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Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:20 PM
Tell me if I am wrong
 
Josh and I , hes the BF, have been having communications problems. He goes to college and works on his truck 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. THEN he comes home, around 1 ish and works on it some more, then when I get off work at 4 and I call him and just want to talk 5-15 mins.. he blows me off! :mad:

Then today, we were getting along in the first part, but I haven't talked to him since 11!!! I called him mom bc I was worried about him and she said that hes working on his brothers truck!!! its 9:18, and still he won't answer his phone.

But I do know that if his brothers wife calls he will answer her call!!!!

I am soo mad, I am about to start crying. What should I do, I have tried not talking to him for a few days, but that didn't work.. Any advise, PLEASE!!!

marcerella02 10-06-2007 05:23 PM
i am probably the WORST person to give advice.. lol... i'm very jaded... but i'm of the opinion that if he wants to be with you... truly wants to be with you... he'll do whatever he can to see you...t alk to you.. make you smile.. otherwise... he just sint' that into you.. i was with my ex for 3 years when he decided he had moved on... didn't wnat to see me.... didn't want to talk on the phone.... i'm not saying that is what is happening here... but yuo might want to let him know you are really upset and this is not what you want out of a relationship. sorry bella.. guys suck :(

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:24 PM
I have, and this is not the first time. I don't want to sit and talk to him while hes working on the car, but I do like to check in, tell him things.. etc..

marcerella02 10-06-2007 05:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstarkba (Post 1417083)
I have, and this is not the first time. I don't want to sit and talk to him while hes working on the car, but I do like to check in, tell him things.. etc..
how long have you been together??? how old ar eyou both?

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:26 PM
OH!!
This is the BF that I am suppose to be going to the mountains with this coming up weekend, which I can't get my money back!!! AND the one that I put a deposit on a frieken ring!! I was soo stupid. I am going to go and get a nice pair of ear rings, I think.

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcerella02 (Post 1417091)
how long have you been together??? how old ar eyou both?
3 years, this February. hes 18 and I will be 18 tuesday :D

tjdmom 10-06-2007 05:27 PM
I'm wondering if you're a little young? I think my advise would be to work on filling your life up with your own interests. It sounds like your bf has his own priorities and if you expend all your energy trying to change those priorities, I'm afraid you'll wind up unhappy. But really, it's your life and only you know the whole story so what do you think you should do?:confused:

tmatherly 10-06-2007 05:27 PM
Is this a truck emergency or is working on trucks his hobby? Will this be a temporary thing, or all the time? I get the feeling this is an "all the time" thing. In that case, you need to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend your life...being 2nd to a TRUCK? In all fairness, have a talk about priorities and life goals...if his are to work on his truck all the time, not spend any time with you but still expect benefits, and your's are to have a healthy, loving relationship where you both take each other's time and feelings in consideration..then you should seriously consider parting ways for awhile. If he's like this as your boyfriend, he'll be 10 times worse as a husband. You deserve more...don't give him permission to treat you as if you don't matter.

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:28 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tmatherly (Post 1417100)
Is this a truck emergency or is working on trucks his hobby? Will this be a temporary thing, or all the time? I get the feeling this is an "all the time" thing. In that case, you need to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend your life...being 2nd to a TRUCK? In all fairness, have a talk about priorities and life goals...if his are to work on his truck all the time, not spend any time with you but still expect benefits, and your's are to have a healthy, loving relationship where you both take each other's time and feelings in consideration..then you should seriously consider parting ways for awhile. If he's like this as your boyfriend, he'll be 10 times worse as a husband. You deserve more...don't give him permission to treat you as if you don't matter.

Oh, no its not an emergency. They like to make thigns faster, like he works on his mustang all the time. And hes working on his brothers truck installing a part for performance.

marcerella02 10-06-2007 05:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstarkba (Post 1417095)
3 years, this February. hes 18 and I will be 18 tuesday :D
wow... i hate to say it.. but you guys are young.. I WAS YOUNG at 22 when all this happneed for me... but maybe he is getting scared.... a deposit on a ring??? that's intense for anyone.. maybe he figures if he can push you away you'll break up with him??? but i mean i don't know either of you but it is sounding awefully familiar to me :(

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tmatherly (Post 1417100)
Is this a truck emergency or is working on trucks his hobby? Will this be a temporary thing, or all the time? I get the feeling this is an "all the time" thing. In that case, you need to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend your life...being 2nd to a TRUCK? In all fairness, have a talk about priorities and life goals...if his are to work on his truck all the time, not spend any time with you but still expect benefits, and your's are to have a healthy, loving relationship where you both take each other's time and feelings in consideration..then you should seriously consider parting ways for awhile. If he's like this as your boyfriend, he'll be 10 times worse as a husband. You deserve more...don't give him permission to treat you as if you don't matter.

Oh, no its not an emergency. They like to make thigns faster, like he works on his mustang all the time. And hes working on his brothers truck installing a part for performance.
I like him a lot, but I have to admit hes not romantic. I want a guy to send me flowers on any day, or atleast my bday.. I want to say thigns that i "want" and not have to make a list for my bday and him just go off the thigns I have said in the past that I want.

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcerella02 (Post 1417104)
wow... i hate to say it.. but you guys are young.. I WAS YOUNG at 22 when all this happneed for me... but maybe he is getting scared.... a deposit on a ring??? that's intense for anyone.. maybe he figures if he can push you away you'll break up with him??? but i mean i don't know either of you but it is sounding awefully familiar to me :(

Oh, I regret that ring.. I will go get a nice pair of earrings, or necklace next week!!! We only put $200 down, but still its $200.

Then we put $250 on the cabin, that we can't get back, and still owe $400!!

sabsab00 10-06-2007 05:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcerella02 (Post 1417080)
i am probably the WORST person to give advice.. lol... i'm very jaded... but i'm of the opinion that if he wants to be with you... truly wants to be with you... he'll do whatever he can to see you...t alk to you.. make you smile.. otherwise... he just sint' that into you.. i was with my ex for 3 years when he decided he had moved on... didn't wnat to see me.... didn't want to talk on the phone.... i'm not saying that is what is happening here... but yuo might want to let him know you are really upset and this is not what you want out of a relationship. sorry bella.. guys suck :(
I agree....even if he is busy and cant talk he could still answer the phone and tell you that....but to just ignore you....thats rude. And you said you tried not talking to hi for a few days? what happened - did he try to contact you?

marcerella02 10-06-2007 05:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstarkba (Post 1417107)
Oh, no its not an emergency. They like to make thigns faster, like he works on his mustang all the time. And hes working on his brothers truck installing a part for performance.
I like him a lot, but I have to admit hes not romantic. I want a guy to send me flowers on any day, or atleast my bday.. I want to say thigns that i "want" and not have to make a list for my bday and him just go off the thigns I have said in the past that I want.
don't settle bella.. don't.... after my josh broke upw ith me i said.. you knwo what.. that isn't someone i want to spend forever with.. i want him to call.. or to suprise me with flowers for no reason... to call just to say hi.. or that he missed me.. he didn't do that... i learned a lesson... i won't settle

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sabsab00 (Post 1417109)
I agree....even if he is busy and cant talk he could still answer the phone and tell you that....but to just ignore you....thats rude. And you said you tried not talking to hi for a few days? what happened - did he try to contact you?
Yes, every now and then.. I am sure he worked on his cars for the most part.

The reason I wasn't calling him, would be bc he would yell at me, cuss at me, and I DON"T deserve that! So I said that I wasn't going to talk to him for a week, but it fell through, new I should have lasted :( I wouldn't be upset now.

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcerella02 (Post 1417111)
don't settle bella.. don't.... after my josh broke upw ith me i said.. you knwo what.. that isn't someone i want to spend forever with.. i want him to call.. or to suprise me with flowers for no reason... to call just to say hi.. or that he missed me.. he didn't do that... i learned a lesson... i won't settle
See I thought those things were easy, but obviously not!!! I didn't think I was asking too much!!! geeze. What a great Saturday night.

marcerella02 10-06-2007 05:33 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstarkba (Post 1417115)
Yes, every now and then.. I am sure he worked on his cars for the most part.

The reason I wasn't calling him, would be bc he would yell at me, cuss at me, and I DON"T deserve that! So I said that I wasn't going to talk to him for a week, but it fell through, new I should have lasted :( I wouldn't be upset now.
if you had a friend who's bf was swearing at her and yelling at her.. woudlnt' you be telling her she deserved better??? i dont' think anyone should EVER yell at anyone else...

sabsab00 10-06-2007 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Superstarkba (Post 1417115)
Yes, every now and then.. I am sure he worked on his cars for the most part.

The reason I wasn't calling him, would be bc he would yell at me, cuss at me, and I DON"T deserve that! So I said that I wasn't going to talk to him for a week, but it fell through, new I should have lasted :( I wouldn't be upset now.
Ok, if hes mistreating you and yelling and cursing - you need to let it go. There is NEVER a reason for someone to talk to you that way. Be assertive and tell him what you want and if thats not what he wants then thats it. I know its hard, but you'll be better off.....

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by marcerella02 (Post 1417119)
if you had a friend who's bf was swearing at her and yelling at her.. woudlnt' you be telling her she deserved better??? i dont' think anyone should EVER yell at anyone else...

Yes, its not easy to leave someone, but I have about had it. I don't think I am going to answer, IF he ever calls it will just make me mad, and say things that I shouldn't.

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sabsab00 (Post 1417122)
Ok, if hes mistreating you and yelling and cursing - you need to let it go. There is NEVER a reason for someone to talk to you that way. Be assertive and tell him what you want and if thats not what he wants then thats it. I know its hard, but you'll be better off.....

I know, I think I have about had it. And those few days that I wasn't talking to him I was actually fine, didn't worry about him, thoughts crossed my mind when I saw a missed call, but nothing more than a few seconds. I spent more time doing crafty things, like I learned how to sew.. better thigns for me!

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:36 PM
He's finally calling me, I just hit silent.

sabsab00 10-06-2007 05:36 PM
So you know what to do. You really do deserve better - so insist on it! :D

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sabsab00 (Post 1417132)
So you know what to do. You really do deserve better - so insist on it! :D

I am going to try. We have our good days, 2 times a year, then we have bad days and they are really bad.. I fall soo hard down, and my feelings get hurt, and I don't know if he knows that.

sabsab00 10-06-2007 05:42 PM
I know you feel terrilbe right now...but in the end its going to be worth it.....just take deep breathes and keep your self busy with friends and going out :big_hug:

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:45 PM
BI***!!! UHH. he said the reason he didn't asnwer was bc 1. I miised his call earlier (bc I was eating with my grandparents for my bday dinner) 2. bc I didn't talk to him for a few days. I told him to return my bday presents, I don't want them, and I will cancel the cabin and just loose the amount I put down.

Patti 10-06-2007 05:46 PM
Sorry you are having a rough time. I met my husband when we were 18 and we are still together. But I settled. He rarely buys me gifts on my birthday, we just had our 25th wedding anniversary and he never even said Happy Anniversary. If you are having differences now they usually only get bigger. Don't settle you deserve so much more!!! I know it's hard yto walk away but he seems to have different priorities than you.

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 05:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patti (Post 1417153)
Sorry you are having a rough time. I met my husband when we were 18 and we are still together. But I settled. He rarely buys me gifts on my birthday, we just had our 25th wedding anniversary and he never even said Happy Anniversary. If you are having differences now they usually only get bigger. Don't settle you deserve so much more!!! I know it's hard yto walk away but he seems to have different priorities than you.

Its soo hard. I need to get out more with more guys, that way I can have a fun time and get my mind off him. But I am NOT looking to date anyone..lol.. theres too much drama.

Patti 10-06-2007 05:58 PM
My dtrs high school BF of 3 1/2 years left her 2 years ago and it took her awhile to get over him and she hasn't really had any steady BF but she enjoys time with her friends and one day the right guy will come along for her and you!!!

HallTx1203 10-06-2007 05:58 PM
We have 4 girls. Ranging from 19- 24. We are always telling them that they should never have to settle for less than they deserve. You deserve better too. You deserve flowers, calls, all the things you want.

Maybe call a couple GF's and go see a movie or get a soda. During the day, take the babies to the park....Keep busy....Don't sit by the phone....Talking on YT is good too...lol

This is a hard decision, I wish you all the best.

Superstarkba 10-06-2007 06:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HallTx1203 (Post 1417184)
We have 4 girls. Ranging from 19- 24. We are always telling them that they should never have to settle for less than they deserve. You deserve better too. You deserve flowers, calls, all the things you want.

Maybe call a couple GF's and go see a movie or get a soda. During the day, take the babies to the park....Keep busy....Don't sit by the phone....Talking on YT is good too...lol

This is a hard decision, I wish you all the best.

I will. Hopefully my friend and I can go do some more shopping tomorrow. I am going to wash clothes, and work on some christmas projects, then mid day I am going to take the babies to the park.. it will help.
Hopefully :(


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