Everyone Please Read: Going Forward, We Must Post With More Respect Toward Others

[Lovetodream88]

Markfromsea I think you need to read the thread starting at the beginning and see what it is all about!

[Faboosh]

I have mixed feelings about this thread. On the one hand, I'm happy to see it since I myself felt totally discouraged to participate at all over the last 9 months I've been away and know I'm not alone in that- so I hope this is a positive and permanent change here. On the other hand, it's sad that it even needs to be said on a site full of mostly adults who are Yorkie lovers.

At the end of the day, we're all here because of our love for this breed. I know that I've learned an awful lot from these forums and want to be able to stick around and continue to learn more and share what I know with others- we all need the help and camaraderie. None of us need the negativity, however. Life in general is negative enough, why add to it?

[MauiGirl]

Originally Posted by lisaly

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. —Ian Maclaren

I love this poster and quote. There is a book for middle school aged kids called Wonder that has sold over a million copies. It is now a school-wide read for our district's middle school. Although my students are ninth graders, I read it to see how I could spread the book's important message to them. The book has great appeal to kids, but adults have really loved it, including me. It is about a boy with severe craniofacial abnormalities who enters school for the very first time in fifth grade. There is a big campaign (Choose Kind) spreading the book's anti-bullying message. If you have children it's wonderful to read this book with them. This quote was used in the follow up book to Wonder that had a chapter written from the bully's point of view.


Wonder

The Julian Chapter: A Wonder Story: R. J. Palacio, Michael Chamberlain: 9781491524084: Amazon.com: Books

Amazon.com: The Julian Chapter: A Wonder Story (Kindle Single) eBook: R. J. Palacio: Kindle Store


These are some of Wonder's quotes about kindness:

“When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind. - Dr Wayne W. Dyer”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder

“Kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder
From a quote by Barrie, the author of Peter Pan

Part of the passage that used the quote:
“But in another book by J. M. Barrie called The Little White Bird … he writes …” He started flipping through a small book on the podium until he found the page he was looking for, and then he put on his reading glasses. “ ‘Shall we make a new rule of life … always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?’ ” Here Mr. Tushman looked up at the audience. “Kinder than is necessary,” he repeated. “What a marvelous line, isn’t it? Kinder than is necessary. Because it’s not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder


“We carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder

“There’s no rule book that tells you how to act in every given situation in life, you know? So what I always say is that it’s always better to err on the side of kindness. That’s the secret. If you don’t know what to do, just be kind. You can’t go wrong.”
― R.J. Palacio, The Julian Chapter: A Wonder Story

Lisa, thank you for this post full of very meaningful quotes. I love them all, and the whole concept of "Chose Kind" and Be Kind is something that one would think should be the first response in any situation.

We can never underestimate the power of positive thoughts, words and actions, and it should not take much effort to go in that direction.

[Chas W]

I totally agree! It seems that many people, today, are either easily offended, or prefer to offend rather than engage civilly! Many thanks to those who practice civility!

[GracieJane]

Originally Posted by lisaly

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. —Ian Maclaren

I love this poster and quote. There is a book for middle school aged kids called Wonder that has sold over a million copies. It is now a school-wide read for our district's middle school. Although my students are ninth graders, I read it to see how I could spread the book's important message to them. The book has great appeal to kids, but adults have really loved it, including me. It is about a boy with severe craniofacial abnormalities who enters school for the very first time in fifth grade. There is a big campaign (Choose Kind) spreading the book's anti-bullying message. If you have children it's wonderful to read this book with them. This quote was used in the follow up book to Wonder that had a chapter written from the bully's point of view.


Wonder

The Julian Chapter: A Wonder Story: R. J. Palacio, Michael Chamberlain: 9781491524084: Amazon.com: Books

Amazon.com: The Julian Chapter: A Wonder Story (Kindle Single) eBook: R. J. Palacio: Kindle Store


These are some of Wonder's quotes about kindness:

“When given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind. - Dr Wayne W. Dyer”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder

“Kinder than is necessary. Because it's not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder
From a quote by Barrie, the author of Peter Pan

Part of the passage that used the quote:
“But in another book by J. M. Barrie called The Little White Bird … he writes …” He started flipping through a small book on the podium until he found the page he was looking for, and then he put on his reading glasses. “ ‘Shall we make a new rule of life … always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?’ ” Here Mr. Tushman looked up at the audience. “Kinder than is necessary,” he repeated. “What a marvelous line, isn’t it? Kinder than is necessary. Because it’s not enough to be kind. One should be kinder than needed.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder


“We carry with us, as human beings, not just the capacity to be kind, but the very choice of kindness.”
― R.J. Palacio, Wonder

“There’s no rule book that tells you how to act in every given situation in life, you know? So what I always say is that it’s always better to err on the side of kindness. That’s the secret. If you don’t know what to do, just be kind. You can’t go wrong.”
― R.J. Palacio, The Julian Chapter: A Wonder Story

Thank you for taking the time to write this post. I have read every word of this thread and Wonder AND The Julian Chapter and could not have put this together anywhere near this fluently. Some of the same quotes are posted in my classroom, and there is great wisdom in each one.

It just helps to speak the truth in love. Still working on that. . .

[gemy]

Kindness is the only emotion that will stand the test of time,
It will look well, and be well,

Long after the prism of politeness, and the complexion of courtesy

Has passed and faded away.


Anon....

[lisaly]

Originally Posted by MauiGirl

Lisa, thank you for this post full of very meaningful quotes. I love them all, and the whole concept of "Chose Kind" and Be Kind is something that one would think should be the first response in any situation.

We can never underestimate the power of positive thoughts, words and actions, and it should not take much effort to go in that direction.

Originally Posted by GracieJane

Thank you for taking the time to write this post. I have read every word of this thread and Wonder AND The Julian Chapter and could not have put this together anywhere near this fluently. Some of the same quotes are posted in my classroom, and there is great wisdom in each one.

It just helps to speak the truth in love. Still working on that. . .

Thank you both for your kindness. It's such a beautiful story with a very important message for people of all ages, and it was a quick and enjoyable read. I needed to read the Julian story afterwards to try to understand Julian and his mom. I found her attitude horrible. I love how his grandmother's story affected him so powerfully. I will definitely be sharing this novel's themes with my students. I'm going to buy the newest book relating to Wonder. I've downloaded a sample on my IPad and Kindle and have been excited about it. I love the idea of precepts with my students.

When I read Wonder, I kept thinking of Ann (Wylie's Mom). The character of Summer reminded me of her because of her kindness. Ann should know what a huge compliment that is!

365 Days of Wonder: Mr. Browne's Book of...

Wonder: R. J. Palacio: 9780375869020: Amazon.com:...

[intilis]

Originally Posted by MarkFromSea

I've asked several times that this posting be removed.
You chose to delete what I wrote, so delete this as well. I described who attacked me in particular when I first joined when I asked about dental care for my old dog who we had just been given to us. As well as my observation of her attacking others that had just joined. I also pointed out that that person is playing all nice and wonderful in this thread as if she is as innocent as a newly born baby. I find that hypocritical.

There appears to be a great deal of favoritism as to who's postings are left when deletions occur....

Have a good day.

Hi Mark, I think you may be misunderstanding how this works. I believe they only delete rude or nasty or controversial posts.

[ladyjane]

I feel your pain....my well written post was removed as well because I quoted you in all your nastiness. Why you are chosing to obsess over one thread where I was NOT rude to you is beyond me MarkFromSea. You asked for and received advice. I gave my advice and my opinions. That is allowed on YT. It was not rude and you have been rude and had many postings removed because of it. I believe you were also suspended. If you continue, you will surely find out how far is too far. My advice: let it go

[Piddle Place]

Originally Posted by Wylie's Mom

Hi all -

Firstly, I just want to say what a wonderful community YT is, and that I hope this thread can help us all think about improving our presence here during interactions…even if it just means tweaking our posting styles a bit.

I’ll get right to the point: we’ve been receiving a huge amount of communications from members who are concerned/venting about some of the harshness and aggression they’re seeing/perceiving in the community. This harshness pertains to both new and old members - on both the receiving and giving end of things. We’re hearing there is a pervasive feeling that members are being driven away via disrespectful, snarky, disdainful, extremely aggressive, and downright mean posting styles. This needs to stop.

We cannot be a community or call ourselves a community if we don’t come together sometimes, as a collective, and agree to do better. Well, it’s time to come together and agree to do better...to be more aware of giving (yes, GIVING) respect, to be more kind, to be more compassionate and supportive.

No one is asking anyone to be a Pollyanna or to not be themselves. We’re merely asking that, in your interactions, you strive harder and TRULY commit to what is mentioned in the previous paragraph. It’s not that hard -- and if it IS hard for you, then perhaps this isn’t the right board for you and perhaps it’s time to move on from YT to find an environment that does fit.

We are not asking much. If you do think we’re asking too much, then 1) this is not the community for you 2) you’re being self-centered and 3) you need to develop your insight into human beings, other than yourself. WE ARE NOT ASKING MUCH.

It is okay to speak your mind here at YT. However, it is not okay to simply justify any means you deem fit to meet your end goal. We believe in being STRONG advocates for dogs/animals - but not, however, at the expense of the human being behind that dependent and innocent dog. Please do not assume or think that it’s okay to behave any way you please merely because it’s in the interest of an animal. We all need to be decent here and post w/ a modicum of respect…EVEN when and especially when dealing with someone who is doing everything we are personally opposed to. Your opposition to another human being’s behavior does *not* mean you are right, nor is it a fact that they are universally and categorically wrong….it merely means you have opposition. Please learn to deal with it because it’s not going away.

If we see excessively negative and/or badgering posting styles, we will be warning people or suspending people and/or permanently banning members’ accounts.

This is an open discussion in terms of feedback, thoughts, concerns….so please feel free to share. This post is not aimed at anyone, so please do not make assumptions. It was driven by the sheer amount of concerned members who expressed themselves via PMs and on the forum itself. Thank you for reading!

I thank you so much for saying this, and especially sharing the quote.

I love coming here to see everyone's photos, and was sometimes shocked at the conversations.

I thank this forum for allowing me the courage to adopt another Yorkie after my dog died. I feel like you all are family, like most families, we sometimes argue, but at the end of the day, a big group hug.

[tiffygirl2003]

Like many others on YT, I was also run away because of the harsh, negative response from some posters. I had joined YT as a safe place to go where I could interact, ask questions and even sometimes vent. But what I was confronted with surprised me. I had signed on one day for some advise and the responses from a few posters was their attitudes of superiority and how dumb could I be not to know the answer to my question. Well, in all honesty, why would I have asked the question, if I already knew the answer? I felt so hurt that I stopped posting and attempted to find other sources to help me with my babies. Just 2 days ago, I decided to give the site another try and I was so warmly received even though they didn't know about my inactivity. There are a lot of wonderful, knowledgeable people on YT and I appreciate their assistance and input. From now on, I will report those that are rude or disrespectful and will not allow anyone to run me away again. I missed some of the wonderful folks that I had met on this sight.

[lynzy420]

When I first came here I was attacked and chased off too...at least that was my immediate thought....but then I wondered WHY? Why were these people all chastising me and I investigated and asked questions...I got over myself and my own hurt feelings to find the answer for my pups sake. There came a point when I realized that if I came to a Yorkie Site filled with tons of people that perhaps...just perhaps....I was the one who WAS wrong, hmmmmm could I admit that, could I possibly get around it???? Could I get past my defensiveness for the better of my dog and READ what they were saying instead of taking in personally....well I went with the majority and did what they suggested I did because "hey, they must know something"...the people here saved my pup and me...I am forever grateful that I took their constructive criticism to heart and fought past my own personal feelings, I realized they were here for a reason...I still do...a couple thousand posts later, a bunch of new friends....and resources to turn to when I need help with my pups...the knowledge and experience I've gained because of YT....well its quite immeasurable...its now truly a part of who I am, so to all the whiners like me...take a good look at yourself, take the time to read the words and remember these folks have been here a good long time, they are a resource far greater than you know...if you just allow them/us....PTL for YT!!!

[gemy]

I for one am glad that this is an open *stickey* for new and old timers here.

If you *stick around long enough* sorry for the pun (intended) we have all found ourselves on the short end of the stick so to speak. That means through the years I have been here, I have been subjected to less than kind remarks, and have felt to be under the gun so to speak.

But that is life on a board. Respect, simple human kindness, this stickey reminds me of what is important. Not just here, but in life, all the time, no matter where you walk.

[intilis]

Originally Posted by lynzy420

When I first came here I was attacked and chased off too...at least that was my immediate thought....but then I wondered WHY? Why were these people all chastising me and I investigated and asked questions...I got over myself and my own hurt feelings to find the answer for my pups sake. There came a point when I realized that if I came to a Yorkie Site filled with tons of people that perhaps...just perhaps....I was the one who WAS wrong, hmmmmm could I admit that, could I possibly get around it???? Could I get past my defensiveness for the better of my dog and READ what they were saying instead of taking in personally....well I went with the majority and did what they suggested I did because "hey, they must know something"...the people here saved my pup and me...I am forever grateful that I took their constructive criticism to heart and fought past my own personal feelings, I realized they were here for a reason...I still do...a couple thousand posts later, a bunch of new friends....and resources to turn to when I need help with my pups...the knowledge and experience I've gained because of YT....well its quite immeasurable...its now truly a part of who I am, so to all the whiners like me...take a good look at yourself, take the time to read the words and remember these folks have been here a good long time, they are a resource far greater than you know...if you just allow them/us....PTL for YT!!!

[Piddle Place]

Hey everyone, I thank you again for the the advice and friendship I find on YT. It does feel like family, and I am grateful

Come on now, group hug..