Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeyP  Haha .... don't take it to heart
You answered your own question without realizing
You stated that you are the sole provider for her needs .... you feed her.(Loves That) Bath her (Probably Hates that) Groom her (Probably hates that too)
Dogs don't think to themselves .... hey this lady does EVERYTHING for me
They think Uh Oh there are those hands again that sometimes get me into trouble
Some dogs are more naturally skiddish
One of mine runs from me everytime as well ... unless I say You wanna Treat?
Then he comes with bells on
You need for your dog to make the connection where everytime you pick her up she gets something good out of it
So treats help ... Hugs and kisses? Mebbe but tailor it to what your dog likes and be aware that if you are doing something that your dog doesn't like soften the blow with some nice chicken or some squeaky toy time first
What also helps is when you call her especially if she is a pup still crouch down to call her and don't stretch out your hands ...... little dogs sometimes get frightened of this big person hunching over with these big hands trying to grab them |
JoeyP summed it up beautifully. Obviously there are some fears and trust issues going on with her but she's not playing some game with you - running and not letting you approach her, then barking at you if you want to walk away. She is not fully confident in you and she doesn't know how to overcome her worries currently. Soften your approach, be somewhat diffident for a time and mostly let her come to you - however long it might take. I would even sidle up to her slowly rather than approaching her directly for a time - anything over the next 2 weeks or so to help take away whatever fears your baby has associated with you & your approaches, etc. Some especially sensitive dogs take unpleasant things we have to do to them such as bathing, nail clipping, personally, especially if the owner/caregiver is a little scared or worried about the situation, a little lacking in confidence or worried how the dog is going to take it.
The coming back to you as you were on the ground in a non-threatening attitude yourself, when she had been bolting away, dragging the leash, is a well-known tact used by experienced handlers in this situation for the very reason that the nervous or scared dog will much more readily come to their handler/caregiver when the person is down on their level and not as "threatening" or overpowering as they can seem when they are panicked, scared & chasing them. What you did in getting down and using a different psychological tactic was brilliant under the circumstances and tells you that dog
will willingly approach and come to you under less worrisome, "threatening" circumstances and as somewhat of an equal.
So follow Joey's lead & advice & further, distance yourself from you dog for a bit, allowing a trusted grooming service to do the "bad" things for a time if you can and stay aloof from the dog, just dropping treats as she comes near, dropping one as you pass by her and otherwise arranging for good things to happen when you are near her but not forcing the issue. You want to give her some time to deal with whatever fears or unpleasant associations she has formed with you, causing the running from you. Give her some time to deal and heal. Change things up for a time. Just live and let live and don't force anything, approach & pick her up as little as possible and when you sit down, just place a few choice treats around your person, the chair, etc. But don't pick her up - just allow her to experience being near you and living in the same house without you calling her to you or really taking active interaction. Allow her to see you as completely nonthreatening, with hands not always reaching for her and over time, she should slowly begin to approach you and sniff you, nudge your hand and such. At these times for a while, I would stay somewhat distant emotionally with this type dog and allow her to "woo" you, with only an occasional hand on her tummy in a little tickle, a rubbing her side, nothing more. I wouldn't actively approach or reach for her until she was being quite a bit more forward and really "asking" for attention. I'd withhold active reaction until I saw a bit of a wiggle in her behind during her interactions in trying to get your reaction, interactions. Remember, she's associated you with something unpleasant, causing this current situation, so you want to remember not to be too dynamic in your responses to her eventual approaches for fear of bestirring the old worries & concerns - so go slowly for a while.
A couple of weeks of theses type things might just do the trick in reshaping her attitudes that have formed into what they are toward you right now and for what unknown reasons. It will break the current patterns and give her time to form some new ways of seeing you.
Just try it and see if allowing her to take the lead and becoming merely a fairly aloof living companion who feeds, waters and does the minimum won't start to calm her a bit. Plus, the treatdropping when you walk by or she approaches, won't hurt whatever fears she's dealing with internally but should remove you as something that adds to them. And don't forget placing boiled chicken or turkey hot dog bits around yourself as you sit & ignore her will make your person highly attractive to her basic food instinct as she begins to deal with her unknown fears and learns you are really nice and nuanced and sensitive enough to allow her to workout some things without pressing her. In time, this should buy you some trust credits and then, once trust exists, love can blossom and grow unhindered.
Since our dogs can't talk out their fears and worries, all we can do is try to guess what is wrong and change things to help them work through and deal with problems they have with us. With a dog currently running from me and then barking for attention, you realize this isn't a game to her, not at all, it's her asking for help the only way she can by showing you she's afraid of something about you but still wants a relationship and wanting your help in getting through her fears.
Once she's comfortable with you again, start a good positive-reward and fun obedience program for her. Teaching dogs to do the things we say and then them getting lots of positive reinforcement, treats and praise and love form us in return just works wonders forming beautiful bonds with our dogs. It shows us how smart they are and fills them with a sense of responsibility and gives them some work to do. It's a win-win situation in building a good relationship with a dog companion.