I LOST it today on Maxi. Ashamed and needing Help.

[stingray2042]

I hope I'm posting right...I'm still new at this...

I think that you are very honest and open and I do respect that. To recognize what you did was wrong and then to seek help/advice took a lot of courage. I just wanted you to know that my 4-month old Lola had been doing really great with the housetraining but in the past 2 days she has been having more frequent accidents. So I understand how frustrating it is.

Have patience with Maxi. You can try wearing a rubberband around your wrist…and when you see Maxi having an accident…snap the band on your wrist…a reminder to have PATIENCE… I do this when I MUST remember something and it always works for me…old age starting to creep up.

And…just last night, I took out the AKC new puppy handbook and it advises the following below (all breeds in general). Sorry if this should be posted in a different forum...I'm still trying to learn YT Forum etiquette/rules.

8 – 12 Weeks: Take your puppy out very frequently. Not until about 12 weeks, as your puppy gets better control of his bladder and bowel movements, can more focused housetraining begin. Right now, be sure to take your puppy out very frequently---after every time he eats drinks or awakens: after he has a bout of activity; and at least every hour ors o in between. While you’re not with him, provide him with a safe confined space that includes a place for him to sleep and a separate toilet area” where he can relive himself.

12-16 Weeks: Housetraining can begin in earnest. Take your puppy out frequently and praise him lavishly every time he eliminates outside. Don’t get lazy and let your puppy roam the house unsupervised. “Accidents’ are not a puppy’s purposeful misbehavior; they’re an indication that you’re not keeping tabs on hi. The goal is to get him to go outside before an accident occurs. If you catch him in the act, calmly hustle him outside, and then praise him if he finishes there. IF an accident occurs while you’re not looking, don’t punish hi. He won’t understand, and it will damage your relationship. Frequent outings persistence and watchfulness and lots of praise are the keys to quicker housetraining. Although your puppy is rambunctious and easily distracted right now, don’t get tough in training him. He’s still sensitive emotionally and psychologically. ****Fears can occur easily and inhibit learning. To nurture the bond with your pup, try hand-feeding him. Feed kibble to him bit by bit. Play a game; call his name, back away, then give him food when he comes to you. ****

4-6 Months: HOUSETRAINING MAY DETERIORATE OVER TIME, especially if you start taking it for granted. Remember the times when your pup especially likely to have to “go”---after eating, drinking, or playing, and upon awakening.

[YorkyKids]

Originally Posted by Ponyup

I understand how you feel. At the end of the first week of having Logan I freaked out. I took him outside to potty and he wouldn't and he just wanted to bite my feet and it hurt. I got so upset I couldn't take it anymore I picked him up and gave him to my husband and told him to take him away from me and then I sat on the floor of our porch and cried. I cry when I'm frustrated instead of hit. I almost gave my baby back to breeder that night, but I slept on it and the next morning everything was okay. I can't tell you what happened cause I don't know. HIs behavior didn't change, but my reaction did. I think the biggest trainer is praise. This is how I trained Logan and he's pretty much potty trained at 6 months, but he hangs in his playpen when we're not home. I would take him out to potty about every hour and when he would potty outside I would have a freakin party and then he would get a treat before we came back in. If I saw him going on the carpet I would say 'no' and clap my hands so he'd stop going and then carry him right outside. when he was about 4 months old he started going to the door we take him out of and peeing in front of it. I did not punish him for this because I figured he was trying and just couldn't hold it, but he didn't get a treat either. Even though he's pretty trained now I still praise him when he goes out side now I just say "that's a good boy way to go potty outside" I would restrict his area especially while you're not home, my logan is still only allowed in the living room kitchen and his room and if you feel yourself losing it have someone else remove him from your site or put him in his crate til you calm down and then forget it. I know how you must feel my mom was always able to train big dogs in like two weeks so you may feel you are doing something wrong, you're not except maybe giving him too much freedom (i don't let logan sleep with me either) just be patience and through him praise parties when he does something good and one day it will just click with him. It really is amazing you think they'll never get and then all of sudden they do and you're so proud and they'll be so happy you're happy it's a wonderful thing, but don't expect miracles.

Ponyup.....this is a wonderful post! As soon as you rid yourself of your human expections......the training progressed nicely. Bravo for you.

I want to say....I think the biggest obstacle to training a toy dog is his owner. By that I mean....we spend the first months happily loving this creature.....we may overlook the faults of a very tiny pee spot or poo spots on the carpet. But let me tell you if he were a Great Dane or St. Barnard puppy....there would be only ONE mistake in the house.....the alarms would be going off like crazy! LOL
We tend to overlook the small stuff (pun intended) until one day we look around and we have an adult toy dog......who has really terrible house manners...and that's when the fustration really sets in....that's when many people decide they just can't handle it any more....they may give the dog away or put him in a shelter. Or worst bannish him to the back yard! We know this is true by listening to the rescuers.....we have heard this excuse over and over. Now that's the reason for my comment of find him another home now! 1) it brings to the forefront immediately the possibility that not everyone is cut out to own a puppy. 2) it may make the owner even more aware of the importance of and the stress of potty training. Proper potty training is a dog's insurance that he/she will have a happy home forever!
I meant no harm.....hey folks I was only trying to help.
d

[Honeychile]

Thanks for the replies. Wow... there really are different ways to raise a puppy. I appreciate the variety of viewpoints and suggestions given here. One common theme amongst all responses is the unconditional love and patience required for our babies. I get that.

I have much love and much patience within me to offer my Maxi. I had a momentary lapse and resorted to hitting my baby out of frustration - to which I regret. I plan to grow from it and no, I will not beat myself up about it anymore. That was yesterday. It's a new day.

Most of the basic suggestions given, I already put into practice. The praise, the rewards... the downplay of his pee and poo on the carpet, puppy proofing, watching him, feeding him and expecting elimination 20 mins. later... Also, for the record... he only has free run of the house when I, my husband or son are home. And he is CONSTANTLY WATCHED. We have altered our lives -- for him. My son comes home between classes to give him his meds and let him out of the crate and we go home promptly after work and don't make plans without factoring Maxi in. Actually, at home, he prefers to be wherever I am... and is always underfoot. He just started this new thing of sneaking off to the kitchen. He is lavished with attention by all family members. He has toys galore... and yes, he does chew my furniture, my magazines, my desk, anything he can get his teeth on. It doesn't bother me at all. For HIS safetly, we tell him "No Bite!" -- we remove the items and we replace them with his toys and tell him "Good Toy!" or "Good Boy" whenever he plays with his toys. Maxi is very loved and very cared for. In the matter of my "losing it" on him about peeing on my bed... (someone here nailed it) -- my expectations were way too high!

Actually, Maxi was paper trained by the very first week he came home with us... and has since been declining. I also took the time to get him to open up. I think the seller (Ivan) had not socialized him and kept him in the crate for too long because he would cower anytime anyone came near him. He has done a 180 on this regard and he is one of the PACK (our pack)!!! He loves his life!!

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR SHARING your housebreak stories because it has helped me to realize what to expect. If I know what to expect... I can be better prepared to deal. For example... since yesterday's incident... Maxi peed on the carpet twice and he peed on the bed again last night. I silently cleaned it up, as USUAL. Understanding that this is going to happen... I have resolved to be patient and have also resolved that I am willing to deal with it because he is worth it.

This morning, I tried a different strategy that I read about. I tossed my laundry all over my apartment floor in the spaces he usually pees. I read that this basically marks the territory as "mine" and he will not go there. You don't need to do this forever... just until he gets in the habit of using the paper. I chose clothes that I wouldn't mind too much if they were soiled. Well, he peed on the paper this morning! Coincidence? Who knows... lol. Minutes later.. he found a nice clean spot (under my desk chair) and made poop. lol. 1 step forward... 2 steps back! Oh well! I am learning to lighten up because there is nothing worse than the image of my Maxi cowering and fearful.

I think it's going to take some serious work to repair the damage I have done because I still see fear in his eyes at certain random moments.

As to the suggestion to get a play pen -- I think it's too late for that. Maximus would JUST DIE if we kept him in a pen!!! Unless... the suggestion is to do this when we're not home (instead of the crate)... this I would consider.

It's important to note that my apartment is VERY SMALL (NYC)... VERY SMALL... and WHEN WE'RE HOME... we close all room doors (2 bedrooms and bathroom)... so he basically has the run of the living room (that's his room... where his crate, food and wee pad are), the foyer and the kitchen. Most of you probably have laundry rooms larger than my living space.

*Also, when no one is home he is put in his crate! He does not roam the house unattended... and our home IS puppy proofed! We're constantly puppy proofing as we discover the new things he likes to explore!

I think he likes to go in the kitchen because it's the only space in the house with tile (and the bathroom). All else is carpeted. I'm actually planning on buying 4 tiles to place in a spot on top of the carpet so that he can lay on it when he wants.

As for the gate... thanks for the tip! Maxi does not wear a collar in the house... and I bought him a harness for when we go outdoors. However, we can't go out until he is better. I don't want him to pick up any viruses while he is not immunized... and he is 3 mos. 3 weeks for someone who asked. The only reason we don't have the gate as yet is because the cost of the weekly visits to the vet, his meds, and his supplies have set us back considerably... it's only been a month and I have already paid for my dog 3x's over. I have "Ivan" to thank for the exhorbitant vet expenses .

I also want to especially thank those that PM'd me with kindness, compassion and great advice. Hugs to those that defended me here on this thread. It helped take the sting out of some of the harsh responses. I do appreciate all the feedback however. Most of the harsh remarks were accompanied by good advice... so I will focus on that!

[Athina]

Originally Posted by YorkyKids

I hope I didn't offend Maxi's mom or anyone else.....I sure did not intend to offend her. I just felt the need to speak for the dog! That's all.
Maxi's mom....I know you are upset by what happened and I only hope my message helps you understand your puppy.....comming here to talk about it is probably the best thing (and bravest) you could have done......bravo for you Maxi's mom!!
d

Are you kidding me??? You hope you didn't offend Honeychile? Did you read your own post??? Yes there was some informative information in your post but you have to be kidding me when you said you didn't want to offend because you went straight for the throat. I disagree with her disiplining her Yorkie like that but I give her a BIG for having the courage to put it out there and ask for some help because a lot of people don't have the courage of doing this because their afraid of people like you who will tear their heads off. She clearly sounds like a really nice, loving, good person and she made a one time mistake out of anger and she is LEARNING from it. You can tell in her post how terrible she feels and clearly from her coming out with it on YT she shows how much she cares for her little furbabie. Yes hitting ANY animal at ANY age like that is dead wrong but you could have given her the same advice but not so negatively.

[YorkyKids]

Originally Posted by Athina

Are you kidding me??? You hope you didn't offend Honeychile? Did you read your own post??? Yes there was some informative information in your post but you have to be kidding me when you said you didn't want to offend because you went straight for the throat. I disagree with her disiplining her Yorkie like that but I give her a BIG for having the courage to put it out there and ask for some help because a lot of people don't have the courage of doing this because their afraid of people like you who will tear their heads off. She clearly sounds like a really nice, loving, good person and she made a one time mistake out of anger and she is LEARNING from it. You can tell in her post how terrible she feels and clearly from her coming out with it on YT she shows how much she cares for her little furbabie. Yes hitting ANY animal at ANY age like that is dead wrong but you could have given her the same advice but not so negatively.

That's your opinion Athina.....and I guess the opinion of others....I don't think you are SEEING the situation as it really is.....in this thread or many other threads I see here. Ya'll don't want to hear the TRUTH...sometimes the truth is HARSH....as I been accused of being....I am NOT a harsh person....EXCEPT when an unkind action to an animal.

Now I understand WHY?? Why I see 20 views of a message to every ONE post actually posted......It's always the same.....10 posts.......200 or so views.....40 posts.......400 plus views....and 90% of the time....there is NO value in the limited posts I see. I guess most of you prefer to attack the messager rather that face the truth. So sorry about that.......I'm pretty well done with ALL of you.......I will now become a 'VIEWER only' along with thousands of others on this site......I KNOW this will make a lot of you HAPPY.....Ya'll have a nice day. It's not worth my time to see here and take abuse from anyone of YOU!
d

[Athina]

Originally Posted by YorkyKids

That's your opinion Athina.....and I guess the opinion of others....I don't think you are SEEING the situation as it really is.....in this thread or many other threads I see here. Ya'll don't want to hear the TRUTH...sometimes the truth is HARSH....as I been accused of being....I am NOT a harsh person....EXCEPT when an unkind action to an animal.

Now I understand WHY?? Why I see 20 views of a message to every ONE post actually posted......It's always the same.....10 posts.......200 or so views.....40 posts.......400 plus views....and 90% of the time....there is NO value in the limited posts I see. I guess most of you prefer to attack the messager rather that face the truth. So sorry about that.......I'm pretty well done with ALL of you.......I will now become a 'VIEWER only' along with thousands of others on this site......I KNOW this will make a lot of you HAPPY.....Ya'll have a nice day. It's not worth my time to see here and take abuse from anyone of YOU!
d

See this is what i don't get, people like you who can GIVE harsh critisisum but you CAN'T take it. If you can dish it out pretty good then you better be able to take it. I didn't see Honeychile saying she was going to leave the site or only become a "Viewer" when she recieved your harsh critisisum. I don't think that's the way to go with you either because you did have some really good info in your posts just learn how to give it in a more positive way.

[chachi]

Originally Posted by YorkyKids

That's your opinion Athina.....and I guess the opinion of others....I don't think you are SEEING the situation as it really is.....in this thread or many other threads I see here. Ya'll don't want to hear the TRUTH...sometimes the truth is HARSH....as I been accused of being....I am NOT a harsh person....EXCEPT when an unkind action to an animal.

Now I understand WHY?? Why I see 20 views of a message to every ONE post actually posted......It's always the same.....10 posts.......200 or so views.....40 posts.......400 plus views....and 90% of the time....there is NO value in the limited posts I see. I guess most of you prefer to attack the messager rather that face the truth. So sorry about that.......I'm pretty well done with ALL of you.......I will now become a 'VIEWER only' along with thousands of others on this site......I KNOW this will make a lot of you HAPPY.....Ya'll have a nice day. It's not worth my time to see here and take abuse from anyone of YOU!
d

Dont quit posting. I didnt think your post was that harsh. I think this post just caught everyone off guard. you gave great advice as you always do. I enjoy reading your posts.

[Bentley&BitsysMom]

Originally Posted by Honeychile

Thanks for the replies. Wow... there really are different ways to raise a puppy. I appreciate the variety of viewpoints and suggestions given here. One common theme amongst all responses is the unconditional love and patience required for our babies. I get that.
............I also want to especially thank those that PM'd me with kindness, compassion and great advice. Hugs to those that defended me here on this thread. It helped take the sting out of some of the harsh responses. I do appreciate all the feedback however. Most of the harsh remarks were accompanied by good advice... so I will focus on that!

Hang in there!!! You will get the hang of what works for you and so will your little puppy I commend you also on your honesty and class! Looking forward to hearing more from you and about your baby!!

[ReesesMom]

Originally Posted by Athina

See this is what i don't get, people like you who can GIVE harsh critisisum but you CAN'T take it. If you can dish it out pretty good then you better be able to take it. I didn't see Honeychile saying she was going to leave the site or only become a "Viewer" when she recieved your harsh critisisum. I don't think that's the way to go with you either because you did have some really good info in your posts just learn how to give it in a more positive way.

I think everyone needs to get off of D's back because of her post. The fact is that a helpless animal was abused(how little or big you want to make it) and D only voiced her opinion. I think the wording of the original post stirred up alot of feelings for everyone...and I quote.."I yelled NO! and spanked his bottom several times. Hard. He yelped., no, he screamed BLOODY MURDER. He was DEVASTATED!"

Had she said that she swatted him once....then she would have got her tsk, tsk. The way she worded it seemed like she hit the poor puppy pretty hard. Granted she is sorry for what she has done, she would not have posted it if she did not want these opinions. It would be a different story if you brought your pup to her house, and it had an accident, and she hit it. YorkyKids was just reacting the way she knows how and I don't think that ANYONE's opinions should be scrutinized.

Honeychile posted because she wanted a response to what she had done....not because she wanted to get reponses about others responses....

YorkyKids please don't stop posting....I just joined and you have helped me tremendously already!

[Shanatink]

I just want to apologize if I started anything. Yorkykids, I know you just have Maxi's best interest in mind. This forum is all about opinions and I should have not been hard on you for yours. I just feel like alot of times when people ask for help on here sometimes we get all focused on a different issue or we yell at them, or belittle them instead of actually trying to give them help. Ive just seen it happen several times. This situation is not quite the same, but still I feel like we needed to help Honeychile and not yell at her. I think I just took your post the wrong way and it made me really upset yesterday. I know you didnt mean it rudely. Sorry if I offended you.

[Bentley&BitsysMom]

This is one of the things I love about this site....that was very nice of you Shana!!! Everyone for the most part has the kindest heart and intentions...were people and we make mistakes, every single one of us....and it's so nice to see the care and forgivness that takes place here!

[wd6474]

i am so disappointed at the way we treat each other..its really sad...we all have soo much love for dogs but cant respect adults with diffrent opinions... i have no comment on what she did..she knows she was wrong..i would love to see a post where people are corrected for bad behavior in a nice humane way... i dont think anyone here is bad...but i do think some people are treating diff..maybe that's a clique thing..dunno

p.s. there was a post a while back where sombody's dogs ran out the door and had to be chased down the street by her and her husband and when she caught him she said ..yes i did it ..i beat his little butt...everyone who replied gave her soo much empathy and assured her she did nothing wrong..i read how some of you understood and told her it would get better....nothing like this ..why???? because shes a yorkietalk veteran and not a newbie like most of us..that not right...shame, shame ,shame...we should all get the same kind of support from each other..even if we dont know each other...im logging off ladies...have a good night

[admin]

We appreciate your honesty and your sincerity, but we in no way condone hitting any animals here at YorkieTalk. Please be patient in your traning, remember, human babies can take years to potty train!