Sometimes, a caregiver that is soooo close to the illness, such as a family member, feels like they can do this all by themselves, with professional expertise, readily available on the peripheri. Sometimes they feel like they are "coming up short" as a caregiver to their loved one, if they seek help with the activities of daily living. Nothing is further from the truth...remember, even professional staff, nurses, doctors, therapists, etc, work 8 - 12 hour shifts, 3 - 5 days a week....and they get weekends and vacation time off. As the sole caregiver to a loved one, you do not get those much needed intermissions and breaks, NECESSARY AND ESSENTIAL for the caregiver to maintain their OWN sense of well being and emotional stability....you are "on" 24/7...no breaks, no rejuvinating, no time off, no emotional rebuilding.....devoted caregivers are like a golden goblet....priceless and capable of holding a huge amount, giving a huge amount, but even this goblet is not bottomless....it gives up just so much before it is dry, empty....Hospice and the dedicated staff that work for a good hospice, are absolutely invaluable to caregivers, as well as the patient. Patti, please find you a good hospice and allow these people to help you "work the magic"...the miracles, that Ken and you BOTH need at this time. God bless you both and give you the strength and wisdom and courage to get you through this very challenging time.

Thinking of you and Ken, and hoping he's having good days and is eating better....

Prayers continue for you and Ken.

Thanks. Ken had a blood transfusion yesterday as his blood counts were bad the day before. I had hoped he would feel better but he doesn't. His PA has been out this week, she is suppossed to call me today or tomorrow, but I don't think there is much that they can do. He just wont eat. He tells me he is going to be turning it around soon and I tell him time isn't on his side. I mentioned Hospice as a way to get some help for us both and he said No. We see his oncologist next Wednesday and I am going to be very straight forward on finding out why he isn't eating. I don't want anymore medicines he won't take and them telling me his cancer is stable in the lung. How do they know it's not everywhere else. No complete scans have been done since August. I appreciate your concern and prayers.

Praying for Ken... and you...

Patti, you and Ken are in my prayers daily. I'm so sorry for everything you both are going through. I know it's been a long, hard road to travel. Please let us know how the visit with the oncologist goes next Wednesday. ((hugs))

Praying for you and Ken.

Sending hugs and prayers for you and Ken, Patti.

Wow so frustrating. I think of you often and pray he would start eating. Sending hugs and prayers.

Patti Dear, Please let the PA know if you have certain needs there to help you care for Ken. Hospital bed really has helped me in caring for Jack, the insurances helped me to get it. Patti it makes it easier to get someone into sitting up position getting one in and out of bed, also bed bathing, head and foot adjustngs help to make one bit more comfy. if you don't have one please ask the PA right away for it, you will appreciate having one to help you take care of Ken.
Does Ken have a walker with the seat?

Your on my mind so much throughout each and every day, lifting you, Ken in all my prayers.. It is the hardest time in life to have a love one going through so much and not being able to change what is happening. Thank God for the strength HE provides and carrying us all through whatever this ole life deals us.

Hugs and love from us both,
Patti,and Jack

When my Dad was ill, the doctor recommended hospice care. My Dad came to live with us. A hospital bed, eggshell padding (for no bedsores), commode, walker, pads etc. were all delivered to us at no charge (my Dad had medicare insurance). Anything we needed was delivered. I can't remember all of the items. We were also able to have an aide come if we wanted. I think it was 4 days a week. But, Daddy only wanted me, so no aide. The nurse would come and check on him and also his doctor. I'm praying for you and Ken.

Thinking and praying for you both!

thinking of you both

Patti, I am so sorry to hear Ken's lack of appetite is continuing. I believe your plan to press the doctors on the issue is a good one. When my mother's cancer spread throughout her body, she still had enough of an appetite. She was a slim woman to begin with and never a big eater, but she continued to drink tea and she still had a sweet tooth. I pray Ken will start eating.

You both remain in my thoughts and prayers.


{{{{hugs}}}}