Worried about Layla

[Britster]

OMG, I just read thru this entire thread, and I am totally at a loss for words. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through right now but you are sooo positive and I think that's a *great* way to be during all of this. Your energy will also affect Layla - I truly believe that. I am so hoping for the best for you guys and I will be thinking of you all tonight, tomorrow, and the next day, and the next week, and... you get the picture! I'm just so sorry to hear of this.

[linz06]

Last night we visited Layla and she was so awake and happy! She gave us kisses all over! Her IV was gone and her leg was pretty bruised, but she was moved out of ICU yesterday. We brought her some kibble and some treats, as well as a few toys from home and a shirt I had slept in since the night she got this way...

First of all, when she smelled the treats, she almost dragged herself right off my legs to get to them! She's still pretty shaky standing on her front legs, and doesn't realize she'll fall over when she lifts one leg. But we managed to feed her a couple of kibbles and a treat. After about the first hour, I switched her to her daddy's lap and she laid down for a bit but started crying. We helped her up and she dragged herself right back over to mommy's lap and collapsed in my arms.

As she was laying there, Scott started playing with her back feet, and she was watching him. When he squeezed, she had a very pronounced movement of pulling her leg back away from him. She continued to do that while she watched. I don't know if that's still considered 100% reflex, but the movements the day before were just very slight twitches of her leg or tail. She soon turned her head away from us and started to fall asleep, and the only reflexes we got at that point were again just twitches of her thigh and tail.

The physical therapy person talked to us and let us know she started Layla's first session of acupuncture yesterday, and that it was very easy because she could work the needles in quite hard and Layla can't feel a thing past her shoulders. She also did electroacupuncture from the area of her neck to her tail and Layla fell asleep She said she was dreaming because her breathing was different and when she woke up it went back to normal

After our two hour visit, we put her on the floor for a bit. Scott lifted up her back end a little and she started moving her front paws. I had an idea so I took the t-shirt we brought, rolled it up, and put it just in front of her back legs and lifted. Wow! As soon as that back end was off the ground, she was motoring all over the place! It made me so happy to see her just like a regular dog, except with her back feet dragging on the ground.

The doctor told us that she would be able to come home Saturday if we're ready. And we're not sure that we're ready yet. I'm scared that I will not be able to give her as much care as she is getting there. She wants to see Layla at least 3 times a week for physical therapy but as of right now she's always watched and gets physical therapy EVERY DAY. I'm scared that I won't be able to express her or I won't do it right, and what if she cries at night because she wants on the bed? Will she cry if she wants to change sleeping positions? I just want her in the best care possible and I don't have enough confidence in myself yet.

Oh and other good news is that it's not a bad sign that she's not getting better yet, but it's a good sign that she's not any worse. With a paralyzation as severe as hers, they are expecting to see improvement in the next 4 weeks if any will occur. And if it does, it will probably be near the end of 4 weeks. There's still a 50% chance.

Last night I had a very vivid dream that Layla just got up and walked around the house. When I woke up I was so excited to see my miracle baby, and it took a few minutes to realize it wasn't real. And I cried.

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by linz06

Just a side note... Layla hates having baths. On Sunday night we were going to give her a bath but we got pretty busy. I planned to give her a bath Monday night instead and I would just brush her hair out Sunday night, but she seemed so pitiful that I didn't even try. Then of course, Monday was the vet, and yesterday was surgery. This morning I was thinking to myself, "That has to be the best excuse to get out of bathtime ever"

LOL cute! You have a great attitude and I know Layla will make a full recovery. Adding my thoughts and prayers to everyone elses. (((HUGS)))

[linz06]

I don't feel like I have a great attitude. Layla will be okay in a cart, but I don't WANT her in a cart. I want her to be her old self again but I know she will never be. All I ask is that she can walk, not even walk as well as normal, but walk in general, and to be able to pee and poop on her own. If she can get that far I will be the happiest person in the world. I am just so discouraged when they call daily to tell me "She has made no progress"

[fullmoonyorkies]

Dear Lindsey, Scott and Layla...we are sending positive thoughts and prayers your way too. Your love for Layla shows in every heartfelt post. We are wishing for the best possible outcome for you! Ingrid (Crickett * Lancelot * Sassy * Angel)

[celstu1]

Linz,
Here is another miracle story for you. My mom has a 4.5lbs Yorkie poo that some guy at the pet store just gave her one day. My mom brought her shih tzu in to be groomed and saw this guy holding this tiny black dog and my mom said she just fell in love. She totally went up to the guy and asked to hold the dog. The guy let her and my mom told the guy she was in love. The guy said "Take her. My wife left me and left me with 3 dogs and I can't give her the attention she needs, you can HAVE her." So my mom paid for the groom and the guy came by later with her very few possessions (no toys, no treats) and that was it, mom had a new dog. It was a sad situation because this baby was neglected, not abused, just ignored. She was scared and shaky.

Mom and her hubby worked hard to socialize her and get her used to things. She was coming along sooo nicely and one day my stepfather took the 2 dogs for a walk and a big dog came out of nowhere and attacked her. My stepfather got her away from the dog and they rushed her to the vet. She was rushed into surgery immediately. they found that the bigger dog shattered her hind leg from the hip down, punctured her belly and broke her spine. The vets thought there was no way she would make it through surgery, but she did. Then they said she had a really high chance of getting septic from the belly wound and dying, she didn't. THEN they said she would maybe walk again but would never climb stairs or jump on the couch again. My mom took her for 2 months of physical therapy 4x a week. Swim with her and she had to go on a doggy treadmill.

Welll... this little girl, when she walks she occasionally has this limp that it looks like her leg rotates out instead of back and forth.. but she does EVERYTHING she used to do. I mean runs up stairs, jumps on the couch.. nothing stops her. She is all over the place! She is a little miracle! She spent the first year of her life neglected, then found a good loving home only to be attacked and nearly killed before she was 1.5 years old. What a sad sad life for this little one. Today she is happy, healthy and runs, walks, jumps, plays (never had toys before my mom), eats treats (she never had them before my mom) and is generally spoiled rotten and much loved!

Keep your prayers going for Layla!

[spiritwings1202]

God sometimes gives us dreams of hope and I believe that your dream was a gift from God and Layla is going to improove. I am praying that God gives you that dream and makes it a reality!

[linz06]

Thank you SO much.

If I had a car at work, I wouldn't be here right now. My boyfriend and I carpool and he drops me off first. I just had to run to the bathroom and I sat in a stall and completely broke down. I just don't know what to do. I have already run out of kleenex on my desk from trying to discreetly cry, although I know it's not discreet at all when I'm facing a hallway that everyone uses.

I am being asked to make decisions for Layla and I don't KNOW what the best option will be and I don't KNOW what the outcome will be. Maybe she's stressed out being there and it's hindering her healing. Maybe she won't get as good of care at home. Maybe we won't do things the right way. But maybe she'll be happier.

I stayed at my grandma's house last night and she packed me a huge lunch to eat, and in this lunch is baby carrots which are Layla's favorites and I can't even give her the last bite

[linz06]

Originally Posted by spiritwings1202

God sometimes gives us dreams of hope and I believe that your dream was a gift from God and Layla is going to improove. I am praying that God gives you that dream and makes it a reality!

I asked God for a sign yesterday and I was hoping for a sign of improvement with Layla but she was the same, no further sensations... When she pulled her leg away from Scott, he said "How's that for a sign?" but it turns out just to be reflex... But do you think the dream was the sign? I know these injuries take time to heal. My faith is wavering because I feel like I'm asking God for so much all the time and I never feel the connection and I don't feel like I'm being heard. I used to feel close to God and since I became an adult I've done my own thing and kept my distance, and now I feel like I can't connect again. And now I need it the most. I am praying day and night and I've gone so far as to submit Layla's story to every prayer request website I can find, and asking all my friends to send prayers and positive thoughts.

[AddieandMiaMom]

Linz, you have been positive even if you don't believe it. Of course you're going to wonder, worry and doubt, any of us in your situation would. Just keep the positives in the forefront if you can.

You don't always get the signs when you want them, but you will get signs. I think her movements can be a sign, even if the vet says it's only reflex. Her being awake and happy should definitely be a sign! How many people who are in the hospital do you know that are happy?

I pray every day for God to give Layla the strength to heal, the vet and staff the strength to make the right decisions to help her heal, and you and Scott the strength to endure this trial and follow His path.

[WinstonMom]

Lindsey,
It is great to hear that Layla was so much better yesterday and she will be even better today. They are going to teach you how to look after your baby at home and make sure you are confident about her care before they send you home. They are not just going to hand you your baby and send you on your way. Layla is showing that she has a feisty spirit and she is going to work very hard to get better. She is showing you baby steps of improvement now and it sounds like her caregivers at the vet college are feeling more confident about her prognosis. Remember, your dream of Layla walking was indeed your "sign".

[linz06]

Thank you all so much for the support. I know that I have to just believe that God is working on her, and spinal injuries take time and she won't be better in just a few days, she may not show any improvement for weeks. Believe it's happening, and it will happen.

So they gave her a 50% chance... that 50% has to depend on whatever study was done. Were any of those dogs older than Layla? It's pretty rare for it to happen to a dog so young, in a breed where it's not a big concern! Maybe the 50% who couldn't end up walking were larger dogs with more weight to support, or long dogs like dachsunds with more stress on their backs. Layla is so young and so healthy and active, and I just need to believe that all of that is going to get her in the 50% that will regain use of her legs!

The vet said there are miracle stories out there, but they are rare. Layla walking doesn't have to be a miracle, she could still be in the statistic! She could still be in the good 50%!

We have been so lucky lately and I just know that God is looking out for us a little bit. We had to do this surgery, and it's pretty apparent that we were meant to have this surgery done because it happened on the one day we had the money to do it. Is that just a coincidence? Is it coincidence that we just found our DREAM HOUSE when we weren't even looking, when nobody had put an offer on it and it was for sale for 7 months, and they took our offer? And then our condo sold for asking price the DAY it was listed? We had a couple of weeks to settle in to our new house when Layla went down on the DAY I got the condo profit? If we still lived in the condo I could not afford it. Everything happens for a reason. If all of this had to happen, Layla had to have the surgery to get better. So she WILL get better. It wouldn't be for nothing. It just makes sense in my head.

[celstu1]

Linz,
I think you are over thinking it, or thinking way too far ahead. I think Layla will do no better any where else than with you. I think you will get the hang of taking care of her. You will do what needs to be done and you will give her the love, warmth and healing strength of your presence. I know this is so scary and stressful and emotionally draining when you look at the BIG picture. Try by looking at the small pictures, her coming home and how you will care for her. (thats it. not the future care, just the NOW care.) Then, her recovering from the surgery... no matter what may or may not happen in the future, right now she has to recover from the trauma to her little body from the surgery only. Don't think about whether she will walk or potty again, right now. Just think about how she will need a week or two to recover from the invasion to her little body. She needs you and you are doing an AWESOME job taking care of her. You CAN bring her home and YOU CAN care for her the BEST.

AFTER all that is behind you, then get through each physical therapy session. KNOW that right now she's not going to JUMP up and RUN to you. But don't think that she might never. Just think, right now. Its so much less overwhelming to your emotions to deal with the here and now, you can't predict the future. Miss Layla is sooooooo lucky to have you as her mommy. Keep her safe, warm and close to you. Pray for her and keep working with her. Miracles happen, but as you have read, they usually come with love, dedication and work. I have so much faith in you and your abilities.

[linz06]

Thank you so much, you're making me get teary again. I love her more than anything and I just want the best for her. I have not always given her the best and if I could go back and redo her whole life I would take every moment I ignored her or decided to leave her at home so I could do something else, I would change it all. She deserves the world and when she comes back to me I will give her the world.

[celstu1]

Originally Posted by linz06

Thank you so much, you're making me get teary again. I love her more than anything and I just want the best for her. I have not always given her the best and if I could go back and redo her whole life I would take every moment I ignored her or decided to leave her at home so I could do something else, I would change it all. She deserves the world and when she comes back to me I will give her the world.

That is unrealistic, don't put that kind of guilt and stress on yourself. We all know Yorkies and we'd get nothing done EVER if we catered to them. I know for a fact that Dexter (my little guy) would lay ON my lap alllll day long day after day if I let him. But then we'd both be homeless, starving and not have a clean pair of socks to wear! Plus mom would be a grouch with major cabin fever! LOL You do your best and that's plenty to make Miss Layla love you so much! By the way, sometimes leaving them at home IS the best you can do for them. I know that I'd have no life and no friends left if I took my dogs everywhere with me. Cut yourself some slack sweetie!