Renal failure

[JamieP]

Yorkie Talkers,

I posted back in November after I'd lost one yorkie to renal failure and had found out that my other yorkie, my oldest, was also failing just days after my other one had been put to sleep.
Well, surprisingly, Meg pulled through her last ordeal and I had another 6 months with her. She is still here, but I was told after 2 weeks of her being and feeling ill that she was again in renal failure.
I took her for a check up a little over a week ago and after they drew blood and checked her numbers, they had all gone down. Her fluids had helped to combat the disease!! She wasn't 100% but I did get another 6 months out of her. I took her to the vet yesterday and they ran her numbers again and all have gone back where they were and a little higher. She isn't throwing up and hasn't for 2 days, but she does have the poops which is black and looks like car oil. She can just lay there and poo that out. She still takes water and with the help of an appetite stimulant the vet gave her yesterday, she ate some ham last night. Fearing that she wouldn't make it through the weekend, I called my vet last night and she's going to call me this morning to see if i want to put her to sleep today. She told me she would make it thru the weekend but not much past that. I don't want her to suffer but i would like to get a few more days to spend with her. I feel guilty hanging onto her like this, but I feel I'm holding out in the hopes that she makes another turn around like she did 6 months ago. My vet told me that she had never seen a dog that was down like she was last time make such a turn around. She said she was shocked and amazed! Like i said, she is drinking and will go out to pee with my help. Everything is as it was 6 months ago.......AGAIN. I know I can't keep her forever, but am I wrong to want her here, even in this state, for another few days? My vet said she's not in pain, just a queasy tummy. She is still giving me lovin....licking my entire face for as long as she wants!!!! But she just lays on her pallet beside me sleeping most of the time. Any advice you all can give me I would really appreciate. I know I'm just prolonging my agony which is selfish, i know! But I can't help but feel I have hope! She did this before. Everyone keeps saying I'll know when it's time and though I feel in my heart that she needs to be set free, my heart also tells me to take what time I have left with her...so I'm torn.

[Sammy Mommy]

I have tears in my eyes reading this. My Sammy also has renal failure. I would say that if Meg isn't in any pain, then spend a few more days with her. You will know in your heart when it is time to say good bye. Sending you hugs and prayers during this difficult time.

[Patti]

I am so sorry. I lost 2 to renal failure one a puppy and one was almost 13. I know in the end they were very sick and would not get up or eat. I knew then it was time. Hopefully she will let you know when she has had enough. If she is nauseous all the time and goes into uremic poisoning they are no longer enjoying life. The hardest and kindest thing we can do for them is to make that decision. I hope you get a few more days and that her remaining days are peaceful. Hugs

[smepperson]

Hi Jamie,

I am so sorry you are going through this. We just lost our darling of 14 years from complications of renal failure in October. They gave Gizzy 2 wks to 2 months and we were able to keep him another 7 mos. His initial creatinine was 10.9 and BUN was 136. Super high and we almost lost him from negligence ( our vet of 5 years gave us a bag of sub-q, one lesson and sent us on our way). Needless to say we did not listen and all three of us worked our butts off to keep him as long as possible.

That said, please go to yahoo groups - K9 Kidney. Facebook - CRF Dogs. Both of these groups are great support and have excellent suggestions for diet, etc. Also DogAware.com: Diet & Health Info for Man's Best Friend has tons of info on kidney failure and it's maintenance.

The main thing is to keep the phosphorous down, the anemia in check and lower that BUN. BUN is lowered with fluids as you know. We kept a journal of how much water Giz was taking in per day and made sure he had above the recommended amount every day. We had to syringe water - he would not drink from his dish - and we accounted for every drop. He was so very good about it. We also hand fed - k/d, egg whites for the protein (no protein is not bad for crf dogs) and kept an account of every morsel of food in his journal as well. Vomiting can be controlled with carafate. Pet Tinic is great for the anemia. Aluminum Hydroxide powder gel (amount specified by the vet) added to food can help lower phosphorous levels - it is better than tums because tums has too much calcium after a certain point. Pepcid AC is usually given to maintain the tummy.

I know this is a lot of information. I feel your desperation. I was there. I refused to give up. Gizmo was right there with me every step of the way, as was my hubby. Yes there are things you can do but it is a tough ride. So many ups and downs but worth every bump in the road. Giz actually had more good days than bad once we had him stabilized. He even played and did a bit of chasing again for a while. I must warn you that the end is not easy ~ I had a very difficult time letting go. I think he was ready a week before I did let go but he hung on for me. He was an amazing being. It sounds as though your little one is amazing as well. If she is still kissing, eating etc. it sounds like you still have some time with her. Please check out the links I provided and feel free to PM me if you would like.

Finally, only you and your baby know for sure what's happening with her. Enjoy every moment. Again, I am so sorry you have to go through this but you are not alone. Love, Light and Healing to you both.

[BabyGirl Rosie]

I have not had any experience with this at all. However, please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[111lily222]

Oh I feel your pain and desperation in your post, I am soo sorry you are going through this. I know what your going through as my Brody also had renal failure. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

[JamieP]

Hello to all that have followed this. Sadly, I had to let Meg go at 3:40 yesterday evening. My heart is torn apart right now and I'm crying as I write this. She was with me every minute of the day unless I was out running errands. If I was home, she was in the same room (usually had a pallet on the sofa) when I was in the living room and when I got ready for bed, she was carried to her comfy feather pillow bed on my bed. We slept together for the biggest majority of her life unless she was having bladder or poopie troubles and then she either was on a pallet on the floor in my room or one in the kitchen. At times I feel as though I'm ready to lose my mind dealing with this. I've tried to concentrate on the good memories of her and there were plenty, but my mind takes over leaving me with the intense feeling of sadness and loneliness of her not being here anymore. I feel like I could die from this pain. I don't know how to stop feeling this way. I can't even function. I've never handled these things, have always mourned losses irrationally. So, just wanted you all to know and thank you to all who responded with your wonderful thoughts and ideas! Hugs to all... If any of you are praying people, please pray for my strength in dealing with this.

[ladyjane]

I am so sorry. I know from experience that no words really will make it better. We all have to go through that awful grieving process.
Time will make it better and it will be easier to focus on the good memories. You just need to allow yourself to feel these feelings....not easy, I know.
You did a loving thing for Meg and she is no longer suffering. She will be watching over you until you one day meet again at the Bridge.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

[Sammy Mommy]

I'm so very sorry. It hurts so bad because you loved and were loved by Meg so very much. Sending prayers to heal your broken heart.

[lisaly]

My heart goes out to you on the loss of your baby. The loss feels unbearable but Meg's love will sustain you through this difficult time. The pain will ease in time, and love does last forever. I am deeply sorry for your loss. I understand and care.

[lady40jay]

I'm so sorry. I lost my precious Bichon girl, Lacy, almost a year ago and I know how much it hurts. That is the worst and hardest decision to have to make, but we do it because we love them. May God bless and give your heart comfort.

Jeanette

[manolos mom]

I am so very sorry for your loss

[Micah my love]

I am so sorry my heart hurts for you