I am so upset....crushed - YorkieTalk.com Forums

NanaDtreasures · 04-03-2008, 05:56 PM

I've been waiting for Nala to whelp.So I've been online posting lots today
All these porn popups kept coming up
I thought oh no not again

My husband and I have only been married 4 years.
We are both 50.I was married before for 22 years. He had not,
Right before we got married this happened.
My brother who is a computer geek came to fix our computer after porn popups and
when going thru found so many porn sites it made me sick....
Picture after picture of women who were large...
PLEASE dont take offense anyone I beg you.
But they were called "plumper" sites?
After all the popups today, I called my brother and ask him to walk me thru how to get rid of it again.
And the same thing over and over.
I am so hurt...this is not me. I am 5'7" and 124 lbs.
Please dont think its the larger woman thing.
I know larger women are beautiful too
My son is 6'2 and over 300 lbs.
But its not me
And it showed the times...It was always right before he came to bed to be with me.
Like he had to look at this to be with me?
It hurts so bad
Am I making sense? I know I'm rambling

Saleswman · 04-03-2008, 06:03 PM

You need to have a conversation with him.....I would be mad too.......he is the one with the issue...not you.......he could use a little counseling....JMHO

NanaDtreasures · 04-03-2008, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Saleswman

You need to have a conversation with him.....I would be mad too.......he is the one with the issue...not you.......he could use a little counseling....JMHO

Thank you for understanding (hugs)
I am just crushed. I wish I had never seen this.
We went to counseling together the first time this happened and they told him if you want a marriage you will never do this again. It not just that its porn , but what you look at.
Its hurts Debbi...but he still does it and I never wanted to look or check again until all these popups today

flgurl69 · 04-03-2008, 06:10 PM

I'm sorry....

I do agree with the OP.

NanaDtreasures · 04-03-2008, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flgurl69

I'm sorry....

I do agree with the OP.

Thanks hun

I just dont think men realize how much harm this can do to a marriage or a family , relationships even just looking at what I call Barbie doll porn.
My friend said tonight..well at least he's not looking at men or children....
Like that makes me feel better?

Bizzymammabee · 04-03-2008, 06:43 PM

Aw hon it's not you. My girlfriend just kicked her man out. Same problem and he couldn't function with her without watching it before or sometimes during. It was not the least satisfying for him and the problem got worse and worse. She confronted him why their cable bill was so riddled with it, why his history was also riddled with it. He was sneaking home from work to watch the stuff and also watching it on the computer at his job.

It's a sickness..honestly. See if he wants to get some help before it destroys all that you have. It did to my friend..they had just purchased a house and gotten engaged. Very sad...it was 5 years down the drain.

FL Tink · 04-03-2008, 06:51 PM

SO sorry youre having to deal with this. Men are visual people where women are feeling people. Fantasy is not always bad. I am not in your shoes and am not in any way discounting your feeling. Men have totally different thoughts, feelings and needs than women. I would much rather him look at pictures occassionally than go out and meet women. If you talked to him I bet he would tell you that he loves your very much just the way your are!!!
I bet he would also tell you he doesnt "need" to see those pics before turning in either!! You are so much more to him than a lover!! No one can fill your shoes!

Julz · 04-03-2008, 06:56 PM

awwwww

. Totally nausiating and crushing. It takes so long to build trust up and a second to tear it down. AND HE KNEW BETTER!!!! Still, I know it sickens your very heart. And to have found it again when you are already stressed over your girl whelping

. I dread BIG decisions like the many that must be going through your head. Even the intial confrontation. Oh, I know I'm not helping a bit....but I am understanding and totally feeling for you. Without trust....IT SUCKS

!!!! I have a feeling that the understanding and support you are going to get here is going to help you through this...whatever your decision is. I know this is long...and trust me, I'm holding back. Feel free to PM me if you don't want to post something. I will be here for you.

NanaDtreasures · 04-03-2008, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bizzymammabee

Aw hon it's not you. My girlfriend just kicked her man out. Same problem and he couldn't function with her without watching it before or sometimes during. It was not the least satisfying for him and the problem got worse and worse. She confronted him why their cable bill was so riddled with it, why his history was also riddled with it. He was sneaking home from work to watch the stuff and also watching it on the computer at his job.

It's a sickness..honestly. See if he wants to get some help before it destroys all that you have. It did to my friend..they had just purchased a house and gotten engaged. Very sad...it was 5 years down the drain.

Thank you so much...I know its late
You're a sweetie
I read online...looking for help tonight about porn addiction,
And it says they actually get desensitized to sex.
Even men in their 20's .. when they supposedly are in there prime, are having ED because of online porn.
All I know is this hurts so bad.
We have many more problems in our marriage.
and If I hadnt bought this house , I too would just take my furbabies and leave.
I cant go into it tonight...But maybe I will tomorrow.
I feel so sick...Going to bed soon

Theres so many here on YT that maybe someone can help me on what to do...legally I mean.
I know how your friend feels...5 years of my life down the drain and wayyy to much hurt for my family with this man.

Julz · 04-03-2008, 06:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FL Tink

SO sorry youre having to deal with this. Men are visual people where women are feeling people. Fantasy is not always bad. I am not in your shoes and am not in any way discounting your feeling. Men have totally different thoughts, feelings and needs than women. I would much rather him look at pictures occassionally than go out and meet women. If you talked to him I bet he would tell you that he loves your very much just the way your are!!!
I bet he would also tell you he doesnt "need" to see those pics before turning in either!! You are so much more to him than a lover!! No one can fill your shoes!

You are so right in that men ARE visual and women ARE feeling.

katelin · 04-03-2008, 07:00 PM

Oh, I am sooo sorry that you are having to deal with this. I can understand why you are so upset. And we had such a good time on line today. Awww, I'm so sorry!

I agree that you need to talk to him, and maybe counseling if it is truly that big a part of his life.

The only other thing I can add is that men of a certain age sometimes have trouble doing the things they want to do (or used to do). I think they feel very inadequate and even if you say it doesn't matter, it matters to them. If that is what it is, I personally would feel better, and I'd go a different route with my discussion with him.

Whatever happens, we are all here for you. We'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best....

Saleswman · 04-03-2008, 07:02 PM

Try to get some rest.....are your children grown??

We will be here for you in the morning

Quote:

Originally Posted by NanaDtreasures

Thank you so much...I know its late
You're a sweetie
I read online...looking for help tonight about porn addiction,
And it says they actually get desensitized to sex.
Even men in their 20's .. when they supposedly are in there prime, are having ED because of online porn.
All I know is this hurts so bad.
We have many more problems in our marriage.
and If I hadnt bought this house , I too would just take my furbabies and leave.
I cant go into it tonight...But maybe I will tomorrow.
I feel so sick...Going to bed soon

Theres so many here on YT that maybe someone can help me on what to do...legally I mean.
I know how your friend feels...5 years of my life down the drain and wayyy to much hurt for my family with this man.

Superstarkba · 04-03-2008, 07:03 PM

You should talk to "carlibllonde" she just went through this and is going through this.

Im sorry

I don't have any advice for you

NanaDtreasures · 04-03-2008, 07:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FL Tink

SO sorry youre having to deal with this. Men are visual people where women are feeling people. Fantasy is not always bad. I am not in your shoes and am not in any way discounting your feeling. Men have totally different thoughts, feelings and needs than women. I would much rather him look at pictures occassionally than go out and meet women. If you talked to him I bet he would tell you that he loves your very much just the way your are!!!
I bet he would also tell you he doesnt "need" to see those pics before turning in either!! You are so much more to him than a lover!! No one can fill your shoes!

Yes I know....men are visual and so different then women.
But no....he needs those pics big time.
Hes looked at 100's
And sometimes it still dont work.!!!!!!!!!!!

He doesnt like my body type it seems.
And thats ok....but why marry me this way if thats not what he prefers.
Oh...he may want me on his arm
But he dont want me in the bed

katelin · 04-03-2008, 07:06 PM

Oh, I just saw your last post. I'm a retired lawyer in California and although I don't know anything about Ohio law, if there is anything I can help with, let me know.

04-03-2008, 05:56 PM	#1
NanaDtreasures YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Lil Bitty Goat farm in Ohio Posts: 1,262	I am so upset....crushed I've been waiting for Nala to whelp.So I've been online posting lots today All these porn popups kept coming up I thought oh no not again My husband and I have only been married 4 years. We are both 50.I was married before for 22 years. He had not, Right before we got married this happened. My brother who is a computer geek came to fix our computer after porn popups and when going thru found so many porn sites it made me sick.... Picture after picture of women who were large... PLEASE dont take offense anyone I beg you. But they were called "plumper" sites? After all the popups today, I called my brother and ask him to walk me thru how to get rid of it again. And the same thing over and over. I am so hurt...this is not me. I am 5'7" and 124 lbs. Please dont think its the larger woman thing. I know larger women are beautiful too My son is 6'2 and over 300 lbs. But its not me And it showed the times...It was always right before he came to bed to be with me. Like he had to look at this to be with me? It hurts so bad Am I making sense? I know I'm rambling __________________ Debbi ~ I Yahoo as Nanadebstreasures Follow the 3 R's~~~ Respect for self...Respect for others ...Responsibility for all your actions

04-03-2008, 06:03 PM	#2
Saleswman Donating YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Tennessee Posts: 1,544	I understand You need to have a conversation with him.....I would be mad too.......he is the one with the issue...not you.......he could use a little counseling....JMHO

04-03-2008, 06:10 PM	#4
flgurl69 <3 My Little Bella Donating Member Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Cape Coral, Florida Posts: 1,834	I'm sorry.... I do agree with the OP. __________________ Official Member of The cRaZy Club Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

04-03-2008, 06:43 PM	#6
Bizzymammabee Luvs Lulu Donating Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Queens, NY Posts: 6,000	Aw hon it's not you. My girlfriend just kicked her man out. Same problem and he couldn't function with her without watching it before or sometimes during. It was not the least satisfying for him and the problem got worse and worse. She confronted him why their cable bill was so riddled with it, why his history was also riddled with it. He was sneaking home from work to watch the stuff and also watching it on the computer at his job. It's a sickness..honestly. See if he wants to get some help before it destroys all that you have. It did to my friend..they had just purchased a house and gotten engaged. Very sad...it was 5 years down the drain. __________________ Beth mommie to Zoey & Toby Proud member of Petite Pups United! RIP Lulu. My world will never be the same without you. 12/31/07

04-03-2008, 06:51 PM	#7
FL Tink BELLA~YORKALICIOUS Donating Member Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Riverview, Florida Posts: 4,419	SO sorry youre having to deal with this. Men are visual people where women are feeling people. Fantasy is not always bad. I am not in your shoes and am not in any way discounting your feeling. Men have totally different thoughts, feelings and needs than women. I would much rather him look at pictures occassionally than go out and meet women. If you talked to him I bet he would tell you that he loves your very much just the way your are!!! I bet he would also tell you he doesnt "need" to see those pics before turning in either!! You are so much more to him than a lover!! No one can fill your shoes! __________________ Lisa & Smella Bella www.Myspace.com/Tampatinker My dog, she looks at me sometimes with that look, and I think maybe deep down inside she must know exactly how I feel. But then maybe she just wants the food off my plate.

04-03-2008, 06:56 PM	#8
Julz Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 2005 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 4,208	awwwww . Totally nausiating and crushing. It takes so long to build trust up and a second to tear it down. AND HE KNEW BETTER!!!! Still, I know it sickens your very heart. And to have found it again when you are already stressed over your girl whelping . I dread BIG decisions like the many that must be going through your head. Even the intial confrontation. Oh, I know I'm not helping a bit....but I am understanding and totally feeling for you. Without trust....IT SUCKS !!!! I have a feeling that the understanding and support you are going to get here is going to help you through this...whatever your decision is. I know this is long...and trust me, I'm holding back. Feel free to PM me if you don't want to post something. I will be here for you.

04-03-2008, 07:00 PM	#11
katelin YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: California Posts: 1,388	Oh, I am sooo sorry that you are having to deal with this. I can understand why you are so upset. And we had such a good time on line today. Awww, I'm so sorry! I agree that you need to talk to him, and maybe counseling if it is truly that big a part of his life. The only other thing I can add is that men of a certain age sometimes have trouble doing the things they want to do (or used to do). I think they feel very inadequate and even if you say it doesn't matter, it matters to them. If that is what it is, I personally would feel better, and I'd go a different route with my discussion with him. Whatever happens, we are all here for you. We'll be thinking of you and hoping for the best.... __________________ KATELIN COCO RUBY BIZZY BEEJERSEY BOY SUMATRA and LATTE ghug:

04-03-2008, 07:03 PM	#13
Superstarkba Aubrey's Mom Donating Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: Georgia Posts: 9,359	You should talk to "carlibllonde" she just went through this and is going through this. Im sorry I don't have any advice for you __________________ Kelsey And Aubrey I love my little

04-03-2008, 07:06 PM	#15
katelin YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: California Posts: 1,388	Oh, I just saw your last post. I'm a retired lawyer in California and although I don't know anything about Ohio law, if there is anything I can help with, let me know. __________________ KATELIN COCO RUBY BIZZY BEEJERSEY BOY SUMATRA and LATTE ghug: