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06-18-2008, 04:44 PM | #1 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: tuscaloosa
Posts: 779
| divorce I'm getting a divorce. It was decided today. A VERY stupid fight finally was the last step. I tried as I always do to end it and he wouldn't so I mention a divorce and he took it. I'm not crying. I think I am still in shock. My heart is so heavy I feel like a 50 pound weight is laying on my chest to where I can't breath. I have no real friends. I'm broke. I'm scared. I am honestly scared. |
Welcome Guest! | |
06-18-2008, 04:53 PM | #3 |
Donating YT 30K Club Member | I am sorry you have to go through this trying time. But maybe in the long run you will be happier. Would you both consider counseling? I will keep you in my prayers.
__________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html |
06-18-2008, 04:58 PM | #4 |
Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa
Posts: 12,552
| I am sorry that you have to go through this. Is it something that you have been thinking about, or did it just come out of the moment of anger. I've been there, I know how lonely you can feel. I also had no friends, no money, no family and 6 kids to feed. But sometimes there just is no other solution and in the end it all works out for the best. Do a lot of prayin. Ask God for his help to get you through this. Good Luck |
06-18-2008, 04:58 PM | #5 | |
BANNED! Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Jacksonville
Posts: 97
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06-18-2008, 05:04 PM | #6 |
Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: NJ
Posts: 4,021
| I'm so sorry. I hope that you can work everything out for whatever is best for you. {{{hugs}}}
__________________ Teri Owned by and completely devoted to Tucker... Maddie, we will always love you Bandit, you are always in my heart Proud Member SSLS |
06-18-2008, 05:11 PM | #7 |
I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member | Divorce shouldn't be decided in one day, anymore than marriage should. Sometimes divorce is the answer, but you must really feel like you have tried every alternative before considering divorce. So many people divorce, never learning what went wrong in the first place, and trade one set of problems for another. Obviously, both you and your husband are unhappy, but this could be one of the "rough times" that every marriage goes through. Find a good therapist, they are much cheaper than divorce lawyers, and look at this as a positive step in helping build a real relationship. The only difference between those couples that are celebrating there 50th anniversary and those that divorced, is one member of the marriage felt like the marriage was worth saving and worked through those rough times. Best wishes.
__________________ NancyJoey Proud members of the CrAzYcLuB and YAP! ** Just Say No to Puppymills – Join YAP! Yorkshire Terrier Club of America – Breeder Referrals |
06-18-2008, 05:14 PM | #8 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: tuscaloosa
Posts: 779
| The D word wasn't mentioned out of anger it was fustration. I'm tired of being the one to end arguements. We have done counseling. He cheated and is going to AA meetings. No we never got violent at each other. He would never hit me out of anger. It all comes down to stupid fights. Love isn't the issue. But love doesn't get you through everything. I love my husband with my whole heart and my strength has gotten us this far. And I'm not fighting anymore whether for us or against each other. I want my husband by I don't think he truly wants me. |
06-18-2008, 05:16 PM | #9 |
Luvs Lulu Donating Member | Maybe a trial seperation and the counseling as a couple and seperately. You have a few different issues that are on your plate right now. Sending you a big old hug.
__________________ Lulu will always be in my heart |
06-18-2008, 05:21 PM | #10 |
I love my baby girls! Donating Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Indiana
Posts: 2,718
| My daughter is going through the same thing right now. I hate it for you and I hate it for her. I hope whatever is best for you, is what the outcome is. Take Care, Tammy
__________________ Tammy, Mama to Abby Grace Daisy Mae RIP Peanut & Chloe, ABBY 's WINSTON Within the heart of every stray Lies the singular desire to be loved |
06-18-2008, 05:33 PM | #11 |
No Longer a Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: tuscaloosa
Posts: 779
| What if I'm tired of being the one person. I have been that person since we started falling apart. I still want our marriage like I said I love my husband but I want him to want me enough to fight for it. |
06-18-2008, 05:46 PM | #12 | |
I ♥ Joey & Ralphie! Donating Member | Quote:
I understand, it can be very difficult when you are the only one who's fighting for it, but I'm just saying that the way it is in most marriages that last. If he's going to AA, it sounds like he's attempting to make some major changes in his life, and he probably thinks if you weren't in his life, he could just drink and be happy. He will be going through a emotional rollercoaster the first year of abstinence, and needs to learn how to communicate his feelings instead of drinking them away. I'm just saying I highly recommend counseling because even if you decide divorce is the best thing, you will feel better about your decision, and discover what you want out of life and how to get it.
__________________ NancyJoey Proud members of the CrAzYcLuB and YAP! ** Just Say No to Puppymills – Join YAP! Yorkshire Terrier Club of America – Breeder Referrals | |
06-18-2008, 07:01 PM | #13 | |
Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: KS
Posts: 3,289
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__________________ Joanne Eli ChipperEva Snowboy Rosie(R.I.P. 1996-July 29, 2013) Cocoa(R.I.P 1998-April 26, 2012): | |
06-18-2008, 08:26 PM | #14 |
Tiny Dog Big Heart Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Texas
Posts: 6,205
| I am so sorry to hear this. Your heart must be breaking. I hope that things can be worked out, but please know my prayers are with you whatever the outcome.
__________________ Little Bit |
06-18-2008, 10:01 PM | #15 |
Donating YT Addict Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Boonville, IN
Posts: 2,018
| I am sorry also that you are having to go thru this. Hoping things will work out for the best for you. Please know that you have friends on here you can turn to for advice and support during this difficult time.
__________________ Winston Packer & Pokey Proud member of the CrAzYcLuB Winston Abby Last edited by winstonw; 06-18-2008 at 10:05 PM. |
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