Ungrateful Teenager

[Jenn218]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

Way too many teens today "just don't get it". When my 3 got a bit sassy, I would remind them that they were entitled to food, shelter, clothing, an education, and moral training. EVERYTHING else was optional and was provided because we were financially able and because I wanted to.

A pinto beans, cole slaw and cornbread makes a fairly nutritionally balanced meal

The unheated bonus room above the garage with a matress on the floor fulfilled the shelter requirement

Goodwill and Salvation Army sells some mighty fine clothes

They can wait in the cold rain in winter and hot rain in summer for the BIG YELLOW BUS to take them to school

I am not obligated to provide computers, tv's, cable, telephones, cell phones, ipods, and will NEVER EVER provide booze, drugs OR condem's This little speech usually quietened them down for a while --

That was great!!! Thanks for that!!!

I think when kids reach a certain age (and it seems to be getting younger and younger) they act out and push boundaries, just to see what they can do. Plus, they are changing so much (physically and mentally)...that they become like a different person.

The bad thing is, you can't push too hard but you can't be too soft either. So where is the inbetween??? They definitely didn't define that anywhere, did they?

My daughter is 13 and she has learned about pushing boundaries, etc. She isn't bad, compared to what I have seen or heard, but still! It gets dealt w/ right away to avoid it growing into a bigger problem.

You can also talk w/ the school counselor too! They are free to talk to and they may be able to give you some ideas as to what you can do and say to help the situation.

I know some people that just let their kids treat them so horrible and let them do whatever - the life and learn lesson, I guess - that is scary to me because I am sure that most of those kids don't learn a lot from what they are doing.....in fact, I bet that those parent's will regret that choice later on. I am not for kids being disrespectful, at all. --and I am a very fun and laid back person, which most kids like...but they know if they do something wrong around me, I will not be happy.

I just hope everything works out......sometimes, these moods, tempers, etc will fade once they get out of these pre-teen years. (I hope). These years are already such trying times for the kids.......I still don't think a quick call or visit to the school counselor would hurt - and he wouldn't even have to know about it!

[yougetthesmiles]

does he have a father figure in his life? If not, maybe he is resenting you for that. It would be so hard to have to be a single parent,, I dont know how I would handle something like that. I got very lucky and have 2 wonderful parents who have been married for over 35 years.

[Jenn218]

Originally Posted by yougetthesmiles

does he have a father figure in his life? If not, maybe he is resenting you for that. It would be so hard to have to be a single parent,, I dont know how I would handle something like that. I got very lucky and have 2 wonderful parents who have been married for over 35 years.

Same here.......growing up, it seemed like out of all my friends, my parents were the only ones still married. I grow up in a fun house, where my Dad worked at home and my mom worked outside the home. BUT, they were always happy (only seen them "fight" a few times growing up - which it is healthy for that, I guess). We always did stuff together and even though I am grown, we still do (just not as much).

I think w/ preteens and teens today, there is so much put on them and they are trying so hard to figure out where they belong and fit in and what they need to do and not do....I think they just get overwhelmed. I think that they act out because they don't know what else to do!

Has he just recently started acting out? Maybe there is something behind it then?! I would definitely talk to someone, if not for help, but for support for you! Talking to someone doesn't hurt and if you can do it for free, that is even better!

[Connie]

You could check to see if there is a Tough Love group in your area. There you could get support from others who are going through the same thing. I belonged to a TL group when my daughter was acting out as a teen. It really helped me through those times. Good luck to you and sending hugs!

[ChestersMom]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

Way too many teens today "just don't get it". When my 3 got a bit sassy, I would remind them that they were entitled to food, shelter, clothing, an education, and moral training. EVERYTHING else was optional and was provided because we were financially able and because I wanted to.

A pinto beans, cole slaw and cornbread makes a fairly nutritionally balanced meal

The unheated bonus room above the garage with a matress on the floor fulfilled the shelter requirement

Goodwill and Salvation Army sells some mighty fine clothes

They can wait in the cold rain in winter and hot rain in summer for the BIG YELLOW BUS to take them to school

I am not obligated to provide computers, tv's, cable, telephones, cell phones, ipods, and will NEVER EVER provide booze, drugs OR condem's This little speech usually quietened them down for a while --

This, alone, will help me cope

[veguroev]

Originally Posted by chattiesmom

Way too many teens today "just don't get it". When my 3 got a bit sassy, I would remind them that they were entitled to food, shelter, clothing, an education, and moral training. EVERYTHING else was optional and was provided because we were financially able and because I wanted to.

A pinto beans, cole slaw and cornbread makes a fairly nutritionally balanced meal

The unheated bonus room above the garage with a matress on the floor fulfilled the shelter requirement

Goodwill and Salvation Army sells some mighty fine clothes

They can wait in the cold rain in winter and hot rain in summer for the BIG YELLOW BUS to take them to school

I am not obligated to provide computers, tv's, cable, telephones, cell phones, ipods, and will NEVER EVER provide booze, drugs OR condem's This little speech usually quietened them down for a while --

I love it!! I don't have kids and I'm not planning on having any at all, but I will save this one for my sisters that have kids

[ChestersMom]

Thanks for all the replies. This whole blow-up centers around laziness, which is something I've been dealing with forever with him. I have my lazy moments, like everyone, but my parents raised me to be a conscientious worker. To add to my frustration, I spend all day babysitting two grown women who are just as lazy, if not more so. He's absolutely wonderful around other people, always helpful, etc., but with me, it's like - who cares?

So, he's decided to call his Granny and PaPa to see if they'll let him come live with them. We've been through this before, when he was failing math. When he figured out they teach math in every state of the union, he decided to stay home!

He's not a bad kid, but any stretch of the imagination, but when I ask him to do something, I expect it to be done. I'm even willing to put up with a little bit of arguing now and then, but I still expect it to be done. We had a water leak in the laundry yesterday and he called me at work to tell me. I asked him to turn the water off, clean up the floor and I'd deal with it when I got home. Well, I came home to soaking wet towels all over the dryer (washer right next to it) and all over the floor. He'd barely taken the time to throw towels around. Add that to the trash that was not taken out after three days of me asking him and a dirty room after three days of me asking him. I was livid. So, I grounded him. Poor baby, guess I asked too much from him.

I'm sure this will blow over, but I'm sticking to my guns about him being grounded. And, I'm looking for a new job. I cannot stand laziness.

Sorry for the long post, but I'm still so frustrated about the whole ordeal.