Thanks Mandee!!! I don't know if hes right for me. But this is a learning relationship for me. I have learned a lot of things to do, and a lot of things not to do. And I have learned thigns to watch out for in case he isnt the one. The only hard part is, if we ever do get married, then I will always remember this. It will always be on the back of my mind and I will always wonder if he will do this again!!!! I am going to take it slow, not talk but maybe 1 or 2 times a day.. I am about to be 18 and I am going to live like I am 18 lol. I told him that and he frieked out.

Oh, I def. will:D

ah, he will be ok :) he'll get over it.

I am about to tell you the worst thing I have done to my daughter...She had a BF...when they first starting dating I really liked him he was at our house all the time...then his parents bought him a motorcycle...She couldn't get him on the phone, he would say I will be there and wouldn't show up or call to let her know that he wasn't coming...(so, I got to hear her crying...worst thing ever as a parent)...When she finally would get him on the phone he would get crappie with her(tell her that he was with his friends to quit calling him, that he will call when they got finished)...piss me off as her Mom, he should treat my baby better and she would cry more...All summer she put up with him treating her like she wasn't important...that his bike and buddies were the greatest things...Anyway, I told her to take a break not to call him at all let him make all contact...for the first few days it was great he was calling, showing up on time, bringing her food at work, being sweet again...I had to be out of town for work and asked him to take ker to work for me, he said np he would be there and take her to eat before...He didn't show up or call...When she finally got him on the phone he said he forgot and was busy...she was late for work because she had to walk...I felt like crap because I wasn't even in the state to be able to help her...I called him and told him to stay away from my daughter to loose her number and to forget where she lives. He has not tried to make contact with her since...She was mad at me at first but, now she says that if he really wanted to be with her he would not have listened to me...he didn't the other 20 times I told him that...I guess my best advice is to let him make all contact, do not call him, no email...hang out with your friends and just be a teenager...you will find the right one and if he is it he will be there in the end. Good luck.

You are such a good mom for doing that! I'm sure she appreciates it now. That's true that they become very interested in you again when you cut all ties with them. My ex boyfriend, the guy i was with before my bf now, he would hang out with his friends a lot, well not a lot but every weekend. I would see him a couple times a week, usually by going to his house or him coming to mine since we live 20 blocks from each other. It was to the point that i dreaded for the weekends to come cause i knew at a certain time i had to leave him and do my own thing, even tho sometimes i hung out with him and his friends. I didn't even settle for that. I broke things off with him when i went off to college but we still continued to hang out when i would visit and still talked. I guess we were still 'something'. Anyway i got tired of him and the fact that he wasn't treating me the way i wanted him to, sure he was nice, a good person but he wasn't really romantic, was kinda cheap and prefered his friends on weekends. UGH So I was at college with my now boyfriend, we also went to HS together and soon we became an item. I dropped things with my ex for good and he was all crying to me, telling me he loves me, and this went on for months not just days. He would call nonstop, ask me to hang out all the time, he made the time even if he couldn't and i really felt bad. Everytime i saw him he looked pathetic, he just couldn't believe we were actually over. Anyway after months of talking to him, trying to let him off easy he finally accepted it and i no longer talk to him cause my bf doesn't want me to. I have spoken to him on few occasions but nothing serious, just 'how are you', etc..my point is it is true that guys are weird and complicated. They like you the best when you ignore them, it's so annoying. Anyway now i am completely happy and satisfied with my current bf. He is my best friend, is definetly not cheap like my ex, always buying me food, flowers for no reason at all, if we argue he says sorry even if he doesn't know what he did lol and tries to make things better and make me happy again. He hates seeing me sad and loves the dogs so much. He is truly a great guy and im so happy i met him. Sometimes it takes broken hearts to find your one true love, sometimes it is the 1st person you fall in love with you end up mayying, it is different for everyone. Ok im done, wow my post was long lol srry

You are right guys are weird...and can be real jerks...But, your soul mate should be your best friend...Mine is and that is what I wish for my daughter.

Being in a long-distance relationship is very hard. I'm not saying it can't work, I'm just saying it takes a lot of work. It sounds like part of the reason you guys might be having troubles is because you two are feeling a bit insecure?? You feel insecure that he won't just call and check-in and then he's feeling insecure b/c when he does finally call, you might not be able to answer (like when you were eating with your grandparents).

A relationship is absolutely nothing without trust, and also you both have to accept each other the way you are. If there are things about him that annoy you to no end, you have to decide whether or not you can live with that for the rest of your life. And vice versa. Now, I will tell you this...when two people love each other and they know that a certain thing or another annoys the other person, they try to improve that about themselves to make the other person happy :)

So, my point is that you can't change someone, but if they love you, they will try to do what it takes to make you happy. Every relationship has rocky times...

It's not the arguments, it's how you come out of them...You should come out of them stronger than ever.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:

I'm somewhat close in age with you, (Im' 25) and I totally understand where you're coming from. My now husband and I met in college, but were off and on for a few years until we were ready to make that committment to each other. In the times we were off-we both realized we had a lot of growing up to do. We both were too young, too immature, and too selfish to be ready to be together. It took a long time, lots of effort, and lots of soul-searching on both our parts in order to come to the realization and decision that we wanted to be together. And, even after that, we waited awhile to get engaged, and then yet another year to get married. If we hadn't taken that time for ourselves, to figure out what we wanted, needed, and our own goals, we would not be where we are today.

My point is that you need to figure yourselves out-if you don't know who you are, or what you really want, then it's very difficult to be a strong partner in the lifelong committment of marriage. Don't rush yourself-take the time you need. You're young, and you deserve to have the man and the relationship that you want.

Also, remember that ANY two people in any type of relationship or living together (siblings, roommates, boyfriends/girlfriends, spouses) don't get along perfectly 100% of the time. Every relationship has its ups and downs-sometimes you get upset, sometimes you can feel disconnected-that's normal. But, when you feel that way, you need to be able to have a very open, frank, and honest conversation about your feelings, and work through them together. That is one of the best things about my relationship with my husband-though we are both stubborn as they come ;) we can sit down and talk things out so that in the end the issues are resolved.

Like yorkieluv said, It's not the arguments, it's how you come out of them... this is so true. Talk to your BF about your feelings. If he loves you, and wants to be with you, he will do his best to work things out with you. Please let us know how you're doing-if you need anything I'm here.

I feel for you...at only 18 and already having relationship problems....not off on a good note...

My own DD had at one time gone through the same type of relationship and she would be more miserable than content, so I had to pose some tough ?'s for her to think about, as in....
If it's this bad now where do you see yourself in 5 years?....As big as a jerk he is what does that say about you?...Why do you find him so appealing, so attractive, so great to be with?....Why do you expect so little from a man?...Maybe it's not him?...What kind of life with a man are you looking for, is this it?....Could you see him being a good dad?...What if your own daughter brought him home, would you approve?....

He's no longer around....I think we as women expect our men to be our lives, where as for men they are there to share our lives....Once we women get a man all else seems to fall by the wayside, we feel we must be available at all times for them, our social lives tend to stop and we stop growing in all ways.....men are not responsible for making us happy....my, what a burden to place on another human being...I would not like to fill those shoes....we need to stop blaming men, society or anything else for our own personal disappointments...

Men are not talkers, there doers, a man will change your oil, fix your broken chair, & pick up your dinner to show he cares, most men are not going to spend time on a phone as if he's one of our girlfriends....If I tried to tell my DH one of my stories the way I would tell a girlfriend, with every minuscule detail, I would see his eyes rolling up in his head, to much detail for a man.....to much talking....I have to remind myself men don't need all the details...

I'm not saying to leave him or to stay, that is for you to decide, but I do hope if you stay you have a very long engagement, like 4-5 yrs....
Love is not enough, you must also have admiration, respect, honesty, acceptance, supportiveness, thoughtfulness, openness,a similarity of life's values and a wonderful sense of humor to make the long haul with a mate....

I hope you make this decision with your head and not your heart, because your heart will lie, the heart is fickle, the emotions you feel for him in your heart will fluctuate with the wind, one day you are walking on air the next day you want to hit him in the head with a baseball ba....,where as your head will give you honesty and common sence, take your emotions out of the equation and then decide.....Take your time....Just from a mom's point of view...imo

More great advice! I think some of you should write books!

I am really sorry to hear that you are having problems!! Yes, you are very young but all this is very real to you. It's really hard to hear from people that are older saying , "ahhhhh, you are so young"!!! I guarantee you that almost every single person on YT will agree.....that looking back to the age when we were 18 that we thought we had the world figured out BUT OHHHHHH did we all have so much to learn!!!!!
I for one had a very serious BF that I thought I could not live without and could not imagine life without him. Until we broke-up. Turns out that 18 to 22 was the absolute best years of my life!!!! You have no idea how much fun you are going to have over the next few years.
Please don't let a boy that doesn't treat you right ruin what should be the happiest time of your life. Moving on may be hard at first but you should NEVER settle for someone that doesn't treat you right.
Keep us posted!!!!