realize this isn't a game to her, not at all, it's her asking for help the only way she can by showing you she's afraid of something about you but still wants a relationship and wanting your help in getting through her fears.

Once she's comfortable with you again, start a good positive-reward and fun obedience program for her. Teaching dogs to do the things we say and then them getting lots of positive reinforcement, treats and praise and love form us in return just works wonders forming beautiful bonds with our dogs. It shows us how smart they are and fills them with a sense of responsibility and gives them some work to do. It's a win-win situation in building a good relationship with a dog companion.

[YorkieSpirit1]

I do get on the floor to try to get her to come to me, but everytime I go to reach for her...she backs up....I think she thinks its a game, cause when she wants to go to bed in her crate at bedtime, I go watch tv in the bedroom also at same time, she just stands there waiting for me to pick her up...so she lets me pick her up when she wants me to. LOL...but when she got away from me in the driveway...I was petrified, I still can't believe she came back to me when I dropped down to the driveway and acted like I was hurt...I was so relieved when I saw her crawling to me, with her ears flattened down on her head....broke my heart...I was so relieved I had her back....everytime I take her harness leash and coat off, I sit on the floor and take everything off slowly cause she used to like to jump out of the harness, but she's going to hurt herself, so I just sit on the kitchen floor, then once I have everything off and I'm holding her, I just hug her to me and tell her 'I love you' and gently let her out of my arms...she still likes to get her little feet going on the kitchen floor, but I think its helped not letting her jump out of the harness and her clothes..

[yorkietalkjilly]

I don't think she is playing a game. I think she's got some trust issues with you and your hands and with your picking her up, approaching her. I've dealt with dogs with this problem before & they react wonderfully and stop all of that "game" once they are dealt with for a while as I outlined. They want interaction and a relationship, they just don't like something about the way it is currently happening. When I've backed off, distanced, sidled, deferred and treatdropped, these dogs will start to come around every time, stop moving away as I reach for them and no need to bark for me to get them - and then run off, bark, I reach, run off, bark, etc. They just stop all that and let me get them any and every time. What I suggested just lets them see me in a different way for a while and then the trust issues, "game" playing and running away stop. Several rescues I've worked with had this issue from their formers lives and distancing, etc, helped them deal with my approaches and learn to accept hands and approaching with no "games". It showed me they had concerns at first and then came to trust me completely once I gave them a different approach for a while and let them start to approach me with little or no response until they had developed more trust in my hands, reaching, etc. But whatever method you find that works for you and your dog and stops her running away from you when approached is what you should use.

[yorkietalkjilly]

P. S. A lot of small dogs such as Yorkie & Chi's have this type of reaction to their owners as young dogs after they have lived with us a while. Our hands are at them frequently and after a few weeks of living around us, they have seen those hands slam the door, drop a glass that shatters on the floor, run the vacuum cleaner, hold the phone as we chew the customer service clerk out in a loud voice, get out the dog shampoo, clippers, treats and fill their bowls with good food. Sometimes when we pick them up, it might hurt a little or we swoop them up fast, kind of scary and sometimes our hands plunge them into water and pour more over their head and other times we use them with tools that pull their hair or hurt their toenails.

Tiny animals that they are living in our big world and seeing all that they do of how we live life - our good sides and our bad, they are bound to have some conflicts and trust issues with these big human creatures they live with, especially the first year. While they love our caressing hands and the hands that feed them treats, they sure witness & experience those hands in all kinds of situations. Over time and living with us, they eventually do come to accept our hands without running backward or moving away usually anyway but if you want to accelerate that process, the distancing method with treatdropping can work pretty fast to help teach them you are not always the aggressor, after them, and that they learn to self-approach.

Bigger dogs can have hands approach issues, too, though. With many rescues, it is because they have come to distrust human hands due to pain. That is why it is good to realize dogs can have some trust issues with humans since they see us or other humans do so many things they can't understand and yet have to depend on us for their very lives. So to understand that sometimes they have issues with us after they have experienced living with humans a while is to understand they sometimes feel truly torn when we approach them.

That's why when I see a dog running backward or not staying still when I approach him, I back off and let them see me in a different way for a couple of weeks, drops those treats at times of nearness and allow them to do all of the approaching over that time. It works to settle them down and teaches them that I am not the overpowering bugger they can sometimes see us as at certain times when we're reaching out to them for the bath, the toenail clipping, the grooming session, the vet trip, the heartworm pilling, the topknot tying, dressing, etc. The distancing method, treatdropping allows them to grow to want your touch, your hands, to need your touch and to come looking for it. It hurries teaching dogs I rescue or my own that the reaching of my hands toward them or my walking toward them is something they should always, always, always trust and want.

Something else you might do is to reach for your baby and don't pick her up, just give her a loving rub, a nice treat and walk off, to let her know your reaching hands don't always mean getting picked up and whisked off to who knows what. When she's sitting beside you, reach over as if to get her but just scratch her, give a little praise. It can work to teach your dog your hands are always to be trusted and never to be run from and they aren't always reaching for her to do something to her.

[FidoTheYorkie]

Maybe she doesn't like to be held?

The crested I have is very afraid of being held, he shiveres because he's afraid of hights poor thing, so he backs up and doesn't wanna let us hold him.

Grab her favorite treat and teach her to come to you when you call, if she comes she gets a treat, DON'T always hold her when she comes, only when you need to
It's not good to hold small dogs too much, only do it when you need to.

[concretegurl]

Princess does not like to be held at all.

If you come at her she runs-it's a game.

When I call her I start to walk away-only ways she will recall, it took a lot of work though.

[YorkieSpirit1]

thank you for the valuable information...I can't remember when it started...I think it started with her first bath...she hated it....shivering, scratching my arms trying to get out of the tub....and putting her coats and vests on her every day now thats its getting cold...I give her a treat and sit on the floor, and she lets me put her clothes on her...very valuable information..thank you very much and I will print this out...and study it and use it....my DH comes home from work, and she can't wait to sit in his lap...of course he doesn't do all the dirty work either...I do everything...she does lick me in the face when we're sleeping on the couch...so maybe your approach will work for me...thank you again! I love her so much..and am with her 24/7..

[concretegurl]

My dogs all take showers with the hand held shower attachment-if I have standing water they freak out, and unless totally under they get cold faster.

[Potter]

Pao and i just completed a positive based training class. Pao is 6 yrs old and I have had him since he was 3 months old and he still runs away from me when I try to pick him up or put a leash on him. In the classes, we were being taught that us moving toward and hovering down a dog and picking it up is naturally intimidating for the dog. What we were asked to do is to not go all full face forward to carry the dog because the dog will usually run away or back up before you could reach it so what you do is walk in a curve or sideways to get to your dog and try to make yourself smaller when you are near your dog to let her feel safer, crouch down, kneel or squat down. Try it. You'll be amazed.

[ilovejoel]

I think it's a little normal for them to run, like being so small its there instinct to run when something big is coming at them.
Joel is 10months and he still runs from me, I made the mistake of teaching him its fun to be chased, now its his favorite game,lol and he only comes if he knows I have something good, so I kinda screwed that up and now I dont know how to reverse it