Yorkie is afraid and trembles when she sees me. What should I do?

[Madraga]

Thanks again. If I do the confining in 1 or 2 rooms at this point, will it be a bit too late? also, does that mean I have to stay with her all day in that same room or is it ok for me to leave her? let's say longer than an hour or something. I'll leave water crate and things for her to play with and just leave her there. Is that ok? I pity her too much so I end up giving in to what she wants. When she hears the doorbell and she's in my room, she immediately goes to the door and sniffs. So I let her out and go down with her. My parents think I'm already becoming her pet and not the other way around. But she does follow me.

I've also noticed something. Today I think i've made more progress coz she's been playing with me and giving me less of the "scared" look and the cowering. Then I took a shower, came out in the same PJs i was wearing when she slept in my room that night this happened. I dunno if it's the smell or the pjs but I wore a set of pjs during the barking and yelling incident, then i tried to console her and carried her and stuff so i had to change into a new set of pjs. when I carried her to sleep in my room, I wore the 2nd pjs till tonight. So right after i showered, she gave me that look again, and started to cower and hide again. So I changed into a new set. If it's the smell of the pjs then a little washing will correct this right? if it's my smell after the bath, then dammit, does this mean I'd have to change shampoo and soap?? hahaha. If it's the sight of the pjs, then all i need to do is buy a new set and wear that right?

I have sprayed DAP on myself right now and still waiting 15 minutes coz it says in the instruction to wait 15 minutes before exposure to the dog. I hope it works coz I don't want to buy a new set of pjs and changing soap and shampoo can be difficult too. I hope a little washing can change things. I think it's the after taking a shower thing that triggers all her bad memories of that night. Will that ever be corrected or is it a forever thing?

[Madraga]

Still didn't work. I wanted to stay at my brothers' room and have one of my brothers sleep in my room so she'll see me first thing and see that nothing happened when i was there and that i didn't yell at her or punish her for anything. but none of my brother's wanted to switch rooms. I was about to get her under the table when my brother accidentally dropped the remote on her, this freaked her out again so I had to carry her and comfort her. She was shaking while I was carrying her, I didn't know if it's coz it's "me" carrying her (wearing my pjs and just finished showering) or if it was my brother dropping the remote on her. She had to sleep with me tonight coz everyone is leaving early tomorrow and no one will be in my brothers' room in the morning before i woke up if she's there. She's hiding in her crate and i had to stick my hand in there and pet her but i think tomorrow I'll give her time and space before i ask or call her to come out.

And we were doing so well today... I was supposed to go up to get something so i asked 1 of my maids to call her and play with her while I go up. so they did, i left and she didn't see me.... but she followed me upstairs and left the maids. That for me was a progress that I had been waiting for. And she licked me a lot too... then tonight I had to impose again. she didn't pee when she jumped after being hit by the remote so I'm hoping that means it wasn't dog hysteria. It's never ending...so much happens in this house and she can never feel comfortable around everyone which is a problem. So everytime something that scares her happens, it's like she feels completely helpless if the people she trusts are not around and she's with the rest of the family. She'll never feel safe in our home if she's always like this.

[Madraga]

Originally Posted by star431

When I was a child we adopted a puppy from the pound. He was only 4 months and was abused and afraid of everyone and everything. When we brought him home he would run and hide, shake and bark. When he acted this way we gave him space. Not really ignoring him but let him go off to were he felt safe and just sat in the same area. Then when he would come out we still just waited. We would let him come to us, on his own time. When he did come over we did not try to pet him or raise our arms (if they are abused they may not your trying to show love, they may think you are going to hit them) we would just let him sniff us and around us. Talk to him in a soft gentle voice telling him he is a good boy. This went on for a long time. Slowly he would get more comfortable and we would pet him and give him treats. We had to earn his trust. He was always skidish around new people and anyone wearing a hat but after a long time he came around and become of the the best loving dogs anyone could ask for.

I recommend staying very calm when they start barking and shaking. Sensing that you are anxious may only make it worse. Good luck and I hope this helps.

I've been trying this technique but since we have 2 floors it's sort of difficult for me to just stay in the living room with her all the time. So what I do is if I go up and she doesn't follow, I leave her to it and don't bother her and just give her space downstairs. The maids do their thing downstairs and just ignore her too. It's depressing to watch her really coz it's like she wants the maids to just acknowledge her so she can go play with them but since everyone is ignoring her she can't play. And when I'm around it's like she doesn't dare go to them to play coz I'm around and i think she feels like I give her the go signal to either play or not play. I don't know if they're that smart but that's how it looks like to me.

I still let her sleep in my room though even though she doesn't want to follow me after I take a bath, coz no one will be able to watch over her if she's downstairs and it's hotter downstairs at night.

Is there something I should be doing differently? I try not to look at her even though i see her watching me. When I'm on the couch though, she'll sometimes jump on the couch and sleep right next to me. It's confusing. she's afraid but she sometimes sleeps next to me and follows me around.

[kjc]

When you come out of the shower, do you have your hair wrapped up in a towel? Or is it just wet?

Sounds like you are making great strides with her, and that she's beginning to accept you.

I think it might be best for you to follow as normal (for you) a routine as possible. Sleep in your own room, she'll learn that's where she can find you. If you change around it could confuse her. She will adapt to your ways.

Once the shower problem is figured out she should be fine. Just change one thing at a time in order to find what is setting her off. If more than one is changed you won't know what to avoid or work on with her. I would do whatever is easiest first, and maybe most obvious. Did you seen a difference with different PJ's? May have to try it 2 or 3 more times to be sure. Also, act normally, don't confront her to check for her reaction. This is something that she may get used to if you show her this is your normal behavior.

It can take months for a dog to really settle down and begin to trust the new people in their lives, and to find their place. And yes, they are very smart. I picked up my dog's bed to wash it. When he saw it was gone, he panicked. I think he thought I was getting rid of him, which had happened in his four previous homes. I carried him around until his bed was dry and put it back in his spot. He got right in it and settled down, I could see the calm come back over him.

[kjc]

No, it's not too late to confine her, and you don't have to stay with her the entire time. Set her up with water and toys and her crate in the 2 rooms she should be fine.

A word about pity.... you feel bad about her life before she met you. She's living in a new world now. You're giving her a great life... what's to pity at this time? You'll only confuse her more... be happy and enjoy her in the 'now'. I'm sure she wants to forget her past too!

Washing the PJ's may help, if they're the problem. Just do your normal routine, and try not to look at her when coming out of the shower. She will learn what is normal for you and that memory should fade with time. Or a light robe over the PJ's?

Shampoo... maybe get another brand and add it to your favorite... may change the smell enough.... if that's the problem. Remember only change one thing at a time.

[Madraga]

Originally Posted by kjc

No, it's not too late to confine her, and you don't have to stay with her the entire time. Set her up with water and toys and her crate in the 2 rooms she should be fine.

A word about pity.... you feel bad about her life before she met you. She's living in a new world now. You're giving her a great life... what's to pity at this time? You'll only confuse her more... be happy and enjoy her in the 'now'. I'm sure she wants to forget her past too!

Washing the PJ's may help, if they're the problem. Just do your normal routine, and try not to look at her when coming out of the shower. She will learn what is normal for you and that memory should fade with time. Or a light robe over the PJ's?

Shampoo... maybe get another brand and add it to your favorite... may change the smell enough.... if that's the problem. Remember only change one thing at a time.

Thanks again for the help. Our home has 2 floors, so when I confine her in 1 or 2 rooms, it would be my room and say my brother's room? So she'll eat in the 2 rooms? or am I allowed to bring her downstairs for mealtime? I think she found a spot downstairs when she's all alone, she stays by the stairs. I actually let her roam freely in the house, but when I'm around she follows me around. I close the door leading to the dirty kitchen where the maids room are so she's not tempted to stay there and she has gotten used to staying inside the house even if the door is open. She usually follows me everywhere in the daytime, it's during night time when I'm preparing to shower and when I get out of the shower and when it's bedtime that she starts acting up.

As for the PJs, i had them washed today and I've changed my shampoo, still didn't work. I think it may be my scent after the shower coz I went out today after I showered, so when she saw me after my shower, I was wearing different clothes but still the same reaction. I come out of the shower with my hair down. When I left, since my hair was still wet i let it down, but when I came home, my hair was already up so she was all excited. I turned off all the lights and came up, that's it she came up 2 steps then went down. I had to carry her up to my room for bedtime coz it was too hot downstairs. I think it may also be the bedtime thing. the fact that she knows I'm going to bed and she'd have to stay with me.

I also do my own thing after i shower, i come out and not bother her and do my own thing. I do call her though without looking at her so I guess I have to ignore her right after the shower and stuff.

[Madraga]

Oh, and another thing. She likes to dig and push things with her nose to cover what she's dug out. I noticed her doing this to her blankets and pillows, she was trying to hide this chicken flavored nylabone I got her. I dunno why she wants to hide it, is it coz she hates it? Coz I got her another toy when she first got here, it's a little stuffed thing from Petstages, and she plays with that. She chews on it. She likes to chew on door stoppers too but those are a bit dangerous coz she swallowed a small piece, so I got her a nylabone. She doesn't chew on it like she did with the doorstoppers. Also got her a kong, she also tries to hide that. So, what I did was put lots of blankets on this box so she can do her "digging" in there. So it's like her play pen. I put that thing everywhere, downstairs and in my room. She has a crate that she sleeps in, and I also bring that downstairs when she's there.

This time however, she prefers to sleep in the playpen and not in her crate. It's sort of close to my bed, but the crate is closer. So I'm thinking maybe she is really distancing herself from me when it comes to bedtime.

[star431]

Originally Posted by Madraga

Oh, and another thing. She likes to dig and push things with her nose to cover what she's dug out. I noticed her doing this to her blankets and pillows, she was trying to hide this chicken flavored nylabone I got her. I dunno why she wants to hide it, is it coz she hates it? Coz I got her another toy when she first got here, it's a little stuffed thing from Petstages, and she plays with that. She chews on it. She likes to chew on door stoppers too but those are a bit dangerous coz she swallowed a small piece, so I got her a nylabone. She doesn't chew on it like she did with the doorstoppers. Also got her a kong, she also tries to hide that. So, what I did was put lots of blankets on this box so she can do her "digging" in there. So it's like her play pen. I put that thing everywhere, downstairs and in my room. She has a crate that she sleeps in, and I also bring that downstairs when she's there.

This time however, she prefers to sleep in the playpen and not in her crate. It's sort of close to my bed, but the crate is closer. So I'm thinking maybe she is really distancing herself from me when it comes to bedtime.

Both of my yorkies love to hide any type of chew toy or bone. I do not think it is a bad thing, my yorkies seem to love it. They hide it in pillows and blankets and in a few days find it again and they get so excited. I think it is something that yorkies if not all dogs do.

It sounds like you have made some real progress with her. As far as ignoring her, I would reccemend if she wants to play or looking for attention give it to her. If she is looking at you, look back at her and in a very sweet voice call her over and tell her she is good. When she approaches you put your hand out to let her sniff you and then very slowly pet her. Try bringing a toy in and play with her. Also getting training treats (very small & soft treats) or small pieces of boiled chicken and when she comes to you give her little pieces and tell her she is good. If you accotiates you with nothing but good things (food & love) she will have a much easier time trusting you.

It's understandable that you do have things to do any you are unable to sit there all day with her in one room but if you try and dedicate some time every day working on this would probably speed up the process. Also I wouldn't have the maids ignore her either. If she is trusting in them do not take it completely away.

[kjc]

Do you go to bed with your hair up or down?

I think it's your hair. It's up when you enter the shower and down when you come out. To her, she's thinking the one coming out is a stranger. Probably can account for her leariness with being in the bedroom with you at night.... she's not figured it out yet.

When she's watching you, take your hair down in front of her, slowly. At the first sign of fear, put it back up. And talk sweetly and reassuringly to her the whole time you're messing with your hair, so she can hear that you're the same person.

If your room is private enough, maybe leave the bathroom door open so she can watch as you transform in front of her eyes.



It is a Yorkie thing to try and bury treats and toys, and to dig in the blankets. This is totally normal behavior and many, if not most, Yorkies do it.

[Madraga]

Thanks Star and KJC!

To answer you question on my hair, it's down when I sleep. So maybe it is the hair and the fact that it's night time she'll be stuck with me when my hair is down. This sucks though coz I'll be cutting my hair soon so it'll mean that my hair will be down most of the time in a bob.

Today I fed her in my room and just stayed with her in my room for most of the morning so she started peeing in my room again. She growls at this glass cabinet that I have, she watches it all day and growls at it. I keep going to it and reassuring her that it's nothing by patting the cabinet and stuff. But I dunno what she sees in there that makes her so angry at it. Probably why she slept in the play pen instead of her crate coz the crate is right next to the glass cabinet.

[DvlshAngel985]

Originally Posted by Madraga

Thanks Star and KJC!

To answer you question on my hair, it's down when I sleep. So maybe it is the hair and the fact that it's night time she'll be stuck with me when my hair is down. This sucks though coz I'll be cutting my hair soon so it'll mean that my hair will be down most of the time in a bob.

Today I fed her in my room and just stayed with her in my room for most of the morning so she started peeing in my room again. She growls at this glass cabinet that I have, she watches it all day and growls at it. I keep going to it and reassuring her that it's nothing by patting the cabinet and stuff. But I dunno what she sees in there that makes her so angry at it. Probably why she slept in the play pen instead of her crate coz the crate is right next to the glass cabinet.

Wow. I have nothing to add, I just wanted to wish you luck. I have a fearful dog that acts like I'm the worst person in the world sometimes. He LOVES me, don't get me wrong. He has made it clear that I'm his world. But, every once in a while, he'll sit, put his head down, shake and if I approach him he'll even pee. Why he is that way, I don't know. It took me 3 months to get him to play with me, 6 months to get him interested in toys, and 1+ years to teach him to play tug. He's still not getting it. It takes tons of time, patience, and discipline to make a difference with fearful ones. Stick to a routine, keep everything predictable, and she'll come around.

GOOD LUCK!!!

[kjc]

Originally Posted by Madraga

Thanks Star and KJC!

To answer you question on my hair, it's down when I sleep. So maybe it is the hair and the fact that it's night time she'll be stuck with me when my hair is down. This sucks though coz I'll be cutting my hair soon so it'll mean that my hair will be down most of the time in a bob.

Today I fed her in my room and just stayed with her in my room for most of the morning so she started peeing in my room again. She growls at this glass cabinet that I have, she watches it all day and growls at it. I keep going to it and reassuring her that it's nothing by patting the cabinet and stuff. But I dunno what she sees in there that makes her so angry at it. Probably why she slept in the play pen instead of her crate coz the crate is right next to the glass cabinet.

She'll eventually get used to your hair, I think it just freaked her out going from being up, then down. Try letting her see changes... cut may be better... easier for her to adjust to.

She's probably seeing her reflection in the cabinet...

If it turns out to be your hair that's bothering her, then you can just scrap all the other stuff... that was just a way to get her to bond with you, but now we know that you are not the problem, just your hair that is causing the problem. So once you find a way to soothe her fears, and she accepts your hair, I don't think you'll have a problem with her with bonding or anything! Keep your PJ's and your shampoo, let her have the run of the house, as she seems to do better housetraining that way, let her play with the maids, and just enjoy her company. You did say she follows you during the day, so that means she does like you, she's just not used to a person that can change their appearance (in her eyes) so quickly. After your hair is cut, just be careful when you shower and go from dry hair to wet hair. I know this seems trivial, but on her level, it's major, so if you can minimize changes in your appearance, I think you'll do a lot better with her, she won't be getting as freaked out. Let me know how it goes... and best of luck with her!

[Madraga]

Thanks. I tried what KJC suggested about putting my hair down then putting it back up and letting her see it. I think she sort of gets it. It takes her shorter to recover now. But she still gets the shock. She has her moods every once in a while. Sometimes she'll just act like she's scared of me and peek and see if it's really me. Then later she'll be all clingy and stuff. It's still crazy but I'm trying. I give her walks without a leash sometimes coz she gets freaked out by her own leash, I think having her on a leash is like constricting her free will so I figured I'll let her go without a leash and keep an eye on her and just try to comfort or reassure her when she gets freaked out. This actually worked coz I wanted to go into the house so I told her to follow me and she didn't follow so I allowed her to walk and discover some more. Then when it was really time to go in, she went in. When we were in I let her settle down a bit and asked her to go out again. This time she just stood by the door watching and she didn't want to go, so I didn't let her. She's not a very confident dog and I think it's coz she doesn't feel confident enough that she'll be just fine with me. So I allow her to discover that she'll be fine.

I don't know if what i'm doing is right or not but i'm just trying everything I can try. If you think there are some things I'm doing wrong, please let me know. As far as the Alpha thing goes, I think she never thought of herself as an alpha, coz if she did, why would she be so scared of everything?

[Madraga]

i got another question... Are Yorkies supposed to have wet noses all the time? Coz I know having a wet nose is a sign of good health. Mine would have wet nose at times but dry at times. Like in a day she'd have wet nose and then later dry then later wet. So I dunno if she's sick or she's having some problems coz her nose is not wet all the time. When I took her to the vet due to her dehydration a couple of weeks ago, she had wet nose and it was dripping. I asked the vet and she just said my dog is just frightened so she's not licking her nose to regulate the wetness.

Dunno what your experiences are. Are their nose wet all day? When they wake up?

Thanks.

[BlueBelle]

This is probably off the wall, but it almost sounded to me like she might have a vision problem. Do a little vision test, like throw a small bit that she might like, to see if she can see it. Of course, with their noses they could sniff it out. Just a thought that occured to me with her waking up and suddenly being frightened of you.