Uggggh my mother is driving me crazy!!!!!!!! - YorkieTalk.com Forums

sabsab00 · 10-06-2007, 09:54 AM

I dont know what it is - everything I do is wrong to her.....She acts like all I do is sit at home all day and talk on the phone....Meanwhile most of the time she comes home and dinner is cooked - and dishes washed, no messes left. But she always finds SOMETHING to point out that is wrong or bad. The other day I cleaned the ENTIRE house from top to bottom...sweeping, vacuum, dusting, polishing....even bathrooms.... You know what she did? She did it ALL over, she re-cleaned everything like I didnt do anything! And I kept saying to her...but mom I just cleaned that....I dont get it!!! I am 25 yrs old - she acts like im 5 - whenever I go somewhere she askes a million times who im going with where im going and to call her when i get there and when im leaving and she STILL calls me I can understand being concerned - I get that - But shell call me like 10 times... And according to her im not allowed to date either! Its like no matter what I do theres always something bad being sad. If I tell her I got a schlorship and my gpa is 3.8 she tells me "why didnt you get a 4.0" I have had SEVERAL discussions with her about it - and she just starts crying and asking me if I think she likes doing this stuff.....and then she tells me that we dont do anything around the house to help her - completely not true. It just feels like shes always the martyr and im the devil - im at the end of my rope here....Am I completely wrong about feeling this way?????

LunasMomma · 10-06-2007, 10:09 AM

That must hurt

The only thing that might stop her is if you move out, unfortunately.

Yorkie3 · 10-06-2007, 10:13 AM

You're 25 years old, is there any way you can get a place of your own? As long as you're in her house, you'll have to put up with her ways. Sorry, sometimes that's just the way it is.

sweetr72 · 10-06-2007, 10:15 AM

I have to agree..its time to move out and be on your own. My mother was and still can be controlling if I LET her...its hard not to let her when you are still living under her roof..why not start looking for your own apartment..its fun!!

Dawn

sabsab00 · 10-06-2007, 10:18 AM

Yes - I am starting to look, have been for awhile....it's a little hard right now - I just lost my job and I live in NY so rent is crazy here and most of the places Ive seen so far dont accept pets

....Im crossing my fingers that I get a job ASAP - ive been going on interviews like a mad woman lol It is so frustrating though, I could understand if I really did sit around the house all day and do nothing -but I dont

sweetr72 · 10-06-2007, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabsab00

Yes - I am starting to look, have been for awhile....it's a little hard right now - I just lost my job and I live in NY so rent is crazy here and most of the places Ive seen so far dont accept pets

....Im crossing my fingers that I get a job ASAP - ive been going on interviews like a mad woman lol It is so frustrating though, I could understand if I really did sit around the house all day and do nothing -but I dont

I totally understand what you mean about trying to find a job..im in the same position myself..you just have to let what she says roll off your back..you cant control what she says but you CAN control your feelings and reactions. If she wants to waste her time "re-cleaning" let her do it...thats not your problem. You KNOW what you are doing around there..just ignore the negative comments..walk away..go for a walk..she will get the hint and if she dosent oh well...keep ignoring the negativity. Do you have a couple girlfriends you could possibly share the rent with somewhere..its a cheaper solution for the time being and when you get back on your feet you can find your own place..

Dawn

sabsab00 · 10-06-2007, 10:28 AM

My mom has been like this for years and I was always able to handle it - but recently it just seems like everything is going wrong so im letting her get to me....there MIGHT be a chance that I can rent an apt with a friend for only $400 a month - which is awesome - but that is a BIG MIGHT... I just keep thinking that things are going to get better - because I doubt they could get worse...I have the option of moving in with my dad - but hes in FL and im not sure I want to do that...I just have to keep focused and take a deep breathe - it feels good to know that other people can understand - my friends think im nuts when I tell them - cause shes sugary sweet to them - my mom isnt a bad person at all, and i love her and am thankful for her, but i do think she is unhappy with her life and taking it out on everyone else...

Yorkiekids · 10-06-2007, 11:28 AM

My mom was just like yours and I was in theraphy for years trying to undo what she had done to my self esteem. I'm 53 and still have problems. I'd definetly find a place of your own. If you can't afford an apartment, rent a room, live in a tent. Do anything to get away from her. I can tell you from my experience even when I was gone, and I'd call her and she'd be mean. When I told her I was pregant(married) She said why would you do such a stupid thing. She was just a nut job.

SevenGirl · 10-06-2007, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabsab00

My mom has been like this for years and I was always able to handle it - but recently it just seems like everything is going wrong so im letting her get to me....there MIGHT be a chance that I can rent an apt with a friend for only $400 a month - which is awesome - but that is a BIG MIGHT... I just keep thinking that things are going to get better - because I doubt they could get worse...I have the option of moving in with my dad - but hes in FL and im not sure I want to do that...I just have to keep focused and take a deep breathe - it feels good to know that other people can understand - my friends think im nuts when I tell them - cause shes sugary sweet to them - my mom isnt a bad person at all, and i love her and am thankful for her, but i do think she is unhappy with her life and taking it out on everyone else...

Oh, that would be great if you could work that deal out with your friend! I hope it comes through for you. Keep us posted!

Catrina · 10-06-2007, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabsab00

I dont know what it is - everything I do is wrong to her.....She acts like all I do is sit at home all day and talk on the phone....Meanwhile most of the time she comes home and dinner is cooked - and dishes washed, no messes left. But she always finds SOMETHING to point out that is wrong or bad. The other day I cleaned the ENTIRE house from top to bottom...sweeping, vacuum, dusting, polishing....even bathrooms.... You know what she did? She did it ALL over, she re-cleaned everything like I didnt do anything! And I kept saying to her...but mom I just cleaned that....I dont get it!!! I am 25 yrs old - she acts like im 5 - whenever I go somewhere she askes a million times who im going with where im going and to call her when i get there and when im leaving and she STILL calls me I can understand being concerned - I get that - But shell call me like 10 times... And according to her im not allowed to date either! Its like no matter what I do theres always something bad being sad. If I tell her I got a schlorship and my gpa is 3.8 she tells me "why didnt you get a 4.0" I have had SEVERAL discussions with her about it - and she just starts crying and asking me if I think she likes doing this stuff.....and then she tells me that we dont do anything around the house to help her - completely not true. It just feels like shes always the martyr and im the devil - im at the end of my rope here....Am I completely wrong about feeling this way?????

I am in the EXACT same situation cept mine is a little more... psychotic!! she goes as far as checking my phone bills and calling everyone asking if they are my bf or something...

and demands that she speaks to whoever im with... i need to move out too so im trying to find a good job ASAP!! just try and ignore her.. thats what i do and try not to let what she says get to me.. im 22 btw and this is sooo ridiculous!

SANDYSAND · 10-06-2007, 12:49 PM

I think at 25 maybe you should be getting a place for your own. Parents mean well but they can be a pain in the ****. I hope you can afford it and save some money and do it!!! I love my family and I am really close to them but they get on my nerves at times, I enjoy having them over for gatherings but I like it this way...Even though it cost me more I rather have the space and peace of mind (no matter what they are always right) According to them.
Good Lunck and hope everthing gets better for you

grayxie · 10-06-2007, 02:14 PM

Do her actions have to do with any cultural or religious reasons? I hope you are able to find a place that will take pets that doesn't make you pay alot more.

sabsab00 · 10-06-2007, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by grayxie

Do her actions have to do with any cultural or religious reasons? I hope you are able to find a place that will take pets that doesn't make you pay alot more.

Nope, it has nothing to do with culture or religion...

sabsab00 · 10-06-2007, 02:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Catrina

I am in the EXACT same situation cept mine is a little more... psychotic!! she goes as far as checking my phone bills and calling everyone asking if they are my bf or something...

and demands that she speaks to whoever im with... i need to move out too so im trying to find a good job ASAP!! just try and ignore her.. thats what i do and try not to let what she says get to me.. im 22 btw and this is sooo ridiculous!

I hope we both find a job and a place Wow - yea my mom doent do that atleast - but if she hears me on the phone with a guy she goes ballistic...I dunno but if I was a mom I would want my children to be happy and enjoying their lives

lara2913 · 10-06-2007, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Yorkiekids

My mom was just like yours and I was in theraphy for years trying to undo what she had done to my self esteem. I'm 53 and still have problems. I'd definetly find a place of your own. If you can't afford an apartment, rent a room, live in a tent. Do anything to get away from her. I can tell you from my experience even when I was gone, and I'd call her and she'd be mean. When I told her I was pregant(married) She said why would you do such a stupid thing. She was just a nut job.

I agree with this, I was in a similar situation with my mother and just had to get out. Over time our relationship has become somewhat better, things just get worse and worse when you live together.

10-06-2007, 09:54 AM	#1
sabsab00 Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: queens Posts: 1,256	Uggggh my mother is driving me crazy!!!!!!!! I dont know what it is - everything I do is wrong to her.....She acts like all I do is sit at home all day and talk on the phone....Meanwhile most of the time she comes home and dinner is cooked - and dishes washed, no messes left. But she always finds SOMETHING to point out that is wrong or bad. The other day I cleaned the ENTIRE house from top to bottom...sweeping, vacuum, dusting, polishing....even bathrooms.... You know what she did? She did it ALL over, she re-cleaned everything like I didnt do anything! And I kept saying to her...but mom I just cleaned that....I dont get it!!! I am 25 yrs old - she acts like im 5 - whenever I go somewhere she askes a million times who im going with where im going and to call her when i get there and when im leaving and she STILL calls me I can understand being concerned - I get that - But shell call me like 10 times... And according to her im not allowed to date either! Its like no matter what I do theres always something bad being sad. If I tell her I got a schlorship and my gpa is 3.8 she tells me "why didnt you get a 4.0" I have had SEVERAL discussions with her about it - and she just starts crying and asking me if I think she likes doing this stuff.....and then she tells me that we dont do anything around the house to help her - completely not true. It just feels like shes always the martyr and im the devil - im at the end of my rope here....Am I completely wrong about feeling this way?????

10-06-2007, 10:09 AM	#2
LunasMomma Izzy's Momma Too! Donating Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Stuart, Florida Posts: 8,799	That must hurt The only thing that might stop her is if you move out, unfortunately. __________________ Tracy, Mom to Izzy and Luna

10-06-2007, 10:13 AM	#3
Yorkie3 Donating YT 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Indiana Posts: 4,685	You're 25 years old, is there any way you can get a place of your own? As long as you're in her house, you'll have to put up with her ways. Sorry, sometimes that's just the way it is. __________________ Janet

10-06-2007, 11:28 AM	#8
Yorkiekids Piper & Sebastian Donating Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: florida Posts: 14,495	My mom was just like yours and I was in theraphy for years trying to undo what she had done to my self esteem. I'm 53 and still have problems. I'd definetly find a place of your own. If you can't afford an apartment, rent a room, live in a tent. Do anything to get away from her. I can tell you from my experience even when I was gone, and I'd call her and she'd be mean. When I told her I was pregant(married) She said why would you do such a stupid thing. She was just a nut job. __________________ Susan, Piper ,Harley & Suiki

10-06-2007, 12:49 PM	#11
SANDYSAND Mommy Loves Koda & Kacy! Donating Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Home of the NY Yankees Posts: 6,500	I think at 25 maybe you should be getting a place for your own. Parents mean well but they can be a pain in the **. I hope you can afford it and save some money and do it!!! I love my family and I am really close to them but they get on my nerves at times, I enjoy having them over for gatherings but I like it this way...Even though it cost me more I rather have the space and peace of mind (no matter what they are always right) According to them. Good Lunck and hope everthing gets better for you __________________ http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=3a2e8eedc3dc6290fbd72e&skin_id=1603&utm_s ource=otm&utm_medium=text_url Mommy Loves:Koda & Kacy. Smile Life is a GIFT First Lady of the SRC~ Koda Benji**

10-06-2007, 10:15 AM	#4
sweetr72 No Longer a Member Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 6,111	I have to agree..its time to move out and be on your own. My mother was and still can be controlling if I LET her...its hard not to let her when you are still living under her roof..why not start looking for your own apartment..its fun!! Dawn

10-06-2007, 10:18 AM	#5
sabsab00 Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: queens Posts: 1,256	Yes - I am starting to look, have been for awhile....it's a little hard right now - I just lost my job and I live in NY so rent is crazy here and most of the places Ive seen so far dont accept pets ....Im crossing my fingers that I get a job ASAP - ive been going on interviews like a mad woman lol It is so frustrating though, I could understand if I really did sit around the house all day and do nothing -but I dont

10-06-2007, 10:28 AM	#7
sabsab00 Donating Senior Yorkie Talker Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: queens Posts: 1,256	My mom has been like this for years and I was always able to handle it - but recently it just seems like everything is going wrong so im letting her get to me....there MIGHT be a chance that I can rent an apt with a friend for only $400 a month - which is awesome - but that is a BIG MIGHT... I just keep thinking that things are going to get better - because I doubt they could get worse...I have the option of moving in with my dad - but hes in FL and im not sure I want to do that...I just have to keep focused and take a deep breathe - it feels good to know that other people can understand - my friends think im nuts when I tell them - cause shes sugary sweet to them - my mom isnt a bad person at all, and i love her and am thankful for her, but i do think she is unhappy with her life and taking it out on everyone else...

10-06-2007, 02:14 PM	#12
grayxie Donating YT 2000 Club Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Dresher, PA Posts: 2,779	Do her actions have to do with any cultural or religious reasons? I hope you are able to find a place that will take pets that doesn't make you pay alot more.