Anxiety from parting with my baby! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

Lori63 · 12-22-2009, 08:56 AM

I am SUFFERING from a decision I had to make to part with one of my yorkies due to her failing health.
I've had her for almost 13 yrs and for the last year and 1/2 she has had numerous problems with her bladder. She would pee in her box and lay in it while I was away from home working. I'd come home every night night to a wet dog, wet box and sometimes she would even poo in there to add to the mess. I would only be gone for 9 hrs...tops! If I left her out while I was gone, she would pee everywhere! This went on for quite a long time and then I began to realize that her urine had a nasty smell to it. That of cat urine........STRONG cat urine. I took her to the vet and he said she had a UTI. He put her on some meds for that and it seemed to help a little but not 100%. A month later I was right back to square one with her again. At the time I was working and not making a lot of money. 9.00 an hr, 3 dogs and high expenses for the area we live in. When I initially purchased these animals, I was married and my husband provided well for us. For the last 10 yrs tho, it's been on me solely and I have deemed it near impossible to handle alone. All of my animals have suffered along with myself on healthcare, but I have done my absolute best for them when push came to shove. Anyway, I took her back to the vet and he said she was probably going to be prone to UTI's and he put her back on the medicine for another round. No help! I took her back a month ago because she was dribbling pee everywhere and I would find her wet on one hip or the other. As far as acting sick, she always seemed in good spirits. I took her to the vet again and he ran a battery of tests on her but never found anything that was a cause for concern. He told me that she had an innie vagina and she was probably hoarding bacteria there because of it. He also said she had a high ph in her urine but 'some dogs just do'. She never got better even tho she took the meds he put her on. Nothing! Well, I have been on unemployment for the last 4-1/2 months and have run out of any chances of being able to care for her properly. What really baffles me is that you try to do what you can, they're sick and you know they are and try to get them help, yet the people you turn to for answers let you down!!! If I could've gotten the right answers I may have been able to keep her!! I ended up turning to the local shelter here for help finding her a home. I really never thought anyone would actually take her because of her age and her health, but I got a call from an older lady that had lost her yorkie 8 months ago. She said it left her with a hole in her heart that she needed to fill. I took my baby over there 2 days later to meet her and of course, she didn't want anything to do with her...or at least, very little. She was completely confused!! The lady wanted her to stay for a couple of days to see how things went and would let me know what she decided. At first I was happy for my little girl that she had found someone to love her and with the means to take care of her. But for the last 3 days I have been beating myself up horribly bad!!! I can't eat, or sleep or think straight. She's everywhere I look and in every thought that goes thru my head. I'd hate to guess how many tears I have shed since this began. I tried to do what was best for HER at my expense. It's what anyone should do when you're in a situation as I am in. I have 2 other dogs, a 14-1/2 yo yorkie and a 9 yo shih tzu. Both have ill health as well. My 15 yo has had a cough for a couple of months now and my shih tzu has dry eye and ear infections almost regularly. After she told me she would keep her, I really began having second thoughts, trying to figure out a way of taking care of her and the vet bills and told the lady. She said that she felt Savannah did not seem heathy at all to her, that she felt she had diabetes and that out of concern for the dog, she felt it in the best interest of the dog that she leave her there. She scheduled a vet appt for today at 2:15 for her to be seen and see what she could do to help her. She told me after about a month with her, and when Savannah gets aclimated to her new home, that I could come and see her, and continue to come and see her from time to time. I know this is what's best from a medical stand point, but I am suffering horribly due to this. She's in my soul!! I love and miss you Vanna!

addevo · 12-22-2009, 11:04 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, but I really admire you for putting your own emotions aside for the good of your little companion. It was a gut wrenching decision, but you did what was best for Savannah. You didn't abandon her, you have given her a chance at a healthy, pain free life. (UTI's can be very painful and since your vet couldn't figure out what she needed, hopefully a new one will be able to help her). And you've done a wonderful thing for her new owner, she desperately needed a little one to dote on.

It takes a lot of LOVE and STRENGTH to do what you did. Please don't beat yourself up, most people won't face up to a situation head-on and do the right thing the way you have. You've had a tough time lately, but you have taken a huge step forward in finding the right home for your baby. You're right, it's extremely difficult to find adopters for older, ailing dogs. The fact that you did is "a sign" that you made the right decision. Re-read "The Serenity Prayer" with that in mind.

I would caution you on going to visit Savannah, though. It will confuse her to see you, and will set back any adjustments she has made to her new home. Also, it will re-open alot of wounds for you. Perhaps the new owner could send you email updates and/or pictures so that you can take comfort in knowing she is healthy and well cared for.

Wishing you all the best.

ARCHIE · 12-22-2009, 11:20 AM

Your said it yourself, "you tried doing what's best for her" and you did.
Really you did. What are the chances of a 13yr old getting adopted?
Yours did. That's amazing in itself. Things happen for a reason I believe
and what you wanted for your girl was a new home and proper health
care. Both now have been provided. I know your heart is breaking. How
could it not after 13yrs of being together. Times change, lives change
and this has happened to you. Know deep in your heart you gave up
something you love more than anything all because you wanted what's
best for it. That's being unselfish and shows just how much love you
had in your heart for her. I can't imagine such a thing and pray I never
have to make that decision but you never know from one day to the
next. I hope your broken heart heals soon. Your girl will adjust given time.
Please don't feel guilty in anyway. You did what you had to do and I
admire you for doing it. Take care of yourself and I hope things get
better for you. Just remember you gave her what you wanted for her.
Your story breaks my heart.

Hugs,

Patti · 12-22-2009, 12:00 PM

You did the right thing even though it is heartbreaking for you. One never knows what financial situations we will run in to in the future. I am fostering a pup right now and as much as I would love to keep her, as you know, the vet bills on 3 can be enormous and I just can't take on a 4th. You did everything you could and now this lady may be able to afford the cost of finding out what is wrong and any future bills. Hugs

Lori63 · 12-22-2009, 12:34 PM

Wow! You all are GREAT supporters and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. All of your kindness and support is helping me in a tremendous way at trying to cope with what I did. I would never wish how I'm feeling on anyone because it's the toughest thing I've ever had to do. I go to bed at night hoping the next day brings me more peace and the next day I wake up thinking about her, and that's all I do until I go to bed. I suffer from separation anxiety as it is and this ordeal has sent me over the edge. I DO know that I did what was best for her. It's just soooooooooo hard! I wish there was a magical pill we could take to deal with these types of things!
Thank you all again! Hugs!

JeanieK · 12-22-2009, 12:44 PM

Take comfort that this lady can afford to give her the medical care that she needs. It sounds like you still have a lot to deal with, with your other two.

You did a very unselfish thing.

ARCHIE · 12-22-2009, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lori63

Wow! You all are GREAT supporters and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. All of your kindness and support is helping me in a tremendous way at trying to cope with what I did. I would never wish how I'm feeling on anyone because it's the toughest thing I've ever had to do. I go to bed at night hoping the next day brings me more peace and the next day I wake up thinking about her, and that's all I do until I go to bed. I suffer from separation anxiety as it is and this ordeal has sent me over the edge. I DO know that I did what was best for her. It's just soooooooooo hard! I wish there was a magical pill we could take to deal with these types of things!
Thank you all again! Hugs!

Hugs right back Lori, I think your a very special person to be able to do
what you've done. I hope you feel better soon.

Lori63 · 12-22-2009, 02:24 PM

After having read what I have going on here, and if anyone has questions before they answer, please feel free to ask. BUT, what I need to know is this: The lady that I gave Savannah to has opened her door to me to go and visit Savannah starting in a month to give her time to get acclimated to her new home and then I could go periodically to see her if I want or need to. She also said that she will keep me up to date on her health and let me know how she's doing. I'm fine with that and it gives me some peace knowing that it wasn't good-bye for good when I dropped her off on Saturday. Considering the fact that I've never been forced to do such a thing to one of my babies, I have no clue what would be best for me to do or what would be best for her. I am an emotional wreck at this time, of course, and I would love nothing more than to run to her and hug her and tell her I love her, but I have to question how she would handle seeing me again. What do you all think????? What if it were you and you had to do what I have done. Would you want to see them again when they were well and adjusted? I'm just so torn!!!!! I know that I am very emotional right now and once I get over this, I may feel differently but for now I want to see her!!! I would appreciate any feedback you can give me. Thank you all for your wonderful support!!!! Big hugs to you all!

Patti · 12-22-2009, 02:59 PM

Just for me, I think I would rather get updates from afar. I think it would be hard on her to see you and not go back with you. She may just be settling in and then see you and get upset. But hopefully someone who has been in your shoes will have a better idea. Hugs

BanditSocks2 · 12-22-2009, 03:03 PM

I can't begin to imagine the pain you are in, but the most important thing you have to keep telling yourself is that you did the most selfless thing in the world and gave the dog you love with all your heart to someone who can financially care for her. You should be so proud of yourself. There are so many people in your position who should do what you do but do not have the strength.

12-22-2009, 08:56 AM	#1
Lori63 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 34	Anxiety from parting with my baby! I am SUFFERING from a decision I had to make to part with one of my yorkies due to her failing health. I've had her for almost 13 yrs and for the last year and 1/2 she has had numerous problems with her bladder. She would pee in her box and lay in it while I was away from home working. I'd come home every night night to a wet dog, wet box and sometimes she would even poo in there to add to the mess. I would only be gone for 9 hrs...tops! If I left her out while I was gone, she would pee everywhere! This went on for quite a long time and then I began to realize that her urine had a nasty smell to it. That of cat urine........STRONG cat urine. I took her to the vet and he said she had a UTI. He put her on some meds for that and it seemed to help a little but not 100%. A month later I was right back to square one with her again. At the time I was working and not making a lot of money. 9.00 an hr, 3 dogs and high expenses for the area we live in. When I initially purchased these animals, I was married and my husband provided well for us. For the last 10 yrs tho, it's been on me solely and I have deemed it near impossible to handle alone. All of my animals have suffered along with myself on healthcare, but I have done my absolute best for them when push came to shove. Anyway, I took her back to the vet and he said she was probably going to be prone to UTI's and he put her back on the medicine for another round. No help! I took her back a month ago because she was dribbling pee everywhere and I would find her wet on one hip or the other. As far as acting sick, she always seemed in good spirits. I took her to the vet again and he ran a battery of tests on her but never found anything that was a cause for concern. He told me that she had an innie vagina and she was probably hoarding bacteria there because of it. He also said she had a high ph in her urine but 'some dogs just do'. She never got better even tho she took the meds he put her on. Nothing! Well, I have been on unemployment for the last 4-1/2 months and have run out of any chances of being able to care for her properly. What really baffles me is that you try to do what you can, they're sick and you know they are and try to get them help, yet the people you turn to for answers let you down!!! If I could've gotten the right answers I may have been able to keep her!! I ended up turning to the local shelter here for help finding her a home. I really never thought anyone would actually take her because of her age and her health, but I got a call from an older lady that had lost her yorkie 8 months ago. She said it left her with a hole in her heart that she needed to fill. I took my baby over there 2 days later to meet her and of course, she didn't want anything to do with her...or at least, very little. She was completely confused!! The lady wanted her to stay for a couple of days to see how things went and would let me know what she decided. At first I was happy for my little girl that she had found someone to love her and with the means to take care of her. But for the last 3 days I have been beating myself up horribly bad!!! I can't eat, or sleep or think straight. She's everywhere I look and in every thought that goes thru my head. I'd hate to guess how many tears I have shed since this began. I tried to do what was best for HER at my expense. It's what anyone should do when you're in a situation as I am in. I have 2 other dogs, a 14-1/2 yo yorkie and a 9 yo shih tzu. Both have ill health as well. My 15 yo has had a cough for a couple of months now and my shih tzu has dry eye and ear infections almost regularly. After she told me she would keep her, I really began having second thoughts, trying to figure out a way of taking care of her and the vet bills and told the lady. She said that she felt Savannah did not seem heathy at all to her, that she felt she had diabetes and that out of concern for the dog, she felt it in the best interest of the dog that she leave her there. She scheduled a vet appt for today at 2:15 for her to be seen and see what she could do to help her. She told me after about a month with her, and when Savannah gets aclimated to her new home, that I could come and see her, and continue to come and see her from time to time. I know this is what's best from a medical stand point, but I am suffering horribly due to this. She's in my soul!! I love and miss you Vanna!

12-22-2009, 12:00 PM	#4
Patti Donating YT 30K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 35,509 Blog Entries: 6	You did the right thing even though it is heartbreaking for you. One never knows what financial situations we will run in to in the future. I am fostering a pup right now and as much as I would love to keep her, as you know, the vet bills on 3 can be enormous and I just can't take on a 4th. You did everything you could and now this lady may be able to afford the cost of finding out what is wrong and any future bills. Hugs __________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html

12-22-2009, 12:34 PM	#5
Lori63 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 34	Many thanks! Wow! You all are GREAT supporters and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. All of your kindness and support is helping me in a tremendous way at trying to cope with what I did. I would never wish how I'm feeling on anyone because it's the toughest thing I've ever had to do. I go to bed at night hoping the next day brings me more peace and the next day I wake up thinking about her, and that's all I do until I go to bed. I suffer from separation anxiety as it is and this ordeal has sent me over the edge. I DO know that I did what was best for her. It's just soooooooooo hard! I wish there was a magical pill we could take to deal with these types of things! Thank you all again! Hugs!

12-22-2009, 02:24 PM	#8
Lori63 Yorkie Yakker Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Missouri Posts: 34	Question.....please someone give me an answer.. After having read what I have going on here, and if anyone has questions before they answer, please feel free to ask. BUT, what I need to know is this: The lady that I gave Savannah to has opened her door to me to go and visit Savannah starting in a month to give her time to get acclimated to her new home and then I could go periodically to see her if I want or need to. She also said that she will keep me up to date on her health and let me know how she's doing. I'm fine with that and it gives me some peace knowing that it wasn't good-bye for good when I dropped her off on Saturday. Considering the fact that I've never been forced to do such a thing to one of my babies, I have no clue what would be best for me to do or what would be best for her. I am an emotional wreck at this time, of course, and I would love nothing more than to run to her and hug her and tell her I love her, but I have to question how she would handle seeing me again. What do you all think????? What if it were you and you had to do what I have done. Would you want to see them again when they were well and adjusted? I'm just so torn!!!!! I know that I am very emotional right now and once I get over this, I may feel differently but for now I want to see her!!! I would appreciate any feedback you can give me. Thank you all for your wonderful support!!!! Big hugs to you all!

12-22-2009, 02:59 PM	#9
Patti Donating YT 30K Club Member Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Illinois Posts: 35,509 Blog Entries: 6	Just for me, I think I would rather get updates from afar. I think it would be hard on her to see you and not go back with you. She may just be settling in and then see you and get upset. But hopefully someone who has been in your shoes will have a better idea. Hugs __________________ Cali Pixie Roxie : RIP Nikki; RIP Maya;RIP my sweet Dixie girl 1/17/08 http://callipuppyscastle.bravehost.com/index.html

12-22-2009, 11:04 AM	#2
addevo Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Alexandria, VA, USA (near Washington, DC) Posts: 312	I am so sorry for your loss, but I really admire you for putting your own emotions aside for the good of your little companion. It was a gut wrenching decision, but you did what was best for Savannah. You didn't abandon her, you have given her a chance at a healthy, pain free life. (UTI's can be very painful and since your vet couldn't figure out what she needed, hopefully a new one will be able to help her). And you've done a wonderful thing for her new owner, she desperately needed a little one to dote on. It takes a lot of LOVE and STRENGTH to do what you did. Please don't beat yourself up, most people won't face up to a situation head-on and do the right thing the way you have. You've had a tough time lately, but you have taken a huge step forward in finding the right home for your baby. You're right, it's extremely difficult to find adopters for older, ailing dogs. The fact that you did is "a sign" that you made the right decision. Re-read "The Serenity Prayer" with that in mind. I would caution you on going to visit Savannah, though. It will confuse her to see you, and will set back any adjustments she has made to her new home. Also, it will re-open alot of wounds for you. Perhaps the new owner could send you email updates and/or pictures so that you can take comfort in knowing she is healthy and well cared for. Wishing you all the best.

12-22-2009, 11:20 AM	#3
ARCHIE No Longer A Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: NEW YORK Posts: 16,218	Your said it yourself, "you tried doing what's best for her" and you did. Really you did. What are the chances of a 13yr old getting adopted? Yours did. That's amazing in itself. Things happen for a reason I believe and what you wanted for your girl was a new home and proper health care. Both now have been provided. I know your heart is breaking. How could it not after 13yrs of being together. Times change, lives change and this has happened to you. Know deep in your heart you gave up something you love more than anything all because you wanted what's best for it. That's being unselfish and shows just how much love you had in your heart for her. I can't imagine such a thing and pray I never have to make that decision but you never know from one day to the next. I hope your broken heart heals soon. Your girl will adjust given time. Please don't feel guilty in anyway. You did what you had to do and I admire you for doing it. Take care of yourself and I hope things get better for you. Just remember you gave her what you wanted for her. Your story breaks my heart. Hugs,

12-22-2009, 12:44 PM	#6
JeanieK Donating YT 12K Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Council Bluffs Iowa Posts: 12,552	Take comfort that this lady can afford to give her the medical care that she needs. It sounds like you still have a lot to deal with, with your other two. You did a very unselfish thing.

12-22-2009, 03:03 PM	#10
BanditSocks2 YT 1000 Club Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Crofton, MD, USA Posts: 1,522	I can't begin to imagine the pain you are in, but the most important thing you have to keep telling yourself is that you did the most selfless thing in the world and gave the dog you love with all your heart to someone who can financially care for her. You should be so proud of yourself. There are so many people in your position who should do what you do but do not have the strength.