What if . . ?
 

What if . . we all just set our frustrations and opinions aside for once and just answer the OP questions ?

What if . . we care so much about the animal in question and only wrote what we know and guided them in the right direction or only answered what is asked of us ?

What if . . . just for once when someone comes to us for our help and those of us who have the answers give them freely and those of you who only have harsh, unkind, opinionated, judgmental words to say Just Dont !!

Too many time I have seen members leave YT because of the harsh opinions of other member. They go away without the knowledge and information they came here for. Information that could have make a deference. I know because I was also judged when I first came to YT, and It frustrates the hell out of me. There are so many times when members will judge others so harshly but do nothing to help them.

I feel good when I log off at the end of the day knowing that I was able to help someone. That when I come here I can offer my experiences as a pet owner and yes a breeder to those who need it. I try very hard to leave my opinions to myself unless asked. I am also very happy to take from YT member the knowledge that I have gathered during my time here on YT and I can admit I learn something new every day.

So, why is it so hard to give other that same respect and knowledge that they seek when they come to us for our help ?

Bc most of the time people come on here with a yorkie lethargic, with a broken leg, diarrhea, etc asking us for advice and when we tell them to go to the vet, they give us excuses.

Many times people come on here looking for free advice, and not wanting to pay for the services of a vet.

This is one of the largest yorkie sites online. If they "left" YT, I'm sure they are still reading, unless I hope they finally did go to the vet. If you read enough, you will learn, whether it be here or otherwise.

What if...
people actually spayed and neutered their pets like they're supposed to?
people took their dogs to the vet when something was wrong instead of asking strangers on an online forum?
stopped breeding just for the money or bc their dog is cute?
they wanted to start breeding actually did research and shadowed a respected breeder first?

I think this site would run a lot smoother (no hurt feelings, etc.) if people remembered they're on a site of primarily yorkie owners/breeders & not many, if any:confused: vets, dieticians, etc.

When someone asks me a question anywhere & I don't have the exact scientific explanation/answer I say "well I would... or would not..." Then it's my opinion, either based on what I've done, experienced or whatever & it's up to the person to value what I offer or not. Otherwise I think the OP should address someone on a one on one basis to hear what they want to hear.

Just like at work or school or the grocery store, everyone can answer the same question differently-nice, rude, short, sweet. Part of learning is learning to deal with the different ways you may be taught something. Of course I try to give & get respect like the next person but some subjects will be touchy depending on someones passion & that has to be expected when you're dealing with such a large group.

:thumbup:;):thumbup:

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More yorkies would be saved and have a better chance at life and health.

:thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thum bup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

I don't think it is about judging, it is about doing what is right for the dog. When an OP asks a question, the answers given are given for the benefit of the community at large and any other person who happens upon the thread. What if all the knowledgeable members left because said members were tired of being told they are judgmental or bullying?

That would be wonderful, new members could finally get decent answers to their questions, like:

Original Post:
"my dog is throwing up, having bloody stool, and can barely keep his head up, what do I do?"
Non-Bully Answer:
Stay home, maybe you will be a lucky one and the dog will turn around on its own, best of luck to you, regardless of what happens you will have saved some money".

Original Post:
"OMG! I am so excited I found a cute little morkiepoo today, a nice lady was selling them in the Wal-Mart parking lot and she said she is the BEST breeder and really really loves dogs and they are raised in the best environment".
Non-Bully Answer:
"OMG! Congrats! I am sure your new baby is SOOOO adorable, this lady sounds like a great breeder she was so nice to meet people in the Wal-Mart parking lot that is so convenient."

:)

I guess I'm one of the few that agrees with the OP. It would seem we could educate, exhort, warn, even use a strong tone when we see some of the questions and issues that often come up, without being rude. I've never been the recipient of anything harsh, but I've sure seen it and I often get a negative vibe. Often when one respondent comes down hard on a questioner, others pile on rather than adding anything useful. There's an old saying that you can catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar and I think it holds true here. Most people stop listening when they feel they're getting yelled at.

I agree that often you just want to wring the person's neck who's asking the question but what good does that do? It's clear that a lot of people don't know what they're getting into when they got a yorkie, don't have the money needed to properly care for them, etc., but by the time they come here they've already gotten the dog so we want them to learn, don't we?

I'm a relative newbie (5 months) and have learned a lot here and enjoyed stories, and pictures, but you can be sure I'll never ask a hard question. Fortunately I have a great breeder and great vet to go to, thank goodness. This can be an intimidating place.

I am sorry but I don't think it is intimidating at all. Granted, sometimes I don't get the answer I want to hear. However, I can always guarantee it is the answer that is in the best interest of my girls. If we are truly posting to find out what to do then we need to understand that each person is an individual and will all have different opinions. Like it or not, opinions are opinions. That is what a forum is about. Maybe I am more "thick skinned" than others. But if "bullying" me (as some of you think) means saving one of my girls life than so be it. Bully away when it comes to me and my girls.

What if... we all worried more about the way we responded individually to posts rather than trying to be the hall monitors controlling everyone elses ...

What if ... we realized that people will have differences of opinions, different ideas and different ways of expressing them.

What if... we grew up enough to realize that someone having a different opinion or way of dealing with/saying something than you is NOT a form of bullying...but telling someone they don't have the right or aren't welcome to state their opinion IS...

What if...we remembered that the internet is never a substitute for the hands on examination of a qualified professional (be it vet, behaviorist or breeding mentor.)

What if... we remembered that only the Admin and Mods have any right to tell another member that their response was rude or out of line.

What if... we all felt free to not only express our thoughts and opinions in the manner that best reflects our beliefs without fear of reprisal from the polite police...and, in addition, take or leave the advice that is given here in accordance to our own values...

Just a thought.

This is exactly how I feel. If Princess is hurt, sick, etc. the last thing I'm worried about is getting my feelings hurt. I hope to always take advice to heart, but with a grain of salt as well. Maybe not do exactly what's suggested if I'm not comfortable but a post may lead to another idea, etc. Also, if I have a question that may be a "dumb" one I'll google it first to see if it's even worth posting about.

I don't think you are one of the few. I think there a lot of people who agree with the OP and a lot of people are someplace inbetween what might be deemed as more judgemental or direct posters.

I get why some people are strong in their posts. I also agree that I think a softer touch - and no a softer touch does NOT have to equal a stupid response or ignoring the question and pretending it's not serious - could garner a lot better result. T. Ford does it very well. Many of the people on here do.

That's my opinion. And nobody has to agree with it. Disagree with it all you want. Tell my why or don't.

What I don't think is right however is telling me I shouldn't say I disagree with something.

And I also don't think people need to call people names when they do. Whether it be calling someone a "bully" or "polite police." You can. But again, it's not necessary and what does it really get you?

And last in regard to the OP's post - What's wrong with posing to a community that we think differently? Maybe we start thinking differently - or maybe we don't and we reaffirm why we do what we do, but how can her post be a bad thing?

I appreciate most of the posters at YT very much and even the ones without a "soft" touch. I hope however there's room for the "softer" responders too?

Okay I've said more than my two cents. :D

I didn't read all the opinions but a few, great all around.
I hear what the OP is saying, BUT you have to have thick skin to be a part of ANY online forum.

People come on here asking about how to breed their mutt, unpapered dog, or etc. We tell them sorry we're not going to tell you anything but DONT DO IT and get the dog spayed. Then when the person refuses to listen and say stuff like "well's she/he is an AMAZING dog, so cute, so loving, so smart, all my family and friends want a puppy from her" then of course ignorance just turns into stupids and refusal to take the advice already give and YES we get upset.

I think the members who ask about breeding their mutt/unpapered/unproven dogs should get honest respones, not help with how to breed.

That goes for any health issues too or people who ask for good breeder info yet buy from a byb anyways!! A lot of time good advice is given on top of "go to a vet now" comments. Yet for some reason half the time the poster ignores it.

If the posters listened to the GREAT advice from so many long time yorkie lovers there would be less hostility and less leaving.

Amen, amen, amen, amen, amen, amen!

There are some very good points in your responses to my what if questions. I am pleased that the conversation has been very civil and quite pleasant. Which is very nice to see !

Yes, I agree you do need to have thick skin.... but most importantly a kind heart !

I get what you are saying when it comes to taking a sick animal to the vet. Some people myself included just need some input on the minor things. That I am sure the responses can be helpful to others who have pets experiencing the same things. So, why not ask if the responses will help provide information to another member. Sometime members thing that the OP asking the question instead of rushing to the vet is a form of neglect, which is not always the case. So, regardless of what some of you think. I myself, will continue to ask my question and hope for well informative replies.

Another What if questions that I have would be:

What if instead of the criticism of an OP for asking about whelping or other related questions we just help them for the sake of the expected mother and unborn litter ? (I'm not referring to a "how to" breeding questions but after the fact)

Regardless of the circumstances of how the pregnancy occurred. Face it, not everyone has the means to spade or neuter their animals which leads to (unplanned, un-expected , oops or whatever) It's a done deal, It happens. Now what ?

Well you find the answers and worry about a solution later. Seems irresponsible yes I know, I agree. Some people just are not aware of what happens during a heat or for what ever reason choose to not educate them selves on the matter.

But, do you ever wonder what the outcome was when an OP's question goes unanswered? I sure do...

Did they just wing it ?
Did they find the answers ?
Was the mother cared for properly ?
Did they seek help from a veterinarian ?
How are the mother and pups doing ?

I feel that when I come across a member in need of answers What ever the situation may be. That " I " should be as helpful as I can. . Whether from my own experiences or links to other informative site for the OP to get the information from. Maybe thats just me. I see no harm in doing so. What I do see is sometimes not all that nice.

As a member of YT it is defiantly a Give and Take situation !!

If a person does not have the means to spay or neuter a pup, they surely need to find a way quick, fast and in a hurry before it is too late to spay the pregnant female. Having a litter of puppies is not a cheap adventure....and horribly expensive if a c-section is needed.

If a person can't afford to spay or neuter their dog, maybe they shouldn't have one.

The fact is that not everyone who has a pet, should have a pet. Just bc the can, doesn't mean they should. And even some who can't (like the ads on Craigslist begging for a free yorkie bc they are too expensive and can't afford to buy one?), still think it's their right to have one. You don't see me going into a Mercedes dealership and begging them for a free car bc I can't afford one but I want one really bad. :rolleyes:

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Oh, I totally agree with you. I just chose not to go there...but hey, since you have, then so am I.

If they don't have the means to spay or neuter, FHA shouldn't it also be assumed that they don't have the means to properly vet the dog? After all, routine care is expensive. Testing and taking care of a dog during whelping is expensive. An emergency c-section is expensive. Vetting new pups is expensive. A couple of hundred dollars for a spy/neuter is the cheapest variable in this equation.

It really bothers me when we get these "you're being meeeeaaannnn" whines when someone doesn't agree with the response so done is getting. Tough. If you don't like it and aren't mature enough to handle a dissenting opinion, then it's your problem and not mine.

Again, if you want to give advice to someone, then do it. But don't try to tell everyone else how and what they should post.

That's right! :thumbup:

WTH??? It is part of the basic costs of dog ownership to be expected within the first year....just like an initial exam, puppy shots, rabies shot, fecal test, heartworm medicine & flea protection. Makes you wonder if these poor dogs that aren't getting fixed are getting the rest of the medical care they need....my guess would be no and they are probably the same people that post here and attempt to get a diagnosis from lay people based on their description of the problem, rather than pay to have their pup seen by a vet.

Ok, I don't know what the heck happened to my post. FHA should have been that. Spy was meant to be spay...

Guess I should double check before hitting enter on my phone in order to prevent the auto correct from taking over. **blushing**

At least spy does not indicate a shovel being used. :p

That is not a fair statement, because I take very good care of all four of my dogs (annual shots, checkups, heartworm med all of that) and I am one of those people who will ask ! If something is troubling me about my dogs behavior why shouldn't I be able to come on YT and ask a question without being labeled a non caring, irresponcible pet owner.

I don't think it is the asking that she is talking about. I think it is when the members give responses such as your pup needs to see a vet. And then the OP will not do it. I think what she is meaning is that if you take on the responsibility of a dog you should be able to handle unexpected situations where you might end up at the vet. It is seen time after time. The pup will need to go to the vet but the poster will elect not too and will get defensive when told it needs to be seen. I think people need to realize the expense involved in being a pet owner.

I'm sorry, but that is not what happens on YT. This is an amazing forum with many people spending a lot of time trying to help people with their yorkies. No one would label you a non-caring, irresponsible pet owner if you came here with a question about your dog's behavior.

I don't quite understand your beef here.

Sadly they are probably not getting those first items you mentioned. :( Some people think if they provide food, water and what they call "love", that is all a pup needs. :(