I am the worst mother ever

[For My Coby]

In our house, our kids were responsible for their own laundry as soon as they could reach the buttons with a step stool. Same with dishes, etc.

When they went to college, they said the best thing was waking up on Saturday and knowing there were no chores that had to be done. They may be slobs for a few years until the newness wears off.

The only thing that they had their own control over was their room. I only asked that there was a "path" from the door to the bed in case there was a fire (and they sometimes failed there!). But in the rest of the house, we lived as a "community" where everyone had responsibilities. They "learned" the responsibilities/skills. Whether or not they decide to use the skills later in life is entirely up to them. But my work of training them is done.......

[Grayson's mom]

We take away money if chore dosn't get done. They don't get full amont unless all chores have been done properly.

I guess I'm a bad mom too!

[Yorkie3]

We never gave our son an allowance. His dad and I didn't get paid for taking care of our home and we didn't feel he should either. We do things around the house that have to be done. We all live here, we all do them with no pay.

I wash the clothes in this house and put them in the dryer, from that point, my husband and son take care of their own clothes. (Son is 16, but has been doing this since he was 10.) Matter of fact, my son did the laundery when he was 10 because I had a hysterectomy and hubby didn't know how to run the washer and dryer. I had shown my son a number of times and he remembered how.

Rule is if something is on the floor and I have to pick it up...it goes in the trash. Obviously they care nothing for it if it was on the floor. I run a pretty tight ship, not because I want things perfect, I just want some free time too, just like they do.

[Tiggerwit]

Welcome to my world!!

You were well within your right and I think you did good. Just don't cave. Big hugs.

[LunasMomma]

Doing this makes you a GOOD mom, whether they realize it or not They will appreciate it when they're older You're doing the best thing for them. Just stick to it, and they'll turn out to be more responsible adults for it.

Hang in there! I hope you feel better soon

[Graleyne]

Thanks ya'll. I really do feel like I'm being mean but I am SO TIRED of having to do everything for everyone. There is no reason why they can't help out around here.

[SevenGirl]

Originally Posted by LunasMomma

Doing this makes you a GOOD mom, whether they realize it or not They will appreciate it when they're older You're doing the best thing for them. Just stick to it, and they'll turn out to be more responsible adults for it.

Hang in there! I hope you feel better soon

Great post! Being a good mom is tough---it means not always being the good guy. It means doing what is best for them even if they don't realize it or like it. Sounds to me like you are doing a good job and making your kids pull their own weight. Now comes the hard part--sticking to it when they complain and it is just easier to give in and do it yourself. You can do it!!!

[txshopper73]

I've been known to "go on strike" when I've had enough! No cooking, no cleaning, no picking up anything. Of course, the kids can handle it but hubby gets a bit upset...so that's when he starts getting on the kids.

[Angela]

I am so mad at my two 16 year old boys right now, I can't even poat to you! LOL........Just wanted to say I feel your pain. I JUST had go around with one who I let go on a dinner date tonight, to discover his room was a mess and he didn't help with a few things he could have when he got home. I am so close to taking homecoming away if something dosen't change and change soon. Yesterday it was the other son. I am really tired of how I am treated here. I love my kids more than my own lfe, but I am fixing to START living my life and they can wait for a ride here or there if I am not home. I am married to a great guy, but it's even effecting me being happy at home which spills over into marraige...........so? Hope you feel better.

Angie

[Patti]

Trust me mae the changes now! I have a 22 year old who thinks because she is going to college full time and working 20 hours a week that that is ALL she has to do, I am embarrassed to say she never has made her bed, done laundry or helped clean the house, SHe leave her dirthy glasses in her room, opened bags of chips etc. I now I screwed up big time by spoiling her so bad. Now I am trying to get her to help and she just doesn't get it!!! SO start now you won't regret it.

[jp4m2]

Originally Posted by txshopper73

I've been known to "go on strike" when I've had enough! No cooking, no cleaning, no picking up anything. Of course, the kids can handle it but hubby gets a bit upset...so that's when he starts getting on the kids.

I tried that once...no one noticed....

I heard once if your kid says, "I hate you!"... you know your doing a good job...

[labrown]

You know, I think that too many moms today are worried about making friends with their kids and what their kids think of them that they aren't laying down the law. I can say that I thought I HATED my mom when I was a kid because she was the boss, and looking back, I didn't know what was right. And, everyone needs to learn that you aren't entitled to anything, like clean dishes, a steady income, or a warm bed to sleep in. I have met so many kids in college that think that they are owed so much! And they whine to COLLEGE PROFESSORS when they dish out homework!! WHAT IS UP WITH THAT??? We lived on a farm, so our chore list was endless! Feed the cows, mow 7 yards, pick weeds, do dishes, empty the dishwasher, fold clothes, clean your room, vacuum, dust, mop, scrub the tub, SCOOP COW POOP!!! And those are just the things I can think of off the top of my head. My mom had a dry erase board in the kitchen, and she wrote all of the things that needed to get done every day, and then would put our initials by who had to do what. We didn't get allowances, we didn't get any new clothes, all hand me down's, we didn't have bikes, we didn't get cars when we were 16, we got 20 bucks for our birthday and 40 bucks for Christmas, and that's all my folks could afford! If we left stuff out, my dad hid it. My sister had a habit of leaving lights on, and every time my dad had to shut off a light for her, he charged her 5 cents! And some of you may think this is archaic, but I'M NOT THAT OLD! This was going on in the '90's!! Anyway, I digress, I love my parents now, and appreciate the fact that I learned to live on my own two feet when I was at home. To be honest, I spent a majority of my highschool career grounded. My parents' way or the highway! STICK TO YOUR GUNS! YOU WILL BE GLAD YOU DID, AND SO WILL THEY!! Best of Luck!!!

[cowgirl5175]

I thought I was the only one who was dealing with this issue. Let me give you a little backround info. I have a daughter who is 10 and a son who is 12. I also have a fiance who is 34. My kids are VERY spoiled due to me feeling guilty after divorcing their father. My fiance had a mother who waited on him hand and foot growing up. When he walked in the door, he dropped his school stuff and she hung it up for him. Whatever clothes he wore to school would be freshly laundered waiting on him by that evening. I not only have these issues with my children, but my fiance as well. I work full time, pick my daughter up at the sitters, pick my son up from football, and then go home and cook dinner, dishes, laundry, etc. I spend all weekend every weekend just trying to get things done that I could not accomplish before I fall into an exhausted sleep every night around midnight. I am at my whits end. People think I am crazy because I have 4 furbabies, but to tell you the truth, they keep me sane! I do not know what to do. Everytime I ask the kids to do something, they throw a fit. My fiance comes home from work and falls asleep in his chair every night. Now granted he has been working non stop 12 to 16 hours days 7 days a week for the last month and a half. But before that, he still did not help. Just stopping doing anything is not an option, because I can not stand to live that way. My finance gets onto the kids for not doing anything. I always ask him how he can get onto them when he does nothing. You have to lead by example. He just looks at me. Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. I love them all more than life itself, but I refuse to be a maid any longer!

[labrown]

Are you enabling the problem? That is the biggest question. Stop enabling the dependent behavior. Then come up with a solution from there.

[Tiggerwit]

changed my mind about what I was going to say, sorry.