I LOST it today on Maxi. Ashamed and needing Help. - Page 3 - YorkieTalk.com Forums

crystalsmom · 11-30-2005, 05:00 AM

As far as the statement " roll up a newspaper and hit yourself seven or eight times on
the head" it is something that is in almost every dog training book to point out to the
person training the dog, it's you it's not the dog. I know when I trained my two
yorkies it was ME they had to train and then I could go from there. I think this is a
wonderful forum because we try to point out as much as we can. I hope the one's
of you that said you were frustrated would not have hit a puppy so hard that it would
YELP?? Some people do not have the patience for this and remember there will be a
day when this little guy will chew the furniture or tear the stuffing out of the sofa. Those of you that know me well, know I am always for the dog first and not the
people................so be it!!

diva pup · 11-30-2005, 05:20 AM

Joan, I could not agree with you more!

YorkieRose · 11-30-2005, 05:32 AM

A member mentioned a gate was dangerous with collars. Collars are the dangerous thing. Never leave a Yorkie or any small dog alone at home with a collar on.
As a breeder, you can not believe how many people lost my pups to collar accidents. I always stressed and stressed the dangers.
One simply got hers caught in the end of a bed spread and must have panicked. Owner came home to find it twisted tightly around her neck and she was dead..

MomofOtis · 11-30-2005, 05:37 AM

I have been debating with myself about posting another reply to this thread.....I'm not sure who won this debate, but here I am

!

I love this forum because in my heart I know that the people on yorkietalk have a true love and respect for their yorkies - not only as a breed, but as a member of their family. I know that when people respond to a thread their desire is to help, support, and educate each other... not to mention provide each other with lots of giggles and smiles over our yorkies

.

That being said, I think that in our zeal to help one another we may come across as being a bit harsh. I read through the responses several times wondering what Maxi's mom would be thinking. I re-read what she wrote, and I feel like she was penatant and willing to put herself out there in order to learn something. Suggesting that maybe she shouldn't own a yorkie or should find a new home for her yorkie seems a hard sentence for a first time offender who is obviously humble enough to come here for help. Animal behavior is important to understand too, and I think all the posts with suggestions were good... but isn't there a nicer way to put it ?? I can see if Maxi's mom had posted something like this... "Well, I beat my dog up again today -- stupid dog, sometimes I wonder why I even got a yorkie. Can someone tell me how to make this animal do what I say ??" ...that we might all jump all over her

! Read her post again....She knows she deserves a tsk tsk and some good help -- but I'm not so sure she she deserved some of the verbal slaps.

Anyway - I just hope that she feels comfortable to continue to share her frustrations and triumphs with us all

Now I guess I'd better get ready for work....I'm off to spend my day with 8th and 9th graders.... if you want to talk about needing some patience.....

ehunney · 11-30-2005, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MomofOtis

I have been debating with myself about posting another reply to this thread.....I'm not sure who won this debate, but here I am

!

I love this forum because in my heart I know that the people on yorkietalk have a true love and respect for their yorkies - not only as a breed, but as a member of their family. I know that when people respond to a thread their desire is to help, support, and educate each other... not to mention provide each other with lots of giggles and smiles over our yorkies

.

That being said, I think that in our zeal to help one another we may come across as being a bit harsh. I read through the responses several times wondering what Maxi's mom would be thinking. I re-read what she wrote, and I feel like she was penatant and willing to put herself out there in order to learn something. Suggesting that maybe she shouldn't own a yorkie or should find a new home for her yorkie seems a hard sentence for a first time offender who is obviously humble enough to come here for help. Animal behavior is important to understand too, and I think all the posts with suggestions were good... but isn't there a nicer way to put it ?? I can see if Maxi's mom had posted something like this... "Well, I beat my dog up again today -- stupid dog, sometimes I wonder why I even got a yorkie. Can someone tell me how to make this animal do what I say ??" ...that we might all jump all over her

! Read her post again....She knows she deserves a tsk tsk and some good help -- but I'm not so sure she she deserved some of the verbal slaps.

Anyway - I just hope that she feels comfortable to continue to share her frustrations and triumphs with us all

Now I guess I'd better get ready for work....I'm off to spend my day with 8th and 9th graders.... if you want to talk about needing some patience.....

I couldn't agree with you more. I think while it needs to be STRESSED, that you should never hit your baby, the fact that she's asking for help is a good,and she and her baby need help understanding each other. But we could all be nicer about saying it. We aren't here to judge or chastize each other, just help.

Bentley&BitsysMom · 11-30-2005, 06:03 AM

Here is my personal opinion and experience

We have a VERY relaxed attitude with our dogs on just about everything..even the potty training. Bentley was our first Yorkie and he is getting ready to turn two years old. We don't make any big efforts at all....we just know they will eventually get it and don't stress over it or cause the dog any stress over it. Having one...or four like we have, it's just a given at any age, for the most part, there is going to be an accident here and there. With the pups who are now eight months old, we pee pee pad trained them very early....but they still had accidents, as do our older two if they are left alone for a few hours or it's raining outside. We just had our carpets cleaned and are using the belly bands which are great for the puppies andit has deminished the marking of the boys a LOT!!! Our local newspaper did a big article on dogs and said that a dog, especially small ones, are not able to control their bladder until six months of age. I think the expectation for young puppies are just way too high....which is another reason I think this site is so great...it puts you in touch with reality for those who are new to owning a pup. I guess my point is that we don't make any big effort on the potty training in our home and our dogs have done and are doing as well or better than lots that go to a bunch of trouble and worry and stress over it. Our dogs are not any smarter than anybody elses....the potty training is just a process that takes time and patience...period. There is lots of great advice on this thread and my only suggestion to add is unload yourself and lighten up from the worry and stress over it, for your sake and your dogs, buy some belly bands, and just prepare to have your carpet cleaned a few extra times this year. It's really not that big a deal

Hope I didn't offend anyone....this is just my opinion....which I normally keep to myself

diva pup · 11-30-2005, 06:16 AM

While I appreciate that the woman was sorry for what happened it does not make it go away. 15 yrs ago when I had small children living at home and a full time job I can honestly say I would not have been blessed with the patience I have now.
What concerned me the most is this puppy is YOUNG, what is going to happen down the road if these little things are getting on her nerves now? These are very minor issues compared to some of the little things these dogs can get in their heads to do.

I have one who is insistent on barking at me if he wants something, he is not a yapper just vocal about getting what he wants. It can be NERVE WRACKING if it is impossible or I just cant figure it out. Would I smack him because of it? Absolutly NOT. Would he shut up if I did? Probably, but he would be devastated, the thought of that alone makes me sick.
So if in my zeal I was abrasive I am sorry, but I just can't get past how the puppy must have felt when the person he loved and trusted hurt him.

red98vett · 11-30-2005, 06:31 AM

I understand your feelings - my first thought was outrage too....a yorkie can easily be killed by being hit.... and that really bothered me alot too....

BUT.....she IS asking for help and we have to try to help people even if it means clamping down on our feelings for a minute - I think we CAN help someone cope if they know they aren't alone in training issues.

the main focus is the puppy..... and while we can't change people - we CAN educate her on how to control her actions and try new ways to help her puppy train....

crystalsmom · 11-30-2005, 06:41 AM

Sorry, but I'm not sorry; I think she needs to look at all points of view.

red98vett · 11-30-2005, 06:46 AM

I don't think anyone needs to be sorry - When someone asks for help and opinions - they should be ready for them....negative or positive ...and we can only hope we are helping - there are some good posts in this thread

and I don't think anyone was too harsh ...I actually agreed with them....

we all say things differently so she has lots to read...and I think she will be able to tell that the focus is the well being of her puppy no matter what gets said

Lexi Rae · 11-30-2005, 06:49 AM

villette you said it girl... if help is needed, lets help....

FirstYorkie · 11-30-2005, 06:54 AM

HONEYCHILE -

I PM'ed you - hope you got it!

JCarlson2004 · 11-30-2005, 06:57 AM

I'm glad you were brave enough to admit your mistake and then seek out help. It takes a strong person to do that.

In the future, PLEASE never hit or yell at your baby again. I'm not going to explain why because it was already expained a lot in this thread. I just want to share my experience with training my 2 dogs (one of whom I sadly lost 2 weeks ago and I'm devestated without her).

My Maltese, Codie, was trained after being in my home 1 month!! He was a BREEZE to train. But the angel that I lost, my Yorkie princess, Katie, was VERY VERY VERY hard to potty train. I NEVER spanked or yelled at her once. But I was extremely frustrated with her and almost gave up hope. But then I realized the person who really needed the training was ME -- not Katie. I spoke to Ivan (the person I purchased my princess from) and he explained to me that with time, love, patience and CONSISTENCY she would eventually train herself. He told me to change MY ways because Katie could sense my frustration and that would never help her become trained. Well, after heeding his advice, my Katie was FINALLY potty trained around 10 months old!! I was so shocked because a lot of Yorkies take 1 or 2 years to be fully trained -- or some may never be trained in their entire life.

So please try to remain positive and remember that your baby has a tiny tiny tiny bladder and really doesn't know any better. Good luck and always feel free to come here for advice. We have some really great and informative members who can help you a lot.

Ponyup · 11-30-2005, 07:22 AM

I understand how you feel. At the end of the first week of having Logan I freaked out. I took him outside to potty and he wouldn't and he just wanted to bite my feet and it hurt. I got so upset I couldn't take it anymore I picked him up and gave him to my husband and told him to take him away from me and then I sat on the floor of our porch and cried. I cry when I'm frustrated instead of hit. I almost gave my baby back to breeder that night, but I slept on it and the next morning everything was okay. I can't tell you what happened cause I don't know. HIs behavior didn't change, but my reaction did. I think the biggest trainer is praise. This is how I trained Logan and he's pretty much potty trained at 6 months, but he hangs in his playpen when we're not home. I would take him out to potty about every hour and when he would potty outside I would have a freakin party and then he would get a treat before we came back in. If I saw him going on the carpet I would say 'no' and clap my hands so he'd stop going and then carry him right outside. when he was about 4 months old he started going to the door we take him out of and peeing in front of it. I did not punish him for this because I figured he was trying and just couldn't hold it, but he didn't get a treat either. Even though he's pretty trained now I still praise him when he goes out side now I just say "that's a good boy way to go potty outside" I would restrict his area especially while you're not home, my logan is still only allowed in the living room kitchen and his room and if you feel yourself losing it have someone else remove him from your site or put him in his crate til you calm down and then forget it. I know how you must feel my mom was always able to train big dogs in like two weeks so you may feel you are doing something wrong, you're not except maybe giving him too much freedom (i don't let logan sleep with me either) just be patience and through him praise parties when he does something good and one day it will just click with him. It really is amazing you think they'll never get and then all of sudden they do and you're so proud and they'll be so happy you're happy it's a wonderful thing, but don't expect miracles.

ritaman1 · 11-30-2005, 07:48 AM

I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old and I will tell you that potty training is only the beginning of testing your nerves. When my 3 year old was sick I woke up to diaherra all over the house including my bed. These are just the few things that you have to deal with when you own one of these little ones. I will tell you just be patient and by no means hit the dog because that will only make matters worse. Welcome to the world of yorkies

11-30-2005, 05:00 AM	#31
crystalsmom Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,946	As far as the statement " roll up a newspaper and hit yourself seven or eight times on the head" it is something that is in almost every dog training book to point out to the person training the dog, it's you it's not the dog. I know when I trained my two yorkies it was ME they had to train and then I could go from there. I think this is a wonderful forum because we try to point out as much as we can. I hope the one's of you that said you were frustrated would not have hit a puppy so hard that it would YELP?? Some people do not have the patience for this and remember there will be a day when this little guy will chew the furniture or tear the stuffing out of the sofa. Those of you that know me well, know I am always for the dog first and not the people................so be it!! __________________

11-30-2005, 05:32 AM	#33
YorkieRose No Longer a Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: South Florida Posts: 8,577	colllars A member mentioned a gate was dangerous with collars. Collars are the dangerous thing. Never leave a Yorkie or any small dog alone at home with a collar on. As a breeder, you can not believe how many people lost my pups to collar accidents. I always stressed and stressed the dangers. One simply got hers caught in the end of a bed spread and must have panicked. Owner came home to find it twisted tightly around her neck and she was dead..

11-30-2005, 06:03 AM	#36
Bentley&BitsysMom Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Charlotte Posts: 2,836	Here is my personal opinion and experience We have a VERY relaxed attitude with our dogs on just about everything..even the potty training. Bentley was our first Yorkie and he is getting ready to turn two years old. We don't make any big efforts at all....we just know they will eventually get it and don't stress over it or cause the dog any stress over it. Having one...or four like we have, it's just a given at any age, for the most part, there is going to be an accident here and there. With the pups who are now eight months old, we pee pee pad trained them very early....but they still had accidents, as do our older two if they are left alone for a few hours or it's raining outside. We just had our carpets cleaned and are using the belly bands which are great for the puppies andit has deminished the marking of the boys a LOT!!! Our local newspaper did a big article on dogs and said that a dog, especially small ones, are not able to control their bladder until six months of age. I think the expectation for young puppies are just way too high....which is another reason I think this site is so great...it puts you in touch with reality for those who are new to owning a pup. I guess my point is that we don't make any big effort on the potty training in our home and our dogs have done and are doing as well or better than lots that go to a bunch of trouble and worry and stress over it. Our dogs are not any smarter than anybody elses....the potty training is just a process that takes time and patience...period. There is lots of great advice on this thread and my only suggestion to add is unload yourself and lighten up from the worry and stress over it, for your sake and your dogs, buy some belly bands, and just prepare to have your carpet cleaned a few extra times this year. It's really not that big a deal Hope I didn't offend anyone....this is just my opinion....which I normally keep to myself __________________ Michelle BENTLEY, BITSY, CHARLIE, & BAILEY'S Mommy Dogster Pagehttp://www.dogster.com/?145000

11-30-2005, 06:31 AM	#38
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	I understand your feelings - my first thought was outrage too....a yorkie can easily be killed by being hit.... and that really bothered me alot too.... BUT.....she IS asking for help and we have to try to help people even if it means clamping down on our feelings for a minute - I think we CAN help someone cope if they know they aren't alone in training issues. the main focus is the puppy..... and while we can't change people - we CAN educate her on how to control her actions and try new ways to help her puppy train.... __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE! Last edited by red98vett; 11-30-2005 at 06:33 AM.

11-30-2005, 06:41 AM	#39
crystalsmom Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Ohio Posts: 7,946	Sorry, but I'm not sorry; I think she needs to look at all points of view. __________________

11-30-2005, 05:20 AM	#32
diva pup BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,139	Joan, I could not agree with you more!

11-30-2005, 05:37 AM	#34
MomofOtis Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Utah Posts: 87	I have been debating with myself about posting another reply to this thread.....I'm not sure who won this debate, but here I am ! I love this forum because in my heart I know that the people on yorkietalk have a true love and respect for their yorkies - not only as a breed, but as a member of their family. I know that when people respond to a thread their desire is to help, support, and educate each other... not to mention provide each other with lots of giggles and smiles over our yorkies . That being said, I think that in our zeal to help one another we may come across as being a bit harsh. I read through the responses several times wondering what Maxi's mom would be thinking. I re-read what she wrote, and I feel like she was penatant and willing to put herself out there in order to learn something. Suggesting that maybe she shouldn't own a yorkie or should find a new home for her yorkie seems a hard sentence for a first time offender who is obviously humble enough to come here for help. Animal behavior is important to understand too, and I think all the posts with suggestions were good... but isn't there a nicer way to put it ?? I can see if Maxi's mom had posted something like this... "Well, I beat my dog up again today -- stupid dog, sometimes I wonder why I even got a yorkie. Can someone tell me how to make this animal do what I say ??" ...that we might all jump all over her ! Read her post again....She knows she deserves a tsk tsk and some good help -- but I'm not so sure she she deserved some of the verbal slaps. Anyway - I just hope that she feels comfortable to continue to share her frustrations and triumphs with us all Now I guess I'd better get ready for work....I'm off to spend my day with 8th and 9th graders.... if you want to talk about needing some patience.....

11-30-2005, 06:16 AM	#37
diva pup BANNED! Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,139	While I appreciate that the woman was sorry for what happened it does not make it go away. 15 yrs ago when I had small children living at home and a full time job I can honestly say I would not have been blessed with the patience I have now. What concerned me the most is this puppy is YOUNG, what is going to happen down the road if these little things are getting on her nerves now? These are very minor issues compared to some of the little things these dogs can get in their heads to do. I have one who is insistent on barking at me if he wants something, he is not a yapper just vocal about getting what he wants. It can be NERVE WRACKING if it is impossible or I just cant figure it out. Would I smack him because of it? Absolutly NOT. Would he shut up if I did? Probably, but he would be devastated, the thought of that alone makes me sick. So if in my zeal I was abrasive I am sorry, but I just can't get past how the puppy must have felt when the person he loved and trusted hurt him.

11-30-2005, 06:46 AM	#40
red98vett Yorkie Kisses are the Best! Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Houston TX Posts: 33,590 Blog Entries: 1	I don't think anyone needs to be sorry - When someone asks for help and opinions - they should be ready for them....negative or positive ...and we can only hope we are helping - there are some good posts in this thread and I don't think anyone was too harsh ...I actually agreed with them.... we all say things differently so she has lots to read...and I think she will be able to tell that the focus is the well being of her puppy no matter what gets said __________________ Villette, Chanel & Cheri www.DesignsByVillette.net Custom Address Labels and Note Cards using YOUR Photos! Just Click HERE!

11-30-2005, 06:49 AM	#41
Lexi Rae Gina, (Lexi's Mommy) Donating Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: LONG ISLAND,NY Posts: 10,455	villette you said it girl... if help is needed, lets help.... __________________ Gina & Lexi CLICK HERE for our Photo Album ...

11-30-2005, 06:54 AM	#42
FirstYorkie YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: American in London Posts: 1,739	HONEYCHILE - I PM'ed you - hope you got it!

11-30-2005, 06:57 AM	#43
JCarlson2004 Mommy To 3 Poochies Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: New York Posts: 8,287	I'm glad you were brave enough to admit your mistake and then seek out help. It takes a strong person to do that. In the future, PLEASE never hit or yell at your baby again. I'm not going to explain why because it was already expained a lot in this thread. I just want to share my experience with training my 2 dogs (one of whom I sadly lost 2 weeks ago and I'm devestated without her). My Maltese, Codie, was trained after being in my home 1 month!! He was a BREEZE to train. But the angel that I lost, my Yorkie princess, Katie, was VERY VERY VERY hard to potty train. I NEVER spanked or yelled at her once. But I was extremely frustrated with her and almost gave up hope. But then I realized the person who really needed the training was ME -- not Katie. I spoke to Ivan (the person I purchased my princess from) and he explained to me that with time, love, patience and CONSISTENCY she would eventually train herself. He told me to change MY ways because Katie could sense my frustration and that would never help her become trained. Well, after heeding his advice, my Katie was FINALLY potty trained around 10 months old!! I was so shocked because a lot of Yorkies take 1 or 2 years to be fully trained -- or some may never be trained in their entire life. So please try to remain positive and remember that your baby has a tiny tiny tiny bladder and really doesn't know any better. Good luck and always feel free to come here for advice. We have some really great and informative members who can help you a lot. __________________ Mommy Loves Codie, Tia & Baby Cali RIP My Precious Katie - I Love You

11-30-2005, 07:22 AM	#44
Ponyup YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Northern Indiana Posts: 1,252	I understand how you feel. At the end of the first week of having Logan I freaked out. I took him outside to potty and he wouldn't and he just wanted to bite my feet and it hurt. I got so upset I couldn't take it anymore I picked him up and gave him to my husband and told him to take him away from me and then I sat on the floor of our porch and cried. I cry when I'm frustrated instead of hit. I almost gave my baby back to breeder that night, but I slept on it and the next morning everything was okay. I can't tell you what happened cause I don't know. HIs behavior didn't change, but my reaction did. I think the biggest trainer is praise. This is how I trained Logan and he's pretty much potty trained at 6 months, but he hangs in his playpen when we're not home. I would take him out to potty about every hour and when he would potty outside I would have a freakin party and then he would get a treat before we came back in. If I saw him going on the carpet I would say 'no' and clap my hands so he'd stop going and then carry him right outside. when he was about 4 months old he started going to the door we take him out of and peeing in front of it. I did not punish him for this because I figured he was trying and just couldn't hold it, but he didn't get a treat either. Even though he's pretty trained now I still praise him when he goes out side now I just say "that's a good boy way to go potty outside" I would restrict his area especially while you're not home, my logan is still only allowed in the living room kitchen and his room and if you feel yourself losing it have someone else remove him from your site or put him in his crate til you calm down and then forget it. I know how you must feel my mom was always able to train big dogs in like two weeks so you may feel you are doing something wrong, you're not except maybe giving him too much freedom (i don't let logan sleep with me either) just be patience and through him praise parties when he does something good and one day it will just click with him. It really is amazing you think they'll never get and then all of sudden they do and you're so proud and they'll be so happy you're happy it's a wonderful thing, but don't expect miracles. __________________ Ponyup Mom to LOGAN

11-30-2005, 07:48 AM	#45
ritaman1 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Flushing, New York Posts: 34	I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old and I will tell you that potty training is only the beginning of testing your nerves. When my 3 year old was sick I woke up to diaherra all over the house including my bed. These are just the few things that you have to deal with when you own one of these little ones. I will tell you just be patient and by no means hit the dog because that will only make matters worse. Welcome to the world of yorkies