I need help!

[Kandyam]

I need help regaining my girlfriends yorkies trust. I'm so sorry and down on myself because i have disciplined him by hitting him he's about 1 1/2. I know I screwed up by doing that and I'm deeply sorry. My gf is so scared of me that he won't eat treats out of my hand and I just really need advice on what to do gain his trust again. I watched him before while I was spring break when i had a week off. He loved it because I took him outside and we played, i gave treats for tricks i was showing him off to everybody on campus there was time where he would follow me everywhere and even at my girlfriends place he would lay on me way more than he would with her she kept asking me questions on why he was loving me way more than her. It all changed one day when I watched him again and we had a rough day he was testing me and not listening something he never does at my place because we have rules we follow and I lost i hit a handful of times with my hand on his butt. I know this is not right My girlfriend said she has done it before. Now he won't eat treats from my hand but when my girlfriend does it he will eat but then she will get me a treat he will look away. Yesterday it was real bad i was messing around with him and he got really terrified of me while i was my girlfriends to the point where he went to his kennel by himself! he never does that ever he hates going to his kennel. its to the point where he doesn't have fun going on walks with me. It's so sad and it hurts I know I messed up i just want advice on how i gain his trust again. I will never hit ever again i know that. There was a point of time where it seemed like he looked up to me as the leader of the "pack" now he is just downright scared and terrified and I know I caused it but i just want his trust again. sorry for the long post.

[joann1166]

I would say time...it will take time for him to trust you again.

[yavenay]

It's going to be a long road to regain his trust. However you took a big step in admitting what you did and acknowledging that it was wrong. The first thing to do is not to push it. Let him come to you in his own time. Start by sitting the treat down near you and let him come to the treat in his own time not yours. He has to see you as a source of all things that are good to him.

The good news is that it is possible to regain his trust assuming that hitting him is not a normal occurrence. It will take some time but it will be worth it. The best way to discipline is to reward good behavior and ignore bad behavior but never hit under any circumstances as you now know that hitting is counterproductive and causes loss of trust and fear.

[Wylie's Mom]

Originally Posted by yavenay

It's going to be a long road to regain his trust. However you took a big step in admitting what you did and acknowledging that it was wrong. The first thing to do is not to push it. Let him come to you in his own time. Start by sitting the treat down near you and let him come to the treat in his own time not yours. He has to see you as a source of all things that are good to him.

The good news is that it is possible to regain his trust assuming that hitting him is not a normal occurrence. It will take some time but it will be worth it. The best way to discipline is to reward good behavior and ignore bad behavior but never hit under any circumstances as you now know that hitting is counterproductive and causes loss of trust and fear.

It's awesome that you've recognized what went wrong here, and that you're so committed to doing right by this little precious one -- and that makes me confident that you'll get there .

Take it slow, go easy, and I'd give lots of treats and praise and positive talk to him. Take him for walks together and treat him when he pees...you should hold the leash rather than your gf.

Some dogs are super sensitive, and it will just take time to set things right again...hang in there.

[JadeD]

He is afraid of being punished again. I also reward good behavior and re-direct/ignore bad behavior. My main thing is to distract from bad behavior. My Yorkie loves to tip over the trash can and get into the garbage. I try to not throw away "good stuff" until right before I take out the trash so there isn't anything good smelling in it to him.

I am sorry that you lost your temper with them dog. I find a firm no to be so much more effective than hitting if you must do something.

Keep loving on him. Maybe avoid playing rough until he trusts you again. Keep working with him on giving him treats for tricks. I would recommend praise, lots and lots of praise. Earn back his trust and affection.

Good luck and I am glad that you see that hitting didn't cause good. I can't imagine my Yorkie doing anything that would warrant being hit. If he has an accident in the house I clean it up, I don't even scold him. If he gets in the trash I clean it up and give him that look that says "I can't believe you did that!" If he steals my candy bar in the car (true story) I just say " I can't believe you ate a piece of my candy bar." and throw the rest of it away. By the way, you should never give a dog chocolate, mine stole it because I was careless and left it where he could get to it and luckily he only got a little bite of it.

If mine is being stubborn I just be more stubborn back at him. I am a Taurus though, stubborn is my speciality! LOL

Good luck and it will take time, but it will be worth it for both his sake and your girlfriend's too.

[Kandyam]

Thank you all for the advice and support and not bashing me for what I did wrong. I know it's going to be a long road and I'm willing to accept that challenge. I'm going to take him on a walk around the lake today and ignore all of his bad behavior and treat him when he does good! I really appreciate it. If there is anymore advice please keep it coming.

[Kandyam]

I will also keeping you all posted on this challenge I hope it turns out well!

[JadeD]

I wish you the best of luck with winning back his trust!

I know that we all make mistakes and I am sure I made my share of mistakes with pets when I was younger. I have many years of experience with many different types of animals now.

Just hang in there and keep working with him and gain his trust and then his love back.

Good luck! Please do let us know how it is going with him.

[Kandyam]

So today went really well and we made so much progress believe it or not. At first we went on a long walk on the lake he seemed like he enjoyed it, then we got to my place I took the advice about setting the treats on the floor and i did that while i laid on the couch, he was laying on me then i got up to go to my room he went to follow me but before that he saw the treats and started to eat one i peaked out of my room and saw him so i started to praise him then he dropped it right out of his mouth I was so sad then I knew something was wrong.

But i didn't get mad i sat on the floor placed treats by me he ate one, then i placed one on my lap he at that one. Couple hours later I took him out for another walk which he seemed to enjoy i brought him back in he was really excited so i thought to myself why not let me try to get him a treat for being a good boy so i put one in my hand he actually came and got it i was so happy, he really made my day. He's now eating treats out of my hand its been a couple months since he has. I have lots more i can share but its bed time my girlfriend let me keep him for the night so we can regain our bond i want to thank everybody again for the advice. good night!

[jp4m2]

Originally Posted by Kandyam

So today went really well and we made so much progress believe it or not. At first we went on a long walk on the lake he seemed like he enjoyed it, then we got to my place I took the advice about setting the treats on the floor and i did that while i laid on the couch, he was laying on me then i got up to go to my room he went to follow me but before that he saw the treats and started to eat one i peaked out of my room and saw him so i started to praise him then he dropped it right out of his mouth I was so sad then I knew something was wrong.

But i didn't get mad i sat on the floor placed treats by me he ate one, then i placed one on my lap he at that one. Couple hours later I took him out for another walk which he seemed to enjoy i brought him back in he was really excited so i thought to myself why not let me try to get him a treat for being a good boy so i put one in my hand he actually came and got it i was so happy, he really made my day. He's now eating treats out of my hand its been a couple months since he has. I have lots more i can share but its bed time my girlfriend let me keep him for the night so we can regain our bond i want to thank everybody again for the advice. good night!

I have to say I actually teared up when I read your first post. I'm so glad you are able to admit your behavior was wrong and your willing to do all you can do to make it right.

After reading your update I have complete faith in you that you are going to do all you can to help this pup heal. I feel from your posts this has affected you deeply and as terrible as it was it was also was a valuable lesson for you. I wish you all the best in your efforts in helping this pup overcome his emotional hurt.

[maxdog]

I see a bright and loving future between the 2 of you!

[JadeD]

Just keep it up! It will continue to get better. You may make a sudden move that startles him and just talk softly to him if that happens. He will remember for a long time. I do believe that things will be good in the future.